towerofanimus

Entry tags:

002.

Characters: [AU1] Kanaya Maryam and yoooooou
Setting: Floor 15, the workshop OR the infirmary, backdated to a few days after returning from the nightmare worlds.
Format: Start prose, can match
Summary: After her first hectic days in the Tower, Kanaya is finally allowed to leave the infirmary (after almost dying of boredom). She about has a heart attack upon realizing that all of the clothes in her trunk show her symbol in red. So, she heads to the workshop, to hopefully remedy this problem.
Warnings: Probably language, and mentions of injury.

[Floor 15]
Kanaya frowned at the expanse of dark gray fabric before her. It had been a long time since she'd really sewn anything. She had patched up the jacket that Vriska made her, but making clothes in their own right was something she hadn't had the time for in what felt like sweeps. Beside her was a small pile of clothing -- things that bore the Virgo symbol in that stupid mutant color of hers. She could paint the shirt again, but...a patch would suffice for her coat. It felt wrong to make too drastic of a change.

Hopefully the skills would come back to her. The white body suit was not exactly the most comfortable thing to wear all the time (though it was effective for hiding all the bandages she was dressed with). She grabbed the pencil that she had set aside and began drawing out the shapes required for a simple tee-shirt. She'd paint the symbol on once it was all put together.

[Infirmary]
Kanaya did not consider her life to be boring. Not in the least. Especially not since she had revealed her blood color. Honestly, her life was pretty exciting, if downright shitty in most aspects.

And yet, medical blocks were still unspeakably boring. She sighed, staring down at the bandages covering her arms. She'd probably need to change them soon, but she always dreaded having to take them off, for fear of anyone seeing her mutation. The blood was mistakable for maroon while it was dry, but usually the wounds required cleaning too.

She'd put it off for a little while longer. Until then, time to count the folds in the sheets on the bed.

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Perhaps her boredom was about to be relieved! A nurse poked his head through the curtain and flashed a toothy smile at her as he entered, pulling a little rolling table with gauze, bandages and cleaning solution.

"Hi," he said cheerfully. "Here to change your bandages. How're you doing today?"

His crimson eyes had a bit of an odd intensity to them. He immediately recognized the wriggler as a descendent of his lusus, and that interested him.

She looked up when she was addressed, and was almost immediately filled with a sense of panic. Her bandages? But-- he was a troll. Or at least looked exactly like one. The way Karkat had mentioned Her Imperious Condescension, Kanaya had figured that there were other adult trolls in the Tower, but this was the first time she'd seen one.

That aside, if he was a troll, and saw her blood color, he might...

She swallowed, trying not to make her panic evident. "Um," she replied -- the picture of eloquence. "Worried," admitted Kanaya truthfully.

He saw the nervousness, but pretended not to, rummaging with the supplies and cutting some lengths of gauze. He understood the nervousness of any troll who was being tended to by another troll, and would feel nervous, himself. It was hard to admit to weakness to someone who didn't pity you.

"Nothing to worry about, Kanaya," he said, offering her another smile as he approached and reached for her hand. "I've got this weird policy of not hurting people, generally, and also specifically. So you're safe in my prongs, I promise."

Okay, it makes sense for a nurse to know her name. That's their job, right? She was just being paranoid.

She still looked nervous, but his words were enough to reassure her into letting him take her hand. Getting a closer look, he...sort of reminded her of Karkat. Hers, anyways. She wasn't sure if the alpha Karkat had the same horns. (Then again, Terezi and Vriska seemed to be about the same in appearance, so it was probably reasonable to assume the case would be the same for her moirail's doppelganger.)

"Okay," she agreed, for good measure. Well, if he was lying and did end up killing her (she'd have no chance against an adult troll, after all), at least the tower would resurrect her.

"I'm the Signless, by the way," he said gently, unwinding the bandages around her wrist. "I met another Kanaya earlier, though I haven't seen her in a while. I'm guessing--"

He paused, blinking, as he saw the muddy colour of dried red blood. "Oh," he said, trying to cover it up. Even now, he assumed she was a rust blood. "Are you from the same universe as that cerulean Karkat?"

The...Signless? Huh. What a strange title.

She winced at his reaction to the color on the wrappings, tensing a little in his grip. Maybe he'd think she was a maroon. The color was exactly the same when it was dry. "Yes," answered the young troll, trying to sound calmer than she was. "He is a close friend of mine. I have spoken with the other Kanaya as well, on the network. I have not yet gotten to meet her in person."

Hopefully if she kept talking, it would keep attention off of her cuts. "It is nice to meet you. Thank you for your help."

"No problem," Signless said, a little distracted as he cautiously eased the wrappings off her wrist. He grabbed the disinfectant and began to go over the wounds.

She might have been trying to distract him, but he was almost riveted by the sight of the wounds. He knew that colour. He had seen it on himself.

This was impossible.

He lifted his head, searching her expression. "Kanaya?"

Oh no.

She shrunk back from him, a little more fear evident on her face than she cared to admit to. She squashed the urge to yank her arm away, but the limb still jumped a little in his hands out of reflex.

She was quiet for a long moment, before quietly venturing, "...yes?"

Maybe he had seen something else. Maybe it was a medical complication of some sort.

The sight of her fear cut through his own shock. Of course she was terrified, and he didn't have the luxury of flipping his shit.

He laid her hand gently down and reached out, papping her lightly on the shoulder. "Shoosh, Kanaya, don't be afraid. I swear, you have nothing to be afraid of. Not with me."

He leaned closer a little. "Look into my eyes, wriggler. Look, and tell me you're still scared."

She expected to be culled as soon as he could reach some kind of murdering implement -- if he didn't plan to use his bare hands, anyways -- so hearing reassuring words instead was a bit of a surprise.

Kanaya fought her desire to lean away when he came closer. Despite her fear, she pursed his lips and did as he asked of her.

Her own eyes -- not yet filled with the pigment of her blood -- narrowed a little in observation. This couldn't be. He had to be a maroon.

"...are you..." She paused, trying to properly articulate the question. Nothing she came up with seemed right, so she eventually settled on a quiet, "You too?"

"Why do you think they call me the Signless?" he asked with a twist to his lips. "When I wriggled, there wasn't a sign for me, no lusus, nothing. I was lucky that a Dolorosa found me as a grub, and left her post to raise me."

He drew back again and took her hand, going back to cleaning her wounds. "I'd have been culled as a grub, if it weren't for her. She was a Jade blood, but she'd have been the ancestor of a wriggler named Kanaya." He laughed softly. "You're like a combination of me and my lusus."

The fear had left her, replaced with a kind of awe. She'd never heard of a troll raising another troll before. Even a mutant like her had somehow ended up with a lusus. One of the grumpiest lusii ever, but a lusus that took care of her nonetheless.

"I was wondering why you were called that," admitted Kanaya. "But it did not seem like a proper thing to question."

So...her doppelganger's ancestor took care of this man? She looked down towards the arm being cleaned, and suddenly felt a pang of regret that she had never learned anything about her own ancestor. She probably never would, now.

After a moment of silence, Kanaya had to give a quiet laugh. "I am sorry. I do not really know what to say." Sure, she knew the alpha Karkat had her blood, but somehow this was...different. "The Dolorosa must have been a remarkable woman to risk that for you. I am glad that you and her were not culled."

He flushed crimson and nodded, ducking his head a bit. He wrapped fresh gauze around her wrist and then took her other hand. "Yeah, she is the strongest, most amazing woman I've ever known. Well, her and Di, anyway, but they're different. I owe her everything. I am who I am, because of her, that's just a fact."

He sighed and looked up at her, still blushing. "Don't listen to me babbling on. It's pathetic, I know. But anyway, the point is, you've got nothing to worry about when it comes to me. I hope you know that, now."

"I do not think it's pathetic," Kanaya answered quickly. "I think it is inspiring. It's..." She paused to think of how to explain it. "It is nice to know that there is hope of me reaching adulthood. And that there are others who do not mind my color."

She gave him a bit of an unsure smile. "Thank you, again. I am sorry for my initial reaction."

He grinned and reached up, ruffling her hair lightly before returning to what he was doing. "You might be surprised how many there are that don't mind your colour. Certainly, my close friends won't give a shit. They're used to following me."

He shook his head. "No need to apologize. I'd have been petrified in your position.'

The uncertainty disappeared from her smile when he tousled her hair. She'd never thought she'd actually live to see an adult troll, much less one with the same mutation as her. Suddenly, she couldn't help but recall what Eridan had told her, about the Sufferer and the Summoner.

...maybe Signless was...?

...well, it wouldn't do to make assumptions. Especially crazy ones. "I would like to tell more people some day," she admitted. It would be awfully nice to not have to deal with this secret.

She couldn't keep the surprise off of her face at his confession. It wasn't often that a troll admitted weakness, when they could help it. "Really?"

"Really. As for telling people, why not start today?" Signless asked, winding fresh gauze around her other wrist. "I didn't tell people for a long time, myself. But there came a time when I decided, to hell with this, if someone's got a problem, they can suck my bulge. Other than threshecutioners and subjugglators and such, of course."

He shrugged. "I knew there would come a day when I couldn't hide it anymore. By the time that day came, I'd already told so many people it didn't matter anymore. The hardest part was telling the first person, but after that, it gets easier. Sure, some people might try to cull you, but fewer than you'd think, and when those people come around, that's why you've got all the rest of your friends and quadrants who will help protect you from the closed-minded ones."

He smiled at her. "It's hard to live honestly, but the funny thing is, it's easier that way, too."

She listened intently to every word he spoke, hanging on each syllable as if it were a tale she'd find in one of Prospit's libraries. She'd...never really met anyone with that attitude before. Much less anyone encouraging her to have that kind of attitude. Or...encourage her much at all, really. She was always the one screwing stuff up by pulling stupid stunts.

She looked down to her freshly dressed arm, envisioning the injuries beneath. Sure, Her Imperious Condescension was here, but they weren't on Alternia anymore. There were plenty of people here that would be on her side. She's seen how many aliens are in this tower, and they won't all have the same ridiculous caste system.

Kanaya tilted her head back to meet Signless' gaze. "...I do not know if I possess the strength of will required to face it yet," she confessed bashfully. She'd always been scared before, but sending everything to hell by admitting it once had made the fear even worse. "But I will do my best. I know that many people already know, due to my connection with..."

Then the realization hit her. That other Karkat... "Your descendent," the younger troll eventually finished. "Many have already drawn the parallels. However, I think I'll actually tell them myself, eventually." Kanaya gave a small smile. "I hope that some day I am able to be like you in that regard."

She wasn't brave enough yet. She'd get there, though.

He could see her fear and knew that she was still too nervous to take his advice, but that was all right. He knew how scary and dangerous it was, and he wouldn't think less of her for feeling that way. She was still so young, anyway, and there was time for her to gather her courage.

He smiled and reached out, cupping her cheek. "You're braver than you think," he said. "When you're ready, know at least I'll be there to help you."

She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd never been called brave before, ever. Stupid, mutant, abomination, coward -- all those lovely words were very familiar. It was so jarring to meet a troll that seemed...peaceful. Troll culture was so violent and hateful. She'd built up a thick skin for it, just as any other Alternian had.

Kanaya blinked a little; memories of Vriska's unquestionable acceptance and attachment surged to the forefront of her think pan, provoking a sting that she knew would segue into tears if she wasn't careful. She unconsciously leaned a little into his touch. Her hand started as if to rest on top of his, but somehow she didn't feel like she had earned the gesture, so the appendage hovered awkwardly for a second before she dropped it again.

The redblood smiled regardless. "Thank you. I cannot accurately articulate my gratitude for your words." That didn't really seem adequate, but it would have to do. She didn't want to actually start sobbing -- that wasn't something she wanted Signless to have to deal with.

Signless couldn't be sure, but he suspected the wriggler was blinking back tears. He didn't want to make her feel embarrassed, so he pretended not to see, leaving his hand where it was for a few moments, then patting her hand as he withdrew.

"Words are pretty much inadequate most of the time," he said with a shrug. "You don't have to be grateful."

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002.

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**HER lips self learn to proofred

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