towerofanimus | I would rather Fly than Fall...

Entry tags:

I would rather Fly than Fall...

Characters: Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (

oathshackledbird) and open to anyone who wants to run into him! (Closed prompt at the end for Waver Velvet,

fionnuisce. Close prompt now added for Reno,

midgarhorizon , and Shion,

savedbyasong !)
Setting: Room 2-16, the hallways, Room 2-04, and anywhere on the Dorm Levels/Safe floors of the Tower.
Format: Starting in prose, pick your poison after that!
Summary: Log to cover several things including the 'Tower of Jenova' event, dating from the 14th to the 23rd. (A few backdated prompts will likely be added later and, depending on the Mod Event which lasts from the 23rd to the 27th, prompts for it may be added as well.) After denying for a few days anything is wrong, Diarmuid gives in and goes looking for Waver in hopes that the magus can help cure whatever is making him feel so sick. Cue camp out/sleepover in room 2-04 with possible feverish wanderings from time to time. My apologies in advance to the other occupants of 2-04...
Warnings: Diarmuid's cap for the event is LI2, which means he will be very sick and sporting a rash after a while. While he will have mood dips and periods of negativity throughout the event, he won't be having any of the other, more severe symptoms associated with the higher levels and won't be dying. The negative emotions that are mentioned in the prompts will be less prominent during the early part of the event and get stronger as the event goes on. Specific Warnings for negative emotions, mentions of death/death wishes, things related to the flu/respiratory infections/fever, and potential mild violence and mild mentions of blood. If Diarmuid runs into any of those with higher infection levels, their threads will be marked with that character's level of infection (LI) should the thread progress to anything besides them talking. Threads with characters that have higher infection levels should be assumed to have warnings similar to those in the open mingle including mentions of body modification, violence, blood, and injury.
Note: I would like to request that if your character knows or suspects that Sephiroth is behind the illness going around, that they not say anything about that to Diarmuid at this time. I am an evil mun and am making him wait until after the event at least to find out--if he even does then. ~~But he was just so sure Sephiroth was up to something...~~ Thanks guys!

The Gym, 3-7 in the morning (Closed to Reno and Shion):

This meeting is long overdue. Even though the last time Diarmuid talked to Shion the boy seemed to have made great steps in better controlling his emotions and berserk outbreaks, the meeting is still necessary. So many times people discover things about themselves in this place only to lose that new information because of something happening. Diarmuid wants to make sure the new discoveries Shion has made aren't lost like that. Not when they have done so much to help the boy stabilize himself.

While he waits, Diarmuid pulls out his swords and starts doing a few simple practice strikes with them. It won't be long until Reno and Shion arrive, but it's hard for him to sit still in the gym. Especially considering he's in a pretty good mood. The ring on his finger catches his eye for a moment and his smile widens.

Okay, a really good mood...

Room 2-16, 3-14 in the morning:

As hard as he is trying to deny it, when Diarmuid wakes up feeling like he is on fire and being smothered at the same time, he can't keep doing it any longer. Somehow, someway, he is sick and not just slightly sick. Very sick. The first few days he had ignored it figuring it to be a product of his working himself too hard, the room switches, or even a bit of a recurrence of the exhaustion that had plagued him after helping to recharge the Tower...

Then Grainne had arrived and everything had just gotten worse. Literally. It's almost as if his emotional uncertainty has somehow been feeding whatever is wrong with him. He doesn't blame her at all, but it is very clear he his condition is going downhill. Today is only proof positive of that.

His thoughts drift to cursing Jason because this reminds him too much of the sickness he had heard went around the December before he arrived. Of course, it can't be Jason this time because he is dead, but might someone else have set it off instead? If the response Waver had gotten to his request is any indication, Zo is in charge this month as normal. He would never do something like this. Is Ruana still playing games behind the scenes?

The thought makes him shiver...or that just might be chills from the fever. Diarmuid tries to pull himself from the bed, but ends up collapsing instead, breaking into a fit of shivers hard enough that his vision swims and he realizes he can't just stay here. He needs to find a healer. He needs to find Waver...

To be honest, he is kind of surprised Waver hasn't found him already, but he has kept distant on the bond lately not wanting to drain his partner more than necessary. That and with Grainne arriving, Diarmuid would be lying if he didn't say he is afraid of what he might find there...or not find there as the case may be.

He tries to rise again and finally manages to get to his feet. After swaying for a moment, he stumbles to the door and into the hallway. Here's hoping Waver is actually in his room and not at the Laboratory for once. Diarmuid's not so sure he will make it that far...

Dorm hallways, 2nd Floor, 3-14 in the morning:

Everything is spinning and it's starting to make Diarmuid sick to his stomach. He's never felt this bad before, not even when he was alive. Sickness, just had avoided him. Maybe he had been lucky or maybe his father had been watching out for him. In ether event, he's not used to feeling like this. His arms wrap around his waist and he takes a deep breath trying to force himself to walk in a straight line.

It's not going so well. Hopefully, he won't run into anyone too hard...

Room 2-04, anytime on 3-14 to 3-23:

If he had more energy or will Diarmuid would probably be tossing and turning, but as it is he is just laying in Waver's bed feeling guilty. They keep trying to heal him and while it seems like it works for a while, he always gets worse again. He supposes he should be glad he's not hallucinating. That had been part of Jason's virus, hadn't it? Or...maybe he is and he just doesn't realize it. Is his brain trying to tell him just how much of a burden he is on everyone? Is that why the healing only ever holds for a while?

Dorm hallways/Safe Tower floors anytime on 3-14 to 3-23:

He slips away sometimes when they aren't watching close enough or think he's asleep. Diarmuid can't help it. As tired as he is, his mind just tells him to run and get away from them so that he's not bothering them anymore. It doesn't help that the urge grows stronger as time passes. How long until they stop leaving him alone? How long until he runs out of chances to free them from the burden he's creating?

Funny, though, he can't ever bring himself to go onto any of the really dangerous floors. That would take care of things pretty quickly, wouldn't it? So, why can't he?

Room 2-04, 3-23 Kill Switch Activation (Closed to Waver):

Perhaps the hallucinations have finally found him after all, because at the moment it feels like something is strangling him...but not strangling him in the normal manner. Instead, its like someone has wrapped their hands around his very core, pulling and crushing it. Trying to rip it away from him. The feeling grows stronger, causing a small frightened sound to slip from his lips. He's not sure what he should do. Should he pull away from Waver to make sure this doesn't affect him too? Should he reach out for him and use the strength his knows his partner will provide to help fight whatever this is?

Should he let go and just stop being a burden?

Diarmuid's exhausted mind is still pondering all this when a the pull suddenly becomes a sharp, searing yank. This time he cannot help but cry out both in pain and fear. As he does, his heart and brain finally slam into agreement. No more dancing around a decision he made long ago. No more waiting for him to consciously realize what he has already unconsciously figured out. He opens the bond and reaches out for Waver just as hard and as desperately as he can...

Help me! Please... I don't want to leave you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...it's alright, Diarmuid.

[He squeezed the knight's hand again, pushing down the sudden feeling of unease. What if that had nearly been the case? He'd never heard of such a situation before, but there was a first time for everything.]

You're not going anywhere I can't follow. I won't allow it. [Everyone else had left without warning. Why would that change now? There was no evidence or reason for circumstances to change like that.]

Are you hurt?

[Diarmuid smiles, giving Waver's hand as hard a squeeze back at he can. It's comforting to hear him say that. So comforting.]

I'm not hurt that I can tell, just exhausted and low on energy like I never have been before. I tried to pull back on what I am taking a little, but my body corrected the amount as soon as I stopped focusing on it. My levels are so low it's not listening to my will at all. It's just taking what it needs to survive.

[But apparently it's working since his voice is slowly getting stronger.]

Do you have any food in the room by chance? Eating might help...

I can spare it for now. If it becomes a concern, we'll figure something out.

[Waver shook his head with a small smirk.] Please, we're lucky if I even remember to eat. As far as I know, there's nothing here--do you want me to go get something?

[Diarmuid seems to think on this for a few moments before shaking his head. After all that has happened recently, he really doesn't want to be alone.

His hand tightens around Waver's.]

Stay. I want you with me right now. I've missed you.

[He doesn't ask why Waver's not been at his bedside more. Deep down, he can guess the reason why.]

I'm- [Uneasily, he glanced away. Waver wanted to apologize for running off and hiding in the laboratory, but what else could he have done? There wasn't any place left for him with Grainne in the Tower; he had no right to interfere in what seemed the obvious conclusion.]

[This wasn't the time to discuss the matter, not with Diarmuid in this condition. They could save the inevitable for later.] ...I won't leave.

But...you're already leaving me.

[Even if the bond between them wasn't so open at the moment, Diarmuid has become good at sensing when Waver is distancing himself. Add in that he can guess exactly why...

Exhausted as he might be, there is no way Diarmuid can let this go.]

I don't want her. I want you.

This isn't the time fo-...

[Waver stopped midsentence, registering what he'd just heard.]

...What? No. That's ridiculous, this--you love her. I'm not stupid, I know you do, and I know you're still important to her. You're just going to ignore your chance to have that actually be real this time?

[At first, Diarmuid doesn't reply. This isn't because he is gathering his thoughts. It's because he's gather his strength instead. In the end, he doesn't know if he is strong enough to do it or not, but he gives a sudden pull on Waver's hand, hoping to pull the man close to him, or perhaps, even part way onto the bed.]

I. Want. You. I. Love. You. What she and I had is gone. She went so far as to sever our marriage the first time we met. I think that makes it very clear where I stand with her.

I will not give you up for anyone. Especially not someone who doesn't want me.

Wait--

[It was enough to throw Waver off balance, the lecturer having ended up leaning halfway over Diarmuid once he'd stopped himself falling entirely. Instead of straightening out, he stared in disbelieving silence for what must have been half a minute.]

But she...she told me that she loved you. After everything, you're really j-just going to-...?! Have you completely lost it?!

Should I be asking you the same thing?

[Diarmuid gives Waver a hard look.]

Why are you so convinced I will throw you away? After all the promises I have made... After all the oaths I have sworn... You know I don't do that kind of thing lightly!

[Somewhere, he finds the strength to reach out and lightly brush his knuckles over Waver's cheek.]

She has made it very clear that she and I are the past and that is how she wants it to stay. Besides, have I not told you that my love for you is different compared to my love for her? She is someone I cared for and respected, guarded and supported. You...are all those things and the other half of my soul. The two kinds of love...cannot even be compared for what I feel for you dwarfs what I feel for her to the point it cannot even be seen.

Because I...I'm not...

[Waver shook his head quickly, unable to decide just how that sentence should have ended.]

Forget it, just...don't strain yourself. We can talk about this when you're not in such a miserable condition.

Oh...Mo Stór. Someday, I will make you understand and believe just how much I love you...

[Diarmuid sighs, reaching up to gentle pull Waver toward him. He'd like to get his partner to settle into the bed next to him, but he's not going to force it if Waver doesn't want to.]

Please... I need you to stay close to me. There is something going on and...I can't defend myself right now. Maybe in a few hours, but...

[He is getting stronger, but at the moment, he's all but helpless. In addition, now that he's not panicking and starting to notice what is going on around them--the power being off for one thing--Diarmuid realizes whatever 'attacked' him probably wasn't just targeting him alone.]

I know. [Waver shifted to lie down next to Diarmuid when given the chance, arms settling around his shoulders.] Don't worry so much--I'll protect you.

But I still don't understand...what happened exactly?

I wish I knew. My brother says I'm not the only one who was sick and Ken...

[Diarmuid shivers and curls closer to Waver.]

I-I don't know if he has the same thing as me, b-but...

...This doesn't make sense. I'd believe Ruana to pull something like this, but she's not in control right now. Either things are going more wrong than usual, or someone else is responsible for this.

[And in the latter case, someone was going to get punched in the mouth.]

What happened to Ken?

Zo...wouldn't do this... Do you think Ruana is still awake and working behind the scenes all the time now?

[It's a frighting thought and one Diarmuid really doesn't want to think on too hard right now. Of course, talking about Ken isn't going to be much better.]

He was...changed. My brother said he was just sick like me with a rash, but when I ran into him...

[Diarmuid shivers again.]

He had a f-fin and spines g-growing out of him. And was angry...so angry...

I don't think so. I feel like we would know if she was--that it would be more obvious than this.

[Frowning, Waver ran a hand through Diarmuid's hair as he thought things over.]

Not your ordinary everyday illness then, clearly. Even so I hesitate to assume the administrators to be responsible at all.

Jason made everyone sick the December before I came here. I wouldn't put it passed him, but...he's gone now.

[Diarmuid frowns as he tries to will his tired mind into thinking properly.]

If not the Administrators, then who? Ganondorf is gone. I don't know of anyone else with this kind of power besides him...

...Let's worry about that later.

[Waver was beginning to have a suspicion of his own now that Ganondorf's name had been brought into it, but said nothing on the matter. Whatever was going on, hopefully it could at least wait a little longer.]

You should be more concerned with yourself first.

[Normally, Diarmuid would joke about Waver's words. Him worry about himself? Never...

There is no joking this time. Instead, Diarmuid's arms just tighten around his partner. When he speaks, his voice is soft and frightened.]

Am I going to end up like Ken?

[Mutated? Lashing out at anyone and everyone who tries to help him?]

I don't know.

[Blind attempts at comfort would help neither of them, so Waver spoke honestly.]

Whatever all of this might be, it's something I don't understand. I can't possibly predict what might happen.

Of course...you should work on some of those prediction spells when you have the time...

[The joke is weak and Diarmuid buries his head against Waver's shoulder instead of laughing.]

I don't know if it is a good thing or not that I actually feel a little better. Does it mean that pull was the end or it or just the beginning?

With any luck, that was the worst of it. But I doubt there will be any way to tell right away, so you'll have to let me know if you start feeling ill or anything.

[Waver himself was starting to look a little pale. He didn't have a lot of spare magical energy on a good day, and the drain on him now was starting to show.]

[Diarmuid nods into Waver's shoulder, not really feeling up to speaking at the moment. That, and he is distracted. He doesn't have to see Waver's face to tell the magus is getting tired. It's pretty obvious from the way the energy flowing between them is fluctuating. It takes a bit, but after a few tries, Diarmuid manages to finally get his body to allow him to draw less energy from Waver.]

It's letting me pull back... Is that better?

You worry too much. Take whatever you have to, I'll manage one way or another.

[Prana deprivation wasn't the sort of thing to toy around with. It was very much like bleeding to death, in a more metaphysical sense. But if it was for the sake of supporting Diarmuid's existence, Waver could accept risking his own health for now.]

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