towerofanimus | Is it a Gift or is it a Curse?

Characters: Naminé (

lethechained) and open.
Setting: Floor Twenty
Format: Starting this way, will match.
Summary: Naminé is not sure what to make of her 'reward' for participating in the experiment.
Warnings: Contemplation, mentions of being trapped in a castle full of heartless people. TL;DR, as is unfortunately often the case I'msosorry.

[Naminé is not entirely certain what to make of the 'reward' she's been given for her participation in the experiment. Just finding it on her bed was startling enough; she never thought she'd see it again.]

[She isn't sure she wanted to.]

[The fact that the little sewn doll's eyes were closed had not made it any less jarring. It's still an obvious replica of her; imperfect, of course, since its hair is conspicuously made of yarn and it has (rather arbitrary) tiny wings attached, but nonetheless when it had sat benignly in its birdcage in Castle Oblivion when the castle had been her own prison, it had always been meant to represent her. So what, then, does it represent now?]

[That's what she's wondering, among other things, as she cradles it in her hands. She's seated just a little ways in from the rim of the twentieth floor. Roxas had found a place on the clock tower in Twilight Town, and although she'd never managed to find a place of her own like that, she thought that perhaps this particular floor was at least worth a try. It's precariously high and affords a view of the distance, so it has at least that in common with the clock tower. There's no sunset to speak of at the moment, but that's okay.]

[The doll arrived free of its cage. Maybe, in a way, it now shares a cage with its original. Or, instead, perhaps it's a sign of things to come. Whatever the case, she isn't certain that she should keep it. It's all too suspicious, considering its source. But even as she considers discarding it, even as she starts to move her arm back to throw it from the tower and from her thoughts, she finds she can't do it. She can't let it go.]

[It reminds her of a hard time, yes, and its presence is unnerving purely because of what it represents, but at the same time, it just seems... wrong to thow it away. It's her in effigy, yes, and that's both the reason she keeps it and a reason why she shouldn't bother; she knows better than to maintain a loyalty to herself, the incomplete shadow of someone else, and yet - to be real, to leave something behind, to not be forgotten is something she's always craved. It's a poor substitute for a heart and she knows it, but the doll is more real than she'll even be and she just doesn't have the not-heart to throw it away, but she does set it down next to her instead of continuing to hold it because she's not so sure when her mind will change again.]

[It's not quite enough to make her miss Twilight Town.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I'd prefer that it not be obvious, because at least-- at least no one's being kidnapped, or cut open, or forced to do things. [All of which were horrible things to have to say, but even more to have to actually be involved in. She regarded the doll for a moment.] I'm not grateful, exactly, but I can handle this better than the-- other things.

[Suzaku nodded looking grim] They should not be hurting anyone in anyways at all. But you are right, this way is more bareable at least.

[Naminé nodded back, then paused, looking contemplative.] It seems like someone's always trying to hurt someone else, or trying to use them. Is it like this everywhere, in all of the worlds?

[Suzaku wishes he could say no, that there must be worlds out there where those with less power and strength wern't preyed on. But honestly... from all the people he had spoken to...]

Unfortunatly I think cruelty is a constant throughout all the worlds. Those with power and those who rule will always try and use those weaker than them.

... I'm not surprised. [She'd hoped, but she knew better than to think it was anything other than in vain.] There's evil in every heart, in every world. I guess... it's just a matter of how much. I know of places where the rulers are kind, but... even there, there are those who seek to hurt others.

[Suzaku nodded, this was the case that he had seen as well. And really he was part of that, he had done awful things. He had followed rulers who saught to hurt others and even though he had been trying to change the world for the better, he was not sure that the good he would achieve if he and Lelouch succeeded would ever wipe out the bad he had done.

Of course, now he was stuck here and Schneizel had probably won so...]

I would have hoped there would be at least one world that was different, but of all the poeple I've spoken to... I haven't found one yet...

[She frowned down at her hands for a little while, then,] Some say that light and darkness cannot exist without each other. I guess... that maybe it's that way with good and evil. As long as the good is there, too, then-- it's better than there being nothing there at all. [And boy does she know about Nothing.]

[Suzaku nods quietly thinking of the emperors plans for Raganok, he nodded again slowly.] It is always better that people get to chose, even if they chose evil and that there is something rather than a world that cannot move forwards.

Yes.... [In a way, it's kind of a hopeful thought; at the same time, it's a hopeless one.] And even painful things have a purpose. [She'd learned that well enough, too, and more than once she'd had to try to teach that to the people who needed to know it.]

[Suzaku nodded] They do, because we take lessons from them and don't repeat our mistakes.

Exactly. [She looked back up at him, trying to smile.] So I guess... we have a lot to be thankful for. [That it wasn't worse in the tower, that what's been left behind has been learned from, and maybe even the warning against making the same mistakes in the future. She still wasn't happy about the 'reward', but when looked at in the right way, it was much more bearable.] Not that I want to thank them, but... it's not all bad.

[Suzaku frowned but nodded, he guessed maybe, when they thought about it like that... that they had a lot to be thankful for... but still.] You are right, but we should not thankful. No one should harm others like they do. We must take measures to stop them, to make sure that what happened doesn't happen again.

It seems like everyone's saying that. [She shook her head.] But... how would we do that? I mean-- [She didn't exactly want to embrace that hopelessness like she had before, because even if some part of her still believed it, it wasn't an outlook she could allow herself to have.] ...if they can control us anyway, like with the surveys, how would we...?

[--... huh. A thought just occurred to her.] Although if their control was absolute, why would they have needed to do those experiments? It sounded like at least part of what they were studying was how well they could control us. Maybe their power is limited somehow.

[Suzaku nodded, he had thought that too, they had performed experiments so that probably meant they were still testing.] We have to fight them now, before their control does become absolute. {As for how, he had absolutely no idea.]

[She definitely seemed to be considering this.] But... even if we did know how to fight them, who would we be fighting? The people who work for the tower that we actually get to see have collars, too, and the way they act-- it's... strange. It's hard to tell if they work for the tower because they want to or because they have to. [And, more chilling, was that where everyone else was headed? She placed a hand lightly against her own collar.]

[Suzaku paled as she spoke, interpreting her gesture of touching her collar. Had those red collared people been an earlier group of experiments? Was that going to happen to them? Was there any way they could stop people that powerful.]

I don't know. But we will find a way. [He doesn't sound too sure.]

[That uncertainty was not lost on her, and she turned her eyes his way to regard him quietly for a few moments. Then, she smiled a wan smile. He looked like he needed the encouragement.]

Good luck.

[Suzaku didn't smile, but he did not in thanks.] Thank you. Stay safe. [He tucked the watch into his pocket, he was not going to get rid of it. He would keep it, remind himself of what he had done, what he had been made to do. And why he had to stop this.]

[So he'd come to the same decision she had about keeping his 'reward'. She made no comment on that, only kept smiling even when he didn't, because someone had to, didn't they?] You too. [He seemed like he'd need it.]

Is it a Gift or is it a Curse?

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