❝trying to talk my way out of this❞

[guiltapalooza]

Characters: Willow and whoever. OPEN.
Setting: Sixth floor (the forest).
Format: I slightly prefer action over prose, but I'll match whatever you want to do!
Summary: Willow's been doing a lot of magic lately, and tries to meditate to help manage it. Unfortunately she picks the worst place possible. Run into her in A or B, just let me know which one in the subject!
Warnings: Grief. Addiction recovery.


A.

[Since she got here, she's been doing magic almost nonstop. Well, not really, but it feels that way. Casual, advanced, ritual and on the fly-- she's even been teaching it, a little. Willow desperately needs to meditate and feel the Earth beneath her before it catches up with her. She can feel the temptation, feel how easy it is, to just solve everything with a burst of power and a hand gesture, maybe a well-placed word...

But it doesn't solve everything, and it won't bring Tara back. Tara, who had just wanted the best for her; who had wanted her to use magic for good things, as an expression of compassion toward the world. Not for selfish reasons. Willow feels intensely ashamed that she still struggles with this, but that doesn't mean she doesn't. She needs the grass under her hands and trees above her head to recenter herself. To find peace.

She shakes out a circle of ash about five feet in diameter, within sight of the stairs. It's a magical perimeter, intended to stop anything with malicious intent from crossing in and harming her. She hasn't had to use one in years, but Eridan had warned her about the monsters lurking in the woods. Willow uses one now, and settles herself cross-legged in the middle.]


B.

[Some time later, just as she'd really been settling into her inner space, the part of herself that stays calm and undisturbed no matter how much black magic roils through her... she hears a voice, and her breath catches. She could've sworn her heart stopped.]

Tara? [she whispers, and a moment later, she hears another trace of it echoing again.

No. She's dead. Willow lurches to her feet, leaving the small bowl of ash behind, forgotten, and rushes over to the stairs. She's breathing fast, almost hyperventilating, as she races down them.]

Comments

[guiltapalooza]

That's not really absurd for me. That's more like... Tuesday.

[Okay, calm enough to make jokes about Sunnydale means calm enough not to cry all over this total stranger. Good. Progress.] Did you hear any details about-- hearing voices? Because I thought I... [She trails off, completely unable to put into words the magnitude for her of hearing Tara.]

[comboherooo.livejournal.com]

[Well, if it's normal for her, then that should make things easier to accept...]

I haven't hear anything about voices on that floor, but I've heard voices in other places here.

[A pause.]

Voices from home.

[guiltapalooza]

... That's what I heard. And I-- I don't know what to think.

It's just voices, right? A-- a trick?

[hoboherooo.livejournal.com]

[Eiji nods.] Yeah, from my experience, just a trick to get to you, to draw you in.

[guiltapalooza]

Right. [She exhales, long and low, trying to get those thoughts out of her head. She's only partially successful.]

Thanks for letting me know. Otherwise I was about to do something potentially very stupid, and I've tried to swear that off.

[hoboherooo.livejournal.com]

[Eiji nods.] No problem. It's hard to fight the urge to make sure it's not real, I know.

[guiltapalooza]

... Did that happen to you? ]she asks hesitantly.] Is that how you know?

[hoboherooo.livejournal.com]

[There's a weighted pause before Eiji finally nods.]

A number of... [Another pause as he considers the time.] ...months ago, but yes.

[guiltapalooza]

I'm sorry-- that's horrible. It was awful for me so I assume it was awful for you, too.

[hoboherooo.livejournal.com]

[There's a short nod.] This place is horrible. It messes with you, mentally and physically... If I had died before I Came here, I'd have to wonder if this place was some kind of Hell.

[guiltapalooza]

Oh, it's not hell. Way more tentacles and enslavement in hell; I have it from a good source.

This is just... wacky and occasionally miserable. But the people aren't so bad?

[hoboherooo.livejournal.com]

[Eiji frowns.] You haven't been here very long, then. The things our 'keepers' have done to us, both directly and indirectly... It's at least some kind of a hell.