Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oathshackledbird) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2014-01-22 01:50 pm
oathshackledbird) wrote in towerofanimus2014-01-22 01:50 pm
The Darkness Between Heartbeats
Characters: Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (oathshackledbird ) and anyone! (Closed prompt for Tear Grants, melodyoftheabyss , and Jade Curtiss, sarcasmancer .)
Setting: Room 4-16 on the 16th (Closed to Diarmuid), Infirmary/Collar Fluid Change on the 18th (Open), Infirmary on the 20th (Late & Open), Gym Floor on the 22nd-25th (Open with a closed section for Tear and Jade) and Various during the week he is powerless (the 18th through the 25th).
Format: Starting in prose but pick your poison from there!
Summary: After waking up from dying during the Nyx Revenge Log, Diarmuid takes a few things from his room and disappears along with Mac an Chuill, so that he can finally face that darkness inside of him and find those lines he will not cross as Saber has advised him to do. For the first few days, he will have his powers and be fine, but after the 18th all bets are off when he takes the new collar fluid and loses all of his powers. Wouldn't you know it? Orcs are a lot faster when one is just a human without powers... Once he has gotten himself back together near the end of the week, he can be found in the gym for all those folks who might want to get a spar in with him while they have a better chance to beat him...
Warnings: Angst, references to death, dark negative emotions/angst, mind control, injury, blood, stitching up wounds, mentions of evisceration, and fighting monsters. Others are possible depending on where conversations go. Will update if needed!
Room 4-16, January 16th (Closed to Diarmuid):
The Darkness. It's still there, and Diarmuid doesn't mean just because he can't open his eyes frozen by sleep paralysis as he is. What he means is the darkness inside of him. The darkness that has always been there and that he has been hiding from for...has it really been over a year now? Yes, it has. On January 4th to be specific, though Diarmuid really hadn't been thinking about it then. He had been too distracted by other things like keeping an eye on Waver while his powers returned and thinking about all the things that had happened during the incident with Jason...
It's hard to keep being distracted after Ganondorf's magic pulled that darkness out of the corner Diarmuid had shoved it into and allowed it to possess him heart and soul. Diarmuid could blame himself for letting it happen, for not having dealt with it sometime during that year, but what good would that do? It would just give that darkness power over him again.
It's time he stops doing that. Time he looks into that part of him he's been denying and stop letting it frighten him to the point that his fear is causing to happen the very things he wishes so much to avoid. It's time to find those lines, to mark them, and make sure that he never strays near them again.
It's rather ironic that Ganondorf's attempt to punish him is going to make him stronger instead. Diarmuid is positive of that. He will accept nothing less. Still, it will not be any easy process and he's not exactly sure how things are going to go. It will to take a while and he is probably not going to be the nicest person to be around at times. That is why, as soon as he can move, Diarmuid gathers a few things from his trunk, beckons for Mac an Chuill to follow, and leaves his room.
He has no plans on returning until he has to, and hopefully by then, he will be able to be the strong shoulder that all his friends and family are going to need after this.
Infirmary, January 18th (Open):
Diarmuid leaves Mac an Chuill outside the Infirmary doors when he goes in for his collar fluid change. It's very early in the day, but he has arrived early on purpose. After being missing for two days, it's likely people are looking for him, and he needs to make sure he gets this taken care of quickly, so that he can hopefully avoid running into anyone who might want to talk to him. To be honest, this is probably not the best time for him to be switching over to the new collar fluid, but at the same time he doesn't want to keep putting it off.
At least he was smart enough to switch over to his dress clothes before having it done. Considering his armor is summoned and part of his powers, once they fail things could get embarrassing fast. As it is, as soon as the power loss hits him, Diarmuid can't help but stumble. It's just as disorienting as any other time, but with the added bonus of somehow being much worse. Maybe it's because of his own state of mind, maybe it's because he knows that he can't just leave the floor and have his powers return, or maybe it's because somehow it just seems much more complete this time. No matter the reason, instead of leaving immediately, he takes a seat back in an empty corner of the Infirmary to settle himself for a few moments.
A soft whine and a lick across his hand cause Diarmuid to look tiredly up at Mac an Chuill, before reaching out to pat the loyal hound on top of the head, "Just give me a moment, okay? Then we can go. There's much to do."
Infirmary, January 20th-Late (Open):
His breath comes in shaky pants between clenched teeth as he stitches up the sword wound that starts around his sternum and crosses his collarbone ending near the top of his shoulder blade. Diarmuid has stitched up many wounds in much worse conditions and with far fewer supplies before, but he's been pushing for two days without food or sleep and his now human body is not happy with him.
Not to mention, he lost no small amount of blood getting down here. Considering how blurred his vision has become off and on, it's probably a good thing that he had Mac an Chuill to help get him down to the Infirmary in the first place. Of course, had the hound not finished off the orc that had wounded him, Diarmuid might not have had to worry about making it to the Infirmary. He would have been worrying about having to start this whole no powers week all over again instead.
Diarmuid frowns has he finishes stitching the wound and reaches for his dress shirt. Right, strike that. It's ruined until he can drag himself to floor 51 to maybe repair it. It's probably a good thing he remembered to bring his father's cloak along. It's rather cold to be going without a shirt, even for just a short time. Hesitant to get blood on the fine garment, he takes a long time to clean as much of it off himself as he can...
...and nearly blacks out in the process.
From the doorway where Diarmuid left him to stand guard, Mac an Chuill whines. The animal is clearly worried about him. He knows the smell of blood and so much of it smelling of his owner is not good. Diarmuid makes a soft sound to comfort the hound as he somehow finds enough strength to finish cleaning himself off. Once done, he wraps his father's cloak around his shoulders, pulling it close around his body and settles into a chair, ironically enough the one he had sat in a few days prior after he had gotten his collar fluid changed. Much like then, he plans on just taking a short breather and then moving on again.
The fact that a few seconds after he sits down, he passes out from exhaustion and blood loss says differently.
Gym, January 22nd-25th (Open):
Now that a few days have passed, Diarmuid has grown more used to being powerless for a long period of time, his mind is more settled, and his wound doesn't burn every time he takes a breath. He's eaten, he's rested--albeit brokenly--and is in much better shape than he was just a few nights ago when he passed out in the Infirmary. Not quite ready to return to all of those he calls family and friend, he instead makes the gym his home, carefully working out and practicing with Gae Buidhe and a monster spear that is about the same weight and size as Gae Dearg. He misses being able to summon the spear, but without his powers the weapon is out of his reach. However, his feelings of loss are tempered when he realizes the next time he summons it, he will be summoning the real thing not a glamoured copy.
That alone is enough to bring a smile to his face despite how tired he is, despite the face he is powerless, and despite the fact that he still needs to work out several things in his mind. Those things will all come. They are coming, in fact. Bit by bit. Swing by swing.
Thinking through things while practicing is as natural as breathing, after all.
Gym, (Closed to Tear and Jade):
Diarmuid's dress shirt had not been able to be saved no matter how hard he tried and so he'd made himself a sleeveless long tunic of a similar color as his uniform on floor 51 to replace it, and that's what he's wearing over his black slacks while he practices and waits for Jade and Tear to arrive. Mac an Chuill sleeps nearby and with his senses reduced because his powers are gone, Diarmuid knows that the hound, sleeping or not, will likely be the first to notice when Jade and Tear arrive. That is why Diarmuid has positioned himself so that he can practice while keeping an eye on the dog.
Despite all that has happened this week, he is excited to get to meet Tear again. She might not be the same as the one he had known, but from what Jade has told him, she is every bit the talented and kind soul the other version had been. He looks forward to actually getting to work with her this time.
Various Floors, January 16th-25th (Open):
From the time he wakes up and leaves his room through the whole week he is powerless, Diarmuid is going to be on the move. It won't be until he starts hanging out in the gym toward the end of week that he begins spending a great amount of time any one place, which means that he can be found just about anywhere if none of the above listed prompts seem interesting. Keep in mind that since people know to look for him on floor 100 because he goes there a lot to think, he will be avoiding that floor. Once he has lost his powers, he will also be avoiding most of the more dangerous floors in the Tower since, while he has a lot of his mind, the last thing he wants to do is get himself killed. This latest death was death number seven--not that he will tell anyone who doesn't realize it themselves--and he has now firsthand started feeling the odd effects that come from having died so many times.
Finally, considering his poor shirt got ruined--stupid orc--and he is going to be making himself a new one, feel free to use floor 51 as a prompt after the 20th if you would like!
oathshackledbird ) and anyone! (Closed prompt for Tear Grants, melodyoftheabyss , and Jade Curtiss, sarcasmancer .)Setting: Room 4-16 on the 16th (Closed to Diarmuid), Infirmary/Collar Fluid Change on the 18th (Open), Infirmary on the 20th (Late & Open), Gym Floor on the 22nd-25th (Open with a closed section for Tear and Jade) and Various during the week he is powerless (the 18th through the 25th).
Format: Starting in prose but pick your poison from there!
Summary: After waking up from dying during the Nyx Revenge Log, Diarmuid takes a few things from his room and disappears along with Mac an Chuill, so that he can finally face that darkness inside of him and find those lines he will not cross as Saber has advised him to do. For the first few days, he will have his powers and be fine, but after the 18th all bets are off when he takes the new collar fluid and loses all of his powers. Wouldn't you know it? Orcs are a lot faster when one is just a human without powers... Once he has gotten himself back together near the end of the week, he can be found in the gym for all those folks who might want to get a spar in with him while they have a better chance to beat him...
Warnings: Angst, references to death, dark negative emotions/angst, mind control, injury, blood, stitching up wounds, mentions of evisceration, and fighting monsters. Others are possible depending on where conversations go. Will update if needed!
Room 4-16, January 16th (Closed to Diarmuid):
The Darkness. It's still there, and Diarmuid doesn't mean just because he can't open his eyes frozen by sleep paralysis as he is. What he means is the darkness inside of him. The darkness that has always been there and that he has been hiding from for...has it really been over a year now? Yes, it has. On January 4th to be specific, though Diarmuid really hadn't been thinking about it then. He had been too distracted by other things like keeping an eye on Waver while his powers returned and thinking about all the things that had happened during the incident with Jason...
It's hard to keep being distracted after Ganondorf's magic pulled that darkness out of the corner Diarmuid had shoved it into and allowed it to possess him heart and soul. Diarmuid could blame himself for letting it happen, for not having dealt with it sometime during that year, but what good would that do? It would just give that darkness power over him again.
It's time he stops doing that. Time he looks into that part of him he's been denying and stop letting it frighten him to the point that his fear is causing to happen the very things he wishes so much to avoid. It's time to find those lines, to mark them, and make sure that he never strays near them again.
It's rather ironic that Ganondorf's attempt to punish him is going to make him stronger instead. Diarmuid is positive of that. He will accept nothing less. Still, it will not be any easy process and he's not exactly sure how things are going to go. It will to take a while and he is probably not going to be the nicest person to be around at times. That is why, as soon as he can move, Diarmuid gathers a few things from his trunk, beckons for Mac an Chuill to follow, and leaves his room.
He has no plans on returning until he has to, and hopefully by then, he will be able to be the strong shoulder that all his friends and family are going to need after this.
Infirmary, January 18th (Open):
Diarmuid leaves Mac an Chuill outside the Infirmary doors when he goes in for his collar fluid change. It's very early in the day, but he has arrived early on purpose. After being missing for two days, it's likely people are looking for him, and he needs to make sure he gets this taken care of quickly, so that he can hopefully avoid running into anyone who might want to talk to him. To be honest, this is probably not the best time for him to be switching over to the new collar fluid, but at the same time he doesn't want to keep putting it off.
At least he was smart enough to switch over to his dress clothes before having it done. Considering his armor is summoned and part of his powers, once they fail things could get embarrassing fast. As it is, as soon as the power loss hits him, Diarmuid can't help but stumble. It's just as disorienting as any other time, but with the added bonus of somehow being much worse. Maybe it's because of his own state of mind, maybe it's because he knows that he can't just leave the floor and have his powers return, or maybe it's because somehow it just seems much more complete this time. No matter the reason, instead of leaving immediately, he takes a seat back in an empty corner of the Infirmary to settle himself for a few moments.
A soft whine and a lick across his hand cause Diarmuid to look tiredly up at Mac an Chuill, before reaching out to pat the loyal hound on top of the head, "Just give me a moment, okay? Then we can go. There's much to do."
Infirmary, January 20th-Late (Open):
His breath comes in shaky pants between clenched teeth as he stitches up the sword wound that starts around his sternum and crosses his collarbone ending near the top of his shoulder blade. Diarmuid has stitched up many wounds in much worse conditions and with far fewer supplies before, but he's been pushing for two days without food or sleep and his now human body is not happy with him.
Not to mention, he lost no small amount of blood getting down here. Considering how blurred his vision has become off and on, it's probably a good thing that he had Mac an Chuill to help get him down to the Infirmary in the first place. Of course, had the hound not finished off the orc that had wounded him, Diarmuid might not have had to worry about making it to the Infirmary. He would have been worrying about having to start this whole no powers week all over again instead.
Diarmuid frowns has he finishes stitching the wound and reaches for his dress shirt. Right, strike that. It's ruined until he can drag himself to floor 51 to maybe repair it. It's probably a good thing he remembered to bring his father's cloak along. It's rather cold to be going without a shirt, even for just a short time. Hesitant to get blood on the fine garment, he takes a long time to clean as much of it off himself as he can...
...and nearly blacks out in the process.
From the doorway where Diarmuid left him to stand guard, Mac an Chuill whines. The animal is clearly worried about him. He knows the smell of blood and so much of it smelling of his owner is not good. Diarmuid makes a soft sound to comfort the hound as he somehow finds enough strength to finish cleaning himself off. Once done, he wraps his father's cloak around his shoulders, pulling it close around his body and settles into a chair, ironically enough the one he had sat in a few days prior after he had gotten his collar fluid changed. Much like then, he plans on just taking a short breather and then moving on again.
The fact that a few seconds after he sits down, he passes out from exhaustion and blood loss says differently.
Gym, January 22nd-25th (Open):
Now that a few days have passed, Diarmuid has grown more used to being powerless for a long period of time, his mind is more settled, and his wound doesn't burn every time he takes a breath. He's eaten, he's rested--albeit brokenly--and is in much better shape than he was just a few nights ago when he passed out in the Infirmary. Not quite ready to return to all of those he calls family and friend, he instead makes the gym his home, carefully working out and practicing with Gae Buidhe and a monster spear that is about the same weight and size as Gae Dearg. He misses being able to summon the spear, but without his powers the weapon is out of his reach. However, his feelings of loss are tempered when he realizes the next time he summons it, he will be summoning the real thing not a glamoured copy.
That alone is enough to bring a smile to his face despite how tired he is, despite the face he is powerless, and despite the fact that he still needs to work out several things in his mind. Those things will all come. They are coming, in fact. Bit by bit. Swing by swing.
Thinking through things while practicing is as natural as breathing, after all.
Gym, (Closed to Tear and Jade):
Diarmuid's dress shirt had not been able to be saved no matter how hard he tried and so he'd made himself a sleeveless long tunic of a similar color as his uniform on floor 51 to replace it, and that's what he's wearing over his black slacks while he practices and waits for Jade and Tear to arrive. Mac an Chuill sleeps nearby and with his senses reduced because his powers are gone, Diarmuid knows that the hound, sleeping or not, will likely be the first to notice when Jade and Tear arrive. That is why Diarmuid has positioned himself so that he can practice while keeping an eye on the dog.
Despite all that has happened this week, he is excited to get to meet Tear again. She might not be the same as the one he had known, but from what Jade has told him, she is every bit the talented and kind soul the other version had been. He looks forward to actually getting to work with her this time.
Various Floors, January 16th-25th (Open):
From the time he wakes up and leaves his room through the whole week he is powerless, Diarmuid is going to be on the move. It won't be until he starts hanging out in the gym toward the end of week that he begins spending a great amount of time any one place, which means that he can be found just about anywhere if none of the above listed prompts seem interesting. Keep in mind that since people know to look for him on floor 100 because he goes there a lot to think, he will be avoiding that floor. Once he has lost his powers, he will also be avoiding most of the more dangerous floors in the Tower since, while he has a lot of his mind, the last thing he wants to do is get himself killed. This latest death was death number seven--not that he will tell anyone who doesn't realize it themselves--and he has now firsthand started feeling the odd effects that come from having died so many times.
Finally, considering his poor shirt got ruined--stupid orc--and he is going to be making himself a new one, feel free to use floor 51 as a prompt after the 20th if you would like!
infirmary, 1/20
[Without a word he quickly crossed the room and knelt down in front of Diarmuid, holding out both hands and trying to direct his prana towards healing; his mental state had been chaotic for days, so the difficulty in concentration caused the light around his hands to flicker more erratically than usual.]
no subject
Diarmuid doesn't stir at the bark. It takes several moment so of Waver's unsteady healing before that very healing breaks through to Diarmuid's exhausted mind. His eyes flutter several times before he finally manages to focus enough to keep them open slightly. When he realizes Waver is there, he tries and fails to smile.]
Orcs...are faster now. Who knew...
[Did Waver remember Diarmuid had planned to switch out his collar fluid this week? Not that Diarmuid had bothered to remind him during that short and tense encounter they had earlier in the week. The magus...no, they both...had too many other things on their minds at the time.]
no subject
I can't focus if you're talking.
no subject
[Diarmuid almost says that he's fine and Waver doesn't need to worry, but that would be a lie. A straight out, boldfaced lie. So instead of doing that, Diarmuid falls quiet as requested. He closes his eyes and just lets himself drift while Waver does what he can.
As still as he eventually gets, it wouldn't be surprising if Waver thinks he's passed out again. However, he's merely dozing lightly.]
no subject
[As the silence continued, Waver's shoulders began shaking. Behind his hands there was a choked sound that might just have been heard as repressed sobbing.]
no subject
Shh...don't. Please, Mo Stór, don't cry.
no subject
[Waver kept muttering apologies between choked sobs and shaking breaths, eyes fixed on the floor. He let Diarmuid pull his hands away, any resistance having completely broken along with the cold demeanor he'd been keeping for days.]
I fucked up, I'm so sorry.
no subject
[It's hard and he has to bite back a gasp of pain, but Diarmuid manages to move himself from the chair to kneel in front of Waver. He wraps his arms around the sobbing magus, left hand rubbing his partner's back lightly while the injured right just holds on the best he can.]
It's not your fault. You did what you had to. Someone had to stop me and you know me best. You freed me. You stopped me from hurting anyone. Please...don't hate yourself for this...
no subject
[He hadn't dared move to return the embrace, mostly out of fear he'd only aggravate Diarmuid's injuries further.]
There wasn't any other choice, I know that. But I-I'm...not any better now than he was. How can you ever trust me again now that we both realize I can do something like that without even stopping to think about it?
no subject
[Diarmuid shifts slightly in an effort to try and coax Waver to look at him.]
It is the opposite. You saw what they did to me and you loved me enough to stop me before there was nothing left of me to stop. Yes, on the surface you and he would have taken the same actions, but you know as well as I do that the reasons behind those actions are very different. Stop just looking at the surface when you know there is more to be seen. Stop selling yourself so short.
The truth is...if you hadn't stopped me Waver, then I really would have had trouble trusting you. I would have worried that our relationship was starting to negatively impact our abilities to do what we have to just like you feared it might when we first talked of it. As it is, my trust in you is only strengthened. You did what had to be done no matter how much it hurt. You protected what I could not and for that, I cannot thank you enough.
no subject
...Please, just...just let this be the end of it. I can't do this anymore, Diarmuid, I physically and mentally can't take any more of this revenge bullshit.
no subject
[And he did. Diarmuid understands completely that it is one thing to have someone else forgive you and another thing entirely to forgive yourself.
It is so much hard to forgive yourself no matter what anyone says.
Since Waver won't look up at him, Diarmuid rests his head against the magus' squeezing him tighter with his one good arm.]
I swear to you I won't. I swear... If I had known... I should have listened... I...
[He's shaking as he speaks and the shaking goes worse until he just stops talking period.]
no subject
I'm not angry with you. So--if you can, please make an effort not to blame yourself.
no subject
[Since he can't really hug Waver with is right arm, Diarmuid draws it back to himself, and then reaches out to lightly start wiping tears from Waver's face. The hand shakes, though, a result of both is own emotional upset and physical weakness at the moment.]
I know I said I could handle the fall, but I was wrong. This all...this has all been a nightmare from start to finish. I just want to wake up and not have you all hurting anymore...
no subject
[Waver took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. Taking Diarmuid's hand lightly, he quickly wiped away tears with his own sleeve and gave a shaky smile.]
C-come on...let's get some bandages on that and I'll help you get back to my room. It should be quiet enough that we can both get some rest.
no subject
[Diarmuid allows Waver to help him up so that they can get some proper dressings on his wound. Part of him says they really should talk about this more, but he's so tired that really all he wants is that quiet room and sleep that Waver has so kindly offered him.]
Maybe next time Riki is in charge, I should just get myself moved to your room. How much of a fit do you think the others would have?
no subject
[He laughed softly, starting to work on wrapping Diarmuid's injury in bandages as carefully as possible.]
...Hey--you really aren't angry with me for all of this?
no subject
[Diarmuid smiles slightly, rolling his eyes. He then reaches out to brush a few strands of hair from Waver's face.]
I'm really not angry. I swear it to you.
no subject
...Good. Then let's just try to put this absolute bullshit behind us.
no subject
[Diarmuid reaches up to rub at the spot where he was poked.]
Are...you sure you don't need or want to say anything else? We should get it all out and taken care of now, shouldn't we?
no subject
[Waver fell silent for a moment as he finished bandaging Diarmuid's would, resting a hand over his friend's as he hesitated.]
...I've never killed anyone before.
no subject
[Diarmuid smiles at him--an actual real smile that fades as soon as Waver continues speaking. Honestly, he's not sure what to say. At the time, his mind had been too far gone to remember that Waver had never killed anyone before. Now that he has been reminded...he suddenly feels sick. Tears wet the corners of his eyes despite a very hard attempt to hold them back.]
I'm sorry... I...
[Giving up on words that just won't come, Diarmuid leans forward to rest his head against Waver's.]
What I wouldn't give for our bond right now so I could just show you how I feel through it...
no subject
[Waver took a breath and sighed, closing his eyes.]
Didn't really expect it would be like this.
no subject
[Diarmuid shakes his head.]
You shouldn't have had to. When we go back...I should have been the one to take care of that for you. I'm your protector. I'm...
[He pauses, sighing after a moment.]
But that's not how being partners works...
no subject
Can you stand? You can lean on my shoulder if you need to.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)