[OPEN] you tried to keep me warm

[chronomancer]

Characters: Jaderi and YOU!
Setting: Media floor.
Format: Starting with action, but I'll match you.
Summary: You know what? Screw this. Eridan is going to watch movies and not go shithive maggots for a change. Yes. This is a thing he's doing. Totally.
Warnings: Eridan going shithive maggots and probably being mildly creepy. Eridan's mouth. Bad musicals. Event stuff, too.

[He should probably let people know he's back. Probably. Probably. Should probably do a lot of things, but he's not really feeling it. He's feeling a lot of things, but that's not the point.

What was the point?

Oh, yeah.

Right.

Watching shitty musicals and singing along and most definitely not doing something stupid. Stupider. Was stupider even a word? It should be. Probably was. Probably should go find the others. Let them know he's okay. Haha. Right. Equius and Jade. Jade and Equius. And the rest too. Sure.

What's he doing here again? Oh right. Musicals. Nice, soothing musicals. Always know where you're standing with a shitty musical, really. Same with a rifle. You're either shooting it or you're getting shot. Either you live or you're dead. Either or. Always, one or the other. Goddammit, life would be so much easier if it were a musical. Worse comes to worst, all you get is a shitty, subpar dance number that no one will ever remember again.  Like that. God, that's a terrible number, and somehow he still remembers the song anyway.

So hey, there's this scrawny, thin boy curled up on a couch with a few blankets, softly singing along the worst musicals known to man. And trying really hard to not do the batshit crazy thing. Because god knows no one needs him to do the batshit crazy thing. Ever. At least he doesn't bite?]

Comments

[geometry]

[Sleeping won't do anything. He delayed getting out of his room for as long as possible, meaning he's more or less caught up n it. Dude's just... stressed. And frightened. He remains sitting on the couch, curled up in an impossibly small position in some impossibly large blankets, and looks up at Eridan.]

[This doesn't make sense.]

...Why?

[chronomancer]

Because...

[How to put into words the disaster that are his thoughts? Easy enough, just don't.]

Just because.

[geometry]

...but you... should hate me. [Presented as the most obviously true statement in the world.]

[This has been another episode of, "Great trains of thought that happen on Tower hiatus". Tune in next week for a special announcement.]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan looks genuinely surprised at that.]

Eh? Why would you think that?

[geometry]

[Because a lot of reasons that he can't explain to you due to the fact that he's pretty bad at articulating at the moment, and also has blown his voice out. But, you know. Whatever.]

'cause I'm... [Words. What are words. It takes a seriously long time before he finishes that sentence.] ...not... worth your time. [Even when you have all the time in the world. He's still not worth it.]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan stares at him for a moment, taking in the sheer amount of pitiable moron in front of him, before he lets out a deceptively huge sigh. It's rather controlled, all things considered, because he's very focused on keeping his shit together and not imploding into a little ball of violence like he so very dearly wants to. But no. Okay. Priorities, Ampora. Priorities. He reaches a hand, and then casually flicks one of Equius' horns. Light enough not to really hurt, but enough it'll be felt.]

Hey.

[He slides a bit down the armrest, reaching out a hand to invite Equius in, rather than just pull him into a hug. Which he wants to do, oh god, he really wants to. But... taking it slow. Not pushing too hard.]

We've talked about this, haven't we? You leave Time and deciding what's worth it to the resident timelord. Which isn't you, I'll remind you.

[geometry]

[But you still want to. You still want to scream at him and give up and agree. And so does he. And yet, it doesn't happen. That's not right. Hence the great big pile of pitiable moron where a yellowblood troll used to be.]

[He doesn't take that invitation. How could he, after what he literally just finished establishing how not worth it he is? He's just not worth it. He's not worth the effort. He's not worth Eridan even giving up a little bit of his infinite timeframe to talk to him. And he's certainly not worth a hug.]

[Maybe speaking would be a bad idea, in case he tries to actually say more than a few words. So he just shakes his head.]

[chronomancer]

[Rather, he wants to find every single person who's ever hurt Equius and scream at them and then indulge in gross acts of violence. But he'll never agree that Equius isn't worth it. Eridan wilts a little, though he only rests his arm along the back of the couch instead.]

You're worth it, to me.

[He offers another thin smile.]

And you're worth waiting for, too.

[geometry]

[Come on, there has to have been some moment.]

[He simply will not believe you if you tell him otherwise.]





[And he doesn't seem to believe you on that second point, either, hence the continuing stare.]

[chronomancer]

[Stare at him all you want, he'll just smile back like the moron he is. <3]

[geometry]

[He can't keep that up for long. So his head turns back down to look at the floor, and the blankets are pulled tighter, higher up the back of his head.]

[He's been deluding himself this entire time, clearly. And so has Eridan. He just hasn't realized it yet. Clearly.]

What have I done?

[To warrant such affection.]

[chronomancer]

What do you mean?

[Eridan blinks a little, behind the sunglasses.]

You haven't done anything wrong, Eq.

[geometry]

[Throats.]

What have I done that's so worth it.






Sorry.

[chronomancer]

You've--

[Eridan sighs again, running a hand through his hair to buy himself more time to put his thoughts in order. His thoughts don't want to be put in order though, so it takes a while, after he shakes his head.]

I could name everything you've done, but you wouldn't believe me.

[He doesn't sound angry, though. Or frustrated. Oddly, he sounds a little sad.]

And I've been thinking. You don't get to do much, but think, where I've been. About you and Jade and Fef and the others. Thinking really hard, so I wouldn't--

[Go crazy again, even though I did, because I already am, maybe I always was, oh god, shut up, not now. No derailing.]

--do something I'd regret. So I've been thinking, and I realized I can't answer that question.

[He offers a little lopsided, self-deprecating smile.]

Because I'm a very selfish troll. It doesn't matter what you do, all I care about is who you are. So I.

[He chuckles again, hollowly.]

I guess I can't answer that question to your satisfaction, huh. Sorry.

[geometry]

[...Well, at least they learned one thing today: Equius will never, ever be able to understand Eridan Ampora. It takes him quite a while before he speaks again. Predictably, it's to clarify; it takes a long time mostly because this is the first time in his life that he realizes something like that could even happen, that people seriously think that way.]

So...

[He really wishes he had more of that water now.]

You just like me for me?

[Even though the voice is really raspy and unpleasant at the moment, he still sounds utterly confused.]

[chronomancer]

[S H R U G]

Pretty much, yeah.

[geometry]

[Ways you know that someone has still not understood the concept of love: this conversation.]

[Don't worry, he'll get it by tonight.]

[But at the moment, he just leans back against the couch in his little blanket chrysalis, shoulder blades now touching that arm that Eridan had set out for him earlier. He just looks up silently at the jadeblood for a while. And then, uhh...]

...thanks.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan's expression softens a little.]

Any time.

[He shifts his arm a little, just to make it more comfortable for both. And otherwise he seems pretty content to stay where he is.]

Honest.

[geometry]

[Pretty content. Pretty content is an ok way to describe it for Equius, compared to the alternative at least, which would be to either be A) way too close to Eridan than his brain can take right now, or B) way too far away.]

[He looks around. It would suck to be in this room alone, on second thought. Alone with himself and the darkness and whatever the hell he knows is lurking on the frayed edges of existence. Or perhaps just on the next floor up the Tower, about to come down--]

[--he cranes his head around to check the stairs. Just in case.]

[Nothing there.]

[We're good.]

[Wow, paranoia really sucks sometimes.]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan notices Equius looking at the stairs, but he says nothing about that. Takes one paranoid nut to know another one, and at least he knows how to handle that. Which is, in his experience, not to handle it at all. Just let Equius be for a while.

He fiddles with his necklace absently, keeping an eye on the stairs himself.]

[geometry]

[Cue more staring at nothing in particular. He can't really say what he's thinking in a few words, like his throat demands; so maybe it'd be better to just say nothing at all.]

[And also casually scoot a bit closer to Eridan. That's good too.]

[chronomancer]

[It's okay. He'll just stay here and keep watch like he promised. He doesn't mind the quiet all that much. And hey, it's not like he's alone so that helps too.

It's pretty peaceful so long as you don't think too hard about anything in particular. Because then it degenerates into manic thoughts and---

Oh well, look who's back to fiddling with the hem of his shirt with the tips of his claws.]

[geometry]

Please don't...

[In reference to the fiddling, of course.]

[That noise is really, really starting to bother him.]

[chronomancer]

Mmm?

[Eridan stops and looks at Equius curiously. Yeah, he. Didn't. Notice. What his hands were doing, sorry.]

[geometry]

Don't... scratch... the fabric. Please.