[CLOSED] because nobody knows that's how i nearly fell

[chronomancer]

Characters: Eridan & Jade, and Eridan & Equius
Setting: Media room, room 1-20.
Format: Action! Occasionally tl;dr action.
Summary: Eridan freaks out to Jade about Equius, then freaks out to Equius about Equius. Basically, teenagers failing horribly at romance. And worse, troll romance. (It's all Karkat's fault.)
Warnings: Troll romance. Purring trolls. Adorable-awkward shenanigans. And just plain awkward. Oh my god, so much awkward. Approach with caution.

Media room.

[Eridan fidgets. This is a constant law of the universe. He fidgets with his scarf, the hem of his shirt, the sleeves of his jacket. Unless he's intensely focused on something, like when he's shooting something, Eridan Ampora is always, always fidgeting. Recently, this has unfortunately translated to an urge to kind of maybe skin himself alive. But that was besides the point.

Eridan fidgets and shifts around the couch, trying to find a comfortable posture to wait for Jade to arrive. Oh god. Jade. Is he ready to do this? He's not sure he's ready to do this. He's not really sure if this whole crazy idea is going to work or not, but he kind of needs to talk to someone about this, and he might as well doing with his... moirail.

Oh god.

Don't mind Eridan, he'll just sit there. And fidget.]


Room 1-20.

[Eridan stares at the door for a long, long moment, fidgeting some more before he works up the nerve to knock. He really doesn't want to do this, at all, but it'll be worse if he doesn't.

He's not about to let Equius deal with Karkat just because Karkat is a meddling bitch that suddenly rediscovered his aspect and his willingness to fuck with people's quadrants and okay, gonna stop that train of thought before he gets angry. That's not conductive to the monumental fuck up he's about to commit.]

Eq?

Comments

[reddeadvirtuoso]

You got a crush on Eq?

[She's kind of amused but don't worry that's not a condescending grin on her face. She's not legitimately capable of condescension.]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan shrunk into the couch, which took effort, considering he now looked smaller than her.]

In the same way water is wet and ice is cold and oh fuck, you don't understand how fucking pitiable he is.

[Face in hands, help him god, he's going to die.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She would give you a gold star if she actually had any stickers around for that.]

Well, I've only talked to him a few times. You gonna start gushing about how adorable your not-boyfriend is?

[chronomancer]

[Yes.]

No.

[Then.]

Maybe.

[And,]

Oh god.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[You're making it really hard not to laugh, bro.]

Come on, you know you wanna. Over-excited for the Honey Moon it sounds.

[chronomancer]

[You can laugh, he's aware he's being ridiculous. It just doesn't help that he still cares a lot about the source of his ridiculousness.]

He's just... he's always so hung up on the weirdest shit and it's kinda really fuckin' cute? We hang out sometimes and it's fun except when he falls asleep on me and then it's awkward because... yeah. And I still don't get why Karkat's so fixated on this crush, it's not like I don't get a new one every fucking week. Except maybe him being a jackass and wanting to ruin our friendship, which is not what a thief of heart is supposed to do, but what do I even know.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

I dunno. Thief of Heart still sounds like some stupid Disney villain to me.

[There's a pretty full grin on her face now. Though it's totally still not a grin because. Strider. Yes totally.

Also she's trying to resist equating Eridan to a japanese school girl.]

But if you're freaking out like this, it must be better than the other crushes, right?

[chronomancer]

I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I'm inclined to agree on principle.

[He sighed, letting his head fall into his hands.]

I'm not sure better is the best word choice in this situation.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

On principle you have committed a childhood atrocity. [Even Striders weren't above Disney, tbh.] But we'll deal with that later.

Why not better?

[chronomancer]

Fine, tell me how I've abused your childhood later.

[He quirks his lips a little at that, but the smile vanishes after that and he shrugs, raking his hands through his hair.]

Because this is going to end in disaster and I might actually miss the friendship once it's ruined?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

How's he feel 'bout you? I mean I talked to him and he doesn't seem like a total raging douchebag, so I doubt he'd just drop you like it's hot.

[chronomancer]

He will.

[Eridan winced, remembering one of his less than stellar moments, upon coming back from the wasteland and the hideous things he told Equius until the poor boy ended up with his head stuck under the faucet.]

Not because he's a douchebag, mind. But because that's what Equius does.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

I guess I could see him dropping a hot potato pretty easily. [Jade stop being amused by stupid mental images.]

You can hate on your friends all they want, but they still got your back.

[chronomancer]

[But if she stopped, she wouldn't be Jade. :(]

...I suppose.

[So unconvinced.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Wow, that was so committed and persuasive I think you just convinced me to go volunteer at the homeless shelter and vote in my next presidential election.

[Come. On.]

Think of it like this; you all agreed to play that stupid game together, right?

[chronomancer]

[A sigh and hey. Suddenly he's leaning most of his weight on you. Get used to it, Strider.]

...yeah?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

I'm not antrollpologist, but I'm guessing you're not gonna play a meteor-inducing video game with some assholes that you don't at least marginally give a shit about. So you can break out your Shounen powers and at least re-affirm your broship.

[chronomancer]

[There's a small, uncomfortable shrug. And then he seems to shrink a little.]

...not. Really.

[Excuse him he's just gonna go and worry the hem of his shirt with his claws again, don't mind the nervous tic.]

I didn't really know anyone, aside Fef. I mean not know-know. It's not like any of them know me all that much either.

[It's not like any of them have any reason to give a solitary fuck about him, he means.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

I don't care how your weirdo troll society works, you don't go through all that shit without giving at least one fuck about the other people you had to team up with. Like you'd probably rather team-up with one of the assholes you know and whose skills you know than with some overly-peppy weirdo that lived across the hall here.

[Aaand she's just gonna grab the hem of his shirt and pull it taut a bit before releasing it and letting it fly back with a kind of pitiful fling since it's just fabric but whatever.]

I hardly know shit about your life, but we still re-wrote the universe together anyway.

[chronomancer]

[This is a very uncomfortable silence, right here. Very. Uncomfortable. It's palpably uncomfortable. Let's make it worse by having Eridan indulging in unintelligible mumbling, instead of actual talking. Yes, that's perfect.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Her response to his mumbling was to poke him in the side of the head.]

Hey, speak up granny, I know you think you're shouting but you just bumped the volume on your hearing aid down. Only bats could possibly try and figure out what you're saying.

[chronomancer]

You were friends with Dave and the others before you played the game. I... really wasn't. And I don't think I really talked to anyone while playing the game.

[There's a very soft, very hollow laugh.]

Never had much time to. Half of them didn't even like me all that much either, and the other half listened to Feferi first, so it's not like anyone had much of an incentive to talk to me.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Overdramatic siiigggh]

You're such a Drama Queen, you know? You still played together. Your body count would be enough to convince people you were on their side even if they didn't like ya.

And you can talk to them now at least so besides the negative points for listening to the tree hugger, I think you need to chill.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan makes a soft, whiny sound, and just sort of slumps on her.]

'm still gonna get dumped in the most fantastic 'a ways.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Well she's not freaked out by the slumping or physical contact, so I'd say that's progress!!]

Well if it happens, make sure to give him a box of cockroaches for Valentine's Day then.