towerofanimus | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Characters: Saki and YOU
Setting: All around the tower! Starting in Room 2-05
Format: I'll match you!
Summary: Saki has woken up in the tower, and she is relieved to be alive.
Warnings: There will probably be Adachi in here, being a creeper

[When Saki wakes up in the bed, it's like everything before with the other her, in that hell that resembled her own liquor store--the incident with the detective--everything--it's all just a bad dream. After lying there for a few good minutes, even after the sleep paralysis wears off, she sits up and looks around. And then she cries for a few more minutes, pure relief washing over her. She's alive. She's alive and safe, even if she doesn't recognize here. And that's what matters.

After a good cry, she changes into her casual clothing and starts to explore. The cafeteria for her oatmeal, the meadow, anywhere. Anything to learn what this place is and maybe find a familiar face.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She doesn't know what to say. Would he even believe her? Not that she can talk clearly right now. She'll just cry for a few moments more, digging fingers into his shirt like it's some kind of anchor and she could disappear any second. But finally, finally, she calms enough to speak.]

I was scared.

[Scared? Now there's an emotion he knows, and a word that helps him put a name to some of those emotions whirling around in the pit of his stomach, because now that she's here he's terrified of each and every thing that could happen to her. What if she wanders off on the wrong floor? What if she runs into the wrong person? What if a monster comes across her?]

[... what if he's too late again?]

[But he pushes those thoughts away as he tries to comfort her]

It's okay. This tower is a scary place. Anyone would be scared.

[She doesn't correct him, because she doesn't even know what this tower is. For all she knows, despite this reunion in a peaceful meadow, she's woken in another kind of hell. So she just nods quietly, trying to compose herself.]

[Now that he's been given some time to simply hold her and think, there are a few things Yosuke is certain of]

[The first is that the world is a cruel place, for her to wind up here - cruel to him and cruel to her]

[The second is that he wouldn't trade the feeling he gets holding her close for anything in the world]

[The third is that there isn't a huge window of time she could be from, back home, and that's leading him to a question he's scared to ask. But he has to, someone has to, and... he needs to know.]

Saki-senpai... what's the last thing you remember? From home?

[...What can she say? That a detective tried to coerce her into sex, she refused and was then thrown into a TV that had another world on the other side? Would anyone believe her? Instead, she just remains silent, trying to think of what to say that doesn't sound utterly ridiculous.]

[Silence. Out of anyone else it might not fill his stomach with dread and give him the urge to gag. From her...]

[From her it leads him to believe the worst possible answer. And now his body starts shaking and his arms pull her tightly because if he lets her go... if he lets her go...]

[He can't answer that and he doesn't want to. He's just trying his best not to cry as his voice comes out choked at best]

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...

It's not your fault, Hana-chan.

[He didn't almost kill her. At least, she's pretty sure that's what was about to happen. But how would he know...? She doesn't want that answer right now. She doesn't want to see him like this.]

[His eyes shut and he bites down on his tongue, trying to focus on the pain, to focus on anything but the giant mass of guilt he can't seem to deal with. It's hard, but after a few minutes he thinks he might have himself under control. It's hard to tell, and his voice is still weak, but he at least manages to stop the shaking, and he's almost sure he's not crying]

Sorry. I'll be alright. I just-

I thought I'd never get to see you again.

Hana-chan...

[That's a frightening bit of information. "Never thought I'd see you again?" But that would mean...]

...I... I died, didn't I?

[She's not sure how it'd be possible for her to be here, but before her time inside the Midnight Channel, she was sure people couldn't just be thrown into TVs, either. Anything's possible.]

[Oh shit]

[Oh shit]

[He did that thing he does - where he talks without thinking and he says something he absolutely should not have said in the slightest, and this time he's done it in the worst possible way. He cringes, even while holding her, because he's just not sure what else to do]

[But... it's out there now. Trying to backpedal would be transparent, and she deserves to know the truth. She deserves a lot of things, so many of them he can never give to her]

[She deserved to live]

[Yosuke takes a deep breath, determined to take this as far as he can take it]

There's a lot to tell you, Saki-senpai. Whenever you're ready - it doesn't have to be now.

[Ah. So, she is dead, then. She's not sure how to take it. It's like, in an instant, she's numb. Like it hasn't totally sunk in. And it hasn't really. How is one supposed to react when they find out they've died...?

Still. There's only one question she wants answered.]

...Did they catch him?

... we kicked that bastard's ass, and they put him behind bars.

He'll never hurt anyone, ever again.

[It's not much consolation to give her, but at least it's something. It's not enough, it can never be anywhere near enough, but... it's something]

[Now if he can keep himself from crying again, that'll be something else]

[It's a relief. Even though she's dead, it means there was some justice. So for a moment, even though she's on the verge of crying again, she can smile.]

Thank you, Yosuke.

No, don't thank me.

[It feels wrong, all wrong. Of all people, she shouldn't be thanking him. He failed her. He didn't do enough for her. She should still be alive, should still be with them, should have finished her senior year and got to live out her life in some sort of happiness, should have been able to do anything she wanted to do, should have-]

[... should have...]

If I had figured it out sooner, we could have- you would have...

[He's changed a lot, it seems. So she just shakes her head a bit, placing a hand on his shoulder.]

...You've grown up a lot, Hana-chan. I can see it in you. So don't blame yourself for what happens to me.

[Didn't she do what she thought was right? She stood up to Adachi, and wouldn't let him abuse his position to get what he wanted from her.]

[Happens. It's still in her future, isn't it? Maybe her very, very near future... but her future, and for him it feels like so long ago. Once he realizes that, the absurdity of it all, it almost makes him laugh]

Sorry, I just... I spent a year dealing with everything, you know? More than that. If anyone had told me I'd be 18 and giving you a hug like this, I'd-

[Oh crap that's right he's been holding her all this time, hasn't he? He can feel his face flush at the realization, but he doesn't quite make a move to let her go]

It sounds like you went through a lot.

[He said there was a lot to explain. Well, then... He may have to explain it, because she's so confused about all of it. How is she even still alive? Even now, after waking up in this place and exploring, she can still feel the encroaching cold of the shadowy mass that had been just about to consume her, the chills it sent through her, the utter despair she felt at her look-alike's words. She could really use something to take her mind off that, actually.

She also doesn't mind he's holding her. Even if she never had a crush on him, he is very much like a little brother. And it helps her realize this is real, and that she's not just dreaming something up.]

We... went through the same thing.

[The words are out of his mouth before he can evaluate them as a bad idea, but at least this one isn't cringe worthy. He did promise to catch her up, and now is a good a time to start as any. Realizing that he's older than her now has actually lightened the mood a bit, and he feels a bit more able to actually talk]

It's kind of a long story. You want me to start it now?

[Saki will pull away--no more embrace--but then sit down. She keeps a grip in his sleeve, because... Because she needs the physical connection right now. Because otherwise, she might wake up and be right back where she was, about to die.]

I think it'd be a good idea.

[His life is pain]

[Except not, because this is what he's wanted. This is the exact moment he spent a year and a half dreaming about, the one thing he wished he could have done. Okay, so it's not the exact moment - there's a little more crazy tower and a little less... normalcy, but if there's one thing he's wished for more than anything, it's just the chance to talk to her. To sit down and talk to her one last time, to tell her everything and to listen in response.]

[Just once, just this once... he's so very grateful for the tower as he takes a seat next to her, taking her hand from his sleeve and gripping it with his own]

You remember the transfer student, right? Yu?

Turns out he can go inside TVs. We all sort of accidentally fell inside with him - me and Satonaka, you remember her, right? We got out, but we saw some disturbing stuff... where that announcer, Miss Yamano had been, we figured out later.

Then... you happened.

You mean... Then I died.

[It's depressing to say, but it's fact now. She doesn't make it out of the weird TV world where she met the look-alike, where that detective put her.]

Edited (Too many feels, can't type) 2012-07-15 10:18 (UTC)

... yeah. And that's the last time I'm saying it, because you're here with me right now and that's all I care about.

[He gives her hand a squeeze - partially to reassure her, partially to reassure himself, and the continues]

I thought there might be a connection, so I convinced Yu to take me in there again. We went in, and I... we found the liquor store.

[He hesitates just for a moment. Should he mention the things he heard? The echoes of her voice, the things he was never supposed to know? Re-living the memory makes his heart ache, and he's desperate to unburden himself, to tell her that he knows she hated him and it's okay, that she still helped him grow as a person despite all that]

[He doesn't]

We went inside, and there was another me there. He said some terrible things, and then he tried to kill me.

If it weren't for Yu, he would have.

...I can kinda sympathize.

[With everyone else putting her down, she'd begun to put herself down, too. Think and fear some terrible things. And that thing that looked like her had poked at all those fears... It had been terrible.]

[And now things get awkward, because with her he can't gloss over shadows. She deserves to know just what it was... even if the truth is heartbreaking]

Yu beat it back, but... it wasn't that easy. One attacked you, right?

Those things - they're called shadows. This is going to be hard to believe and I'm sure it'll come out all wrong, but you've gotta believe me. I wouldn't lie to you now, not about this.

[He takes a breath to collect himself, because this isn't going to get any easier]

The ones that look like us... they look that way because they are us. They're the parts of us that we never want to admit to, the pieces that we try to hide away from the world where no one can ever get to them. They know every thing to say that can hurt us, because that's what they are. And if you deny it, that's when they go crazy.

... so to get it to go away, I had to admit it - that every single horrible thing it said was completely true.

[Saki tenses, goes stiff. Because hearing that? No, no, she can't really hate Hana-chan, can she? Was she really using him all that time at Junes...? But she'll just... Numbly nod. She can't interrupt, because then she needs to hear this, doesn't she?]