towerofanimus | Infighting Week Two

No. Nuh-uh. Nope. You can do all sorts of terrible things to John -- kill him, maim him, you could replace his tongue with seaweed for all he cared -- but you do not make his friends cry. It's immediately obvious that the shaking and whimpering was coming from Romeo, and seeing the tears in his eyes was all the invitation John needed. Without any further ado, he stepped over and wrapped Romeo in a hug.

[He nuzzles into Alcor's hand.]

I know so. We'll get out of this soon enough. Okay?

[He puts a paw up, batting at the star's hand.]

[Luke glanced at her, not able to hear what she said, but able to hear the concern in her mind. He raised a shaking hand, gently touching her forehead.]

Good, I am glad to hear that. I'll worry much less so long as I know you will be alright.

[Legolas wouldn't let Jason or Riki's pod win. He'd see what happened to those that were stuck with Jason, at last weeks deaths.]

Ivan was frowning. He didn't particularly mind people getting killed off--no, that happened every day. But that Romeo was so distraught over it, bothered him. Surely the child shouldn't watch such things. He slowly moved, leaning down beside the young boy, taking the corner of his shirt, bunching it up as much as he could so there would be as much distance between it and his hands as possible, not wanting to freeze the other or cause him pain. He carefully rubbed at the other's tears with his shirt, as careful and gentle as possible.

"Do not be looking, malchik... Is okay. Just no looking, da?"

She returns the smile, a little uncertain. At least the other girl is feeling somewhat better, right...?

But still, there's just a slight feeling that something might be wrong...

"Ah? What can I do for you, Sayaka-san?"

[He puts a hand on Kidou's shoulder, attempting to be comforting.]

It'll be okay somehow. Besides, I'm not scared.

[He actually is but he's had enough practice being indifferent to pretend that he isn't.]

It doesn't matter if you're scared or not, Sakuma. I don't want to watch you die.

If it can't be helped, it can't be helped. Your group has to lose someone too, you know. You should worry about yourself first.

The chances of me being the one to go are less then the chances of you going. Your group has to lose five people, that's a lot. And if no one votes, then there's a better chance of you going.

Fuck.

[Karkat instantly begins to pale and wastes no time in barreling away from the group to try and avoid the retrieval drones, though they chase him down without much difficulty. He fights and flails like a rabid cat, biting, scratching and clawing anything he can the sharper points of his body on. Unfortunately, he is mostly weak in the physical realm of things, and his powers continue to fizzle on the drones dragging him toward the tube. They disable him without much trouble, though not enough to knock him out.

He hadn't voted, and it seemed he was now being punished for his inaction. While under normal circumstances, he would have agreed that it was better him than someone else, now that he was actually facing death yet again, he would've begged for any other option. He screeches, he yells incoherently, he claws and fights and struggles even after he's in the tube. Thanks to the treatment in Riki's pod, most of his sanity had left the building.

Whoever is unfortunate enough to be stuffed around him will feel the brunt of his utter insanity as he struggles until his skin is rubbed raw, long before the tube even begins to pinch them. In fact, he shamelessly uses the other people he's stuffed in with to try and climb out, survival instinct supremely winning out over common sense. Only when he is finally forced still by the compression does he stop moving and proceed to hyperventilate before cerulean is finally splattered messily in the glass and Karkat is put to rest.]

Huh. I wonder why they keep arguing where we can see if they're working together here. Cause that's kinda weird. It seems like a trick. [Experience and his own job as a thief have made Zidane suspicious.]

Do they have a boss or something? Somebody behind the scenes?

[Zidane's willing to let it go.]

I got your back, Kuja. And I got everybody else's back, if they need it. I won't let them mess with me like that.

Zidane had no problem giving out hugs, so he gave Taiki one now. "I wish I knew. I know it's hard and people are gonna be hurt. But that's why we gotta stay strong, for them. There's gotta be a way out of here, and if we stick together, we can find it. Y'know, if something happened to me, I wouldn't blame anybody else here, I'd blame the guys in charge." He wasn't about to give up.

"And we come back. We'll come back and fight again."

[Yosuke really isn't sure how to handle his partner right now. There's so many conflicting emotions swirling around his head he doesn't know where to start. There's disappointment and anger, at Yu's decision to have voted for someone the previous week. To do an action tantamount to killing someone. There's fear and guilt, because looking at Yu it's not hard to deduce that he's had to go through hell each and every week. Then sadness and even more guilt at not being with them, at not being able to suffer with the rest of his team. They've been through so much together, endured so much, so why? Why does he get this when they have to go through that?]

[Still, with all his inner turmoil, he knows at least that he can't continue to ignore Yu. So he approaches his partner, still unsure of what path to take]

[For better or worse, his emotions choose for him. When he sees Yu in a heap on the floor, so pathetic and vulnerable, so weak, something inside him snaps. Rage wins out over the other emotions, and he finds his hands balling into fists as his voice comes out, tense and strained]

The hell are you doing down there? Get up.

-sometimes that's all we can ever do.

[It's admitted under his breath, but he understood what Jun was trying to say. After all, hadn't he once tried to give up before under a Curse only to hear their voices call out for him? True, he wasn't face down yet (he'd be damned if he ever was again), and he still had two good legs...]

... You're right.

[That was more than what his friends could say. If nothing else, he had to stand tall for them. Powerless, weakened, and alive. Shakily, he begins to place more weight on his feet, getting up. AS he did so, he couldn't help but ask:]

You're one of Michel's friends, right? [He chuckles weakly.] If you see him before I do, tell him he could use a few vocal lessons.

[He's partly kidding, partly serious, and overall just trying to distract from the hell they're both feeling.]

[The silence between them has been one of the hardest things to endure... He knows he messed up, and he's messed up royally. He can't go back and fix this, and he may not even be able to make up for what he did either... but he had to try. Had to do something to make amends. Not just to England-san, but all the people he let down.

One of them was definitely the voice he could hear over the din of the crowd, fretting and worrying about who would be next. What would happen to those who did die, if they would be able to face them... This week, his group didn't have to worry about it, but it didn't negate any of the guilt he felt... Even the other who'd voted last time hadn't taken it well until he literally couldn't feel anymore. That had sickened him even more...

It's quiet at first, but he does indeed speak.]

...C-couldn't stomach it.

[The 'food', the guilt, watching Kanji be unable to really speak, Naoto losing even more of herself to Jason's schemes, his own self-loathing... Take your pick; it's probably right. What was even more true was that this gnawing emptiness was quickly filling with a searing-yet-numb anger at two tower administrators in particular.]

I'm sorry. ['For so many things... I don't even know where to begin.' He tries to stand on his own, but his legs are shaky. ...He's probably lost some weight over the last two weeks, along with something else. One thing he didn't lose? His pride.]

[It's infuriating, seeing him like this. Seeing them all like this. He doesn't know where the fury's supposed to be directed anymore; the directors, Yu, himself, but he's literally boiling over with it and he wants nothing more than to punch someone in the face. Even if it's just himself]

[Lucky for Yu, he doesn't get a punch to the face, or a boot to the head, or anything else. Of all things, he gets a hand extended from Yosuke. He doesn't have to stand on his own]

Save your damn apologies, and get up. We're supposed to be equals, so get on your feet.

[What Yosuke can see is only half of it. The scores had knocked the wind even further away from what was left of his sails, and without his own Strength, he wasn't sure how he could. But those words cut like a knife, and while they hurt... there's a hand. How ironic with his determination being what kicked him out of his anti-social, "who gives a damn when I'll be gone soon, anyway?" corner.

He takes that hand without question, because he knows he needs the help, getting to his feet with his friend's help. Though part of him feels like the punch to the face would feel better right now, maybe knock some sense into him that left with Izanagi--]

Right. [The smirk is weak and wry, but it's there; a ghost of what it once was. But that cold determination? It was still there, buried in his eyes beneath the regret. He... he has to admit this much:]

...That score for cooperation. ['Why...'] Guess I should have waited a day before seconding Sayaka's notion to destroying the treadmills.

[His bad, along with murder.]

Save it.

[He's glad you're on your feet partner, but he could do without the smirk. He could do without the words that seem empty or the effort to pretend to be the person you once were. Yosuke stares at Yu, but there's no warmth in that gaze, and the fire raging inside him comes out in his words]

I don't want to hear apologies, or excuses. I don't give a damn about the score right now. For the next few minutes, none of that crap matters.

[He's managing to get through his words, but for anyone watching closely, there are tears forming in his eyes. He doesn't give a damn who sees either, there are important questions to ask. His voice doesn't raise though - it stays quiet, almost a whisper, and all the more intense for it]

I want to know what they did to you. I want to know how they made you, you of all people, fall apart.

I want to know how they changed my partner into just some guy willing to take a life.

[The act is better than what he's feeling right now.... and he'd rather not be like this at all. The dead, empty feeling of a void that just won't go away... hearing their voices in the deepest reverberations in his mind and soul, trying to destroy him from the inside out and give him as much pain as possible when their powers aren't sealed. Who would?

He can't give an excuse, because Yosuke could be in danger of being the next one killed. He can't apologize anymore, because those words just won't come to him now. All he can do is stare into those cold, hate-filled eyes and do his best not to cringe... try and give him the answers. The easiest way? Hahaha... he couldn't even lie about it.]

It wasn't just what they did to me...

[What scares him the most is that his voice doesn't even waver when he admits it. In fact, the anger is fueling his own flames.]

In that hell, we're all forced to watch... to listen to the screams when they can't hold it in any longer. It's worse than a thousand curses just to hear it. One slowly being turned into an obedient cyborg, surgically attaching "headphones" [It's pretty obvious they aren't just for listening to music, judging by the guy's face] to where ears used to be, another just a little kid being mutilated to the point he looks like a cross between human, moose, and insect...

[He pauses, the strength of his voice finally starting to waver.]

...You've seen Naoto lately, right? [Because watching that... not being able to do a damn thing to help her or Kanji...] ...Kanji can't even say his own name, anymore...!

[Yu can't tell whether it's anger or despair behind his words, but... Yosuke asked. Just... give him a moment to follow his own advice and calm down.

...

After a moment, he continues. It's too easy to slip into an all too familiar tone.]

The first week... I watched. We all struggled as much as we could, but when we were selected for 'surgery', the retrieval units paralyze us ahead of time. All they did was drill a hole in my forehead and inject me with something. That's all.

But then... all of them began to whisper, to say things were acceptable. Everything was fine; this numbness and pain in hearing their cries was reality and we had to accept it. ...I couldn't, and it drove me over the edge to see England-san barely being able to breathe when all I had to do was try and tune them out.

[He gazes down at the ground, regret written all over his otherwise emotionless mask.]

I did my best to make up for it, in spite of Alice wanting to play with the others... in spite of Lucifer whispering words of doubt and Izanagi's disapproval. I was about to burn the balance beams when the retrieval units came for me again.

[... Yu can't finish.]

Edited 2012-06-19 09:34 (UTC)

[Of course, it makes sense. They couldn't just do something to him. That'd never break him, not in a thousand years. Yosuke's entirely convinced they could have done the worst thing possible to Yu, and he'd have come out the other side. But no, the worst thing they could do to him was to break the other people around him, one by one. Hurt those closest to him, hurt the innocent. Shatter them to shatter him]

[He still doesn't condone what Yu did. He could never condone voting to end someone's life. But now he understands why it happened, and where his anger needs to be directed. And it works, to a certain extent - even strengthening his resolve. Whatever he has to do, he will make sure that Jason does not win, no matter the cost. Whatever it costs him]

[And step one of making sure Jason doesn't win is trying to fix this mess of a partner in front of him. His hands are already in fists - convenient! He takes one of those and plants it into Yu's arm, not bothering to hold back this time. It's a friendly punch, but it's something more as he allows his voice to raise]

Get it together, dammit!

[He takes a second to calm himself back down, because he knows if he keeps shouting, he's going to lose it]

... of course I've seen them. I've seen how each and every person has come out of your hell. But you know what else I see? You've forgotten just who the hell you are.

Now look at me, dammit!

[And he refuses to continue until Yu has done just that]

No matter how bad it gets for them, no matter what hell they go through, they'll look to you for support. I won't pretend you've been through a walk in the park, but I don't care. You kept it together when you thought we died for you one by one, and you will keep it together now. You will do it for them, and even it seems impossible, you will do it.

Am I clear?

[After a moment of hesitation, he gave an ever so slight nod. In the end, that's all they had kept doing until the very end. Just kept fighting, even when everything was gone or forgotten.

He watched Yu stand up and half thought to hold his hand out to help him up. He stopped midway however, his hand hovering for a moment before he returned it to his side.]

Yeah. [He said with a nod, and half a chuckle.] We'd try to tell him, but he'd never listen to us.

[OW, SON OF A-]

[He isn't sure whether it's shock or something else that keeps him from saything anything. Hell, it may just be his powerlessness that stops him from speaking for a moment as it all hits him again just like Yosuke's fist. How he manages not to be bruised as hell after all the times they've punched each other, he has no idea. What he is sure of?

He's glad that he has at least one friend who was still sane and able to speak. Almost ironic, considering the myth behind their Per...sonas...]

You're right. I did lose my way.

[Yu rubs his arm gently, not letting it show much otherwise just how much that hurt, even if friendly and then some. Yosuke's right. Just like in the labyrinth and the aftermath... he's let himself go in a way he can't condone or take back. No amount of Expression or Understanding can change it, and maybe it's better that way.

And after that thought crosses his mind, he does indeed look as his right hand man again. He couldn't admit his pure fear and grief when that had happened, and he certainly couldn't describe all that went through his head as he heard their voices leading him through the fog of lies and to accepting his true power... especially since now that power is gone. What he could do? Nod, and promise one thing:]

...No one else is dying because of me.

[His gaze falters a moment before he turns his head to look toward the stage. He has no idea how or why, but the wild anger suddenly calms into the usual icy facade as fast as a switch flicking into the 'on' position.]

I'm completely powerless now, and while I can hear the others' Personas... I still have my free will. [It's more than can be said for others... and his eyes narrow. Partner... you should know that look by now.] ...I can't let any of you down, anymore.

['Right, Nanako?']

Infighting Week Two

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