I'm not always like this, it's something I've become

[chronomancer]

Characters: Jaderi and YOU.
Setting: Caffeteria.
Format: I'll start with action, but I'll match you.
Summary: Eridan's back from a month abroad, and he's very much in need of comfort food. Pancakes are close enough to waffles anyway.
Warnings: Eridan being way more of a douchebag than ever before. Also possibly violence and death if he gets upset. He's got a gun and surprisingly few qualms about using it right now.

[So. Back in tower wonderstuck. Eridan is mildly depressed at the fact this is actually improvement somehow, over... well. That.

But we're not talking about that.

No.

Really.

We are not.

But if you want to talk about something else entirely, you're welcome to approach Eridan, who's sitting in a table by his lonesome, an empty plate of oatmeal at his left and a piled up plate of pancakes to his right.

They ain't waffles but, you know. Close enough.]

Comments

[hystericull]

[Gamzee doesn't really want to talk about anything, to be quite fucking honest, but seeing Eridan again confirmed that it wasn't just some idiot with a lot of time on his hands doing a pretty good impersonation of the guy over the network.]

[What the hell does he even say? It's been the shittiest month he could ever even begin to imagine, he had voices screaming in his head, voices screaming out of his windpipe, and this fucking urge to just destroy everything 95% of the time.]

[What's the most sympathetic thing you can think of to welcome a dear friend back to the hellhole you'd wished he'd continued to be free from? Why, to go up and stick your filthy hands all up in his pancake stack and take a few for thorough inspection.]

The motherfuck is this!?

[chronomancer]

[Eridan growled softly when he saw a hand approaching his food, but quieted down when he realized it was just Gamzee. Gamzee was okay. Chill. He snorted at the question and grabbed another one himself, tearing a chunk of it with his teeth. He didn't bother with all the stuff people put on them. Much like waffles, he liked them plain. He snorted again as he swallowed.]

The poor man's waffle, I guess.

[hystericull]

[This probably was not the most thought-out plan. Gamzee now had multiple pancakes fisted in one hand. The grease dripped down his arm and he held them so tightly that some chunks had started falling off on to the floor. They were nice and warm, though - a sensation he did not object to in the slightest. It was pretty easy to ignore the elephant in the room - namely, asking Eridan how he was and telling him it was good to have him back. Because in his current state, he really didn't give two shits about talking about that crap. To be quite fucking honest, he wasn't entirely sure he cared as much as he felt he should, anyway.]

Looks fucking disgusting.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan shrugs, tearing another chunk of pancake with his teeth. It's a bit mindless, the way he's eating. It doesn't help he spent a month systematically starving himself, and then another one actually starving for lack of food. He's a bit on the thin side of things right now. But hey, that's what comfort foods are for. He offers an empty, lopsided grin at Gamzee.]

'm not really eatin' them for the looks, though.

[hystericull]

Tch.

[Fair enough. Gamzee didn't really discriminate when it came to food, himself. Not that you'd really be able to tell. Guess they were both just a pair of walking bones. That grin of his was so unconvincing it hurt. Except, it didn't really hurt, it was just sort of unbelievably telling. Chalk that up as another thing they Weren't Going To Talk About.]

Touché, motherfucker.

[He sat himself on the edge of the bench seat, a comfortable distance away from Eridan, staring at the pancake conglomeration in his hand. Why did he think this was a good idea, he had zero fucking appetite as of late. The chunky, steamy mess in front of him sort of made him feel like he was going to make a chunky, steamy mess of his very own.]

[Wasteful as always, he dumped the fried crap all over the floor, wiping the excess grease and pancake crumbs on to his pants.]

Got all a motherfuckin' hankerin' for some good ol' Tower grub while you was all up and to be out of this fuckin' joint, then? Couldn't get your motherfucking wait on to all making the wickedest of beelines for the food service block when you snapped your fucking happy-ass stubs back up at here?

[God, he was being such a fucking douchebag. Whatever.]

[chronomancer]

It's edible.

[Eridan's deadpan was sharp and unguarded and he offered Gamzee a look over the rim of his sunglasses. Then he looked down at his plate of pancakes a little mournfully.]

Would've been all kinds 'a bitchin' if they were waffles, though.

[hystericull]

[Okay he is not even going to ask what a waffle is because if it's anything like this nasty shit he doesn't want to know about any more of your freaky breakfast food obsessions.]

Princess gotta complain 'cause the shitty Tower ain't got what she be wanting to put in her big motherfuckin' mouth.

[chronomancer]

Well, hon, princess be really fuckin' picky about the shit she puts in her motherfuckin' mouth.

[Eridan rolled his eyes and took another bite of pancake.]

Ain't a crime, last time I checked.

[hystericull]

[He snorted.]

Like it'd fuckin' bother you if it all were.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan grinned, full of teeth and without a single fuck to be given.]

Well no, but it's polite to pretend.

[hystericull]

[As if Gamzee couldn't tell by his username on the network, the grin was the icing on top of the shit cake.]

You all up and fuckin' were to be lyin' at me earlier, motherfucker.

[chronomancer]

I did?

[He looks momentarily surprised by that. Then he finishes his pancake, absently licking his fingers as he studies Gamzee's expression.]

[geometry]

[Now. He had to pick... now. What a really]

[really]

[really]

[really]

[really bad time.]

[So, due to dying not much more than forty-eight hours ago, Equius here looks like he did when he came into the Tower. Hair at a reasonable length. Cuts and bruises running along arms, and some nice 'black' eyes on the face. He also looks about as dead to the world as Eridan does.]

[The jadeblood's facing the other way. Equius can just... walk out now. He can walk out and take his food back to the kitchen and hide.]

[Well, technically he can.]

[If his legs would move.]

[hystericull]

[He nods mischievously.]

You said you weren't all to bringing my ass somethin' motherfuckin' back with you.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan, currently oblivious to Equius presence, entertains himself eating pancakes with his hands, mostly tearing chunks off with his teeth and then slowly swallowing them after a moment of savoring them.

It's methodical and surprisingly not messy at all, though that's mostly because he likes his pancakes plain. He chews and chews and swallows and keeps his head down. He looks considerably less jumpy than usual, if a tad skinnier.

So you might have a chance to run, Equius. Maybe. Unless you wait until he finishes his last pancake and he needs to go get more...]

[cullscuttlefish]

[Feferi's worried. That wasn't the usual level of snark that came from this Eridan. So she wanted to come by and check on him.]

Hey. You're not okay, obviously, but do you want some company? Promise I won't steal your pancakes.

[fashionfairy]

[Well, that certainly looks like him...except he bears her colors. This is either a very strange joke on his part or perhaps one of the repeat incarnations from other universes like she had met before. Either way she approaches him cautiously. If he is one of the repeat incarnations, who knows what his personality will be, if the multitude of Roses was any indication.]

Eridan?

[geometry]

[Run. Run. The kitchen is right there, you can hide until he goes away. Goddammit, Zahhak, run.]

[He... he's turning around. And Equius' legs are moving. YES. Bye Eridan, gonna go casually sprint into the kitchen forever. There's a clear path from where other residents are recoiling, suggesting someone came through, but he doesn't really care. He should be fine, because no one ever comes in the kitchen, especially not Eridan, right? Right?]

[...Well, yes.]

[If the counter up front didn't just run out of pancakes.]

[Whoops!]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan tilts his head slightly to the side.]

...mmmhmmm. I did say that, yeah.

[chronomancer]

[So in comes Eridan, a few moments later. Looking for more delicious stuff to put down his throat and try to maybe calm down his nerves. He's irritated, somehow, and he's even more irritated by the fact he can't quite pinpoint why.

He stops a little when he sees Equius there, staring at him a little and frowning somewhat as he tried to figure out if he was glad to see the yellowblood or not.

Then he shrugged a little and moved to see if there were more pancakes to be hand.]

Hi.

[The mutter was low and almost... absentminded. He's got things in his mind, okay.]

[hystericull]

[A snicker.]

Looks all like you were up and to be bringin' back some salty-ass motherfuckin' 'tude all home with you, though.

["Home." Did he really just call it that?]

Got a little more bitch in you that what's motherfucking par for the jadecourse, you all fuckin' do.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan watches her for a moment, idly finishing another pancake. There's the familiar pang somewhere in the back of his mind, the longing that can't really be put to words, it's just so strong. But it passes the more he takes stock of all the differences. The fins. The crown. The goggles. By the time he finishes eating that pancake he's in control of himself, he's sure. It's okay, it's not her so he's not forced to care.

He shrugs.]

Suit yerself, really.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan snorted loudly and reached for another pancake.]

Who says I ain't always this fuckin' salty?

[He gave Gamzee a lopsided smirk.]

Eh?

[geometry]

[That's reasonable, really. Considering where you've been landing your ass for the past several weeks, Eridan, you're more than welcome to feel a little (unsure) now that you're around actual living people again. But that does not mean that you can just come bursting into the kitchen like you own the place!]

[At least, you can't while Equius is inside, that is.]

[God. Nowhere to run. Crap. Equius skitters out of the way if Eridan moves so much as slightly in his direction. It might be kind of hilarious, if-- yeah no it's not really hilarious.]

Hi.

[chronomancer]

Yeah?

[If he was surprised by her appearance, he didn't show it. At all. He just tilted his head back and to the side, looking at her over the corner of his sunglasses, not even defensive. Not really offensive, either. Just. Bland.]