[CLOSED] It's quick. It's clean. It's pure.

[chronomancer]

Characters: The waffailsprits, Jade!Eridan Ampora and Yellow!Equius Zahhak.
Setting: Floor 8, the forest.
Format: Action.
Summary: In which marksmanship and shooting lessons are interrupted because Equius hair is a crime against humanity and Eridan has run out of spare sunglasses at long last.
Warnings: Awkward, awkward teens in love. Also brushes and hairbands and long-winded bitching about the cold.

[Eridan is a few minutes late to his appointment with Equius - it's not a date, none of them are dates, can his brain please stop making this weird - for the first time since they began. He walks down the staircase and into the snowed floor of the forest, rifle already in hand.]

Sorry.

[He's trying really hard not to make this weird and hoping Equius won't say anything about it, but it's kind of hard not to considering he feels so goddamn naked as it is.]

Ready for this?

Comments

[geometry]

Right, right... ready.

[He makes an attempt to loosen that big old knot of muscle. Unfortunately, it ha grown to almost an ever-present fixture of his body by this point, so Equius can't be rid of it completely... but he does a pretty good job, all things considered, and it's much less glaring now. Combining that with the other things Eridan pointed out, Equius stood in position for quite a long time. He was waiting for Eridan to point something else out he was doing wrong.]

[When that didn't happen, he shot. Twice. They hit the mark much better than last time.]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan approached after the two shots.]

That was good! Now you might want to...

[Hands on Equius arm, he trailed off a little as he took a moment to actually see Equius' hair.]

...yeah okay. Sticking my foot down my throat in the name of marksmanship. Hon, can you actually see through those bangs?

[geometry]

[...Well that was quick.]

[Give him a second--]

O-of course I can!

[chronomancer]

[This is Eridan forgetting all about personal space bubbles and trying to push some of Equius' hair behind his ear and finding he sort of can't.]

Are you sure? Because bangs can be distracting sometimes. I know mine are.

[geometry]

[Bitch, this hair ain't going noplace.]

Yes, I'm sure...

[He doesn't sound very sure, but then again, that could just be Equius.]

[chronomancer]

[Yeah, the hair ain't going noplace, but Eridan's fingers might be stuck in it, though.]

Because you could always pull it into a ponytail or--

[Yep. Stuck.]

Eq?

oh my god

[geometry]

What?

[Probably the most mortified 'what' that this world has ever seen.]

[chronomancer]

[He's trying hard not to laugh.]

I think your hair is trying to eat my hand.

you know, this reminds me of one au i had where karkat's hair was so messy it was his fetch modus

[geometry]

It's trying to--

[Pause.]

[And suddenly he goes utterly yellow.]

Shit! Oh god, I'm sorry! Oh god! [...and so on, as he tries to untangle the hideous mess that is his hair and Eridan's poor forearm.]

...my new headcanon is that it WAS his fetch modus until Sollux took pity on him and gave him

[chronomancer]

[his canon one. "Pity". Because encryption modus for Karkat. Yea.

Eridan laughs, smiling wryly up at Equius as he finally extracts his hand. Equius hair looks, if possible, even gnarlier.]

Yeah, okay. That's it. C'mon, lesson adjourned, your hair has a date with my hairbrush.

that's a good headcanon and you should feel good.

[geometry]

What?

[fhjdks]

I-isn't this more important than the state of my hair?

you always give me the best ideas, I swear

[chronomancer]

[Eridan tugs Equius by the wrist, before he holds onto his arm by the elbow. Then he pats that arm with his other hand, leaning in to smile patiently up at him.]

Don't argue hair with me, hon, you're not going to win.

I am not sorry

[geometry]

[...]

You're probably right.

[He's grumbling, but as he said, Eridan is correct. You really can't argue hair with him. Look at that stuff.]

good, you shouldn't be

[chronomancer]

[Wait until you realize the hair strip is natural.]

And this might possibly be the one thing I'll ever be right on, so let's bask on it. Besides, everyone likes having their hair brushed.

[Unless you're Gamzee. But then, Gamzee.]

You'll like it.

[geometry]

[Equius sincerely doubts this, and it shows.]

Ugh... fine.

[chronomancer]

Don't sulk at me.

[Nope, still guiding you up.]

When have I let you down, really?

[geometry]

I'm not sulking.

[Equius Zahhak does not sulk. ...He deals with it.]

Do... do you want to go to a different floor for this or are we just going to do it in the middle of an area where bugs can crawl into my hair?

ICONS, CAN I STOP CHOOSING THE WRONG ONE?

[chronomancer]

We're going back to my room. Because as hard as it is to believe it, I don't actually carry a brush with me all the time.

No. Never.

[geometry]

Could've fooled me.

[Still looking at that hair.]

[chronomancer]

Ha. Ha.

[Have a side look.]

The hell's wrong with my hair?

[He brushes and styles it perfectly ever morning. Every. Morning.]

[geometry]

[!!]

N-nothing's wrong with your hair! That wasn't what I--

[That was... loud.]

...never mind.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan sighs.]

Relax, Eq.

[Yep, still holding onto that arm. It's the only way he'll keep you from bolting.]

But you're right, there's nothing wrong with my hair.

[geometry]

[Sigh.]

What I meant was... your hair is always in perfect order all the time, so I figured you would carry a brush around to keep it like that all day.

[chronomancer]

Oh.

[He shrugs.]

Nah. I fix it in the morning and I usually stay far away from shit that I don't get messed up. Well, nothing a hand through it won't fix anyway.

[geometry]

Oh.

[...Yeah, he wouldn't know anything about that, since his hair has basically been messed up by every substance known to trollkind.]

[Quietly, he heads for the staircase.]