towerofanimus | She wasn't evading you

Entry tags:

She wasn't evading you

Characters: Nesir and Sephiroth
Setting: Sephiroth's room
Format: any
Summary: Sephiroth sent Nesir a Note so Nesir answers it.
Warnings:

Nesir had realised Ganondorf was gone mostly by accident. Days often went by when she didn't see him, and when he wanted to talk to her he usually found her quite easily. She had been preoccupied, with the explosions and the fact that twice she realised that a few hours had passed, even though she couldn't remember sleeping or otherwise missing time.

Those who had gone to help power the tower were back now, and they didn't seem to have any obvious affects, so perhaps it had gone as well as Riki had promised.

She had been walking through the dormitory halls when she had seen Ganondorf's room, and the lack of his name on the plaque outside. She had double checked in the graveyard and indeed there was a grave. He had gone...

It shocked her, even though people disappearing was a normal occurrence here, but Ganondorf... he was powerful. He had been one of the first people she had met and it seemed unthinkable that he was just... not here anymore.

The note came as a surprise though she should have expected it. She picked up her bow and her daggers and made her way up to Sephiroth's room.

Just before she knocked her eyes skimmed across the plaque and she blinked. Hidetoshi... he had been in this room and now his name was gone too.

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She opened her mouth to tell him that of course she had the will to survive, she could survive anything.

But his next words made her pause, retain a sense of self? Nesir barely had a sense of self to begin with and as much as she would like to deny it she knew it to be true. She was a nameless soul pledged to the god of darkness.

She just glared at him and didn't answer.

"It's not such an easy question to answer, if you look beneath the surface of it."

Sephiroth continued where Nesir remained glaring at him in silence. Indeed, he imagined a lot of people would jump at him questioning their will to survive. But this was an altogether less physical sort of survival, too many think only within the box of their own preserved state in the Tower.

"I survived, near dissolved into a thriving sea of other souls. I kept it together enough to will for myself to influence the physical realm again. Yet this place keeps me contained."

Nesir frowned, dissolved into a sea of souls... "You do be wanting to be like that again? No contained on one planet or in a body?"

"Sometimes it is necessary to retreat into that place where all life comes from."

Even if, it's clear from the slight sneer which appeared at either side of his nose Sephiroth would prefer not to have to go through that again. It had been the hardest thing he had done, not to succumb for the second time to the Lifestream back on his World.

But this World, would be new to him-

Nesir frowned but nodded she understood that sometimes things were necessary even if they were not desirable.

"But you do no be wanting to be doing it again, right?"

"It's not a case of wanting to, more of a case of having to."

He met her frown with one of his own, it brought his eyebrows together at the top of his nose.

"I don't have much of a choice, not having a real body of my own."

"You do be having no faith in finding your real body?" She asked him wrinkling her nose.

"Everything on my own Planet is dead."

He dropped his gaze to the floor, surely she knew this as well as anyone but it still didn't hurt any less for him to say it out loud.

She nodded, "Everything everywhere do be being dead, but there do be being those who do be believing we could be finding or restoring our own bodies."

"I did hear that school of thought. It relies very much on the premise that one had a body that they were pulled from"

By which, of course, Sephiroth means that he did not. He kept his gaze on the floor for a beat before taking a breath to continue with.

"I had to give up the last remains of the last pssible physical form I might have had, shortly before I woke up here."

"Oh." She nodded, understanding. "Then it do be being your only option." She understood choices like that, of course. Choices that weren't choices at all.

"I do be hoping you do be surviving it again."

"My original form was lost several years before all of this."

It hadn't even decayed naturally, either, as merged with Jenova it had become upon his first inundation to the Lifestream. Sephiroth was certain that, considering the clear fact that the Lifestream was dead on his Planet now, so any minute trace of his biology was also gone for good.

He bit hard on the flesh to the inside of the corner of his mouth while keeping his gaze solidly on the floor but it did little to stop the rising wave of a crippling realization that he purposefully spent little time thinking about. Mother was gone, completely and utterly. That wave didn't know how to be sad about it, and so only anger threatened to ignite.

How dare she do this to His World.

Nesir's presence had become almost a side-thought until his gaze found her feet again and stared at them, as if they could be a focal point for the hatred he so readily felt, as he had to force himself to calm down.

"I will survive it." Sephiroth said defiantly, even if he really didn't know for sure. It was a different dimension entirely, after all. "As I said, there isn't another choice."

Nesir stared at him, waiting for whatever had gotten over to him to fade and then nodded. There wasn't much to say to that. She thought he would survive, if he had survived before. She guessed it was the difference between him and her. That she would not be able to keep herself in such a situation.

Eventually within the next few moments Sephiroth dared to raise his gaze back to Nesir's face. There was something still oddly distant in his expression, but for the most part he was able to school it back into oblivion.

It struck him that, perhaps he had touched on a lot of things with Nesir that he hadn't felt even remotely obliged to for anyone else. He considered the fact that this might have something to do with the fact that Ganondorf was now gone. In the end Sephiroth drew a deep breath and tries to revisit that subject now.

"It's going to be odd for a while."

Nesir looked over at the empty space that had been left by Hidetoshi, ruined by Sephiroth and looking nothing as neat as it had been when Hidetoshi himself had lived there.

"It will be being." She looked back at Sephiroth, "Have you even been talking to any of the others yet?"

He would tell himself that he needed to find if Hidetoshi had left anything of use behind, never mind the fact that trashing that part of the Dormitory room in the process had helped him to express an easier released notion - frustration. It wouldn't do it any good to be releasing his anger on other residents, nor his supervisor either.

"I have spoken to Ocelot only. She sent me a mail about Ganondorf's departure."

There were more words hanging off the end of that sentence but Sephiroth didn't want to speak them, about how he wouldn't know who else he needed to even talk to about it. The Evil Alliance had been dwindling anyway.

Nesir nodded, Ocelot was probably one of the few people Nesir at all trusted here. "What did she be saying?" She had no qualms asking, after all sharing information was the most basic way of working together.

"She agreed with me, to a certain extent."

About Ganondorf and the lacking state of the alliance, about Pandora and the rise of those created by the Tower to oppose the Administration. But not about how all of this might end.

They had also spoken of Nesir herself.

"She has a fondness for you."

Nesir nodded with a frown, thinking she should talk to Ocelot too, to determine just what parts they had agreed on.

She blinked at the last, "She do be?"

"I imagine you'll find a suitable companion in her company at least."

-Now that Ganondorf was gone. Sephiroth wasn't prepared to extend his wing out around Nesir in that capacity. It wouldn't feel right for him to pretend to. Not when his Destiny was so very singular, despite how Nesir had proven herself as an exception to the pestilence that was humanity.

Perhaps not completely an exception, but she was more tolerable than most.

Nesir shrugged, "I might be being." Definitely needed to talk to the other woman though. "And do she be being someone you could be working with?"

Ocelot was human as well after all.

Ocelot was human, yet Sephiroth had found an odd sort of kinship in the older woman as well. In their final infiltration, he had offered to assist her. Had done so without so much of a scowl, either - it had needed to be done.

"I have worked well with her so far. Though-" He quirked an eyebrow slightly. Ocelot kept her fingers in many different persuasions, of this Sephiroth had no doubt. Not that he trusted much of anyone at all, he had even less reason to trust Ocelot.

"Good." Nesir grinned, "That do be being a start."

Not trust, but cooperation. It was as good a start as any.

A start. To what - was his next thought but Sephiroth made sure he didn't actually phrase this question.

Instead he eyed her grin as if it might be looking to insult him, or keeping something from him.

"-I still don't trust her not to stick a dagger in my back."

"Good, you should no be." She nodded, he was learning, slowly she thought. She hoped.

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