the storm finally found me

[uprisings]

Characters: The Summoner and YOU
Setting: Between the thirteenth floor and the infirmary
Format: I will follow!
Summary: The Summoner really needs a hug except for the part where his ribs are broken
Warnings: Mentions of violence and blood?? Rampant self-loathing??? Various existential and emotional crises?????

[He stays where he is for a long time after the Highblood leaves, staring rather blankly into the air. He has not felt this low since he was a child. Since before he met Pyralsprite, and that thought is… absolutely hysterical to him. He has fought his whole life and it took a week and two trolls to bring him back here, where he questions every single one of his thoughts, his movements, everything. He does so much wrong, how could he have forgotten that]

[So he laughs because what the hell else is there to do. He wants nothing more then to sleep the rest of forever away, but he can’t as his body is quick to remind him. He’s coughing violently into his hand before long, unsurprised when after the fit has ended there are speckles of blood on his palm. Fuck. He wanted to skip the trip to the infirmary, but if his lungs are punctured…]

[The climb to his feet is truly agonizing, and he knows walking will be worse. There are little things in him muttering that he deserves it and he just can’t bring himself to argue with it. Yes. Of course he deserves it. Whatever. How many flights is it to the infirmary? He should’ve paid better attention in the past]

[Ah well… The first push off is the worst, and then he’s moving out of the cathedral and down the halls, one arm wrapped around himself while the other uses the wall for support. He’s tired. Let’s get this over with…]

Comments

[uprisings]

[........?????????]

[WHAT. WOW if he weren't absolutely exhausted at this point, he'd be crawling out of his skin at this. Holy shit what is the Sufferer doing in the infirmary is he hallucinating or something oh my gooood]

[Okay being guided onto an examination table he can do this. Okay... right just the Sufferer yep yep. Yep...... Alright. Minor resurgence of hero worship over. We're good]

U-uh... I got in a, fight...?

[benigncancer]

I can see that. [Eyeroll. Really, Summoner, you are the most adorable. Signless is wearing a white coat over his Leggings, and is trying to help the Summoner to lie down on the table without messing up his wings]

Who beat the ever-loving shit out of you?

[uprisings]

[HE... actually doesn't look that beat up. He was really only hit once and that's under his shirt lsjdf But he's hella pale and breathing like there's broken glass in his lungs... which might not actually be that far off whoops. Broken ribs and all that]

[But yeah he... gets the gist of what the guy wants after a confused second, and shifts his wings to make room. Even if... that means the forewings are splayed sort of awkwardly off the sides of the table]

Another troll... [...hhhhh he can't dodge the Sufferer's questions though oh noooo] The Highblood.

[benigncancer]

Fuck. [He reaches to open the Summoner's shirt unceremoniously so he can assess the damage] What happened?

[uprisings]

[Oh okay... He tenses for a second, uncomfortable and awkward with the Sufferer just... pulling his clothes off like this!!! But... yeah, he's certainly not going to interfere with him... having to deal with all the various buttons and clasps along the side that make it even possible for him to put his shirt on in the morning. Have fun with all of that]

[And uh... okay, look. His skin is already pretty gross as it is, marked up by a truly ridiculous number of old scars, but now it's all tinged brown and yellow and green. He's bruised from his collar to the bottom of his ribcage, though the point of impact is obvious at the center of his chest. It almost looks broken inwards a little bit actually, and if the Sufferer cares to take it, his pulse is kind of fluttery and strange. If he were human, he would be dead. As it is, he's not all that far away from it anyway]

Uhm... he punched me... [...also romantic drama? He doesn't really want to talk about that though lkjsdf]

[benigncancer]

[Woah, that looks really bad. Signless is going to need a doctor on this one, but for now he preps some pain killers and something to knock the Summoner out for surgery.

His tone is calm, and kind, but there's an undercurrent of anger running through it, barely audible.] Why'd he punch you, brother?

[uprisings]

[Hm... ); Well he really doesn't like the anger in his voice at all. And he really really doesn't like that it looks like he's preparing something to drug him with. Props himself up on his elbows to watch]

[And there is a rather lengthy pause here. He certainly doesn't want to answer that, but he can't just... not answer the Sufferer. Eventually though, he speaks, and his voice is... faint... maybe sad despite his best attempts to hide it]

I. Disappointed him, I think.

[benigncancer]

Disappointed him? [he has been preparing an IV, but he sets it aside and returns to the Summoner's side, putting a hand on his shoulder and looks down at him intently. He has some time to listen.]

[uprisings]

[.......oh my god]

[nope]

[nope nope nope he can't talk to the fucking Sufferer about this, he will just skeeve himself out. Even more then he already does on a daily basis. What kind of sick lowblood masochist has feelings like this about the Highblood lakjsdflkjadf not one that deserves the Sufferer's attention that's for damn sure]

[LOOKING OFF TO THE SIDE!!!] I think so, yes uh... [...oh hell, he can't think of a topic change. He is way too flustered for this right now. Lord... snaps his jaw shut nope nope nope]

[benigncancer]

[Signless waits for a bit, then begins to gently rub at the Summoner's shoulder, squeezing with his fingers and massaging slightly - hoping it's not a bruised spot.]

Whatever it is, you can tell me. Please, brother. If you're afraid of disappointing me, I can tell you that's not going to happen. Whatever you think you've screwed up, I can guarantee I've fucked up worse.

[uprisings]

[It's not UNFORTUNATELY. If it was bruised, it'd be easier to continue desperately trying to ignore him. This is terrible. You are manipulating his feelings right now and that's terrible]

[WELP clearly the most clinical tone possible here will make... everything... better...]

I have, at least once. Kissed the Highblood. And that was a thing, uh... that I thought, might continue. But I think, that I. Have fucked it up. By being, unhappy about... news that I received... earlier this week. [And a number of these feelings are confusing as hell to him which is why he's put them in such awkward terms... sorry bro :T]

[benigncancer]

[He listens, and nods and continues massaging. Now, which part is the most important?]

Two questions. First, are we talking red or black? And second, what news?

[uprisings]

[The second part is definitely more important, but... he gets... pretty stuck on that first question. Welp]

Not red. [...that's about the only easy part though. It's not black either. Or at least... not black the way he has ever experienced it. Not that his experience with blackrom has been anything except awful and kind of abusive but he doesn't... realize there's a difference uuuugh feelings are hard]

I don't, know. [Reaches up and... covers his face. This is embarrassing aughsldkjf] I just want to... take him apart, without uh... killing him. I guess. I, don't know.

[benigncancer]

Okay. Sounds pretty black, but that's probably not the important thing right now.

[He leans down and cups the Summoner's face, papping him lightly] What news, brother?

[uprisings]

[...wheezes did his hero just pap him holy shit HOLY SHIT excuse him his pan just shut down for a second]

[Rebooting...]

[Okay... Oh wait, no, he doesn't want to talk about this... especially since it seems... petty and small next to the Sufferer. Dude was tortured to death for his cause, and all you did was fail your stupid, pointlessly idealized dream, Summoner. Not even comparable... His voice is very, very soft, and he is... digging the point of one of his claws into his forehead]

I fail. Everyone. The revolution is, defeated.

[benigncancer]

[Signless nods slowly, his expression twisting with wry sympathy. He learned the same sort of news when he first arrived, and he knows what it feels like to know that you failed everyone, and that your loved ones died and were tortured for your cause]

I know what you mean.

[He draws the hand away from the Summoner's forehead, then leans down and kisses the spot]

It didn't mean nothing. Even if it might feel that way, you tried, and someone will remember that. You're proof of that, for me. And there is someone out there who's proof of that, for you.

[uprisings]

[Oh no oh no. Watches his hand get taken away, and then his eyes flicker up to the Sufferer kissing his forehead. His words hit him like a goddamn sledgehammer, harder then the Highblood ever could. And he just... really has a lot of feelings that he doesn't know what to do with already, things that have been accumulating for days. He's so overwhelmed all of a sudden, they're all coming to the surface and something about being around his childhood fucking hero makes him feel six again...]

[He is trying damned hard not to cry right now, but he may still be wibbling a little bit anyway. Goddammit );]

I guess so.

[benigncancer]

[He slips his arms around the Summoner, kissing his cheek, then his other one]

Trust me. What you did, was important. Even if it failed. It was another step along the road.

[uprisings]

[What oh my god. He makes this kind of... thin, whimper of a sound at the back of his throat and... wraps his arms around him suddenly, hands clutching sort of desperately at his lab coat. Stay here for a second please... just... please. Words have gone and escaped him all of a sudden]

[benigncancer]

[He's fine with staying where he is, and he holds him close, patient and caring. Don't worry, brother. You don't have to be afraid and hide your feelings. Trolls don't have to be like that. That's the whole idea]

[uprisings]

[He knows that of course. That is what he tells people all the time. Feelings are okay. It's okay to be vulnerable. But saying it to other people and putting into practice himself, when every other instance of it in his life has been met with outright ridicule, when he has been a soldier for so so long, is hard. One of the hardest things he's ever done, honestly]

[He keeps... starting to let him go and then clinging again, like he can't decide whether he should stay or not. He wants to stay. Being around the Sufferer just seems to make... everything... mellow out. Everything makes sense here. Of course he mattered. Of course there will be others. He didn't waste his life... He tried]

[Sucks your coat is white, bro, cause there are probably some unattractively brown stains on the shoulder before too long. He is trying quite hard not to make it obvious that he is... crying a little bit, but he's still shivering slightly and the wheeze in his chest keeps hitching. ljaf fuck this hurts with broken ribs aughlsjdfklj]

[benigncancer]

[As the Summoner starts to cry, the Signless begins to make little crooning, melodic noises, sort of like a lusus might make to his wiggler, only trollish. He never had a lusus - he had a troll, who sang to him when he was sad, and so he sings to the Summoner, very softly, and a bit self-consciously, but sincerely all the same.

He's worried about the state of the Summoner's ribs, but the other troll needs him so badly, he figures he can wait just a bit longer, calm him down before he does anything about that problem]

[uprisings]

[...okay he's actually pretty confused for a second. It's been awhile since he heard anything like that, and even with the kind of... instinctual calm those particular sounds bring, it still takes him a moment to realize what he's doing. And then he's actually amused. He'd laugh if he had the breath for it. Oh dear, he remembers why he had a crush on him when he was a kid now. No one is actually this genuine and sweet oh gosh oh gosh the stories did not even begin to do him justice]

[The tears slow almost immediately, and he ends up... tucking his head up against the Sufferer's neck, nuzzling at him. Which is just as much visceral reaction to a lusus trying to be comforting as it is... a probably overly familiar thanks for helping, for doing something that makes him self-conscious. His hands slowly loosen around him, for good this time. He doesn't let go entirely, but he's certainly backed off enough that the Sufferer can get back to that whole... medic thing now... He feels rather miraculously better already tbh]

[benigncancer]

[The nuzzling is so incredibly sweet, and despite the fact that Signless is blushing a bit and spent the last few minutes completely unsure if anything he was doing was helping, or if he was just making a monstrous fool of himself, he feels a little thrill of satisfaction. It looks like he did the right thing, and that makes any embarrassment more than worthwhile.

He paps Summoner's cheek one last time, letting the song fade away, and then straightens and grins nervously down at his patient]

Feeling better?

[uprisings]

[Lets him go, laying back and just... smiling awkwardly in return. Possibly he may be blushing a little. That grin is just too cute he cannot even deal with this]

Much. Um... thank you. And, also sorry. I guess.