004 | ❝I pretend everything's alright...❞

[pitiedthefool]

Characters: Yu and anyone else who is interested in group therapy...
Setting: Dorm 2-2 →Floor 14 → Floor 22 → Everywhere but the music floor for more than PMMM reasons.
Format: Any is fine; I'll follow your lead
Summary: Just a protagonist, seeking his social links...
Warning: Do I even have to warn about SMT shenanigans and them equating to suffering?

Reality and nightmare had begun to blend together at the end of his "punishment" where he had no idea which part had been the truth for a brief moment. Lying there, face down... feeling the static spread as the blood dripped down. He wants to flinch, but even then... he couldn't do that as he lay there, paralyzed for what seemed like an eternity that blended in with the nightmare of being completely alone and utterly helpless to-

The first thing he noticed when he could move was that his face and pillows were soaked in silent tears. It isn't long after that that, unless stopped, he shakily makes his way to the showers in an attempt to calm down...

Floor 14
The first place he even thought about going was the media floor again, knowing with little doubt that he would more than likely run into one of the friends he'd been looking for. Just... any familiar face right now would be a relief to him.

He sat back on a couch, deciding to play a video game for a while. Though just by glancing either at him or the screen, it's obvious his heart wasn't in it.

Floor 22
Yu soon retreats, however- back upstairs to a floor he'd been avoiding ever since their collars had been tampered with not long after he'd awakened here. At first it had been because of what he could remember happening here, but then he learned what had happened when he lost control himself. Realized that he'd been running scared of what could be triggered if he returned here.

Not anymore, though right now he needed the silence. Not so many people visited the gallery with whatever it could show of their fears, and hadn't he just been forced to live through his own-?

He decided to pointedly look away from the image of his world covered in the fog, even as a silent tear fell. Even though he knew at least a few were still here, the crushing despair and emptiness of that experience...

"Damn." How could he ever forgive himself for falling for such an obvious example of false imagery?

Floor 25
This meadow... it almost reminded him of the last time he saw the TV world...

But it and the other floors aren't the only ones he visited, searching for any familiar faces to make sure they're alright, even at the expense of himself. Despite Izanagi's calm presence and reassurance, he needed to see them for himself.

Comments

Floor 14; time for awkwardness!!! \o/

[mutab1e]

Video games were mindless. Everyone knew that. And to be honest, between what had just happened and what he had received afterward, Equius really felt that he needed to be mindless for a couple of hours. Just... he didn't want to be anywhere near that damned place anymore. So he made his way to the media room, jumping at every sound, and focused only on what he needed to: picking a random game. Only then did he realize the console was occupied, and a second later he realized who it was occupied by.

His heart plummeted into his stomach. Oh god, no, not him. Equius wanted nothing to do with that place right now, and that included the people who throttled him in it. But, of course, by that point it was too late to run. So he just kind of slowly... backed... away, with his expression stuck in a form akin to a deer in the headlights.

~*~all~*~ the awkwardness, you mean!!! \o/

[pitiedthefool]

Who in their right mind would even want to be near that damned maze in the first place? At first he doesn't notice who was standing nearby until the moment he noticed the footsteps slowly moving away from him. Maybe it was because of the labyrinth, but he couldn't help but... recognize...

Well, this was awkward.

Yu's eyes narrowed slightly as he put down the controller. He hadn't had access to his Persona when he'd throttled Equius before, and right now he didn't plan to repeat it. Especially since he didn't believe in killing in vengeance and was still too emotionally and mentally exhausted to call forth any of them. The other lucked out in that regard.

He sighed, getting to his feet. If the troll wanted to play, then he'd let him. He couldn't focus on it, anyway.

Awkward party \o/

[mutab1e]

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Every move that Yu made was mirrored by Equius taking a few more steps backward, getting closer and closer to the door. Lucked out or not, he was very well aware of what could happen if he caught Yu on the wrong side of the bed. Even if the human sat there and smiled at him, promised that it was okay, that was what some subjugglators did.

"Oh god," he muttered under his breath. "Um... I..." He was tongue-tied, and he realized it too late. So instead he just stood there, turning up his palms as if waiting for Yu to kill him.

/turns up the music \o/

[pitiedthefool]

Yu raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side before recalling the cruelty exhibited by another of Equius' kind. Right...

He didn't lift a finger, didn't speak as he turned to face the other fully. Not all were like what he'd seen, not cruel like who he knew had the same power he possesses. Yet even in the back of his head, he couldn't help but thinking that the TVs here were far too convenient- No. No one deserved that.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you know." He sticks his hands in his pockets, shrugging nonchalantly. The anger wasn't fully gone from his voice, but he wasn't acting on it. That would make him no better than the shadow of a man he once trusted, or the one who'd killed him in that hellhole. Instead, he merely nodded toward the game system instead. "You wanted to play, didn't you?"

[mutab1e]

Who knew how this human in particular operated? Sure, there were some pacifistic ones who couldn't hurt a fly, but he knew there were also several who could almost match a troll in sheer... well, trolliness. So as usual, he decided that it was best to assume for the worst, and react appropriately. (After all, a few days ago this guy had attacked him, so...)

'Oh god. Oh god. Oh god' was the only thing running through his head, and it was a miracle that he was able to muster up anything else to form a coherent sentence. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I'm sorry." Sure, he had been meaning to apologize if he ever met the person he killed again (oh god he didn't even know who he killed), but he was kind of hoping on being able to run away first. Social competence hero over here.

[pitiedthefool]

The ones who decided to give him a chance and opened up to him, for starters.

"It isn't me you need to apologize to," he replied with a sigh, staring at the other with the most incredulous look he could muster in his current state. He would apologize for losing it, but he had survived his attack and blind anger that was caused by seeing a friend/acquaintance dying in front of him (he would definitely agree that he'd channeled his Other Self at that point for sure).

[mutab1e]

Of course, he had to find the other person as well, yes, yes. Maybe there would be... some way he could divine something about him from speaking with this guy? It wouldn't have to be too obvious, of course, because then he would find out that Equius didn't even know him, and then he would be dead for sure. But it would also involve sticking around and carrying out a conversation... erk. Equius really wanted to just run away right now. It was a decision heavily weighing on his mind. But the last time he tried to run, Yu had caught him, and the human certainly hadn't gotten slower since then.

"I know, I know," he said, quicker than was absolutely necessary. "I... I want to find him too, but..." He almost visibly withered under the force of Yu's stare. "...Since... since you were... here..."

[pitiedthefool]

Yu sighed, shaking his head. This kid seemed scared of his own shadow, much less him. It's almost easier to let go and turn his back on this entire conversation, but then he heard- felt his heart be in protest of that very thought. Damn it... He wasn't really in the mood to deal with it, but this was just a kid. It wasn't in his nature to be pissed at someone for this long, and he was terrified. He had every right to be, with how he'd reacted...

He took a deep breath, mainly to calm himself down and sort out his emotions. No easy feat, considering how he ended up. "...Calm down. I'm not going to attack you again."

[mutab1e]

It seemed as if the third repetition of something to that effect was finally enough to convince Equius to regain his stature... or at least try. Regardless, as Yu took a moment to calm himself, so did he, and after straightening his posture again and brushing nonexistent dirt off his sleeve, Equius looked... somewhat better. At least he could attempt to conduct a conversation in this state.

...Unfortunately, the only thing he could think of to say was, "I'm sorry." Again.

[pitiedthefool]

...So close, but so very far away. Yu resisted the urge to bring a hand to his forehead, but only just as the apology was mentioned again. There had once been a reason he emotionally distanced himself from others (a reason he'd been reminded of this past week). Yet now that they were all back, he realized what his actions had caused, and just how much he relied on others. Not just for power, like Igor had once claimed his Wild Card abilities required, but that he couldn't exist separated from them. That didn't even begin to cover his aversion toward death.

"You wanted to play a game on that console, didn't you?" he asked, deciding it would be best to change the topic for now. "Go ahead; I can't concentrate on it, anyway."

[mutab1e]

Equius nodded quietly, slipping past Yu to check what was in the console; it made no difference to him as long as it was boring and required no extended periods of thought, but he was extremely aware of the other's attention on him, and it wouldn't look good at all to just leave it there after all of the mess he caused. ...Though, he was pretty sure there was no way he could redeem himself in Yu's eyes. He'd killed one of his friends in a fit of terror, run away when Yu got some punches in, and now he nearly flipped out again when they had just happened to meet in the same room. Vacantly, he wondered how he somehow managed to kill (or at least worsen) every problem he touched.

Mostly on autopilot, he picked something especially stupid and threw it in -- though not before hunting around the entire room for the other game's box, and mumbling a bit about how honestly someone needs to clean up every once in a while.

[pitiedthefool]

Whether there was a way to redeem himself or not has yet to be seen. After all, he'd attacked too out of blind rage and nearly paid another, more steep price in doing so. One he wouldn't say to anyone though someone probably sensed the change even just in watching. As for the game box? ...It was in Yu's hand all along. Honestly, what do you think he'd been doing after someone else had moved it--just watching like a creeper? No, that wasn't like him at all. Deal with it, he's a neat freak.

Yu settled into the corner, listening to music instead. Tracks from home were rather calming regardless, especially when it was a familiar voice...

[mutab1e]

Woohoo, neat freak buddies.

He took the box from Yu with thanks that were only slightly more than mumbled, and spent a fair amount of time just cleaning up instead of turning on the game like he had intended. Mundane chores like these were his go-to form of therapy whenever things got too hot to handle, which was often; these were the 'mundane distractions' he favored so much. Every time he tried to do something different in this godforsaken tower, it always metamorphosed into cleaning, cooking, or fixing something in the given room.

Without looking up, he asked, "Where can I find him?" Only after a few moments of silence did he look up and realize that Yu had put on a pair of headphones while he wasn't looking. ...Hoping that Yu hadn't heard, he just went back to sorting everything out.

[pitiedthefool]

He kept things clean until the point in which he was so lost in his inner turmoil that he just didn't care anymore. That had only happened once, and he swore to never let one of his friends or enemies see him like that again. Especially after what's happened so far. Yu nodded in response to the murmured thanks, picking up a few things here and there. One would think that those who frequented the floor would at least keep it remotely organized so others could find what they're looking for, but apparently not.

Though when he began listening to music in doing so, he barely overheard the kid's question. It took him a little while to even say it, but... judging from the continual apologies? The troll was probably more concerned with apologizing.

"...I know his room's on the second dorm floor. Other than that, where he likes to go depends." He doesn't really know Ventus that well--either one of them, actually--so it was a safe guess to say that much at least.