towerofanimus | ❝trying to talk my way out of this❞

Entry tags:

❝trying to talk my way out of this❞

Characters: Willow and whoever. OPEN.
Setting: Sixth floor (the forest).
Format: I slightly prefer action over prose, but I'll match whatever you want to do!
Summary: Willow's been doing a lot of magic lately, and tries to meditate to help manage it. Unfortunately she picks the worst place possible. Run into her in A or B, just let me know which one in the subject!
Warnings: Grief. Addiction recovery.

A.

[Since she got here, she's been doing magic almost nonstop. Well, not really, but it feels that way. Casual, advanced, ritual and on the fly-- she's even been teaching it, a little. Willow desperately needs to meditate and feel the Earth beneath her before it catches up with her. She can feel the temptation, feel how easy it is, to just solve everything with a burst of power and a hand gesture, maybe a well-placed word...

But it doesn't solve everything, and it won't bring Tara back. Tara, who had just wanted the best for her; who had wanted her to use magic for good things, as an expression of compassion toward the world. Not for selfish reasons. Willow feels intensely ashamed that she still struggles with this, but that doesn't mean she doesn't. She needs the grass under her hands and trees above her head to recenter herself. To find peace.

She shakes out a circle of ash about five feet in diameter, within sight of the stairs. It's a magical perimeter, intended to stop anything with malicious intent from crossing in and harming her. She hasn't had to use one in years, but Eridan had warned her about the monsters lurking in the woods. Willow uses one now, and settles herself cross-legged in the middle.]

B.

[Some time later, just as she'd really been settling into her inner space, the part of herself that stays calm and undisturbed no matter how much black magic roils through her... she hears a voice, and her breath catches. She could've sworn her heart stopped.]

Tara? [she whispers, and a moment later, she hears another trace of it echoing again.

No. She's dead. Willow lurches to her feet, leaving the small bowl of ash behind, forgotten, and rushes over to the stairs. She's breathing fast, almost hyperventilating, as she races down them.]

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[Oh no, this isn't good. Aradia nods, more than willing to help where she can]

Wh-sure, if you want me to. Why, is there something bad up there?

[Like she's not going to explore for herself later anyway, but something's obviously freaked Willow out]

I don't know. I-- I heard something... someone. Someone that's dead.

[She exhales slowly, reasserting her sense of logic.] So it couldn't have really been her. And I know there's monsters in the woods, so I shouldn't-- check.

[That, oddly, draws a small smile from Aradia]

I used to be able to do that. Hear the voices of the dead, I mean. They seem to have quietened down since I got here though...anyway, if you want I could go and check for you?

[Which...probably bends the heroic clause of God Tier but if it would make Willow feel better]

[Ordinarily Willow would be doing her level past to remain cool, calm and witty in a crisis, which she tends to be good at.

But this is about Tara. There's nothing calm left.] N-No, no, you can't! It can't really be her, and what if you got hurt looking for her? It'd be my fault, and-- [and she can't take any more guilt--] and if it is her, then I... I left her here all this time. Or there was something I missed, and I could've been talking to her.

I'm sorry, I... I can't-- [She's just distressing herself more, talking like this. She'll end up crying if she keeps going, and she wants to be done with crying, especially in front of someone she hardly knows. Willow tries to pack those thoughts away, offer something that makes sense.] Eridan called her my matesprit. I watched her die.

It can't be her.

[Well that makes sense. If she was flushed for this human, that made all of this a little easier for Aradia to navigate.

If Willow will allow it, she moves to gently lead her further into the room so they can sit down. This doesn't seem like a conversation to have on the stairway]

Or she only just got here, just like we did. There's still a lot we don't know about how this place works. And I'm not afraid of a few monsters. Besides, death doesn't have to be permanent.

[At least, it isn't always in her world]

[Willow follows as directed, still distraught enough to be grateful for the direction.]

I know death doesn't have to be permanent-- I've resurrected someone. But she... she couldn't come back. I tried and it didn't work.

[A bit desperately,] It has to be a trick, right? [Guilt is flooding her at the idea that she could've done something, that there was something she'd missed that would've brought Tara back. Even if she deserves her peace in Heaven, and Willow knows that now from her experience resurrecting Buffy, she's selfish enough that she would only hesitate a little if she knew of a way to make her alive again.]

[Aradia mulls this over for a moment. As far as she knew, only those who played the game had dream selves but Willow could resurrect people. That in itself was extraordinary and worthy of investigation, at a better time than this.]

It's possible. I've seen some disturbing things on some of the other floors...I don't think it's a stretch to say this place wants to mess with our heads. And making you think you heard your dead matesprit sounds like a pretty good way of doing that.

[She takes a seat on one of the couches while barely noticing she's done so, wrapped up in memories and doubts.]

That's what I thought. I just-- [Staring at her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers together.] I couldn't be sure.

[Glances up.] I'm sorry to dump all of this on you, [she says honestly.] All death and voices on our second conversation. I try to save that for the third. [Willow manages a weak smile at her own joke.]

You never can be, when it comes to that sort of thing. Otherwise it wouldn't be a very effective trick, I suppose.

[She sits as Willow does, close enough to be supportive without crowding her or the risk of hitting her with the wings she was still getting used to. At Willow's apology, she offers a reassuring smile]

No need to apologise. I was all death and destruction in our first conversation so I think that makes us even.

Yeah, but you were new. That's like... a right of passage. You totally get a free pass.

[The banter makes her calm down like nothing else, though, familiar Scooby tradition as it was. Willow angles to face her on the sofa, her smile gaining strength, if still sad.] Thanks. I appreciate you not letting me fly off on a hare-brained rescue mission for my dead girlfriend. I try not to be, with the rabbits. [So she's still a little nonsensical. It was progress.]

Really? Huh, I'll have to remember that.

[She's joking. Death's never fun whenever it comes up but Aradia's faced it enough to be rather more rational than others might]

No problem. I'm not really sure what the rules of sharing a room are but I'm pretty sure looking out for each other is somewhere in there. Hopbeasts and all.

[Joking after death-related experiences is always appreciated in Willow's world.

Her smile turns wry, a bit self-conscious.] You're a good roomie, Aradia. If I were totally friendless here, I think I'd turn into the local crazy witch lady, all potion making and cackling.

I try to resist that stereotype.

[Aradia can't help but be pleased at the compliment. She's never had a roomie before so she's glad she's doing a good job]

Somehow I find it hard to believe someone like you could end up being friendless anywhere.

[She's not sure where potion making and cackling fit into being a witch but then the only examples she knows of are Feferi, who was a different case anyway, and Rose who she only spoke to the once and seemed more about destroying than making]

You'd be surprised. I wasn't always this calm and capable. Not too long ago I was poor friendless geek girl who wore unfortunate clothes.

Well, except for Xander. I've always had Xander.

Really? Huh. That wouldn't really have mattered on Alternia. Kanaya was the only one who really cared about clothes and stuff.

Who's Xander?

Well, trust me, I was about the most uncool it was possible to get. I'll spare you specific examples.

Oh, he's a close friend of mine. We practically grew up together. I think you might call him my moirail? Though humans don't really have those.

Well, that shouldn't really have mattered. What matters is you're so nice...which...isn't all that common for trolls but that doesn't mean we can't appreciate it.

Ooh! Is he here?

[She looks a little embarrassed by the compliment, but gives her a grateful smile anyway.] Humanity has its own ways of being cruel. Thanks, though. All the trolls I've met so far haven't been too bad, to be honest.

No, he's... at home. [She looks down into her lap.] I haven't seen anyone from my world here. I can't even really-- wish he were here, because he's needed so much back there. I am, too, but I can't do anything about that. [Willow's trying hard not to be selfish, even in thought, but damn is it difficult.]

Really? Huh. Maybe you've been lucky enough to avoid the less pleasant ones so far. But I think all species have the capacity for cruelty, it's just a matter of how much it shows.

[And even through Willow's insistence, Aradia can understand the unspoken]

Still, I don't think you should feel bad for not wanting to be the only one here. I was lucky; there seems to be a lot of trolls here and one is my matesprit...now...again...that's a long story. Anyway, point being at times like this, having friends around you makes it easier so don't feel bad for wanting them here.

You're probably right. On both counts. I'm sure eventually I'll have to smack some sense into someone; that's just how it goes.

I guess I just-- hearing Tara's voice again, I... [Her voice drops, grows soft.] It made me miss her all over again. And then I felt all lonely, cause, I'm starting to get used to the idea that I'll never see her again, but everyone else? That part's-- kinda new.

Unfortunately, yes. Just be careful - the higher up the spectrum you go, the more violent the troll.

I understand. Even all the other people here can't really make up for the people from your world. But maybe they'll still come, in time. I'm not ready to discount anything as impossible for this place just yet.

Is that how that works? All I really know is that purple's on one end-- what's on the other?

You're right. You're... definitely right. I can't give up now, that would be heinous and, and disrespectful, and what if they show up and I'm all mopey Willow? Not a very good welcome. I should focus on happy things.

Like... [She casts around for something happy to talk about.] Oh, oh like, you having a matesprit again! You did say that, right?

Yes. Purple's the top end, at least in my world. The other end is me, basically, but then there's Karkat whose blood isn't even on the spectrum. But as far as the true spectrum goes, dark red is the lowest...or highest, I guess, in some worlds.

[She smiles at Willow's determination] That's the spirit. If they come, they'll come so all we can do is be ready in case they do.

[At the question, Aradia blushes deep red] Um, yes. I don't know if you've met Sollux yet...my world's Sollux, I mean. It's a really long story but once we were matesprits and when I got here he asked if I'd like us to be again.

Okay, good to know. It's too bad you guys don't come with, like, a manual or something, then I could just learn this all at once.

[Willow smiles back, relieved to be apparently digging herself out of sadness effectively.] Exactly.

[Oho, she sees that blush and grins at her delightedly. If there's anything Willow likes, it's talking about other peoples' love lives.] I haven't met him, no. But congratulations! You must be super excited. I'm happy for you, Aradia.

[She grins] You know, I could say the same for humans. But who knows, maybe there's enough of us here for something like that to work...though I can answer any questions you might have anyway.

[And that blush shows no sign of fading] Um, thank you, Willow. I'll have to introduce you at some point.

❝trying to talk my way out of this❞

[B]

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