舞園さやか sayaka maizono (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
intuitions) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2012-06-26 07:54 pm
intuitions) wrote in towerofanimus2012-06-26 07:54 pm
01. party's over and you don't look so good
Characters: Sayaka Maizono AND YOU!
Setting: Initially room 2-03, eventually in various spots around the dormitories on all floors.
Format: I'll be doing action brackets, but anything goes.
Summary: Girl wakes up, girl freaks out, girl goes exploring.
Warnings: Warning for Dangan Ronpa spoilers!
[When Sayaka comes to, there's no screaming or crying. There's no panic, no fear, not even anger. What there is, is nothing. An expression of utter emptiness, like the mask that served as her entire personality had been stripped away without mercy or ceremony. She sits up and looks around blankly - this is a room? Yes, a room. And this is not a shower stall but a bed, this is not Hope's Peak but somewhere entirely different.
How?
How can that be?
Was it all a dream?
Sayaka shudders, a hundred ugly images flashing through her mind, and the movement calls attention to a new and strange weight around her neck. Her fingers come up to gently brush against her violet collar; there's a dumb, puzzled noise low in her throat. Then she notices the letters, sitting there so innocently, as if they belonged here more than she ever could. With stiff, mechanical movements, Sayaka opens each one and reads them over and over until the words finally manage to sink in. Her world was destroyed? Everyone and everything, all gone, all wiped out in an instant? Even Naegi-kun and the rest....
Oh, why do you care? a thin, hateful voice pipes up, after what you did, why do you care about him? About any of them?
She winces, lets out a sigh, and shelves the rising guilt in favor of easing herself off the bed. Her expression begins to smooth out, regaining some semblance of normalcy; the blankness fades, and Sayaka just looks tired and confused. Well, first things first: for some reason, she was breathing again. She was warm, and alive, and awake. That was a step, at least, if in what direction Sayaka couldn't hope to guess. She goes to kneel in front of her trunk and opens it with the wariness of one expecting a dozen snakes rather than anything nice.]
....ah? These are- these are my things....why is this here? [Referring to her microphone, which Sayaka sets aside with furrowed brows. She does the same for other objects - clothes, a sewing kit, some toiletries. And so on, until Sayaka pulls out something that makes her utterly shut down for a few minutes: a kitchen knife, the blade smeared red almost to the hilt, the blood old but still oh so bright.
Sayaka's throat works desperately as she stares at the weapon that had ended her life (for what else could it be? that was her blood all over it) before something small and fragile inside her head snaps and she throws the thing away with all her strength.]
Ahhh! Ahhhhh!!
[She scrambles away, aiming to flee the room and run - where? anywhere, as long as it was away from that horrid reminder of her death and greatest shame.
When she eventually calms down, Sayaka can be found peering cautiously into any dormitory room she comes across, obviously looking for someone. By now she's smiling, but the expression is tight and strained.]
Setting: Initially room 2-03, eventually in various spots around the dormitories on all floors.
Format: I'll be doing action brackets, but anything goes.
Summary: Girl wakes up, girl freaks out, girl goes exploring.
Warnings: Warning for Dangan Ronpa spoilers!
[When Sayaka comes to, there's no screaming or crying. There's no panic, no fear, not even anger. What there is, is nothing. An expression of utter emptiness, like the mask that served as her entire personality had been stripped away without mercy or ceremony. She sits up and looks around blankly - this is a room? Yes, a room. And this is not a shower stall but a bed, this is not Hope's Peak but somewhere entirely different.
How?
How can that be?
Was it all a dream?
Sayaka shudders, a hundred ugly images flashing through her mind, and the movement calls attention to a new and strange weight around her neck. Her fingers come up to gently brush against her violet collar; there's a dumb, puzzled noise low in her throat. Then she notices the letters, sitting there so innocently, as if they belonged here more than she ever could. With stiff, mechanical movements, Sayaka opens each one and reads them over and over until the words finally manage to sink in. Her world was destroyed? Everyone and everything, all gone, all wiped out in an instant? Even Naegi-kun and the rest....
Oh, why do you care? a thin, hateful voice pipes up, after what you did, why do you care about him? About any of them?
She winces, lets out a sigh, and shelves the rising guilt in favor of easing herself off the bed. Her expression begins to smooth out, regaining some semblance of normalcy; the blankness fades, and Sayaka just looks tired and confused. Well, first things first: for some reason, she was breathing again. She was warm, and alive, and awake. That was a step, at least, if in what direction Sayaka couldn't hope to guess. She goes to kneel in front of her trunk and opens it with the wariness of one expecting a dozen snakes rather than anything nice.]
....ah? These are- these are my things....why is this here? [Referring to her microphone, which Sayaka sets aside with furrowed brows. She does the same for other objects - clothes, a sewing kit, some toiletries. And so on, until Sayaka pulls out something that makes her utterly shut down for a few minutes: a kitchen knife, the blade smeared red almost to the hilt, the blood old but still oh so bright.
Sayaka's throat works desperately as she stares at the weapon that had ended her life (for what else could it be? that was her blood all over it) before something small and fragile inside her head snaps and she throws the thing away with all her strength.]
Ahhh! Ahhhhh!!
[She scrambles away, aiming to flee the room and run - where? anywhere, as long as it was away from that horrid reminder of her death and greatest shame.
When she eventually calms down, Sayaka can be found peering cautiously into any dormitory room she comes across, obviously looking for someone. By now she's smiling, but the expression is tight and strained.]
no subject
After a long few minutes, Maizono lets out a sigh. Some of the tension leaves her slim, petite frame; her blue eyes lose their earlier fire, and are instead nothing but tired. Her voice is quiet and calm when she speaks up again.]
The retarded bear... - you mean Monobear? What are you talking about? He's not the sort to care about that. Our lives....they don't mean anything to someone like him.
[She studies Leon's face then, unsure what to make of the despair and fear she can see written all over it.]
What did he do, Kuwata-kun?
1 / 2 forever oops
And by the time he realises she's speaking again, moments have already passed. And the question brings back so many vivid memories he had been trying to not think about too much that they almost spill out without him having to consciously decide to tell.. but even so, he wants to tell her this, wants to know what she caused him (or what he caused himself, but it's a minefield he doesn't want to enter), to be able to feel the despair there-- ]
I guess you deserve to know, huh? [ But despite the fact that he's not yelling (yet, perhaps) there is something bitter in his tone that quickly mixes with something akin to fear - the fear he experienced that day. ] Since with a few seconds difference it would have been you in my fucking place..!
[ No, he can't give into his temper this easily, it'd prevent him from telling all this, so he tries to breathe and calm down for once, as difficult as it is. ]
No way 'graduating' was as easy as we thought it was. The moment they found you [ he refrains from saying 'your body' ] that fucking bear announced that there would be a trial to determine who the culprit was so they could be punished.. He was suddenly making up that shit out of nowhere! Because of that everyone was after me-- do you even know what it feels like to be hounded by that many people all of a sudden, Maizono?! All because of something I didn't even plan..!
And.. well, of course they found me out. And that wasn't even my fault, it was all because of that message you left..! [ - once again her fault in his mind. ] Because you wrote my name on the wall and I didn't realise earlier.. they figured out what it said and the suspicion went from Naegi to me since then all the shit that happened came to light. And they all voted me as.. guilty..
2 / 3 OOPS it's expanding
[ At this point he raises his voice purely out of how worked up he gets at the very memory of it all. His words come so quickly and loudly at this point that it'd be difficult for her to even get a word inbetween it all even if she felt like it. ]
But just saying 'he killed me' wouldn't be enough, right?! Don't you want to know every fucking detail of that whole thing? Won't you feel happy knowing you still somehow got your revenge on your murderer, huh?!
3 / 4 THE LAST ONE IS SHORT THOUGH OK
He dragged me off in chains and-- .. [ he swallows. ] Shit.. That retarded bear left me tied up in some freaky batting cage..
[ A hand shoots to his forehead, as if he's making sure he's really here, really unharmed even after all that, with as vivid as the memory of his death still is, his face growing pale again - his legs shake just slightly beneath him, but he remains standing. ]
And then he shot baseballs at me with his fucking cannon until I died..!
okay feel free to murder me for the tl;dr now
[ And honestly, he does mean that last part - even in a way that makes their blames equal, he would gladly have let her kill him if it meant not having to endure that execution. ]
/cheerfully stabs
There's no joy to be had when Leon tells her the truth. There's not even a bitter vindication when he recounts how her dying message had proven to be the nail in his coffin at the trial, the most damning piece of evidence that had gotten him executed. There's no guilt either, exactly.....because in that sense, Leon was simply reaping what he had sowed when he had chosen to break into the bathroom rather than leave her be with her broken wrist. All there is, is despair. The emotion Monobear desired above all, what he wished to cultivate in all of them. Here, at least, he had gotten his wish.....
....and yet, that's not quite right. There's something other than despair - there's relief, dim but there, that she hadn't doomed Naegi after all. It's a frail and perhaps selfish emotion, but it allows Maizono to live with herself, gives her the strength to continue on.]
...Kuwata-kun...
[There's a sudden, sharp burning at the corners of her eyes; she closes them to fight off the encroaching tears, dimly shocked at herself for their existence. How could she feel like crying over this person? She hadn't even allowed herself to cry for her own sake, not since early childhood. And he was still her murderer. He still had the nerve to selfishly pin the full weight of all this blame on her and her alone.
And that is why Maizono doesn't apologize. It's still far too soon for that - an admittance of fault and acceptance of blame that's beyond her even if she felt inclined to reach for it. This is a messy, complicated situation that neither of them are capable of handling in the best way, the proper way, the sensible and mature way. When Maizono tries to sort through her conflicted and muddled feelings, the only conclusion that doesn't slip away or crumble in her fingers is this: she doesn't hate Leon, and she doesn't want to fight him. But neither can she forgive him for his part in their mutual destruction, no more than Maizono can forgive herself for her own.
Perhaps, just maybe, she'll be capable of such a thing one day....but today is not that day.
Still, it's somewhere to begin. And since they were going to be trapped here together for the foreseeable future, even such a dismal starting point was better than nothing. No, it was actually quite a big step up from open hostility or an angry, seething tension on the verge of exploding into violence.
Maizono swallows hard and searches for her words. For the right thing to say, or as much as she can manage, to try and broker an uneasy but necessary truce between them. Eventually, they come to her - arrange themselves in her mind, take on known and graspable shapes - and when Maizono opens her eyes again, it seems as though she couldn't force back all the tears in the end. They roll down her cheeks and drip off her chin, at odds with the quiet, even tone of her voice.]
...of course I'm not happy about that. It sounds- it sounds horrible. Everything....everything about that place was horrible. For both of us. [A shaky breath. Maizono slowly takes a step toward Leon.] It's bad enough that we're....that we've already faced the same thing, isn't it? [And here it's obvious enough that she means death, that great equalizer of all humans.] We're not going to be friends, but- we don't have to be enemies, either.
[Another step, and then she stops. Maizono just stands there, looking at Leon with tired and anguished eyes, hoping that he'll listen.....that he'll see the olive branch she's doing her best to extend to him.]
What I did....it's not going to happen again. I don't expect you to believe that, but it's true. I- [She bites her lip.] -what I did was for the sake of my dream, and now that dream is over. It's gone forever; I can't get it back. Whatever you may think of me, Kuwata-kun, I wouldn't do bad, selfish things for nothing. [She rubs at her cheek in a distracted, vulnerable way, as if to brush off even that backhanded and twisted half-admittance of guilt.] But nothing's what I have now, what I ended up with. That's why....that's why I don't want to hurt you either.
WHY CHEERFULLY?!
So he remains calm even as she approaches, and as she talks he just watches - his expression surprised, but also with something else in it, something a little more unsure than the anger from before. ]
Everything about that place was horrid as shit.
[ But despite the semi-cursing thrown in there, it sounds much more lifeless than his usual shouting and yelling. He rubs his arm awkwardly with the hand of his other arm, and for a moment he can't bring himself to look at her anymore.
He also can't admit his own blame in all of this, his own guilt. He can't apologize to her for something that - in his own mind, even if the doubts are surfacing somewhere faintly, doubts he doesn't want to address - wasn't his fault in the end, something he already got unjustly punished for either way. But at the same time, what she's saying is true-- 'we don't have to be enemies'. When he sees the human being in front of him, he's willing to believe at least her last words that she doesn't want to hurt him, at least this time.
After all, unlike last time.. she isn't smiling right now. ]
.. If you won't hurt me, I won't hurt you. And I don't feel much for being enemies either. [ 'friends' isn't something he can deal with like this either, but at least if it isn't enemies, if it isn't constantly seeking each other out or wanting to cause harm.. ]
After all, regardless of whose fault it is.. both of our dreams are gone either way by now.
WHY NOT
There's still a lump in her throat, though, and her eyes feel tight and hot from her crying. But these are things that Maizono will deal with, as she has had to (and must still) deal with so much else.]
Yes....you're definitely right about that, Kuwata-kun.
[There's a long few minutes where Maizono is quiet and focuses on wiping her face rather than continuing the conversation, but eventually she does speak up again. Her voice is a little soft with hesitance; they might have agreed not to fight, there might be an uneasy truce currently brokered between a murderer and one who attempted murder, but things are still awkward and fragile and perhaps only two steps away from shattering. She would have to be careful, mindful of the cracks.]
Can I ask you something?....it's not about Hope's Peak, though, but this place.
IT'S RUDE AND IT HURTS
Huh? [ .. well, not like it could hurt him to answer, right.. ] What is it?
[ still a little awkward, but it's at least a little closer to the way he usually speaks - and it's not yelling either. ]