towerofanimus | it's the end of the world as we know it

Characters: William Birkin
Setting: Floor 1
Format: I'll follow you, but action would be mighty nice
Summary: Birkin just showed up and he wants to know what the fuck kinda crap happened to him this time.
Warnings: None

[Birkin always figured he'd have a hand in the apocalypse. Though he definitely thought he'd end up being the cause of it rather than just living through it, somehow or another.

...Though it was probably just another virus anyway. Annoying things. He poked his head out of his room, looking both ways down the hallway. Might as well look for someone he recognized.]

Franken you can't just leave me behind like this, you asshat! [His voice merely echoed back at him. Certainly a bit unnerving, but he'd find him eventually. The guy's labcoat ended up in his trunk or whatever anyway.] Issei?! ...Sher? ...Creepy alien kids...?

[He started walking, slight frown on his face.] Regene?! Wesker? ...Papadachi are you back by any chance?

Guys, seriously... This isn't funny anymore...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mothtly? It involved a lot of fighting and thtupid puthhleth. But it wath okay, I guethh. Fun, thometimeth.

...Stupid what? [Birkin is so nice and tactful :|]

... Puzzthleth...

...One more time? [He actually did catch it that time, but he wanted to be an ass.]

[Punches in the shoulder] Thuck my mutant bulge.

[Birkin's cracking up even as the punch makes him rather obviously stumble backwards] I don't know what a bulge is, but it sounds disgusting.

You don't know what a bulge ith?

...Am I supposed to know?

...Never mind. I don't want to know what humanth have.

Wait hang on, let's back up. Is a bulge like, a sexual thing? Because I won't lie, it's hard to say bulge and make it sexy.

[Okay, he's blushing] Yeah, it'th like...the thing you thtick into the nook. Do we have to talk about thith?

Nook? Like the Barnes & Noble e-reader thing? [Sollux, you just opened up a whole can of worms here]

...What?

...We have nooks too, but they're flat computers rather than... Whatever you're talking about.

It'th a part of my anatomy! And no, I won't show you, pervert.

...Didn't you say you had a bulge? [Sollux you have officially lost Birkin in about 200 different ways]

I have both! Like everyone elthe! At leatht, everyone normal.

Uh... Wow I guess I should have figured given the insect thing but... I really was not expecting you kids to be hermaphrodites.

Wow, it'th totally cool that we're talking about my genitalia like it'th any of your buthinethh. We could jutht thave a lot more wathted time and I could jutht thtrip off my clotheth for you, inthtead. What do you think?

Pathh. [Birkin rolls his eyes. Yeah, he's making fun and being a dick, but really, he doesn't give a shit any more.]

[Thank god. Sollux wouldn't have suggested it if he had a chance of actually taking him up on it, and he grins] Let'th talk about thomething elthe then, old man.

'Ey who the fuck're you callin' old?

You. Becauthe you're fucking ancient.

Fuck off I'm not even forty!

Forty? I'll probably be lucky to live to forty! [Slight exaggeration, but still.]

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touchofgenius - 2012-03-10 02:22 (UTC) - Expand

thekidsare0kay - 2012-03-11 16:24 (UTC) - Expand

touchofgenius - 2012-03-13 01:47 (UTC) - Expand