towerofanimus | [OPEN] you waste your time with hate and regret

Entry tags:

[OPEN] you waste your time with hate and regret

Characters: Jade!Eridan Ampora('s half dead carcass) and YOU.
Setting: Floor 12.
Format: Action, but I'll match you.
Summary: Nobody told Eridan sleeping in this cold is a bad, bad idea. What did you expect from him? He knows how to survive extreme heat, not extreme cold.
Warnings: Jadeblood popcicles. Jadeblood popcicles for everyone. Also Eridan sliding down the slippery slope of murderously batshit crazy, yay.

[Watching the universes ending and stars imploding and the whole thing... it's rather soothing. Sort of. Eridan was in dire need of soothing things, to put his mind back together. He'd intended to maybe sit there for a couple hours, watching the stars dying, and trying to calm himself down from an abrupt, nonsensical rage that even he could tell was irrational. He'd been pushing down a bubble of hysteria for the better part of four days now, mostly because hysteria meant bad, bad things for all involved, but maybe if he went at it slowly, it wouldn't be so bad. Because meltdowns totally work that way, obviously. Though even he had to admit that he couldn't keep on pretending everything was right and peachy. Putting on a smile and going through the motions was getting almost physically painful, but he didn't want anyone to get hurt. (And of course, being a responsible troll and asking Jade for a feelings jam was not an idea that occurred to him, either, because what is doing the right thing, haha, you must have confused him for someone else, Eridan Ampora never does the right thing unless Paradox Space has him at metaphorical gun point about it.)

Eridan watched the cycles of destruction repeat over and over again, while he tried to put order to the mess that is his head, but it wasn't long before he started feeling sleepy instead. Not really knowing any better, and given the alternative was thinking more about Rei and such, he started nodding off, fueled by the cold.

Which is why you'll find him tucked away in a corner of the room, face buried into his knees, arms around his ankles and limbs already stiff. The sleeves of that jacket have been brutalized already, but hey. At least there isn't a single bloodstain on this floor.

Yet.]

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[It's not the Eridan he's used to, is it? No, the usual purple streak isn't there. That should have been a dead giveaway, but it was hard for him to notice when the troll was curled up as he was.

It doesn't matter which one it is, really.]

Kinda hanging out here all on your motherfuckin' lonesome, ain't you? I can chill with a bro if he wants; waste a few fuckin' minutes to get my chat on about whatever harshness has you down.

...Motherfuck, it's all kinds of cold. You should get something like one of those human bed wrappings to get all rolled up in.

[A hollow, raspy laugh bounced somewhere in Eridan's chest, no more cheerful than a shuddering cough. It wasn't even a chore, understanding whatever the fuck Gamzee was saying. Translating it. It was a chore to understand what he meant, but Eridan was gone enough he didn't care to even try. Instead he shrugged.]

You stop feeling it, after a while.

[Everything.]

The cold, I mean.

[Yeah, when your body starts doing like a popcicle and freezing inside out.]

That ain't no good though, is it?

[The boy frowned, reaching back to lay a hand against Eridan's cold skin. The frown only deepened as he did.]

Shit, you're like a fuckin' Erisicle.

[All he can think to do for that is to shrug off his hoodie (brr) and just sorta flop it on top of the troll.

It's just a loan, of course. He likes that hoodie.]

It's okay.

[It's really not. It's boiling again and he's tired of pretending there's not an anthill crawling the inside of his skull, but what is he supposed to do instead? He stares at Gamzee for a moment, before taking the hoodie and trying to wrap it around the boy instead.]

I'm fine, really.

[Erisicle is the most appropriate term for this, even as he tries to ignore it. He feels sluggish and that only adds to the frustration and there's something really fucked up with the way he's smiling - the way it's so transparently a lie - that makes this whole charade all the more infuriating.]

Aight, aight. [Gamzee takes the article of clothing back with very little arguing on that front.

Something clearly isn't right, though. Or at least he assumes it isn't. He has to remember that this isn't the Eridan he's used to, as that one wouldn't be nearly as... not-whiny about this.]

Maybe I can be getting you something hot to guzzle down? Here, might be you can just put the friction on your limbs like this...

[And he tries to rub at the nearest bit of exposed skin with one hand.

So much for not caring.]

[That feels actually kind of painful, but it's probably just the shock of temperature and forcing skin to not frost itself. Eridan winces a little, putting a hand on Gamzee's and just barely resisting the urge to sink in his claws to make it stop.

...okay no, that's mean. It's not fair to take it out on Gamzee, but fuck if his hackles aren't raised already and having the boy trying to help is only making it worse.]

Don't worry about it, it's not that bad, really.

[And then, almost, almost pleadingly.]

Gamzee, are you alright?

[Because surely Gamzee wants something from him. He can handle people wanting something from him just fine. But this concern thing is just driving him crazy and that stops being funny when he was already crazy in the first place.]

[Is it that obvious? No, it can't be. He doesn't have 'lonely human loser' written across his forehead or anything. Or maybe this Eridan is better at reading humans, even though he's fairly certain there's nothing all that different in that regard.

Aw, fuck. That's just stupid.]

Yeah, bro. You're the one all fuckin' grub curled over here.

I was just gonna get my chat on with a you I wasn't knowing nothin' about, but I can save that shit.

That's my thing. Along with the fountains of jade spewing everywhere every so often, being a fucking grub half the time. Totally my thing. Haha.

[This is awkward laughter. Anything else you might have heard before was not awkward laughter, it was just a pale imitation of the depths of awkwardness this sound can unleash on anyone around it. It also sounds like something's dying, which is possibly just his soul. A little. Whoops. Give him a moment to get his wits about him.

God, he really doesn't want to get his wits about him. He's not entirely sure he still has wits to get but hey, once more, here's someone who needs/wants something from him. Obviously, he needs to pull it together for their sake. Besides, Gamzee was being nice to him. It's not his fault Eridan kept feeling the urge to claw his eyes out and maybe tear out his throat with his teeth. Figure out what he looked like, bleeding all red and human like--

Yeah no. Focus, Eridan. Focus. It's Gamzee. A Gamzee. Just. Slow breaths. It's rare enough that anyone wants to talk to him just for no good reason, he really shouldn't let the chance go to waste. Though on the other hand, Gamzee couldn't have worst timing. Though on the other other hand, if he sends him away, maybe he won't come back. Though on the other other other hand, maybe he does want something and he's being coy. He's a Makara after all. Sly fucking son of bitches, the lot of them. But no. Not fair. We don't judge people for who their alternate universe selves are.

Even if their alternate universe selves are full of pretty indigo blood that would look real neat gushing out from a headless neck because---

Focus.

After perhaps too long a moment, he clears his throat, blinking up at Gamzee with slightly manic eyes.]

Sorry, it's okay. What did you want to talk about?

[Gamzee just stares at him a moment, fairly certain now that this Eridan is not okay and that he should at least get him somewhere warmer before they talk about anything.]

Hey, uh... Why don't we at least go on up to my place. It's a little more motherfuckin' comfortable than what all we got to sit around on here.

[If the troll is going to look at him that way the whole time, he's not sure he'll be entirely comfortable just talking anyway.]

[But he chose this place because it's mostly empty as it is. And then no one has to get hurt. And... and... Eridan concentrated on breathing slowly and offered a stiff shrug to Gamzee's proposal.]

Well, if you want to, sure.

[Because this is for Gamzee's benefit, not his own, right. Right. He'll just go, talk a little, then he can come back and go on with his business. Right?]

Ain't all too much of a fuckin' mess. I'll show you where it's at, yeah?

[He stands, offering a hand out to the troll and hoping he'll just follow along.]

Okay.

[He's overdoing the meek right now, a little, but it's better to err on the side of caution, right? Especially when the alternative is throwing himself at the kid and then squeeze his neck until his eyes pop out like a---

Whoa there, okay. No. Calm down.

Eridan nods slowly and follows after Gamzee, very carefully monitoring his thoughts. They're not nice thoughts. He hopes Gamzee doesn't notice.]

[Thankfully, Gamzee is a simple human and lacks any sort of mind reading, thus remaining blissfully unaware of any unpleasant thoughts he may be involved in.

This doesn't mean the walk to his room isn't still awkwardly silent for most of the way.

He knocks first when he gets there, to make sure no one else is in, before leading the troll over to sit on his bed. It smells faintly of bath soap, for reasons he'll try to avoid mentioning.]

Same as everyone else's got.

Edited 2012-12-16 02:53 (UTC)

[Eridan can handle the awkward silence. Awkward silence makes up for time he gets to put his head in order and not freak out too much about anything so that's okay. Yay for awkward silence.

He offers Gamzee a very small smile as they enter the room, fingers stuck into the depths of his jacket's pockets, where they can writhe and twitch in peace, unseen.]

's okay. I haven't really seen you around since last time we talked. How're you holding up?

[Because 'how are you doing' in the tower is always universally answered badly.]

[Sit on the bed, Eridan. Sit, so he can flop his blanket around you like a good bro. Look at this hospitality.]

...Holding, I guess.

Got all the human parts of me I should got. Friendly as fuck roommate...

[Hold on while he tries to think of something else positive. Might take a while.]

[He's not sure how to handle your hospitality, kid, specially when he's still trying to curb the urge to murder you a little. Just a little.]

That's good.

[This is the single most pitiful attempt at an encouraging smile in the history of ever. It's so bad it almost deserve a medal.]

[Yeah, that's pretty bad. Gamzee's hardly bothered, though. He's a little pleased to have company. Even strange company.]

It'll do, anyway. Not all much else.

[...]

Hey, do you... got anyone else here from where you were at?

[Given his quadrants are from his own world, you'd expect him to think of them first. But given his frame of mind isn't the most positive thing in the world right now, he thinks of Karkat and Kanaya instead. And that only causes a flash of repressed aggression to cross his face, lip twitching to bare a fang. Then he smooths out his expression, shrugging and thinking of Jade.]

Yeah, a few.

Don't know all so much about your fuckin' situation, but from where all I sit that's something I can be mother fucking jealous over.

[Best friend or worst enemy, not a single other person from his universe has yet to show. Perhaps it's for the best, but it doesn't fell like it.]

[Oh well, excuse Eridan, he's just going to curl up at the foot of Gamzee's bed and all casual like gonna sink his claws into his ankles, clean through the denim, don't mind him, he's being subtle and shit.]

You miss your friends, huh? I feel you there.

[He shrugs, not entirely sure how to answer.]

Ain't so simple as all that. It's a little motherfuckin' complicated. Let's put it down to a bro missing what all he thought his friends to be.

[Something ugly coils in the back of Eridan's mind, turning his piss poor attempt of a smile into something bitter.]

Sometimes it's better if they stay just memories, though.

[Memories don't fuck you over.]

Might be.

[He can't really argue with that.]

S'just worse when every motherfucker here looks the same except me.

[Eridan is sadly wholly ignorant of your backstory, Gamzee. But that's okay, it wouldn't be a grilling session otherwise.]

You mean, 'cause you're not a troll?

[Eridan hasn't really given it much choice about the whole thing, except that he probably shouldn't attempt to roughhouse with this Gamzee the same way he does with the other one. But that's more of a general rule to not roughhouse with anyone but the other Gamzee, since they might object to getting hurt and such. And wow, that was a terrible train of thought and he's gonna focus solely on this Gamzee before he does or says something stupid. Or stupider than usual.]

Yeah...

[Because none of them should be. Because it was a false concept, a reality created by the programmers.]

There's a small part of me what still can't all acknowledge this place as real.

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