towerofanimus | [OPEN] How much of it's genetics? How much of it is fate?

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[OPEN] How much of it's genetics? How much of it is fate?

Characters: jade!Eridan & YOU!
Setting: Workshop
Format: Starting with action, but I'll match you.
Summary: Eridan emerges from his self-imposed exile for a while to clean his rifles.
Warnings: Eridan's deadpan. Potential violence if he gets pissed; lots and lots of rifles. Gamzee. Gory, ironic death via Gamzee. Goddammit, Gamzee.

[He started off with one. And then he doomed himself a few times. And well. It wasn't like he could just let them go to waste, when they started piling up.

Laser rifles need a different type of maintenance than the usual kind, but it's still maintenance in the end.

So there's a sullen troll, half hidden behind a pile of guns, carefully cleaning one by one. It's a methodical and repetitive process, but it's not like Eridan seems to mind too terribly. He's just minding his business, but hey. Maybe if you ask very nicely, he'll give you one.

Maybe.]

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[...welp. That sure just happened, right now.

Eridan takes a moment to watch Karkat, blinking behind the sunglasses, before heaving out a loud, put upon sigh.

Then he goes back to cleaning rifles, though he tries very hard not to upset the pile while putting the clean ones back in and pulling out the dirty ones. It's like playing jenga, except if you screw up, you get a crabby troll screaming - at least that's what Eridan imagines - or at worst, you get to shoot yourself which is one of those stupid ways to die that he's trying to avoid.]

[ only that is not likely to happen. this is the troll kid that had slept on the cold, hard laboratory floor and stayed that way with trolls all around him. this is Karkat Vantas who will, in the future, fall asleep in a horn pile and not even wake when his dreaming self is right next to him.

in other words... he sleeps like a fucking rock.

and if that pile does dislodge? chances are that Eridan is suddenly going to feel a body against his or...

well hello floor, it's good to meet you again. ]

[When the pile does dislodge, Eridan does feel a body against him. And then a pile of rifles tumbling on him. He lets out a surprised squawk and then throws his hands over his head, wincing at the clatter and the sudden weight.

He opens a reluctant eye to find himself half buried in the pile and Karkat lying above the remains, less than a feet away from him.

Sleeping.

Eridan snorts loudly and shakes his head.]

Yeah, you do that.

[ yeah well. it's probably going to get worse.

why, you ask? well i'm so glad you are!

because as Karkat stretches out more, his foot might conduct a "bump test" on some more of those guns. ]

...my life is a shitty remake of a remake of a third rate bad comedy, isn't it.

[He stares at Karkat as he starts to move and stretch.]

Yeah, 'a course it is.

[He sighs again and grunts as he tries to crawl from under the pile, because this is not a good way to die. And while so far none of the rifles have gone off, that's not a thing he wants to test his luck with. Still, he's not enough of an asshole to just shove Karkat into the floor. And the poor dude looks really tired, too.

So Eridan looks around the workshop until he finds one of those rolls of fabric and then pulls one close by to make a messy pile it it. Fabric's nicer than guns to lie on anyway. Of course now that he's got a smallish pile to drop Karkat's unconscious ass on, there's the whole thing about, you know. Actually. Grabbing Karkat (and his ass) and drop him (and his ass) onto that pile.]

Please don't wake up. This is awkward enough already.

[So Eridan reaches out very politely to pull the snoring troll off his rifles.]

[ luckily for Eridan, Karkat is still fairly small. probably doesn't weigh too much.

pulling him by the wrists/arms/what have you, won't wake him up. not yet.

doesn't mean Karkat will let go if Eridan turns to leave him there in that pile.

cause grabbing onto a pantleg. ]

[...why is this his life. Eridan looks down at his leg and the hand stubbornly holding onto it.]

Oh for fuck's sake--

[He tries to tug it free, to no success.]

[ nope. never successful.

Karkat is as latchy as a freshly hatched grub.

pinch or poke. see how that goes. or just stare at that rump some more. that could work too. ]

[Eridan is just gonna stand here for a while and stare. And then he's gonna take off the sunglasses and rub his eyelids with his fingers, resisting the urge to claw out his eyes.

HIS LIFE, WHAT IS IT.]

[ a miserable pile of secrets? or is that serkets?

anyway. the grip is now gone, but a claw or two might be stuck there in the fabric. hard to tell, you know? ]

[...ha. Haha. Funny. ~~Only not.~~

When the grip goes slack, Eridan bends down, trying to untangle Karkat's claws off his pants, one finger at the time.]

[ now the tired, growly voice comes out. you're

touching

his

hand. ]

The fuck're you doing...

[And Eridan actually startles and nearly falls onto Karkat.]

Fuck.

[Once he's fully vertical again, he just sort of looks down at Karkat with an awkward expression on his face.]

Er. Reclaimin' my leg?

[ and at the time, Karkat just curls into himself, hands over his head in preparation for the fall that never fully comes.

when Eridan is back up again, Karkat sits up. hands carding through his hair and looking around.

giving Eridan an eye roll. ]

This is not where I passed out.

No.

[A snort.]

You passed out there.

[He points to the still half-tumbled pile of guns.]

And then I figured neither of us would enjoy dying via accidentally shot rifle, so I moved you here.

[He crosses his arms over his chest, defensive. His entire posture screaming DEAL WITH IT.]

[ that just gets a glare. ]

Why didn't you just turn off the fucking safety?

[There's a small pause.]

...you know jackshit about guns, do you.

[Eridan shakes his head.]

Just because the safety is on doesn't mean it's okay to roll around the fucking things. They could still go off somehow. Especially those, since it's not like I take the ammunition out.

[Did you order a lecture, because you just got a lecture.]

Of course I know fuck all. I use a real weapon, dumbass.

[ now his arms are the ones crossing over his chest. HUFFING. ]

A pile is a goddamned pile.

[Eridan snorts and rolls his eyes.]

Whatever.

[He's not in the mood to pick a fight, and Gamzee will still be pissed at him if he antagonizes his moirail. So yeah, as usual, his efforts go unappreciated. LE SIGH. He's just gonna go back to where he was working.]

[ did he say something?

because now Karkat just kind of looks bewildered. someone's walking away? what?

but he's not screaming about being moved! ]

[To be fair, it's just as far as where the table is, with all the rifles there. Eridan is just going back to work. He figures Karkat will just go back to sleep.

Right?

It's not like he's acting weird or anything...]

[ yeah, not so much. because now Karkat is just thinking. so many thoughts. mostly wondering what the hell just happened.

Eridan's not even trying to quip back? where'd he get all those guns anyway?

so yeap. staring. ]

[He goes back to work, fingers working diligently. He cleans a rifle or two before the weight of that stare becomes really unbearable, so he turns to give Karkat a look over his shoulder, putting down the rag and the rifle he's working on.]

...do you need anything else?

What are you so fucking wound up about?

[ there. he said it. because he can't keep it in his little body any longer. ]

...'m fine.

[A bit testy, but he goes back to work.]

Didn't know it was a crime to not be fuckin' cheery all the time.

[Not that. You know. He does cheery all that often. Or at all.]

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