[CLOSED] A picture is worth a thousand words

[chronomancer]

Characters: Jade!Eridan and OU!Karkat
Setting: The media floor.
Format: Action.
Summary: Eridan and Karkat realize they speak the same language at heart: MOVIES.
Warnings: None, hopefully.

[Eridan is 600% done with this tower. Really. Screw figuring out sign language or the meaning of life and all its mysteries.

He's plopped on a beanbag nibbling on some slices of fresh squash and watching a ridiculous romance comedy. Also snorting under his breath, because. Damn these romcoms, okay. They're kind of funny when they're good, but they're hilarious when they're bad.

And oh man, this one's bad. So, so bad.]

Comments

[chronomancer]

[A miffed sniff of wounded pride, but the plate returns in offer then, and Eridan chews and snorts.]

...they're better fried, but I don't trust the food preparation block to not somehow get me killed.

[The again is faint and bitter, but he keeps it to himself. He's still cranky as hell after his last death, but bitching about Gamzee to his moirail is a low Eridan will not bring himself to even contemplate.]

And don't be mean, Kar. She's suffering.

[Mocking. All the mocking. And then some.]

[papshooshing]

[ not touching that statement with a ten foot pole. Karkat's no idiot. ]

I'll keep that in mind when I feel like cooking again.

[ but for now he almost spits it out laughing. because sarcasm in light of this movie is better. ]

Maybe she should just ask her ex-black lover to off her. I mean she pretty much screwed the pail on that one anyway.

[chronomancer]

[Good Karkat, smart Karkat. Eridan mutters, almost demure:]

The expression you're looking for is kick the bucket, I think.

[The entirety of the joke rest in the delivery, pushed so hard you would expect him to be blushing. Except he's not, and in the smirk there's a hint of unkind teeth.]

[papshooshing]

[ this expression. did you just make a joke. about dying and pails? ]

[chronomancer]

[He so just did. While eating squash and looking supremely at peace with himself.

Whoops.

And then there's a very nasal snort that very nearly breaks into an actual laugh, when the suffering girl makes an ashen pass at her stranded black ex.]

Oh, please.

[papshooshing]

[ that comment along with the action on the screen makes Karkat burst out laughing.

it really is kind of pathetic to make an ashen pass at your black ex. shows just how much she desperately needed this asshat in her life to the point of desperately latching. ]

[chronomancer]

Yes, yes, because that's how healthy ashen ships start.

[Oh wow, the sarcasm is back! Thick and brutal.]

Even wigglers know better than that, holy shit.

[papshooshing]

I actually think she's kind of red for the asshole.

[ another groan and he takes a few more bites. ]

Seriously. The person that wrote this should have been taken to the culling fields. Or maybe he did later, because clearly he doesn't understand how quadrants work.

[chronomancer]

Seriously.

[And here we introduce the second slice of Eridan's humor, after the offensively morbid: self-deprecation.]

Fuck, when I can tell you're fucking up your quadrants, you're already heading for the culling block, holy shit.

[Then a pause.]

Oh fuck, she's not gonna--

[But she did, and the entire quadrant mess was compounded by an entirely unnecessary murder-suicide threat that made Eridan crack a malicious laugh.]

That's so baaaaaaaaad.

[papshooshing]

[ welp. give Karkat a moment to just stare at that scene. ]

Oh my god. Are you watching a B movie or a romance?

[chronomancer]

I don't even know anymore. The only thing that could make this worse is if the whole sequence were a dre--

[Eridan facepalmed and said no more. He's really lost all ability to can.]

[papshooshing]

Yeap. And now she's going to go skip around and be ever so fucking grateful for her life and quadrantmates. Find ways to set it straight and be the best goddamn whatever quadrantmate at the time in all of history.

[ these flicks were so predictable. and stupid. oh god so stupid. ]

I say I pick out the next one.

[chronomancer]

Be my guest, I doubt you can subject me to anything worse I've done to myself.

[Eridan snorts good naturedly, then chokes on a cackle at an attempted last mishap scene.]

How did any of you crawl out of the caverns alive, grubfucking hell.

[papshooshing]

Probably.

[ he jumps up and scours through the movies. this time? he can't find his favorite troll movie, but does find the human equivalent.

50 First Dates can't be that bad, right? ]

[chronomancer]

[Well, they were about to find out, either way. Eridan is very unfussy about letting Karkat take control of the selection, minding his squash and generally being his usual, wallpaper-self.]

[papshooshing]

I apologize for this. No fucking clue if it will be good or not, but the Alternian version was one of my favorite movies ever.

[ Karkat's just going to settle back, getting comfortable once more. ]

[chronomancer]

Don't worry about it. I've been summarily cured of my notions that all human cinema is hideous.

[He snickers, but it softens a little, betraying some curiosity.]

I'm kinda curious now, anyway.

[papshooshing]

[ let's face it. Karkat is going to like this movie anyway. he can't help it. watch as he starts to hover over the edge of the couch. ]

[chronomancer]

[It's okay, he can sit down with BLEEDING-FUCKING-STARCHILD-HEART Ampora who can't handle well done romcoms without melting into a puddle of invested feels. This is why squash is good snack food, it keeps you gnawing on something so you don't ruin your scarf.]

[papshooshing]

[ Karkat's going to need another squash. just so that he can nibble on something in anxiety. he might know roughly that this will end happily, but gawsh. he can have FEELS along the way.

at least the funny parts in this are meant to be funny. ]

[chronomancer]

[...he's a concerned movie-goer. Whenever a scene gets DRAMATIC, the plate tacitly makes it way to Karkat again. Otherwise, it's mostly just soft chuckles or sharp inhales or just very poignant quiet.]

[papshooshing]

[ Karkat might be subconsciously scooting closer too. he doesn't have his favorite cushion to cling and claw at during dramatic sequences. ]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan has a scarf to quietly bite into every now and then, when things get exciting, but for the most part he contents himself with worrying the hem of his shirt with his claws, whenever tensions rise on screen. If Karkat's getting closer, Eridan is not making any movement to point it out.]

[papshooshing]

[ man, they really need a blanket to make this movie thing legit.

it's all right, though. because Karkat gets all wibbly soon enough, little bits of pale red dotting at the corners of his eyes. ]

[chronomancer]

[But Eridan reserves the use to cuddle under blankets with his matesprit, sorry bro. It's still pretty sweet though. At some point, Eridan does end up going "aww" under his breath. And hey, he's definitely not snarking.]