towerofanimus | [.001]

Entry tags:

[ou] naminé

[.001]

Characters: Naminé

Setting: Twelfth floor

Format: Starting this way, matching responders.

Summary: A new arrival discovers the twelfth floor. This is not exactly good for her world view.

Warnings: Angst, low self-esteem, tl;dr. In summary; those stairs are blocked by an outwardly calm but internally angsting teenage girl.

Naminé had read the letters, of course. It had seemed prudent, considering that there appeared to be no one around to explain why she had woken up in a bed rather than… well, she hadn’t known what to expect when she went back to Kairi, for all her attempts to be optimistic, but this hadn’t even been on the metaphorical list. At the very least, shouldn’t there have been fewer beds? Sora was the one who always had guests in his heart, after all, not Kairi.

The letters had proved informative, as they were no doubt meant to be, but….

Try though she might, it was just impossible to wrap her head around the idea that the worlds she knew no longer existed. If the Heartless had tried to destroy them and failed, then how could something nameless and faceless succeed? It was an utterly stupid notion, of course, but something in her just couldn’t quite let go of it… until now.

Her feet had prompted her to take the nearest exit, to try to find her way back to something she recognized or make sense of this world. It wasn’t the first time she’d woken up in a strange place, and so she had found herself calm, but understandably apprehensive. It hadn’t ended well, last time. Her search had yielded no fruit up until the point where she stepped down onto the twelfth floor of the tower.

Vertigo and a lurch in her stomach were instant, forcing her to a stop right in the middle of the stairs. Once her mind had managed to convince her body that she wasn’t going to fall, she began to take in her surroundings – and, more specifically, what was going on in them. She ended up feeling sick all over again.

All of those worlds, destroyed as easily as one snuffs out a candle.

Seeing it was much more powerful than hearing it. Watching this destruction, endless and absolute, tore aside her disbelief and replaced it with much, much heavier understanding. Everything that she’d ever worked for, everyone she’d ever known, met, or – impossible for her to admit to herself – cared for was gone.

Her knees went weak, but did not buckle; they, too, seemed to be in shock. Her face was ashen, her arms limp at her sides, her expression still frozen in place. The prickling at her eyes went unnoticed in favor of the tumult in her mind.

She’d been able to handle the idea of herself no longer existing as a separate entity (after all, she would be whole, wouldn’t she?) but the idea that Sora and Roxas, that Riku, that Kairi, Donald, Goofy, the King, everyone else were no longer— she couldn’t even think the word. She was no stranger to death and the threat of it, but still, still--

Why her?

Why her, of all people? Of all Nobodies? What right did she have to be spared? What purpose did she have, beyond finishing the duty to Sora that her failures had put upon her and then going to make Kairi whole? What was Naminé supposed to do? All that time she’d had the answers, or at least answers that she could make herself believe, but now… she was really and truly nothing, without purpose or tie.

Still, she did not break down. She didn’t know how to. She didn’t have the right to. Her body stayed motionless like the shell it was as she tried so hard to figure out whether she wanted to scream, or weep, or laugh, or if she really didn’t want anything at all. In the end, it probably didn’t matter what she did. The only thing that did was that one question, the one that someone else always answered for her.

What now?

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"Unnatural...?" He echoed the word without much purpose. It...would make sense that it would be unnatural he guessed, seeing what he had done to get to that state. His hand absent-mindedly hovered over to rest on his chest, while his other arm dropped limp by his side.

"Oh...." He added as an after thought. Ten years later and he still looked the same, but what about everyone else? They would have all aged and...he couldn't just show up looking the same as before, could he? Then again....

"I...guess it doesn't really matter, huh." Their universe was apparently gone after all. (No, that was ridiculous, there was no way so many worlds could be destroyed just like that!) But he was stuck here, and would he even get a chance to see them again anyway...?

"...No." It didn't matter. Not now. And yet... she couldn't find it in herself to just leave it at that. Maybe it was for him, because his grief was too difficult to watch, or maybe it was for her, because it was still just so hard to wrap her head around the idea that everyone she'd ever seen was gone, but whatever the reason, she started to speak again. "But--"

But what? What good would it do to tell him that most of the people he'd met and promised to see again were still very much alive? Different, aged, but alive. If they were gone, it really was purposeless. However... the letters had said that their worlds were destroyed. That didn't mean ALL of the worlds were. Of course, with the constant destruction shown on the walls of the twelfth floor, it was hard to believe that very many could remain, and yet the destruction continued, so surely there were still many worlds out there that had yet to be reached. "The letters said that our worlds were destroyed, not... not that all of the worlds were." Maybe she was giving the both of them false hope, but at the moment it was hard to care as much as she probably should have.

The fact that Naminé had only reaffirmed his new found pessimism only seemed to make it worse (if that was possible.) Ven simply sat there, staring into space with his thoughts. If he kept this up he would probably just start hearing Vanitas in his head.

"Huh...?" It took him a minute to understand what Naminé was getting at but...it was true. He had been under the impression that they had meant the whole universe had been destroyed (he remembered reading something Master Xehanort wrote calling the universe 'The World,' after all), but, maybe they did just mean the Land of Departure. That meant Master Eraqus might have been in danger, but surely he could've taken care of himself in spite of this world-ending phenomena.

"That's....true I guess.." A comfort, but only a small one. "But.... could I really go back after ten years?" Ven was more just thinking aloud at this point. Just hearing all this, he already felt older.

"...." Naminé couldn't help wishing she could take everything back, just like when she'd told Roxas the truth about himself; she wished she could do it over, make it easier, somehow. She probably could have, if she'd been willing to interfere directly with his memories, but... not only could she not find the gumption to do something at once so cruel and invasive, not when she didn't absolutely have to, she also could not be certain that such an action would not damage his heart after he'd already done so much to it on his own.

Instead, the only thing to do seemed to be to find a way to make it easier after the fact. "...Why couldn't you?" It was quiet. "Your friends would be happy to see you, no matter how long it's been." She shook her head. "You haven't changed, but... neither have they, not really. They're still the same people, even if they might not be exactly how you remember them."

"C...Could I?" It was in the form of a question, but he wasn't really asking. "I told them I'd be back, but...." What if they didn't want to see him anymore? That was ridiculous and even he knew it. Promises were promises after all. He did have faith in his friends, but, for some reason he was still nervous.

"No. I guess you're right." It was a pretty weak smile, but it was at least there. He didn't seem like he had convinced himself entirely, but.

A moment later however, he was back to a bit of a frown. "You..don't think they've forgotten about me, do you..?"

That smile was a good sign, and she encouraged it with a small one of her own. When it disappeared, hers followed suit. The question made something in her chest clench. Forgotten.... "...No." Especially not if she had anything to say about it. "Memories like those are never really gone, just buried." And even then, they could always be unburied. She pressed a hand against her chest as if for emphasis. "You'll always be in their hearts, Ven."

"Yeah. And they're a part of mine." The weak smile was back, though it was more tired at this point. "Still...." Maybe it was just paranoia that led him to doubt her; after all, he had already forgotten the first eleven or so years of his life once before when he went to go live with Master Eraqus. He had remember eventually, granted, but that was only because of Vanitas, and now that he thought about it, there were still a few gaps.

Rather than getting back up, he flopped back onto the ground on his back and allowed his legs to come out from under him and rest on the ground as well. "Maybe I'm just worried because I've forgotten important stuff before."

The nod that she gave in response to his first statement was accompanied by a slightly relieved looking smile. The second one wiped it right out of place. That had been a very unusual situation, but after what had happened before, she wasn't sure exactly how to comfort him without possibly opening another can of worms. Still, that didn't mean she wasn't going to try. But first, she sat down on one of the stairs, tucked her legs together and placed her hands on her lap.

Then, carefully, "Like what?" Not that she didn't have some idea from the memories she'd seen, but... perhaps it would be best to ease into this subject.

"I had a different master before the one I lived with last," He didn't sound that depressed about it, but apparently the thought of this situation was enough to make him frown again. "We lived in this big house together--not as big as the castle I lived in with Aqua, but still pretty big. But...something happened, and I didn't even remember who he was when I went to go live with my friends. And I didn't see him again until four or five years later."

Hey the ceiling was looking pretty interesting right now even if it was showing parts of the destruction of universes.

Despite the fact that he wasn't looking her way, Naminé continued to watch him carefully, her face withdrawn. If nothing else, it was a testament to his ability to survive and forgive that he didn't sound upset. She was silent for a small amount of time once he stopped speaking, and her hands squeezed each other just a little more tightly as she considered her next move. "And... what was it that happened?" That, too, she was well aware of... but, in this context, maybe asking anyway wasn't wrong, because maybe could help him understand it, how unusual it was and how that unusual situation could have done things to his memories that were nearly impossible in any other instance.

"...." At this question, Ven seemed to pause for a minute. Should he tell her? In all honesty it would probably all be pretty confusing. He wasn't sure she would even believe him for one thing, and he wasn't even sure he wanted to, y'know, acknowledge it had happened.

Eventually he finally spoke up. "Uh... my old master did something that messed with the light and the darkness in my heart. I didn't really understand it myself." Hey, it's not technically lying! "When I woke up I didn't remember anything, so he took me to live with my new master." Silly Ven, you should know you can't lie to ~~KH!God~~ Naminé.

Silly Ven, indeed. ~~She is clearly the most sneaky, she cannot be outsneaked.~~ He needn't have doubted, because she showed no sign of disbelief. There was the barest hint of surprise, because as he was now, she wasn't certain how much he might have remembered or not remembered as part of the process of being awoken. However, that surprise was minute and short-lived.

"You understand that that was... a very unusual thing that happened to you. What happened to your memories-- it may be that it was because of that." ~~By which she meant 'almost definitely because of that'.~~ She lowered her eyes to focus on the ground. "Just because you forgot as many things as you did doesn't mean that your friends might."

~~She is the sneakiest ninja that ever dressed in white~~ "I know it's not exactly a normal thing to happen. But then again neither is someone showing up and then disappearing for ten years." Was that a hint of a joke in his downtrodden mood? Seems to be.

"...Hey," Ven began his sentence, sitting up from his lying down position so he could actually look at Naminé properly without hurting his neck. "Not that I'm not thankful-- because I am!" She had told him after all, and was nice enough about it. "But...how do you know all this stuff?

~~She's so sneaky that she doesn't even LOOK like a ninja, which is what all those other guys always do wrong.~~ Her eyes shifted again to consider him at that joke attempt, not certain what it was herself but rather hoping that it was indeed something like a joke. The 'hey' made her raise her head slightly, questioning. The tiny quirk that was starting at the edges of her lips at the thanks disappeared as he finished his question.

"That's..." Exactly the can of worms she was hoping to avoid opening, because fully explaining that would lead to yet another can of worms, which would likely only make him feel worse about his situation. How was she supposed to tell him about everything else that had happened, to Aqua and Terra? If that was anyone's place, it was Aqua's. Naminé was still not as clear as she could have been about the details, anyway. As for her own involvement-- admitting that here, to anyone, was something she was rapidly becoming convinced was not a good idea. Even if it was Ven, it would only cause problems; after all, it wouldn't have been surprising if he innocently let something slip. So the best explanation to give seemed to be, "... complicated."

~~A ninja wearing blue sandals?! Brilliant Brilliant BRILLIANT!~~ Ven felt kind of bad when any trace of a smile had disappeared, but he was just curious. She apparently knew a whole lot more about his situation than he knew about it after all. ed that.

"Complicated?" Well, he anticipated that much. A lot of stuff in his life seemed to be complicated, but that just hurt his head thinking about it. "What do you mean?" Seems like he's not giving up until he gets an answer.

~~See, exactly. They're so terrible for any kind of physical activity that clearly no self-respecting ninja would ever wear them.~~ If she could have given the same answer, she would have. She knew he deserved SOME kind of explanation, and she couldn't bring herself to even seriously consider outright lying, but... what, then? What was she supposed to say?

Perhaps the truth, in a broad sense. It may as well have been no answer at all, but at least it could be used as a warning. "...Some things are better left unsaid." That didn't necessarily mean they would stay that way.

~~And yet they would be wise to adopt this stratagem.~~ This reply just led to Ven looking the most annoyed it was possible for him to look; which is mostly a combination of confusion and displeasure instead of all-and-all annoyance.

"How come?" Admittedly he...well, hadn't taken the news well, but it was even weirder thinking about how he had gone for the time he had not knowing something like that. Not to mention how long Master Eraqus had lied to him...!

~~For stealth, yes. For actually being able to move, not so much.~~ That expression was not at all one that she wanted to see. Had it been an easier thing to discuss, she would have. Her own expression was apologetic, even as she tried to figure out what to say to appease him. Hopefully, what she came up with would be enough.

"Ven, sometimes... knowing certain things might put someone else in danger. Maybe even you." There was something guilty about the way she stared down at her hands. She also had a question of her own, although she did hesitate to ask it. "And... now that you know, are you... happy that I told you how long you'd been asleep?"

~~Maybe that's why they wear those funny sock-...shoe, things,they can change easily and it's easy to hide them in a bag or something.~~ "Put someone in danger?" That quickly turned his face around back to a frown. He kind of wanted to know (assuming there were others besides himself) that could hurt them, but maybe that would just lead to even more...possible danger. Hm.

"..." Ven looked up at the question, but looked back down again in thought. No, he wasn't happy to know, not really. Ten years of his life was gone, and hadn't even known it. But... "...Yes. I don't like it, but I'm glad I know." He finally decided on saying. "Before I was asleep I was scared to death of what would happen to me until I started fighting. At least...I know what happened, sort of."

~~Probably, probably.~~ "Yes." Her voice was quiet. So much of this was a matter of 'if's. She raised her head at his answer, not surprised, exactly, but definitely studying him. After a moment, she said, "...I'm glad that you feel that way." She paused, her mouth still poised to add something else, but a second later she closed it.

"Why would someone be in danger...?" That was less dangerous than asking who would be hurt or what would happen to them, right? He had to learn the craft of asking his questions carefully.

"I guess it sort of brings up new problems...." But regardless of his tone, Ven gave a weak smile. "But I would've had to find out eventually, right?" Looks like that optimism was back in whatever minute amount at least. He looked at her curiously when it looked like she was going to say something else, but otherwise didn't press it.

She answered his statement before his question with a quiet, "Right." It was true; there was no way he could have gone forever without finding out... unless he'd never managed to wake up. That alternative did not bear discussing.

As for his question, "...Let's just say... that the reason I know what I do is something that has caused-- a lot of trouble, and hurt a lot of people." The shame on her face was obvious and she knew it, so she bowed her head and hoped to hide that expression from his view. Her body language betrayed her as her hands clenched each other and her shoulders rose almost protectively, like someone expecting to be hit. "Now that I'm here, I... I just-- I need to make sure that that never happens again. To do that, I have to make sure not to tell anyone what it is."

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[.001]

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I don't care if it's headcanon they totally lived in the mansion dangit

Don't have to convince me :3c THIS. IS. CANOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! Also icon fail ;;

IT IS THE MOST CANOONNNN also derp XD

YYYYYYYYYYYY XD

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