002 ✘ and i rationed my breaths ✘ backdated to 4/22

[worldsapart]

Characters: AU4 Xion and YOU
Setting: [01] Dorm halls ; [02] cafeteria ; [03] floor eleven
Format: I'll match you!
Summary: Xion/Soraface/Fey kept herself locked away in her room for a week (except for the collar check-up) after her death. Finally, she's dragging herself out
Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST


[ 00 ; room 2-01 ]
[Falling... falling... into darkness...]


[ 01 + 02; dorm halls and cafeteria ]
[If you happen to be in the dormitory hallways, there's someone you're likely to see. There's a black-coated small figure with a full head of brown spiky hair making his(?) way towards the stairs. If you get a good look at their face, it's pretty clear they're out of it. And, somehow, the hair is more messy than it should be. Whoo, bedhead.

In the cafeteria, Xion can be found sitting by herself, picking at the food on her plate. Despite the almost overwhelming force of her hunger, she doesn't... really want to eat. She knows she needs to, because it would maybe give her the energy to combat how absolutely tired she feels, but... bleh.]


[ 03 ; floor eleven ]
[She died.

That's what happened, right? They had found her otherself, Axel had grabbed her, and then they turned to fight all the way back down... It wasn't that she was tired, or hurt too bad, or anything. She was doing fine. With Oathkeeper and Oblivion drawn and Riku and Sora at her side, she had felt like maybe... she could take on the world, you know? She thought that they were gonna be okay. And then, and then -- She doesn't know how it happened, where it came from, but that not-Heartless bird came in and knocked her feet out from under her, carried her off the ramp, and then she was falling. She tried to Aerial Recover, but she was too far away, she couldn't grab the ledge, and Oblivion couldn't break through the stone enough to hook on, and she...

And then she died. Because that's what happens when you fall from a who-knows-how-tall tower, right?

But she's here. She's still here, somehow. She's even managed to find ice cream. It's not sea-salt -- it doesn't really taste like much of anything, really -- but it's ice cream in bar-on-a-stick form, and the familiarity is all she can ask for right now. That's why she decided to seek out this floor after she found the ice cream. It isn't, and won't ever be, the Twilight Town clock tower. But, then... She doesn't want it to be. That would bring back too many bad memories right now.

Your... friend? Roxas, do you think I could be a friend?

When Axel gets back, let's ask him. Then all three of us can have ice cream together!

It hurts. She manages to fight back a sob by distracting herself with ice cream.]

It's not salty... and it's barely even sweet. [She tries to smile a little, for herself. For him. She whispers,] Eating ice cream by yourself... really isn't the same, is it, Roxas?

Comments

[worldsapart]

[Xion tries to ignore her red face by focusing on her ice cream for a moment.]

S... So. Where should we start?

[capax_infiniti]

Well, I suppose it depends on when you would like to begin, and what you would like to learn first. There are a few things that I would only teach to an apprentice, but there is still more than enough subject matter to cover that would be beneficial for you to learn.

[worldsapart]

[Xion fidgets with the stick of her ice cream and wonders what it would be like to be an apprentice, to have a dedicated teacher. The Organization pretty much tossed her out on her own after teaching her the basics of combat.

... or... was that what happened with Roxas? Normally, she doesn't remember her beginning days too well. She shakes her head to dispel the thoughts.]

Well... Earlier, there was something about darkness. I don't remember what, though. [Things have happened since then. She's been rather preoccupied.]

[capax_infiniti]

[Oh. Well, that is a subject which he is well-versed. It's simply a matter of how much he shares with her... and how to set the stage.]

Darkness... quite a broad category, indeed. However, regardless of what any person may think or say, one must always understand that it is a natural force of the universe and has existed even beyond the universe itself.

[worldsapart]

Beyond the universe?

[It sounds like it's story time. She's learned how to pick up on story times from Axel. He likes to tell stories, after all.]

[capax_infiniti]

One could say that the universe as we know it was born from the darkness. From the darkness, points of light emerged, that eventually formed the hearts of all the worlds.

[He gestures with one hand, the other holding the stick of his ice cream steady even though he's not focusing on it anymore. If there's one thing he enjoys speaking about, it's this sort of thing.]

[worldsapart]

[... you know

this is starting to sound

awfully familiar

There's a pause. Then, innocently,]

How old are you?

[capax_infiniti]

How old do I seem?

[worldsapart]

[..........................

Xion may or may not shrink. Guhhhhhhhhh why didn't she think that through.]

I -- I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to be rude, I just --

N-Nevermind.

[capax_infiniti]

[He gives her a look, lips pressed together tightly, hands curling slightly.]

It is better to speak your mind and remove ambiguity than to let it fester and sow the seeds of doubt.

I've lived seven decades within this World, and have learned much in my time. I have little to be ashamed of.

[worldsapart]

[... oh no. Now he's... angry? Is that what that look is? Xion wishes she could discreetly hide in her hood.]

I... I just -- I think I've heard something like that before. The worlds starting in darkness... But how does anyone really know how the worlds started?

[capax_infiniti]

[He leans forward in interest, his previous expression lost]

... do you remember where you may have heard this? Or who was speaking?

From my research and study, I have found a possible answer. However, it is one I dare not share with the uninitiated...

... keyword irony ha ha ha

[worldsapart]

[She risks glancing at him when he moves, and then blinks quickly in surprise. He seems so intent. But what should she say? "I kind of sort of accidentally absorbed this kid's memories and I heard it from there"? That gets into a whole mess she doesn't want to deal with. Besides, it would get them off-topic, so the only thing to do is lie, right?

She feels bad about it, but...]

No... I don't remember. Sorry.

I guess we can talk about something else, then.

ohhhh fey

[capax_infiniti]

[FEY LYING IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD]

A pity. I'd like to speak with someone else who would possess such knowledge. It's rare indeed for anyone to know such things...

Very well. What else would you like to me to start with, Xion?

[worldsapart]

[... uhhh. ummm. errrrr.

What else does she want to learn about? She combs her mind over everything that happened back home.

Was the concept of the replica born from the Organization? Can Kingdom Hearts really restore a heart to a Nobody? What is Kingdom Hearts? Why is it made from hearts? What exactly is the Keyblade?

Ah... Wait. There.]

The way you talk about it... Is it normal, for Keybearers to be taught by other Keybearers?

[capax_infiniti]

[OH YOU YOUNG KIDS WHAT IS THE NEXT GENERATION COMING TO]

Certainly, it is the proper way for one to be trained. A master provides the necessary skills and knowledge for a pupil, as well as one to answer questions and share experience in the difficulties of bearing the key. With one's master, a relationship is formed that can never be broken, no matter time or space. The blade is passed from one heart to another should the receiver be so worthy.

1/2

[worldsapart]

You can... pass down the Keyblade?

[It certainly is news to her. She looks down at her empty hand, brow furrowed. Maybe from the outside, it looks like she's trying to contemplate the idea. But inside, a strange, almost sick feeling is taking over her. Is that why... she can wield two Keyblades? Because Roxas passed his on to her? Her heart constricts and for a moment, she forgets how to breathe. She closes her hand into a fist.

Roxas... You didn't have to do that. I'll be fine...

... thank you.

She exhales slowly and relaxes her hand again.]

2/2

[worldsapart]

[The concept that passing Keyblades on is the only way for someone to get one doesn't cross her mind. "This is just one way for it to happen," she reads it as.]

Of the Keybearers I know... None of us have any masters. We're all self-taught. I hadn't even heard about having a master until now.

Re: 2/2

[capax_infiniti]

Whether or not you have a master, it was still passed in some way. The keyblade does not simply manifest within one's heart. It is a line, not a point. It comes from somewhere, even if that source is unknown.

It is an unfortunate thing, as much is lost. We are a dying breed, keybearers. That there is a new generation is gratifying, but the lack of formal training is depressing.

[worldsapart]

[Well. She knows where hers come from. One of them isn't a natural Keyblade, and the other...

I can't believe it... You're still looking out for me, even after what I've done.

She really needs to stop thinking about it, or else she's going to start crying in front of Xehanort and then she'd have to explain why and that's just all kinds of awkward and no. But it's hard to. Now, for some reason, her heart feels... light. Almost like it's breathing again. (When did it stop?)

Get back on topic. Stay focused. C'mon.

We are a dying breed. For some reason, Xion's eyes are back on her free hand. After a moment, she finds herself muttering,]

I almost wonder if it'd be better if there weren't Keyblades.

[capax_infiniti]

The wheres and whys of the blade are hardly understood. The pedigree of our hearts is why you and I and the others can wield, but it is true enough that the key can do both harm as much as good. It is the role of the Master to provide the proper information... to prepare the initiate for the long and difficult road of bearing, to educate in both light and darkness in equal measure, to teach strength and perseverance and to shed fear for confidence.

[He bows his head slightly]

I fear that most masters have failed in this regard, and those keys poorly prepared and ill-wielded have done their share of wrongs.

[worldsapart]

[hahahahahaha. oh, he thinks she got her Keyblade because -- hahaha

haha

oh god she feels terrible

She kind of folds up on herself a little more at that whole "the pedigree of our hearts" part.]

The Keybearers I know... They're all good people. But even if they're good... [She thinks of the Organization, and all the lengths they took to get control of Sora's Keyblade. Her expression darkens, and she stares fiercely at her knees.] That doesn't stop others from trying to take advantage of them, and hurting others in the process.

[capax_infiniti]

It is only natural for people to desire power or to crave what they cannot have. A keybearer who is ill-prepared for the truth of the universe is not prepared to deal with those who would seek that power for themselves, or to manipulate it indirectly. Perhaps our decline is the proper way of things, masters with little true knowledge or understanding only giving their pupils half the knowledge they need to survive simply paves the way for needless suffering.

Even without keyblades, the world would not be any different. People would simply seek other avenues of power for themselves. To think otherwise is simply delusion. On some worlds who have never seen the touch of a keyblade, magic is held in the same esteem. On other worlds, high technology. There is always a vehicle for greed, it is simply the shape that changes...

[worldsapart]

[Xion seems far away throughout his speech. Maybe she doesn't want to focus on the fact that darkness never changes, or maybe her thoughts are elsewhere. She's listening, though, she really is. Her brow furrows deeper as he goes on.]

I guess it's true... that some things never change. [But... She knows not everyone is thirsty for power, and willing to do anything to get it. So it doesn't bother her as much as it might have otherwise.] But that just means that where there is that darkness, there is also light that is just as consistent. So not all hope is lost.

[capax_infiniti]

It does not do to think that darkness is simply to blame. There can be greed and anger and hate just as easily within light. These are concepts described by others, not indications of what light and darkness truly are. They are the foundations of the universe and in everything. Fearing or despising one in favour of another does far more harm than good...

Hope is never lost when one keeps strong and strives forward. Were I to have let go of my own dreams, surely I would have fallen into despair from the losing battle long ago.