Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oathshackledbird) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2014-01-22 01:50 pm
oathshackledbird) wrote in towerofanimus2014-01-22 01:50 pm
The Darkness Between Heartbeats
Characters: Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (oathshackledbird ) and anyone! (Closed prompt for Tear Grants, melodyoftheabyss , and Jade Curtiss, sarcasmancer .)
Setting: Room 4-16 on the 16th (Closed to Diarmuid), Infirmary/Collar Fluid Change on the 18th (Open), Infirmary on the 20th (Late & Open), Gym Floor on the 22nd-25th (Open with a closed section for Tear and Jade) and Various during the week he is powerless (the 18th through the 25th).
Format: Starting in prose but pick your poison from there!
Summary: After waking up from dying during the Nyx Revenge Log, Diarmuid takes a few things from his room and disappears along with Mac an Chuill, so that he can finally face that darkness inside of him and find those lines he will not cross as Saber has advised him to do. For the first few days, he will have his powers and be fine, but after the 18th all bets are off when he takes the new collar fluid and loses all of his powers. Wouldn't you know it? Orcs are a lot faster when one is just a human without powers... Once he has gotten himself back together near the end of the week, he can be found in the gym for all those folks who might want to get a spar in with him while they have a better chance to beat him...
Warnings: Angst, references to death, dark negative emotions/angst, mind control, injury, blood, stitching up wounds, mentions of evisceration, and fighting monsters. Others are possible depending on where conversations go. Will update if needed!
Room 4-16, January 16th (Closed to Diarmuid):
The Darkness. It's still there, and Diarmuid doesn't mean just because he can't open his eyes frozen by sleep paralysis as he is. What he means is the darkness inside of him. The darkness that has always been there and that he has been hiding from for...has it really been over a year now? Yes, it has. On January 4th to be specific, though Diarmuid really hadn't been thinking about it then. He had been too distracted by other things like keeping an eye on Waver while his powers returned and thinking about all the things that had happened during the incident with Jason...
It's hard to keep being distracted after Ganondorf's magic pulled that darkness out of the corner Diarmuid had shoved it into and allowed it to possess him heart and soul. Diarmuid could blame himself for letting it happen, for not having dealt with it sometime during that year, but what good would that do? It would just give that darkness power over him again.
It's time he stops doing that. Time he looks into that part of him he's been denying and stop letting it frighten him to the point that his fear is causing to happen the very things he wishes so much to avoid. It's time to find those lines, to mark them, and make sure that he never strays near them again.
It's rather ironic that Ganondorf's attempt to punish him is going to make him stronger instead. Diarmuid is positive of that. He will accept nothing less. Still, it will not be any easy process and he's not exactly sure how things are going to go. It will to take a while and he is probably not going to be the nicest person to be around at times. That is why, as soon as he can move, Diarmuid gathers a few things from his trunk, beckons for Mac an Chuill to follow, and leaves his room.
He has no plans on returning until he has to, and hopefully by then, he will be able to be the strong shoulder that all his friends and family are going to need after this.
Infirmary, January 18th (Open):
Diarmuid leaves Mac an Chuill outside the Infirmary doors when he goes in for his collar fluid change. It's very early in the day, but he has arrived early on purpose. After being missing for two days, it's likely people are looking for him, and he needs to make sure he gets this taken care of quickly, so that he can hopefully avoid running into anyone who might want to talk to him. To be honest, this is probably not the best time for him to be switching over to the new collar fluid, but at the same time he doesn't want to keep putting it off.
At least he was smart enough to switch over to his dress clothes before having it done. Considering his armor is summoned and part of his powers, once they fail things could get embarrassing fast. As it is, as soon as the power loss hits him, Diarmuid can't help but stumble. It's just as disorienting as any other time, but with the added bonus of somehow being much worse. Maybe it's because of his own state of mind, maybe it's because he knows that he can't just leave the floor and have his powers return, or maybe it's because somehow it just seems much more complete this time. No matter the reason, instead of leaving immediately, he takes a seat back in an empty corner of the Infirmary to settle himself for a few moments.
A soft whine and a lick across his hand cause Diarmuid to look tiredly up at Mac an Chuill, before reaching out to pat the loyal hound on top of the head, "Just give me a moment, okay? Then we can go. There's much to do."
Infirmary, January 20th-Late (Open):
His breath comes in shaky pants between clenched teeth as he stitches up the sword wound that starts around his sternum and crosses his collarbone ending near the top of his shoulder blade. Diarmuid has stitched up many wounds in much worse conditions and with far fewer supplies before, but he's been pushing for two days without food or sleep and his now human body is not happy with him.
Not to mention, he lost no small amount of blood getting down here. Considering how blurred his vision has become off and on, it's probably a good thing that he had Mac an Chuill to help get him down to the Infirmary in the first place. Of course, had the hound not finished off the orc that had wounded him, Diarmuid might not have had to worry about making it to the Infirmary. He would have been worrying about having to start this whole no powers week all over again instead.
Diarmuid frowns has he finishes stitching the wound and reaches for his dress shirt. Right, strike that. It's ruined until he can drag himself to floor 51 to maybe repair it. It's probably a good thing he remembered to bring his father's cloak along. It's rather cold to be going without a shirt, even for just a short time. Hesitant to get blood on the fine garment, he takes a long time to clean as much of it off himself as he can...
...and nearly blacks out in the process.
From the doorway where Diarmuid left him to stand guard, Mac an Chuill whines. The animal is clearly worried about him. He knows the smell of blood and so much of it smelling of his owner is not good. Diarmuid makes a soft sound to comfort the hound as he somehow finds enough strength to finish cleaning himself off. Once done, he wraps his father's cloak around his shoulders, pulling it close around his body and settles into a chair, ironically enough the one he had sat in a few days prior after he had gotten his collar fluid changed. Much like then, he plans on just taking a short breather and then moving on again.
The fact that a few seconds after he sits down, he passes out from exhaustion and blood loss says differently.
Gym, January 22nd-25th (Open):
Now that a few days have passed, Diarmuid has grown more used to being powerless for a long period of time, his mind is more settled, and his wound doesn't burn every time he takes a breath. He's eaten, he's rested--albeit brokenly--and is in much better shape than he was just a few nights ago when he passed out in the Infirmary. Not quite ready to return to all of those he calls family and friend, he instead makes the gym his home, carefully working out and practicing with Gae Buidhe and a monster spear that is about the same weight and size as Gae Dearg. He misses being able to summon the spear, but without his powers the weapon is out of his reach. However, his feelings of loss are tempered when he realizes the next time he summons it, he will be summoning the real thing not a glamoured copy.
That alone is enough to bring a smile to his face despite how tired he is, despite the face he is powerless, and despite the fact that he still needs to work out several things in his mind. Those things will all come. They are coming, in fact. Bit by bit. Swing by swing.
Thinking through things while practicing is as natural as breathing, after all.
Gym, (Closed to Tear and Jade):
Diarmuid's dress shirt had not been able to be saved no matter how hard he tried and so he'd made himself a sleeveless long tunic of a similar color as his uniform on floor 51 to replace it, and that's what he's wearing over his black slacks while he practices and waits for Jade and Tear to arrive. Mac an Chuill sleeps nearby and with his senses reduced because his powers are gone, Diarmuid knows that the hound, sleeping or not, will likely be the first to notice when Jade and Tear arrive. That is why Diarmuid has positioned himself so that he can practice while keeping an eye on the dog.
Despite all that has happened this week, he is excited to get to meet Tear again. She might not be the same as the one he had known, but from what Jade has told him, she is every bit the talented and kind soul the other version had been. He looks forward to actually getting to work with her this time.
Various Floors, January 16th-25th (Open):
From the time he wakes up and leaves his room through the whole week he is powerless, Diarmuid is going to be on the move. It won't be until he starts hanging out in the gym toward the end of week that he begins spending a great amount of time any one place, which means that he can be found just about anywhere if none of the above listed prompts seem interesting. Keep in mind that since people know to look for him on floor 100 because he goes there a lot to think, he will be avoiding that floor. Once he has lost his powers, he will also be avoiding most of the more dangerous floors in the Tower since, while he has a lot of his mind, the last thing he wants to do is get himself killed. This latest death was death number seven--not that he will tell anyone who doesn't realize it themselves--and he has now firsthand started feeling the odd effects that come from having died so many times.
Finally, considering his poor shirt got ruined--stupid orc--and he is going to be making himself a new one, feel free to use floor 51 as a prompt after the 20th if you would like!
oathshackledbird ) and anyone! (Closed prompt for Tear Grants, melodyoftheabyss , and Jade Curtiss, sarcasmancer .)Setting: Room 4-16 on the 16th (Closed to Diarmuid), Infirmary/Collar Fluid Change on the 18th (Open), Infirmary on the 20th (Late & Open), Gym Floor on the 22nd-25th (Open with a closed section for Tear and Jade) and Various during the week he is powerless (the 18th through the 25th).
Format: Starting in prose but pick your poison from there!
Summary: After waking up from dying during the Nyx Revenge Log, Diarmuid takes a few things from his room and disappears along with Mac an Chuill, so that he can finally face that darkness inside of him and find those lines he will not cross as Saber has advised him to do. For the first few days, he will have his powers and be fine, but after the 18th all bets are off when he takes the new collar fluid and loses all of his powers. Wouldn't you know it? Orcs are a lot faster when one is just a human without powers... Once he has gotten himself back together near the end of the week, he can be found in the gym for all those folks who might want to get a spar in with him while they have a better chance to beat him...
Warnings: Angst, references to death, dark negative emotions/angst, mind control, injury, blood, stitching up wounds, mentions of evisceration, and fighting monsters. Others are possible depending on where conversations go. Will update if needed!
Room 4-16, January 16th (Closed to Diarmuid):
The Darkness. It's still there, and Diarmuid doesn't mean just because he can't open his eyes frozen by sleep paralysis as he is. What he means is the darkness inside of him. The darkness that has always been there and that he has been hiding from for...has it really been over a year now? Yes, it has. On January 4th to be specific, though Diarmuid really hadn't been thinking about it then. He had been too distracted by other things like keeping an eye on Waver while his powers returned and thinking about all the things that had happened during the incident with Jason...
It's hard to keep being distracted after Ganondorf's magic pulled that darkness out of the corner Diarmuid had shoved it into and allowed it to possess him heart and soul. Diarmuid could blame himself for letting it happen, for not having dealt with it sometime during that year, but what good would that do? It would just give that darkness power over him again.
It's time he stops doing that. Time he looks into that part of him he's been denying and stop letting it frighten him to the point that his fear is causing to happen the very things he wishes so much to avoid. It's time to find those lines, to mark them, and make sure that he never strays near them again.
It's rather ironic that Ganondorf's attempt to punish him is going to make him stronger instead. Diarmuid is positive of that. He will accept nothing less. Still, it will not be any easy process and he's not exactly sure how things are going to go. It will to take a while and he is probably not going to be the nicest person to be around at times. That is why, as soon as he can move, Diarmuid gathers a few things from his trunk, beckons for Mac an Chuill to follow, and leaves his room.
He has no plans on returning until he has to, and hopefully by then, he will be able to be the strong shoulder that all his friends and family are going to need after this.
Infirmary, January 18th (Open):
Diarmuid leaves Mac an Chuill outside the Infirmary doors when he goes in for his collar fluid change. It's very early in the day, but he has arrived early on purpose. After being missing for two days, it's likely people are looking for him, and he needs to make sure he gets this taken care of quickly, so that he can hopefully avoid running into anyone who might want to talk to him. To be honest, this is probably not the best time for him to be switching over to the new collar fluid, but at the same time he doesn't want to keep putting it off.
At least he was smart enough to switch over to his dress clothes before having it done. Considering his armor is summoned and part of his powers, once they fail things could get embarrassing fast. As it is, as soon as the power loss hits him, Diarmuid can't help but stumble. It's just as disorienting as any other time, but with the added bonus of somehow being much worse. Maybe it's because of his own state of mind, maybe it's because he knows that he can't just leave the floor and have his powers return, or maybe it's because somehow it just seems much more complete this time. No matter the reason, instead of leaving immediately, he takes a seat back in an empty corner of the Infirmary to settle himself for a few moments.
A soft whine and a lick across his hand cause Diarmuid to look tiredly up at Mac an Chuill, before reaching out to pat the loyal hound on top of the head, "Just give me a moment, okay? Then we can go. There's much to do."
Infirmary, January 20th-Late (Open):
His breath comes in shaky pants between clenched teeth as he stitches up the sword wound that starts around his sternum and crosses his collarbone ending near the top of his shoulder blade. Diarmuid has stitched up many wounds in much worse conditions and with far fewer supplies before, but he's been pushing for two days without food or sleep and his now human body is not happy with him.
Not to mention, he lost no small amount of blood getting down here. Considering how blurred his vision has become off and on, it's probably a good thing that he had Mac an Chuill to help get him down to the Infirmary in the first place. Of course, had the hound not finished off the orc that had wounded him, Diarmuid might not have had to worry about making it to the Infirmary. He would have been worrying about having to start this whole no powers week all over again instead.
Diarmuid frowns has he finishes stitching the wound and reaches for his dress shirt. Right, strike that. It's ruined until he can drag himself to floor 51 to maybe repair it. It's probably a good thing he remembered to bring his father's cloak along. It's rather cold to be going without a shirt, even for just a short time. Hesitant to get blood on the fine garment, he takes a long time to clean as much of it off himself as he can...
...and nearly blacks out in the process.
From the doorway where Diarmuid left him to stand guard, Mac an Chuill whines. The animal is clearly worried about him. He knows the smell of blood and so much of it smelling of his owner is not good. Diarmuid makes a soft sound to comfort the hound as he somehow finds enough strength to finish cleaning himself off. Once done, he wraps his father's cloak around his shoulders, pulling it close around his body and settles into a chair, ironically enough the one he had sat in a few days prior after he had gotten his collar fluid changed. Much like then, he plans on just taking a short breather and then moving on again.
The fact that a few seconds after he sits down, he passes out from exhaustion and blood loss says differently.
Gym, January 22nd-25th (Open):
Now that a few days have passed, Diarmuid has grown more used to being powerless for a long period of time, his mind is more settled, and his wound doesn't burn every time he takes a breath. He's eaten, he's rested--albeit brokenly--and is in much better shape than he was just a few nights ago when he passed out in the Infirmary. Not quite ready to return to all of those he calls family and friend, he instead makes the gym his home, carefully working out and practicing with Gae Buidhe and a monster spear that is about the same weight and size as Gae Dearg. He misses being able to summon the spear, but without his powers the weapon is out of his reach. However, his feelings of loss are tempered when he realizes the next time he summons it, he will be summoning the real thing not a glamoured copy.
That alone is enough to bring a smile to his face despite how tired he is, despite the face he is powerless, and despite the fact that he still needs to work out several things in his mind. Those things will all come. They are coming, in fact. Bit by bit. Swing by swing.
Thinking through things while practicing is as natural as breathing, after all.
Gym, (Closed to Tear and Jade):
Diarmuid's dress shirt had not been able to be saved no matter how hard he tried and so he'd made himself a sleeveless long tunic of a similar color as his uniform on floor 51 to replace it, and that's what he's wearing over his black slacks while he practices and waits for Jade and Tear to arrive. Mac an Chuill sleeps nearby and with his senses reduced because his powers are gone, Diarmuid knows that the hound, sleeping or not, will likely be the first to notice when Jade and Tear arrive. That is why Diarmuid has positioned himself so that he can practice while keeping an eye on the dog.
Despite all that has happened this week, he is excited to get to meet Tear again. She might not be the same as the one he had known, but from what Jade has told him, she is every bit the talented and kind soul the other version had been. He looks forward to actually getting to work with her this time.
Various Floors, January 16th-25th (Open):
From the time he wakes up and leaves his room through the whole week he is powerless, Diarmuid is going to be on the move. It won't be until he starts hanging out in the gym toward the end of week that he begins spending a great amount of time any one place, which means that he can be found just about anywhere if none of the above listed prompts seem interesting. Keep in mind that since people know to look for him on floor 100 because he goes there a lot to think, he will be avoiding that floor. Once he has lost his powers, he will also be avoiding most of the more dangerous floors in the Tower since, while he has a lot of his mind, the last thing he wants to do is get himself killed. This latest death was death number seven--not that he will tell anyone who doesn't realize it themselves--and he has now firsthand started feeling the odd effects that come from having died so many times.
Finally, considering his poor shirt got ruined--stupid orc--and he is going to be making himself a new one, feel free to use floor 51 as a prompt after the 20th if you would like!
no subject
[If things weren't so serious, this would trigger Yukiko's secret 'pardon me for a moment, I'm just going to hug your dog' reflex. As it stands, she pulls up a chair next to Mac an Chuill - but only after giving him a smile and a scratch behind the ears.]
I meant physically, but - well. I don't think anyone involved is actually one-hundred percent okay, not after what happened. I'm still kind of in shock, to be honest.
no subject
[Diarmuid smiles down at Mac an Chuill. The dog barks happily, glad to see his master moving again and then promptly plops his large head into Yukiko's lap, eyes pleading for more ear scratches. The actions draw a soft laugh from Diarmuid.]
Sorry about that. He is so shameless, but I am lucky to have him. You are right on that. I wouldn't be here right now without him. It's why I brought him along. He is my responsibility, yes, but he was also one of my very valuable partners when I first lived. I knew he would be able to watch out for me...without asking questions that I was not ready to answer.
[That had been what his whole disappearing act had been about after all. Giving him time to figure out himself and how he felt about what had just happened.]
H-have you talked to my son yet?
no subject
[Mac will definitely get all of those ear scratches. Yukiko's a dog person, and it's helping her calm down.]
Don't apologize for him! There's no need to. He's a sweetheart. I'm glad he was looking out for you. I'm sure he thinks you're his responsibility, too.
[Yukiko nods.]
That's one of the first things I did after I woke up. I couldn't not. I can't say it was the easiest conversation we've ever had, but we're okay. I'm not turning my back on him.
no subject
I am sure he does. He probably wishes to make up for abandoning me when he did back during my first life. I never blamed him for it, though. Few, man or beast, are brave enough to face down a monstrous mad boar.
[He smiles fondly at the hound before his expression grows more serious.]
I am glad to hear that. I shouldn't have just disappeared on him like I did, but I needed some time to think. I am glad he found me a few days ago, though. If nothing else, I was able to tell him that me needing to be away from everyone wasn't because of him. You know how he is.
no subject
[She frowns, thinking just a little.]
I do. I wish I could convince him none of this was his fault. I still don't think I've gotten that through to him completely, and I don't know if I can.
I can't blame you for needing the time to think, either. I think we all did, though I haven't exactly taken as much of it as I could. I kind of go into overdrive trying to reassure everyone else.
no subject
[Diarmuid sighs, expression suddenly very tired.]
I may not be very good for advice right now, but if you need to talk...I will be glad to listen, so that you can take that time for yourself. You need to Yukiko, before you break down completely.
no subject
[She knows. She's had a lot to take in since she's been back. Holding all of that in isn't good.]
...it's naive of me to think there's some magic fix to all of this. I know it's naive, but I think some part of me wanted to be able to just jump back in here and fix things for everyone. I can't believe I thought like that.
It's just - with everyone from home gone, it feels like I have to find some way to make it happen. It's unrealistic, I know that, but I...
[Yukiko sighs, looking down and away.]
...I don't want them to be alone like I was.
no subject
[Diarmuid gives her a sad smile, reaching out with his good arm to lightly squeeze her shoulder.]
I am the last person to fault another for being naive. I was the one who deep down thought there might be some way of making even someone as terrible as Sephiroth understand what he was doing was wrong. Look where that got us...
[He sighs, shutting his eyes for a moment, before speaking again.]
There is nothing wrong with being naive and hopeful. We just can't let it blind us. Otherwise, all those things we are fighting for will just go up in smoke. No one will be saved. Nothing will be fixed. Everyone will be alone...
no subject
[Yukiko nods, but she still looks troubled.]
There are some people out there...I don't know if it's that they can't be better people, they just don't want to be, or some combination of both. Whatever it is, they're past saving. There's...maybe there is some way to get to them, but I don't know what that is.
[After a few minutes of silence, she nods again. She's not completely better, but she seems brighter.]
Yeah, you're right. There's a balance, and I need to find it again.f
no subject
[Diarmuid falls quiet for several moments before looking up at her.]
Do...you think it's bad to expect the best out of people? To always believe they can be what they want to be no matter how little faith they have in themselves?
[The conversation he had with Waver still weighs heavily on Diarmuid's mind. Does he really hurt people by expecting too much of them? Can a person really expect too much of someone?]
no subject
I don't think that's a bad thing, to expect the best from people. I think it would be worse to stop believing in people. It doesn't mean wishing they were perfect. It just means believing they can - well, like you said, be what they want to be.
no subject
[Well, no one but himself maybe.]
I just don't want them to sell themselves short. Yet...I've been told I'm putting them on pedestals and expecting too much and that hurts them. I...don't understand that and I'm trying very hard to. I don't want to hurt anyone. Just encourage them.
[The frustration Diarmuid's feeling about this is very clear on his face.]
no subject
I've been in that position - actually, it was part of what made my Shadow come out. I was putting my best friend on a pedestal, and I didn't recognize that I was doing it. I was expecting Chie to somehow rescue me from a situation I didn't want to be in, regarding my family and their expectations of me.
I wanted to deny that I'd ever do that, and that I was feeling weak enough that I needed to do it.
[She hums a bit.]
...but I don't know that I can see that in you. Respecting someone and wanting the best from them isn't the same as putting them on a pedestal.
no subject
He sighs, reaching up carefully to rub at his face, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to direct that away from you. I was suppose to be listening to you..."
no subject
Yukiko smiles, this time, and she looks a lot less tense than she had before.
"It's okay. I'm feeling better. I'll be all right."
no subject
"I...need someone who I can entrust with a person very important to me. I have to finish working out a few things on my own and I can't watch him or talk to him as much as I want to right now. I know I probably don't have to ask this, but..." he looks up at her with a serious look in his eyes, "...will you watch over Ryoji for me for a while? Just a little while so that I can pull myself together enough to give him the father he needs and deserves."
no subject
Yukiko's smile gets a little bit brighter at that, and she nods again. She's a lot more steady than she had been.
"You know you never need to ask me to look out for Ryoji, Diarmuid." She laughs just a little bit. "Don't expect me to start acting like his mother, because that would just be weird, but of course I'll be there."
no subject
He pauses a moment, seeming to contemplate something before shaking his head and laughing again, "Though in that case, I think that makes me the mother and Waver the father. Don't ask... It's a long story."
no subject
Yukiko smiles warmly.
"You know that's just an invitation to ask, but I'll hold off."
no subject
Yep...someone's ignoring her comment on the invitation to ask...