towerofanimus | ITP: Return

Entry tags:

ITP: Return

Characters: Arturia, open
Setting: Room 1-15,
Format: Will match!
Summary: Arturia returns to the tower to find her trunk empty. This upsets her more than she realized it would.
Warnings: None yet.

[A: Dorms; Room 1-15]
It was the paralysis that shocked her the most. It was much shorter than had become normal for one. For another, Arturia couldn't remember doing anything to warrant death. She'd simply gone to bed the previous night, that was all. Had the Tower decided to rearrange itself again in the wake of Ruana taking control?

Hot tears pricked at her eyes and she tried to scrub them away before they fell. No, she couldn't cry. Not here. Not now. Not like this. Why should she be upset? All she'd had in the trunk were some clothes, a few letters sent between her and Diarmuid, and the maps she'd worked on. Meaningless things, really.

Except hadn't she always believed someone's room reflected who they were? With the sharing of quarters in this tower, you couldn't exert your presence so much and Arturia took to seeing what was in a person's trunk as being more reflective of them as a person. She had absolutely nothing to call her own except for what she gained here and now it was all gone. Had it been thrown out? Had someone taken her things?

Taking a deep and shaky breath, she closed the trunk and stood. If she couldn't reign in her emotions, she'd need to first check a terminal for how long it had been. Then find someplace private to get these emotions out.

[B: Floor 73; Snowy Ruins]
This wasn't one of the floors she often frequented. The snow and ruins reminded her too much of days long past, but the knot in her heart drew her here and she found a corridor shielded from the wind in which she could sit down.

Why was this so upsetting? Arturia had gone possibly centuries witnessing the horrors of humanity and putting an end to them regardless of whether the person was at fault or not. Yes, this Tower was her first taste of freedom she'd had in a long time. A limited freedom, true, a freedom that was not truly free, but she could walk on her own here, talk, truly think for herself. She could build a life here--had built a life here. All things she should be glad for even if their time was running out.

A box of bits and pieces being gone shouldn't upset her so much. Her stomach shouldn't be twisting so, her throat so tight she could hardly breathe, and her eyes stinging so much she could hardly see. It was a struggle just to keep herself together to find a secluded place, but once she did, she let herself sink to the ground and buried her face in her hands.

Composure. Strength. She had to be strong. She may no longer be a king, but she was a protector at her core. Arturia could not let anyone see her upset. Not over something as trivial as bits of paper and flowers and a set of clothes. Yet here she was, sobs breaking from her throat, her shoulders shaking as she tried to keep herself quiet but found herself unable to. Hopefully if she got this out of the way, she could be calm enough to find out the things she missed in the last month. Right now, the blonde needed to get herself to calm down before anyone found her.

Of course, she would not be anywhere near so lucky.

[C: Various]
Once she regained her composure, she went searching out those she knew, determination in her step as she marched through the halls. There were only two months left--less than that. Arturia had wasted enough time on tears, she had to find out what happened in the time she couldn't remember.

"Excuse me!" she called to the next face she saw, "What have I missed in this last month?"

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"Zelda?" Arturia asks when she hears that voice, startled. Quickly, she tries to scrub the tears from her face and stands. While Arturia knows Zelda would not think less of her nor ill of her for such a display of emotion, she knows it likely has been some time since the princess saw her. The last thing Zelda should see after so long is tears.

Stealing herself against the cold--the cloak Enoch gave her was gone, too--she left her hiding place to see her friend, the woman she pledged to help rule her kingdom.

... No way.

"Arturia...?!" Something frantic enters her tone then, a desperation she hasn't allowed herself to show the myriad of old faces that have suddenly reappeared into her life. They were old wounds, dull aches that surfaced only when actively reminded of them. But Arturia's disappearance is still fresh enough to sting, to feel the emptiness of something missing at any hour.

So when she hears that voice once again, she whirls around, following it like a lifeline, and well... hopefully Arturia is ready to catch an armful of princess, because Zelda is going to be making like a barnacle upon her person when she finally finds her again.

She isn't ready for it, but she catches her easily enough. If she nearly falls over she won't make a fuss about it. Arturia is still shocked anyone would be so happy to see her, yet she hugs the woman back and presses a face to her warm shoulder.

"I apologize for the delay. I am back now."

"I was so worried..."

If Zo lost his grip on Arturia, would their plan to bring her to Hyrule even work? She tried not to think about it, to remain optimistic, but such thoughts are difficult to silence, especially as the countdown grows ever shorter. After she is sufficiently reassured that Arturia is truly there, she pulls away just enough to see her face, and perhaps she'll take comfort in the fact that Zelda's eyes are rather watery themselves when she asks:

"Are you all right? I heard what sounded like crying..."

"Ah!" She drew back enough, a hand going to her eyes in case they were still wet. The redness she could not hide from Zelda, but it wouldn't do if there were still tears there. This should be a happy reunion, not one filled with sorrow even if time grows short.

"I am well. I was upset over childish matters and needed a moment so it would not become a distraction, nothing more."

"Are you certain?" Zelda looks skeptical, her lips pursing into a slight frown. "You know you can talk to me about anything, regardless of how childish you might think it is."

"I...." Arturia hesitated for a moment. Zelda did not disrespect her or look down on her for her tears before. Zelda was one of the few people not from some version of her world she opened up to. The only other person had been Veigar and....

....her heart clenched in her chest at the thought of Veigar.

"My trunk was empty when I returned this time. At least, I assume I returned. The last I remember is falling asleep before waking once more."

"... Your name disappeared from your door about a month ago," she explains with a certain amount of heaviness to her words. Arturia had indeed left for a time, and it's clear it affected the Princess quite deeply.

The reason why Arturia's trunk would be empty doesn't come to her immediately, but when it does, the reason why it would reduce the strong, brave former king to sobbing follows quickly after.

"Then, everything from the past year is..." Gone. She can't imagine she would take it well, either. "I am so sorry, Arturia."

All the little things she had collected over the last year, the maps she put such hard work into even when they slowly became redundant, the gifts she'd been given from others, the proof of the life she had gained for herself here: all gone. The very last thing she had left for herself aside from the wretched dress she wore and the sword that had followed her when it should not be able to.

"It will be all right. I simply needed a moment to indulge so I could focus. Come, let's go where it's warmer and you can catch me up on all I have missed."

It was cold and while Arturia could handle it, she did not think Zelda could last for much longer. She rested a hand on Zelda's arm and began to guide her to the stairs.

Zelda seems... somewhat unsatisfied with Arturia's quickness to change the subject, though she does follow her lead out of the ruined castle. It's a compromise, however, as she shifts her arm to take Arturia's guiding hand into her own as they walk, holding onto it with a gentle but firm grip as she asks:

"You are certain you have indulged enough?"

She understands the need to be strong for others, to not allow perceived weakness to be seen, and she wants to make sure her interruption won't cause Arturia further grief later on.

Arturia squeezes Zelda's hand, quiet for a moment as she thinks it over. Mostly she feels weary, like a weight is settled on her and it's very hard not to simply collapse where she stands even if she is fine physically. Cold, yes, but fine. Yet that weariness is the main enemy she fights because what use would she be if she let the timer run out lazing in bed all day?

"If I'm honest: I do not know." Yet she managed a very tired smile. "But I do find myself very tired of crying."

So very tired of crying and second guessing herself. So very tired of worrying. Just so very tired as she had been since the day oh so long ago it feels that she arrived here and marveled at the ability to move under her own will once more.

"Thank you. For your friendship. It.... means a lot." She squeezed Zelda's hand in hers and for once did not feel as if she could betray her at any moment, like she did to Shirou and her Kingdom and herself once upon a time. It's a nice feeling to have, even if Arturia knows it won't last very long.

She can understand that weariness well. Perhaps not to the same extent as Arturia, with her kingship and Counter Guardianhood, but seven years on the run followed by two and a half trapped within the Tower's walls have aged her far more than a girl of nineteen has any right to be.

So the tired smile is returned, as is the assuring squeeze of their hands.

"I could say the same for you."

In a place where death means so very little, to be alone again has become her greatest fear. And with Arturia around, that fear is lessened, even if it's only because of a fool's hope.

Anyone who had spent this much time within the Tower alone would be weary by now. How any managed to keep their spirits up, Arturia didn't know. The only reason she didn't simply lay down to wait out the end was the woman beside her and the thought of those trapped on their dead and dying worlds being used to continue powering this forsaken place.

"Then know it's mutual and for as long as we are able to be on the same world, I will stay by your side, supporting and guarding you."

Her smile grew wider.

"It's nice, for once, to be able to choose who I will be serving, and how."

The most beautiful and talented minstrel in all the worlds could not make words sound as sweet to her ears as those. She is almost overcome with the urge to cry, but she restrains herself. No more tears are needed here, no matter if they are joyful or sad.

"I could not possibly ask for more," she says softly, an undercurrent of wonderment still present in her voice even after all they've gone through together. "... It is difficult to be entirely ungrateful to this place, when it has given us such opportunities. And... I am so deeply honored you have chosen me."

Out of all the people in all the worlds, Arturia chose her. And the skies will fall before she stops being awed by that fact.

"It's hard for me as well. For the first time in centuries I have some modicum of freedom: Freedom to move about, freedom to speak, freedom to do what I wish. I even wrote a thank you letter to Ruana several months back about it. As awful as this place is, I am grateful to it for having the opportunity simply to act for myself once more."

It was strange how easily she could speak of her time as a Counter Guardian to Zelda. Perhaps because she was outside the scope of the Holy Grail War, or perhaps because the princess had a natural gift for bringing out the best in people.

Arturia knew, with her help or not, Zelda would be a great Queen because of it. Whether or not she could accompany her to Hyrule, Arturia would spend the rest of her days content in knowing Zelda would do her kingdom well and make it thrive once more.

Zelda the person, however, she desperately hoped she could accompany, if only so she would not be so lonely in bearing the weight of the crown.

... She doesn't know if she'd go so far as to thank Ruana, but then, she wasn't a slave to a vague cosmic entity's will like Arturia was. It's a completely different level of gratitude, and knowing what she does, Zelda won't fault her for it.

Doesn't mean she has to like it, exactly. She shakes off the chill in more ways than one as they exit the snowy floor, feeling a renewed sense of determination.

"And surely we will find a way for you to keep your freedom. When we first met her, Aria said her mission was to give us options, after all."

And that is going to be an option, if Zelda has anything to say about it.

"For now, my greatest concern is surviving beyond the countdown in some way. We cannot find our freedom or revive the worlds if we cannot guarantee our survival."

Or worse, Ruana would use those trapped on their dead worlds as a means to power this place. Arturia shuddered to think on what, exactly, would happen to them, but it had never been far from her mind.

Restoring the worlds may very well be their chance at survival, she thinks, though she doesn't say as much. Aria said Dax's plan was to give them options, including staying in the Tower once the troublesome 'obstacles' were removed, so...

"I believe Zo is firmly on our side, now. That is one card in our favor, at least."

A fairly valuable card, at that, if what Dax predicted about Zo's abilities is true.

"A very much needed card, though I am not surprised. The boy is in a situation where he could not ignore or delude himself about Ruana's deeds for much longer."

He had to grow up, much as it pained her to say it. Zo had to grow up and recognize not all was well within the Tower, his little world. Hopefully he would be able to take a more active role soon, but Arturia would not blame him for being afraid. He was a child after all and Ruana had been his closest person for his entire life.

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ITP: Return

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