the storm finally found me

[uprisings]

Characters: The Summoner and YOU
Setting: Between the thirteenth floor and the infirmary
Format: I will follow!
Summary: The Summoner really needs a hug except for the part where his ribs are broken
Warnings: Mentions of violence and blood?? Rampant self-loathing??? Various existential and emotional crises?????

[He stays where he is for a long time after the Highblood leaves, staring rather blankly into the air. He has not felt this low since he was a child. Since before he met Pyralsprite, and that thought is… absolutely hysterical to him. He has fought his whole life and it took a week and two trolls to bring him back here, where he questions every single one of his thoughts, his movements, everything. He does so much wrong, how could he have forgotten that]

[So he laughs because what the hell else is there to do. He wants nothing more then to sleep the rest of forever away, but he can’t as his body is quick to remind him. He’s coughing violently into his hand before long, unsurprised when after the fit has ended there are speckles of blood on his palm. Fuck. He wanted to skip the trip to the infirmary, but if his lungs are punctured…]

[The climb to his feet is truly agonizing, and he knows walking will be worse. There are little things in him muttering that he deserves it and he just can’t bring himself to argue with it. Yes. Of course he deserves it. Whatever. How many flights is it to the infirmary? He should’ve paid better attention in the past]

[Ah well… The first push off is the worst, and then he’s moving out of the cathedral and down the halls, one arm wrapped around himself while the other uses the wall for support. He’s tired. Let’s get this over with…]

Comments

WE'RE GOING TO GO CRAZY AND ORDER-LESS HERE, OKAY

[guiltapalooza]

[ ... Yeah, she can't help herself. She reaches out and takes one of his hands in her own, gently, more lightly placing hers over his than anything. She does this with a quick look to his expression to make sure it's alright.]

It's all kind of a mess, huh? Do you want to be with him, as kismesis?

OKAY o7

[uprisings]

[Follows their hands with his eyes, giving her a sort of... unsure look when she meets his eyes. But he doesn't protest, so...]

Ummm... no, I. Don't think so...? [...feelings are hard. Sigh. He doesn't even know how to classify his Feelings on the subject of the Highblood] This doesn't really... feel like it has, in the past... But it's not pity. [Little, distressed huff] I don't know.

[guiltapalooza]

It sounds like it's too recent for you to really know how you feel yet, [she says sympathetically.] Give yourself some time.

But you know that if... it does go in that direction, you're not supposed to actually kill each other, right? Cause even I know that, so you must have to, but you look more like you don't. [Willow is a lot more comfortable being supporto-worried girl than scolding frantic healing girl, so her worry comes out openly, unreserved but not pressuring.]

[uprisings]

[Kind of... squints a little and glances off to the side, watching Link out of the corner of his eye for a second. Yeah. Time sounds good. He can definitely put this off... Even if that really doesn't... feel like the right thing to do. It's the best advice he's gotten so far, so he might as well try that first]

[Still, at her comment about killing each other he... smiles faintly. It's not an especially nice smile, sort of thin and mean, and it fades a second later as he lets his gaze return to her. Sounds... weirdly earnest?? Like, 'oh is that where we fucked up cause I wasn't sure']

I already, killed him once. Actually...

[guiltapalooza]

[Putting it off a little so that he has time to process is what she's getting at. Feelings must be running really high right now if he--

Killed him??] You killed him?! [Staring at him and not liking that smile.] No, bad! No killing! I mean, unless you had to, but you can't be getting into a-- a hate thing if you're going to be killing each other!

[uprisings]

[...lkjsdfkjlj looks a little startled at her. Kind of extreme. Reaction there!!! It's just murder Willow what's your problem gosh!]

Uh. Yes. I imagine if that. [...glances off to the side, uncomfortable, then back to her. He is incredibly disconcerted with the idea of willingly starting a kismesis, at all, much less with the Highblood...] Ever became a thing, I would try to avoid it. When possible. Besides, it was a uh... rather surreal experience anyway. [Not one he really wants to repeat? His head had kind of gone to a scary place there for a little bit]

[guiltapalooza]

It's a lot more than surreal. You can't perpetuate something like that, Summoner.

I may not be entirely clear on how this is supposed to work, but I know what Eridan's face was like when he was talking about Sollux, and it's not like this. If you're not going to try to be his kismesis, you shouldn't be playing around with him. It means he's an enemy and you need to treat him that way.

[uprisings]

[...frowns. Is a human trying to lecture him about a troll romance... Is that a thing that's happening right now]

How, am I supposed to know what to do... if I make him my uh, enemy before I'm, sure.

[guiltapalooza]

[It sure is, and hey, she's at least better at human romance than he is at troll romance. She's really just pretending she's giving Buffy advice about Spike.]

I think that'd just be a big mess. So... give yourself some time to figure it out, but whatever you decide on, try to stick with.

One of my friends had a, a really violent relationship with a vampire-- a rainbow drinker-- and she didn't tell me about it. [Willow bites her lip.] She got really hurt because she couldn't decide if she loved him or wanted him dead, and she was too ashamed to go to anyone for help. I don't want to see that happen to you.

just kinda drivin' bye to say this is still a thing

[ocariness]

[ So hey, Link is still here.

And nodding. Willow is right listen to her okay.

But Link can't help but feel for Summoner, really. It's a shame they're so... well, ten? Ten year olds, they do not understand romance. ]

[uprisings]

[lajsdf poor Link. Suddenly, the Summoner just don't give a shit about the guy being there. All his attention is on Willow because... NOPE. Her words hit him like a slap to the face, frown deepening into something approaching a glare. WOW, he's kind of pissed off!!! What the fuck is all that worry for, the Highblood is not that big a threat!!! Just... you know, never mind the state he was in when he came here]

He did not hurt me because I couldn't figure out-- [LKSJDFLKJ] I can deal with him, just fine, when I am not. Thinking about other things. He's lucky I even bother with him...!

/waves at Char as she zooms along 8D

[guiltapalooza]

But that's exactly what I'm saying! [she protests, frustrated with his anger.] You are so far from being a pushover. Just look at you. [She waves a hand in vague demonstration.] Your horns alone could probably decapitate someone.

So if you aren't interested in being his kismesis, why are you letting him do this over and over?

[uprisings]

Wh... [kljsdlfj]

[...LKJSDLJFLKSJDLFKJ NO DON'T MAKE HIM. REALIZE STUFF]

Because. [...] Because he wouldn't stay dead... even if I killed him again.

[No that's not the reason at all. That's just an excuse AHAHA oh fuck him, he is a brownblooded troll why in the name of all that is good would he want to be the Highblood's kismesis. Fuck]

[guiltapalooza]

[Yes she's so terrible that way, pointing out the obvious to him.....

She sighs in aggravation, but holds in a you are so stubborn!] Look, just let me make my point. Imagine this is someone else, I don't know, someone you don't know. She keeps attacking you and getting the better of you, and murdering lowbloods because she's a highblood, and even if you kill her she'll just come right back.

What would you do about that? Is this really what you'd be doing?

[Willow hates using the terms highblood and lowblood, so she's really trying to make her point, here, even switching gender to try to make it clearer to him.]

[uprisings]

No... [His voice is just... so soft. Kind of horrified. KJSLKDJFLKSJF GOD]

[Just kinda... tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling. How is this his life... Didn't he swear off blackrom at one point? But this doesn't... It isn't like... it has been in the past. OH GOD is that why it hurt that much when he said he wasn't good enough...]

[FFFFFF Slowly slumps forward again, settling his head into his free hand so he can... glare at his knees. Well that means... he has to get him back somehow, right?]

Fuck.

[guiltapalooza]

[All of her exasperated pushiness melts into worried sympathy again, and she scoots a little closer in her position sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to decide if he'd accept a hug.]

... I know. You still don't have to-- to be his kismesis if you don't want to. It's your choice.

But I can't keep healing you every time you get hurt, Summoner. You saw what it did to me earlier.

[uprisings]

[Just... stays where he is. He doesn't care... what Willow does now. He is too busy being horrified at his feelings to even care if she hugs him or not]

[He can't even say anything to the first bit. There isn't a choice here, Willow. That's like saying he has a choice whether to take medicine or not after discovering he's got some terminal illness. It's going to kill him the longer he lets this sit and wait. No one can ever say he's not passionate about his romances]

[Don't mind the irritation in his voice. He just hates himself a little]

I never asked you, to heal me.

[guiltapalooza]

[Annnd that totally derails her. She goes along with the derailing in part because she doesn't like that expression on his face, but mostly because she's offended.]

I'm supposed to wait for you to ask? Listen here, just because your culture doesn't approve of friends doesn't mean I can turn off my feelings. If you're hurt, I'm healing you. If you need back up, I'm there.

And I know Link feels the same way, because he's the one who asked me, anyway!

[Turns expectantly to Link, waiting for him to agree.]

[ocariness]

[ ... Naturally, Link is not going to say HELL NO, because they did kind of drag Willow into this.

But dude, he was hurt. Calmly, there is a nod. ]

You asked no one to help you, Summoner. But you did need the help, and I am not going to let anyone remain hurt if I can help it. Where I am from, people help one another, even if they do not like each other.

... And I am inclined to think that Willow feels much the same on that matter. Had I something on me, I would have done it myself, but I am not accomplished enough at magic to be able to heal as she does.

[uprisings]

[...dead eyes you both, letting his gaze drift from Willow to Link before he returns to glaring a hole into his knee. He's trying to think about OTHER THINGS YOU GUYS]

Then don't, try to blame me for something you... chose to do. [...wow he sounds like an ungrateful prick!!!! He feels like an ungrateful prick too, tbh, but... they are... trying their best. Little eye roll, but his voice is completely genuine]

I appreciate the, help. You did not have to do it, especially when it uh... did what it did to you, Willow, so... thank you.

[guiltapalooza]

[Wow she knows he's trying to think about other things, that's why she's trying to distract him??]

Does there seem like blaming here? [She holds up her hands defensively, but really she's mostly joking, trying to lighten the mood.] No blame. Honestly, it was nice to use all of that negative energy for something positive. I was getting antsy about still having it around. [Because with it came the temptation to use it for things that weren't as innocent as healing someone.]

[ocariness]

... No one is blaming anyone here.

[ Headtilt. ]

If I may interject... if I'm annoying you or I'm in the way, I do not mind leaving, however... I want to help you. I would like to be your friend, Summoner. If that is acceptable.

And... I was wondering if you'd ever played an instrument before.

[uprisings]

[...okay Summoner, you can... sulk about how terrible serendipity is some other time. Link's starting to think he's annoying you, so it's time to come participate again...]

[LITTLE SIGH, but he relaxes ever so slightly, at long last. His wings sort of... open a little and shift as he smiles at Willow for a second. He's glad to have helped!! And then his attention is on Link!]

You're fine. You don't, have to leave if you don't... want to. [Lets his gaze drift off to the side for a moment, remembering... and he sits up again leaning back on his hands. It's an odd question to him! Of course he hasn't. He was never given the opportunity. There was once when he... hm]

When I was uh... eight? Seven or eight, um... they weren't able to replace one of the drummers before a battle. So they made me, do it... But they uh, never asked me again after that...! [Heh! Shrugs, smiling]

So no. Not really... Why?

[ocariness]

[ ... Oh, well, in that case, then Link will stay? Not really bothered, just... yeah Link did not want to annoy him either! ]

... Then I would like to offer to teach you, if that is acceptable with you, of course. I can make you an instrument, if you would like.

[ Yeah, music is very important to the Kokiri, who Link grew up with. ]

It is something of a... very important thing to my people, and... I cannot help but feel like those who have never truly had the chance to play are missing a crucial thing in their lives.

[ Looking to Willow; Link is kind of reaching for another topic here and hoping to just cheer him up... hopefully this is approved? ]

[guiltapalooza]

[Oh boy she got a smile out of him! She counts that as a hearty success. And now Link is doing a good job distracting onto a totally different topic.

When he looks at her, Willow nods rapidly in encouragement, smiling widely.] Oh yeah, totally-- I mean I'm completely tone deaf, so don't think I can take part in this-- but this sounds like a great idea!