001 ♑ [first honk]

[hystericull]

Characters: OU Gamzee and you!
Setting: Room 1-02, the cafeteria, and anywhere in between!
Format: Either are entirely welcome.
Summary: A doped-up, alien clown awakens in the strangest of places - and decides that he's hungry. Seems like he's got a good handle on priorities. Oh, chocolate shenanigans are good, too, although he hasn't eaten any!
Warnings: None that I can think of, except for Gamzee's filthy mouth.


Room 1-02:
[Sometimes a body just doesn't want to get its motherfuckin' move on. That's cool, though. Whatever it feels like doing, or not doing, is all chill with him. It's not like he wouldn't be laying here motionless anyway. This sure was an uncomfortable way to wake up. The immobility didn't bother him as much as the hard, flat surface he'd been placed upon. It certainly wasn't a recuperacoon - a conclusion he'd only come to because of the depressing lack of sopor slime. It also wasn't his horn pile, which he'd become accustomed to sleeping in while in the Veil. Oh, well! Better not to dwell on such trivial things, and get back at enjoying this wicked nothingness. The crazy feel of paralysis was gone, however, and Gamzee Makara regained his motor skills.

After lamenting the loss of that dope not-moving shit, he rolled not-so-gracefully off of the bed, smacking his large horns on the nightstand and landing with a "thud" on the floor. He'd managed to knock some sheets of paper off of the nightstand on his way down.

Oh. They were letters.

Well, he'd already known Alternia had been destroyed, but he was thankful for whoever wrote the letter to have saved him! And everyone being happy sounded like a fucking awesome time! He wanted to meet the author of this letter - they sounded pretty motherfucking chill.

What wasn't chill was this super-tight jumpsuit he'd been placed in. Who even gets up in a brother's bubble like that? Not that it was a huge deal. He was pretty okay with sharing his personal space, really. He crawled over to the trunk the letter had mentioned, and beamed excitedly when he saw what was inside. Among his usual clothes, which he quickly donned, he proceeded to overturn the chest, spilling bike horns, juggling clubs, and slime all over the floor. This was starting to feel more familiar already!

Eating the slime was not something he probably should have done, but who in their right mind would take an oatmeal-only rule seriously? Better yet, who not in their right mind would even notice that there was an oatmeal-only rule?

Uh-oh. The ol' nutrition sack wasn't feeling too well. In a fit of desperation, he scrambled out of the room and down the hallway.]

Cafeteria:
[After getting situated in his room and having had quite the terrible feeling in his stomach, Gamzee had somehow found his way to the cafeteria. It had taken a while, and he'd ended up going in circles, going into other people's rooms, going back into his own room, and generally unintentionally avoiding the place he'd been searching for.

He didn't really notice the bowl of oatmeal before him, and didn't remember how it got there, for that matter. What was this stuff? It was runny, sloppy, and slid over the edges of its bowl when he wobbled it from side to side (which he was doing quite enthusiastically). It reminded him of a discolored sopor pie... kind of. Hopefully it wouldn't make his digestive sack feel like a bag of angry bees like the pie had, however. He frowned at the thought, momentarily pausing his bowl-spinning game to dip and swirl a few fingers around in the stuff cautiously. The table was full of oatmeal, as were his fingers, now. He was generally making a mess, all while wearing a stupid grin.]

Comments

[hystericull]

[He watches the baton go up, down, left, right, up, down, left, right, up, down...]

Ooooh, so a brother know when he can all up and start droppin' them motherfuckin' wicked slams!? You be gettin' to have some noise you gotta hash out with a brother, Linkbro? Gonna get that noise motherfuckin' flowin' so fast like you shook that Faygo bottle up and now its pouring all down your motherfuckin' hand!?

[cantstopme]

[And he stops a bit, blinking once or twice again. He.... has no clue what you just said, Gamzee.]

... What's "Faygo"?

[hystericull]

[QURL YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE!!! He stares at Link like he's the most depraved child in the universe.]

...Motherfuckin' Faygo, bro! Most wicked of a brother's elixirs! Fizzy shit that all snaps that pan straight up at a locked-in, laid-out, motherfuckin' dope zone, my mystical motherfucker!

[Come on, bro, tell me you've heard of it!?]

[cantstopme]

Nuh-uh, I've never heard of anything like that.

[He thinks for a second though, before pulling a bottle out of his trunk.]

I've got my Grandm's Elixir soup?

[hystericull]

[He pauses, considering. He's never seen that flavor before, but there's a lot of shit he's never seen before! Could be another Faygo miracle to add to the list, which was growing quite long, by the way.]

Shit, this motherfucker ain't never seen an elixir such to be that color! What's it all be tastin' like?

[cantstopme]

Um... Really good!

Do you want to try it? I've got a lot.

[This is just bottle two of three, and each has two servings!! And it never goes bad!!!]

My Grandma made it for me, it's really healthy for you and tastes really great!

[hystericull]

[He's not too fond of things that are "good for you", but he'll try it anyway! Gamzee may not have table manners, or many other manners for that matter, but he'd never disrespect one of his bros!]

Fuckin' yeah, motherfucker! Bottoms the fuck up! Honk!

[He took the bottle of soup from Link, sniffing it at first with his big clown nose like some sort of Faygo connoisseur before tipping his head back and swallowing both servings in one go. Did you even taste that, Gamzee? He's got it all over his face, now.]

[cantstopme]

[Link blinks at that a bit, receiving the empty bottle from his friend and wondering HOW THE HELL DID YOU EAT BOTH SERVINGS THERE WAS SO MUCH IN THERE.]

Did... did you like it?

[hystericull]

[He lapped the excess soup off of his face with a long tongue, trying to remember if he remembered what it tasted like. And then!]

Shit, motherfucker, that make my nutrition sack be all at havin' the most warm and soupy of feelings! Ain't no motherfucker ever gonna get his eating better than what's a bottle of that wicked stew after gettin' his fuckin' munch on of the oaty mess they be dollin' the motherfuck out downstairs!

[What.]

[cantstopme]

Yeah, um... the food here isn't really great, but I guess it's not really bad, either...

But that's why I'm glad I have a lot of my Grandma's soup!

[Pause.]

Uh... had a lot of my Grandma's soup.

[He only has a bottle left. 8(]

[hystericull]

Heyyy, bro, no fuckin' worries! A brother all ready to get his share on with his new little green buddy! I got tons of pie what's back in my mystical motherfuckin' trunk of wonders! Crazy tower 'nappers packed that bitch full of 'em!

[An eager grin, opening his arms wide to indicate endless fields of hallucinogenic pie.]

[cantstopme]

Pie?

[Oh... pie sounds really good actually!! He's only had a couple tastes of it before, because ingredients for desserts like that are hard to come by on the Great Sea, but if Gamzee has a lot of it, then pie it is!!!]

What kind of pie is it? Is it good?

[hystericull]

Fuuuuck, brother, it be a pie made all up out of the purest miracles, for motherfuckin' sure! Make 'em myself all the time! Er, uhh... well, I used to... until, uh, I guess I ain't gonna much do it any more 'til I find myself a good 'coon... Actually been a while since I got to be makin' any, 'cause of the game and stuff.

[He puts a finger to his lip thoughtfully.]

Ah well, shit don't matter none 'cause the miracle trunk all got them bitches packed nice just like a brother's sylladex! Only without all them pretty colors.

[It's Link's turn to hear some Words That Don't Make Any Sense!]

[cantstopme]

[Blink.

Blink blink.]

Well, if it's made of miracles, then it has to be good!

[Yeah, that's all he got out of that.]

[hystericull]

That's the fuckin' spirit, Linkbro! Honk!

[He bounces excitedly, grabbing Link by the hand and running out of the room, down the hallway, around and around until he finally stops for a second.]

Uhhhhhhhhh..............

[cantstopme]

[WHOAH.

WHOAH. CALM YO TITS BRO, HE HAS TINY LEGS AND CAN HARDLY KEEP UP.
But he gives Gamzee a confused face when they stop; a little tired and dizzy from being dragged around by his wrist.]

What's... what's the matter?

[hystericull]

[He looks around stupidly, hanging on to Link's wrist still for no other reason than he forgot he was holding it in the first place.]

Uhhh... I don't all... remember where my motherfuckin' room all went up and got at.

[Headscritch with the other hand.]

[cantstopme]

Well, um... the doors all have signs on them!

We can always look and see which has yours?

[Wow, your... memory is worse than his, Gamzeebro.]

[hystericull]

[Oh! Good idea! Wait, what floor were they on? What floor was his room on? ...Er.]

Whoaa, they do?

[Looking at a door now. Sure enough, there's names on it!]

Uhh... this one doesn't have my name on it... I think... Maybe.

[cantstopme]

Why not help me up so I can see?

[He's too short to read the signs.]

[hystericull]

Oh, motherfuck. Sure thing, little bro!

[He lifts him up under the armpits and throws him into the air haphazardly, maneuvering his horns and head around so Link would land on his shoulders. IT'S OKAY LINK HE'S A PROFESSIONAL TRUST HIM......]

That better?

[cantstopme]

[The kid lets out a yelp at being flung into the air, but holds onto his horns once he lands, a little shaken. It's a good thing he's used to being shot through the air, and it's even better that he didn't hit his face against a wall this time.]

...M-mhm. I can read the signs now, at least.


... Oh! Uh... you never told me your name, you know.

[hystericull]

[Hopefully his gravity defying curls aren't obstructing your view too much, Link. He'll try looking up and over at him in surprise after he hears he hasn't introduced himself. No, you can't see him, he's on your shoulders, stupid.]

Ohhhhhh damn, sorry, Linkbro.

Name's Gamzee. Uh, Makara. But you can just call me Gamzee... 'cause what's a brother need with two names anyhow?

[cantstopme]

[Nah, the curls are way past cool. He can just... flatten them down.
... Or actually since that's not working, Gamzee gets his hat for a bit so Link can see over his hair.]

Alright, Gamzee! That's really neat - I have a friend named Makar and a new friend named Makara!

[He's easily amused, ok.]

[hystericull]

[Excuse him as he freaks out with joy at getting to wear his bro's rad green stocking-thingy! He brings the tail around over his shoulder and fiddles with it with his fingers.]

Whoaa, that be mighty fuckin' confusing for a motherfucker! You can be all to call me somethin' else if you wanna. This almost-same-name brother in the magic tower with us, now?

[He starts wandering aimlessly, pausing at each door to check the names on the plaques.]