towerofanimus | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Characters: Sollux Captor and open
Setting: Starting in room 2-06, but you can assume he's wandering the halls anywhere, since he'll go out exploring.
Format: I'll follow your lead.
Summary: Sollux has just arrived (~~again~~) and he's confused and Unhappy about it.
Warnings: None yet.

Sollux didn't remember falling asleep, but he definitely remembered waking up. He fought the sleep paralysis for the full thirty seconds, and then shot up from the bed the moment his eyes opened, his teeth bared in a snarl.

He'd been dreaming...something. Something bad. He always woke up badly when he dreamed about his own death, but the specifics were fading like wisps of fog in the morning, and he couldn't be sure if it was a vision or not. The voices were sure loud, though. Fuck were they loud.

He was distracted from the question of the dream, though, as he looked around the unfamiliar room in confusion. "What the actual fuck?"

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She blinked, not expecting the question to be returned, and loosened her grip on his hands to try and lace her fingers through his, biting her lip in hesitation. No- he deserved to know, and it was only right, wasn't it?

"I was talking to you- in front of the Green Sun."

Her immediate past, and what should have been his future.

He was fine with lacing his fingers with hers, and he gently tries to draw her towards his door. He hopes no one is in there, but he'd rather talk to her in his room rather than in the hall.

"Wow," he said, startled. But this wasn't the first thing he'd heard of him being there at an event that hadn't happened to him, yet. So to him, that wasn't an issue. He assumed he must leave the tower in the future, perhaps. "We found it?"

She followed without hesitation, nodding slightly as she stepped into the room after him.

"Yes- I was waiting for everyone to arrive and helping out around in dream bubbles."

He was relieved to see that his roommate Ed was gone, and neither of his other two roommates had returned, either. He sat down on his bed. "What'th a dream bubble?"

"They're memories," she began slowly, and let go of one of his hands to make the going less awkward, raising her now-free hand to run her fingers through the hair trailing over her shoulders. "The memories of the dead or dreaming, actually. When we die or go to sleep now, that's usually where we wind up."

"Oh," Sollux said, mystified. He slipped his arm lightly around her waist. "Tho wath I dead or dreaming when you talked to me? Or wath I thtill alive?"

"You were... half-and-half, sort of," she replied, and her cheeks flushed a little as his arm slipped around her waist, her hand sliding away from her hair to settle lightly on one of his shoulders. "I..." She let her head fall then, forehead settling lightly against his chest. "I didn't think I'd see you alive again."

Oh god, this was pain and joy all at once. Sollux didn't know what to feel, but he wrapped his arms around her and tried not to let his blood pusher pound so hard it broke right through his ribcage. He had never thought he'd be able to hold her again, but he couldn't look at her without remembering that it was him who had blasted her to pieces in the first place.

"Half and half... Fuck, aa, I never thought I'd thee you alive, either," he said, his voice a little bit too breathless and weak.

Her own arms came up as soon as his did, the last of her hesitation melting in his embrace.

"I know," she said softly, giving him the lightest of squeezes. "I'm sorry- but you know sometimes I have to do things I don't really have a choice in."

Edited 2011-08-29 07:31 (UTC)

He didn't know what else to say, so he just nodded, burying his face in her soft hair. "I know," he murmured. As seers, they both had done things that they didn't really want to do.

She reached up gently, running her fingers through his short hair gently, enjoying having him so close after so long. A quiet sigh, and she tucked herself as close to him as he could, cheek pressed to his sternum.

"I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed you before," she murmured- and it was true. It had been hard to feel anything but anger or cold impassiveness as a robot, and harder still to feel anything at all as a ghost. Her hands stilled, and dropped to hug him again.

"Sollux..."

He blushed again as her fingers set his scalp tingling and she murmured those sweet words. But he couldn't really look at her. He kept his eyes closed and returned the gesture, combing fingers lightly through her long, thick hair.

"I mithhed you," he whispered. "All the time."

And then, "Yeah?"

She gave a little shiver at his fingers in her hair, cheeks heating up and she pulled back, looking up at him and smiling.

"I don't think I mind being here too much anymore."

Sollux drew in a breath and let it out, then smiled at her in return. "It'th not tho bad, yeah."

His heart was still pounding. For so long he'd been convinced that she hated him because of everything that had happened. Even after he learned that she had been dead, it had still felt like she wanted nothing to do with him. But it was really starting to seem like he'd been wrong about that.

His voice dropped hesitantly. "Uh, Aradia?"

She noticed the change in his voice and her face shifted a little, smile dimming and brow creasing with worry.

"Yes? Is something wrong?"

He shook his head quickly. "I don't think tho," he said quickly. "I jutht..."

He sighed and looked away. "I guethh I jutht need to hear it. Do you thtill like me? Don't tell me you do, if you don't. I...I'm okay with being friendth. I jutht need to know what you want, before I can dethide how I feel about all thith. It'th been tho methhed up for tho long."

He stopped, gritting his teeth to stem the flow of words, and fell silent.

"Sollux..."

She raised her hand to his face, turning him to look at her again, thumb stroking over his cheek.

"Of course I do, I- I was actually..." Her blush deepened, and she lowered her eyes, biting her lower lip. "I was worried you might have found someone else." She paused then, awkward, and began again- "Well- not worried, I would have been happy for you if you had, but..." She trailed off, looking back up at him. "It's selfish, really but I'm glad you didn't."

She was so beautiful, and he totally didn't deserve her. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment as she spoke, then wrapped both arms around her and hugged her tight. "I thought maybe...you wouldn't want to thee me anymore," he whispered. "Becauthe of what I did to you, and Equiuth, and everything."

There was a flash, muted but there, and Aradia shifted out of god tier to accommodate his arms around her. Her own arms curled around his waist, and she shook her head against him.

"I couldn't be mad at you- it wasn't your fault! And as for Equius... well. That's a little... complicated. But I will always want to see you, Sollux. Always."

Okay, now he was a little uncertain again. He drew back a bit to try to look at her, his eyebrows furrowing. "Complicated? Complicated, how?"

"Complicated as in I wasn't really sure what I was doing, at the time," she replied, shaking her head and tugging at the pale lavender of her Derse clothing. "Complicated as in I'm not sure what to do about him right now. He still likes me, you know? But I... I'm not the same as my robot self..."

Sollux scowled a bit, caught between dislike of Equius on principle, and believing that Aradia was probably better off with him than with Sollux. He hesitated, trying to control his expression. He didn't want to get pitied if her heart wasn't really in it.

"Of courthe he liketh you," he said. "You're amathing. The quethtion ith, do you like him?"

"I could," she admitted, fingers moving to slide onto his arm, eyes locked on his. She could have liked Equius, really she could have- but he wasn't what she wanted. What she'd always wanted. "But I don't. I like you, Sollux- I always have. You know that, right?"

His cheeks flushed and warmed slowly with yellow as she looked at him. He bit his lip and nodded, scarcely able to believe that she was saying this and really meant it. Here she was, being courted by a blue blood, and he was practically giving her to him, and she still said she wanted him.

"Are you sure you want me, not him?" he asked, his voice cracking a little. Though despite his words, his fingers curled in her hoodie, clinging a bit.

"Sollux," she said firmly, hands rising to cup his cheeks, and looked him dead on despite the bright crimson she could feel warming her own cheeks. She took a breath, expression uncertain for just a moment, and then steeled herself and leaned forward and up, pressing her lips to his. She pulled back, and pressed her forehead lightly against his, smiling tenderly.

"I'm sure."