towerofanimus | it's the end of the world as we know it

Characters: William Birkin
Setting: Floor 1
Format: I'll follow you, but action would be mighty nice
Summary: Birkin just showed up and he wants to know what the fuck kinda crap happened to him this time.
Warnings: None

[Birkin always figured he'd have a hand in the apocalypse. Though he definitely thought he'd end up being the cause of it rather than just living through it, somehow or another.

...Though it was probably just another virus anyway. Annoying things. He poked his head out of his room, looking both ways down the hallway. Might as well look for someone he recognized.]

Franken you can't just leave me behind like this, you asshat! [His voice merely echoed back at him. Certainly a bit unnerving, but he'd find him eventually. The guy's labcoat ended up in his trunk or whatever anyway.] Issei?! ...Sher? ...Creepy alien kids...?

[He started walking, slight frown on his face.] Regene?! Wesker? ...Papadachi are you back by any chance?

Guys, seriously... This isn't funny anymore...

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Y-yeah, so I've heard about him. [Birkin chuckles nervously] So I take it you've never met him?

No. [he stops circling him for a moment, just staring down at him.] Don't know what I'd all motherfucking do if I did! We adult trolls usually end up culling the little shits if we ever see them, but I got this thing, see? I don't want to be all thinning out possible candidates for the Subjugglators, no matter how wriggler-like they all motherfucking may be.

Well, I don't know about that. Some people are just not fit for some jobs, and tradition can be kind of an important thing sometimes. Things are like that for a reason, right? [Or, you know, Birkin just really wants Gamzee gone.]

I'm motherfucking down with tradition and shit. Sometimes it's all we got, you know what I all mean? But how the fuck would I know if the little motherfucker's not fit for the job? Judging by what you all said about him, I'm motherfucking inclined to get my believing on that he just might have what it takes.

So you guys don't drug test at all?

[That...makes him stop for a second, staring at him with a hint of confusion.]

Drug test? What the motherfuck are you all motherfucking implying here, human?

Edited 2012-01-25 07:14 (UTC)

That your descendant is a fucking stoner clown.

[There's a incredibly uncomfortable silence where the ghb just stares at Birkin quietly, expression unchanging, processing the words in his thinkpan...

finally he just...tilts his head slightly to one side, his eyes practically burning a hole through Birkin's face.]

You don't say.

[Well Birkin has lived with Stein and Wesker, two people well known for their ability to stare a crater into someone's nose, so even though it's slightly terrifying having this troll do it, he's used to it at least.]

Yeah, he's all hopped up on the... Weird green stuff you all sleep in?

[The highblood groans, shaking his head in...disappointment? God, what the everloving fuck?]

If I had ever a fucking chance to meet the little motherfucker, I would put him through the most motherfucking brutal detox methods I can all think of until he motherfucking squeals for death like a motherfucking lowblood on death fucking row.

[Sighhhhs heavily, folding his arms across his chest, looking off to the side. Man, this news sucked! What kind of Subjugglator got high off the sopor? It made trolls all...happy and calm. No way for a future Subjugglator to be acting.]

[Birkin wanted to beg him not to do that, that it turned Gamzee into a violent psychopath, but he realized that was probably what this guy was after anyway.]

Yeah you motherfucking tell him. [The entire left side of Birkin's face twitched.] Maybe you're onto a whole new career! Keeping kids off drugs!

[He stares down at Birkin, like he's really taking what he said to heart. But...]

Nah brother, you got to motherfucking change a couple of words all in there. CULLING kids ON motherfucking drugs. See, the message will all get in their thinkpans a little quicker, is what I all think.

That seems, uh. Kinda harsh.

Harsh? [Makes am offended 'pffft' sound] I'm doing the little miscreants a motherfucking favor and culling them out of their damn misery. Little shits got to know that this is the real world outside of Alternia.

[Pauses for a moment.] Provided that what the note we all found upon our motherfucking arrival here contained even the shittiest grain of truth.

So you guys don't even know if it's true or not?

Well what if it's not and we're just stuck here! Are you going to go on a killing spree and break down a wall and get us out or anything or complain about how your descendant is a druggie?

[Lazily waves at him like he's just some nuisance.]

Can't just break down a motherfucking wall here, motherfucker. There's an entire motherfucking floor that's open to the outside world! You can brave the height of this here impressive hive if you all motherfucking like. [Then he surges forward, his face a little too close to Birkin's for comfort] And you all got a motherfucking problem with my concerns for my descendant? It's my fucking right, you know.

[Birkin, understandably, practically jumps 30 feet in the air.] Y-yeah! I mean, I, I, I know if it were my kid I'd be pissed! So do whatever you want! It's really not my business!

[He lets out a low snort, then pulls back slightly with a frown. And now he's back to circling him again but much closer than before, and very uncomfortably so.]

Glad you all got that motherfucking figured out. [It's like he's still deciding between killing him and ...not. He knows more about his descendant than he does and well, he's kind of funny. Hm, decisions decisions...]

[Birkin scrambles away as best he can, moving positions so he stays across from the troll as far away as he possibly can.]

No one's more glad about that than I am, trust me. D-do you have any other questions or...?

[His frown suddenly changes to a grin, and he snickers. Then reaches out to playfully(??!?!?!) jab Birkin in the stomach.]

No, I am motherfucking good for tonight. You go on and get the fuck out of here...

[BIRKIN SHRIEKS AND JUMPS LIKE 20 FEET IN THE AIR DON'T MIND HIM]

Yeah you got it! Getting the fuck out of here right now!

[he cackles at the comically fearful reaction. it's been a while since anyone's reacted like that.]

it's the end of the world as we know it

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