towerofanimus | it's the end of the world as we know it

Characters: William Birkin
Setting: Floor 1
Format: I'll follow you, but action would be mighty nice
Summary: Birkin just showed up and he wants to know what the fuck kinda crap happened to him this time.
Warnings: None

[Birkin always figured he'd have a hand in the apocalypse. Though he definitely thought he'd end up being the cause of it rather than just living through it, somehow or another.

...Though it was probably just another virus anyway. Annoying things. He poked his head out of his room, looking both ways down the hallway. Might as well look for someone he recognized.]

Franken you can't just leave me behind like this, you asshat! [His voice merely echoed back at him. Certainly a bit unnerving, but he'd find him eventually. The guy's labcoat ended up in his trunk or whatever anyway.] Issei?! ...Sher? ...Creepy alien kids...?

[He started walking, slight frown on his face.] Regene?! Wesker? ...Papadachi are you back by any chance?

Guys, seriously... This isn't funny anymore...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Do you want me to start with the community stuff I've been through? Because that's plenty awkward and might make you feel less awkward about what's happened to you. Should I start with that time I turned into a girl, or the time when I told everyone about my co-dependence and lost a toe?

... Nooo, no, that's okay. [She does, in fact, seem awkward about it, but also self-conscious and helplessly amused at the situation.]

Just saying, I feel you. I think the awkward is too great for it to be negated by anyone else's awkward. It would probably just combust into a supernova of... of awkward.

Better to eat oatmeal.

The awkwarocalypse, even.

Oatmeal is certainly easier to say.

And way tastier.

[She holds out a bowl to him victoriously.] Here we go, just has to do its sitting thing for a few minutes.

[If not for the steam rising out of the bowl, he probably would have just scarfed it all down, and given the sitting thing the middle finger.]

Thanks, 'Low. I probably would have made the kitchen explode if I'd had to do this myself.

From putting water and instant mix in a bowl together? Impressive.

Also, my friends tend to go for the other half of my name. Will.

I tend to impress people with my unique skill set, it's true.

Well that wouldn't work for two reasons: One, that's what Stein calls me when he's being cute and loving. Two, I have a tendency to call people by the second half of their names anyway because the first half is overdone. Like my wife- ex-wife's name was Annette and she was called Annie or Ann for so long that it drove her nuts, so I just started calling her 'Nette. By now, it's just habit.

Come on, you don't want to be Will and Will? [she teases, hopping up onto the counter and swinging her legs.]

We could be like Thelma and Louise except with embarrassing supernatural accidents, and a lot of gossiping about our cross-species and/or gay love lives. It'd be a hit.

You know what? I changed my mind. I have never wanted to be anything as badly as I currently want to be Will and Will - Will Squared for short!

Will Squared sounds good to me. It can be like our secret code name.

Or our... incredibly obvious code name, but secrets have never worked out for me, anyway.

Yeah, secrets tend to bite me in the ass judging by the past. For example, I tried so hard to keep my sexuality a secret but... That fell through when pictures of me in a skirt surfaced.

[She's surprised into a short giggle.]

You in a skirt? Is that a story or a lifestyle choice? Cause, no judging, just wondering.

It's a story. It was Halloween, and I was drunk. There's more to it than that, but I'm not going into it unless you actually want to hear.

Maybe I do want to hear, [she drawls.] Maybe I want to hear all about it.

I'll tell you one of my embarrassing Halloween stories in return, if you want.

Deal.

[Birkin cracks his neck and leans back a bit.] So this was the Halloween right after Stein and I, uh... Met. Let's go with met. DDD had this party, and everyone was required to go in costume, and if you didn't show up, you got stuck in something. I happened to get stuck in a really skimpy nurse outfit, complete with high heels - three years later my feet still hurt at the memory of those damned things.

Anyway, so I get put in the nurse costume, and attempt to drink my drag queen woes away and who wanders up but one Dr. Franken Stein. I still remember what he wore, actually; two outfits stitched together to make him look like Jekyll and Hyde. So we talk for a bit, he hit on me, I blushed like an idiot, we wander off towards the cemetery this party was taking place near, one thing led to another...

Four days later, photos of the incident surfaced and the gay and slut jokes haven't stopped since.

Funny enough I kind of count Halloween as our anniversary because that was the first time we actually said "I love you". It's kind of stupid, because we'd actually decided to officially stop being just friends-with-benefits a couple weeks before that, and that was months after we'd first... Yeah. And plus at the time I'm fairly certain he didn't really mean it, but... For a couple creepy guys like Stein and I, Halloween is a good anniversary date, if you ask me.

[He's blushing a bit, and kind of smiling at the nostalgia of it all. And then he flashes a mischievous smirk.] Your turn.

it's the end of the world as we know it

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