[OPEN] How much of it's genetics? How much of it is fate?

[chronomancer]

Characters: jade!Eridan & YOU! 
Setting: Workshop
Format: Starting with action, but I'll match you.
Summary: Eridan emerges from his self-imposed exile for a while to clean his rifles.
Warnings: Eridan's deadpan. Potential violence if he gets pissed; lots and lots of rifles. Gamzee. Gory, ironic death via Gamzee. Goddammit, Gamzee.

[He started off with one. And then he doomed himself a few times. And well. It wasn't like he could just let them go to waste, when they started piling up.

Laser rifles need a different type of maintenance than the usual kind, but it's still maintenance in the end.

So there's a sullen troll, half hidden behind a pile of guns, carefully cleaning one by one. It's a methodical and repetitive process, but it's not like Eridan seems to mind too terribly. He's just minding his business, but hey. Maybe if you ask very nicely, he'll give you one.

Maybe.]

Comments

[chronomancer]

Yes.

[He smiles.]

Precisely.

[He might or might not be fucking with you, hon.]

But we can go shooting if you want, once they're clean.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Fucking with her she was sure he was, but she's still going to give him an incredibly deadpan and indignant look behind the glasses.]

We'll be like a group motley of hunters going out to bag us an elk for dinner. Except I don't think any of the monsters around here are very appetizing.

[The small smile was probably indicative of yes, going shooting sounds much more preferable to just sitting around and cleaning guns and she would enjoy this very much.]

[chronomancer]

...well. I suppose we could always hunt the damn things and then find some poor sucker to experiment the whole taste versus poison thing.

[Just, you know. So long as the sucker in question isn't one of his friends, he's cool with the idea.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She smirked at that.]

It'll be the ultimate culinary experiment. For science. I'm sure we could shoehorn some alien here to do it, trollkind or otherwise.

[chronomancer]

...that sounds like a thing we should be doing, yes.

[See? He's not always trying to stop you from doing crazy things, sometimes the idea to do crazy things is his!]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She really shouldn't be so excited for this, but this was basically the best thing since way before October even frikkin' started, to be honest.]

Then hurry the fuck up with your Cinderella duties so we can get this show on the road.

[chronomancer]

I would be done faster if someone would stop whining and start helping...

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Staring at Eridan, then staring at the pile of guns. Then right back to Eridan.]

Yeah, like you'd trust me to touch 'em. Everything I clean turns to pizza mold. [jazz haaaaands]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan just sighs loudly, and then puts a rifle and a rag in each of Jade's hands.]

Just do the same I do, it's not that hard.

[Another sidelook.]

Gun care's important, you know.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She left her fingers unclenched around the objects as she stared at them with a slightly indignant pout. Somehow balancing them so they're not falling, at least.]

Come on mom, I know how to take care of my own toys.

[Grumble grumble, but she finally set the rifle down in front of her and used the rag to start cleaning it.

Even though it was boooooriiiiiiing.]

[chronomancer]

Don't make me have a look at that gun of yours.

[Though his tone makes the thread mocking, he still snorts a little. Also, you shouldn't have told him you knew what you were doing. This like math class, Jade. You look away from 1+1 and come back to the meaning of the universe. In other words, Eridan's hands work fast. 8)]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Except for the whale guts, you'll find it in flawless condition.

[She's...actually I'm not sure if she's joking or not.

Jade was never very good at math, so...ok that is definitely a lie, because she was actually pretty good at math but deliberately failed at it. Regardless of that, she just sort of stared at Eridan's hands blankly as he worked. For a good few minutes actually, and contemplated throwing the rifle at his head and ditching for the cafeteria.

She was nothing if not a fast learner though, and eventually slowly started to try and mimic what he was doing, though not nearly as efficiently or quickly. ]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan paused abruptly.]

...please tell me you're joking.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Hey, I got it all off already, really! Stunk like a bitch for a week or something though.

[Juuuust gonna keep cleaning that rifle.]

[chronomancer]

[After a long moment, Eridan lets out a put upon sigh.]

...do you want me to clean it for you?

[Hey, at least he's not being a scolding nagger.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

No....!

[Can you hear the painfully obvious indignation in her voice?]

Just 'cause I didn't grow up shooting zombies doesn't mean I'm totally useless when it comes to this stuff... [mumble grumble hmph.]

[chronomancer]

[Shrug.]

I ain't judging.

[He totally is. A little. But it's in good faith, really. He's just gonna reach out with the rifle he's cleaning and poke her side with it.]

Just offerin' help.

[A grin.]

And I never said you were useless, did I?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[You really need to stop judging her, man.

She squirmed a bit when Eridan poked her with the rifle, but otherwise was just going to flop on the table and give up at productivity for a little bit and grumble.]

Yeah yeah. Blah blah projecting blah blah some old dude and his mom issues or something. [She's pretty sure she's heard this lecture from David or something?]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan watches her for a moment, lips pursed in thought. And then, you know what time it is? It's luvdisc cuddle time.]

Come here, Strider, I'm going to hug the dumb out of you.

[Let him just proceed to do just that. And purr. How can you argue with your cuddly, purring troll?]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Wha--?

[Yeah she's just gonna stare at you incredulously a bit, kind of awkwardly sitting there without returning the hug but not necessarily pushing him away or anything.]

I'm not being dumb you horses's ass. [Stilllll grumbly.]

[chronomancer]

You're being dumb and defensive.

[It's okay, he knows what he needs to do. Hug the Strider, all the hugs for the Strider.]

So either tell me what's gotten into you, or take hug until you feel better.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Am not. [Though she is keenly aware that she's devolving to really childish deflections.]

This place sucks. Pretty sure that's reason enough. Either way I don't think "hugging into submission" is a thing you can do.

[chronomancer]

[A snort.]

So totally can, it's up next in my list of skills to master, right after I'm done with deadpanning into submission.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

You're way better at deadpanning than hugging, but if you haven't mastered the first one yet, then I think you're shit outta luck.

[It's a really small grin, but he's able to get one out of her nonetheless.]

[chronomancer]

Fuck off, my hugs are awesome.

[They're kind of not? Since he's mostly a sack of bones and pointy corners, but hey, at least he tries.]

Class A pacifying going on here.