towerofanimus | I Don't Think That's How...

Entry tags:

I Don't Think That's How...

Characters: Zero Lancer and whoever would like to join!
Setting: Starting in room 4-16, then heading to the cafeteria, and from there floor six.
Format: Whatever you would like!
Summary: Zero Lancer wakes up in a strange place and tries to figure out what's going on.
Warnings: Spoilers for Lancer's end in the series.

Room 4-16

[The moment he is able to move from the strange paralysis that has gripped him upon waking, Lancer's hand sweeps out to grab one of the two letters his eyes spot on the table near his bed. While the time he's been unable to move has been brief, for a trained warrior in a unfamiliar place, that time has still seemed like an eternity.

An eternity trapped in mystery. An eternity not knowing if his master...]

Right, my master...

[The word drips with an anger unusual to him as his empty hand rises to rest over his heart--over the place where there should have been a gaping hole from the spear he had been forced to drive through his own chest.

The wound is no longer there.]

What is going on? How can this be?

[Lancer's eyes focus back on the letter in his hand and he quickly opens it. After only a few moments, the letter floats onto his bed. Dropped in surprise? Shock? He's not really sure what to call the feeling that tears through his heart. Shock he had felt when he had been betrayed by the master he'd given everything to. Surprise he had felt when he realized, in those final moments, how angry it had made him.

The emotion he feels now that he has been told that his world is dead and he is still alive instead of it being the other way around is something he can't put a name to. And while he doesn't know what to call that emotion, he does know he can't just keep sitting on the bed in this strange place wondering what's going on.

Lancer quickly rises to his feet and summons his armor and spear to his side. The summoning is as natural to him as breathing and he never once doubts that they will come when called. He does, however, notice that while the white outfit had woke up in is now gone, the collar is still there. It's an annoyance, but something he can deal with later once he's gotten some answers.

He's about to leave his room when the trunk at the end of his bed catches his eye. He's not quite sure why, but he gets the feeling he should really look into it before leaving. If the letters had held information, then why not the trunk as well?

Anyone who happens by 4-16 and looks or stops in may find him still kneeling in front of the now opened trunk. Asking about what looks to be the tears in the corners of his eyes may or may not be a good idea.]

The Cafeteria

[While servants technically don't have to eat, since Lancer has no idea how things work in this strange place, he is currently eating a bowl of very tasteless oatmeal. Not that it really bothers him considering some of the things he had eaten while in the Fianna and on the run from Fionn. Tasteless actually is an improvement from what some of those things had tasted like.

To be honest, he's not here for the food anyway. Since the cafeteria was mentioned in the letter, it only stands to reason that a good number of people would be there--new and old alike. And that does seem to be the case, so the servant in green sits at one of the cafeteria tables slowly making his way through his own bowl, his head bowed over it almost as if he's shy. While he's not really shy, he is somewhat worried about his curse and how it will affect the people here. So far, though, no one seems to be having troubles with it leading him to hope that it's not active. Those who take the time to look into his eyes will find that, far from looking shy, they are observing the room and its occupants with an intensity that only those who have fought many many a battle can achieve.]

Floor Six

[After learning all he can in the cafeteria, Lancer decides to slowly start making his way back up the tower so that he can find out what secrets each floor holds. Already he's heard tell that many of the floors are dangerous and even deadly to those who make a misstep on them, but this floor seems far too peaceful for that. He takes a few steps away from the stairway, but doesn't go too far, keeping in mind the things he had overheard from others. How some floors look completely safe, only to become deathtraps in the blink of an eye.

Movement to his left draws Lancer's attention, but he smiles when he notices it's just a deer. A...mutated deer, but a deer just the same. In all honesty, it's not the strangest thing he's seen. He grew up in a world of oddities after all.

The deer watches him for a few moments longer before disappearing back into the forest. As it disappears, Lancer closes his eyes and draws in a deep breath. Maybe it is just because of what he found in his trunk, but this forest with all its oddities makes him feel strangely at home.

Unconsciously, his hand raises to touch the torc that sits tightly around his neck slightly above the collar. He could have worn it lower as he had when it had first been given to him, but no. Lancer can't stand the idea of the gift Oscar had spent so much time finding for him being hidden by that thing...that annoyance he still hasn't found a way to be rid of.

And so he stands there, lost in thought. Thoughts of the old days, of his old friends, things supposedly on a world that might or might not have been destroyed. He still isn't sure what he believes. He just knows that at least here he has these small things, these memories.

He didn't have any of that in the war...]

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[Lancer blinks. So the Saber she knew is the one that he knows? That had to be the case, because how else would she know Saber's true name? But what of that Saber's aforementioned gold eyes? It didn't make any sense.]

If she is who I believe her to be, then I had the honor of fighting as her left hand during the 4th Grail War. We had a duel ongoing and I couldn't let anyone defeat her before we finished.

[His face and voice suddenly sadden.]

It is just a shame that fate was cruel enough to decide our duel was one that would never be finished no matter how much we wished it to be.

[Catarina looked at him, her face stony. One from a War she was in. One that had an attachment to her in fighting. She stepped closer to him, her lips quirking]

And you want to finish it.

Yes, it would be an honor to finish the duel. That is, if she still so wishes it as well. It's not something that I would force on her, though I suspect that we will have to decide on a new way to determine the winner if she wishes to continue. As we are no longer enemies on opposite sides of the battlefield, I have no desire to seriously hurt or kill her. I would hope she feels the same way.

[Lancer watches her reactions as he speaks. He still can't understand why her personality and even her presence changed so suddenly and completely when they started talking about Saber. Even if they are good friends, it seems a little extreme.

And why would Saber be hanging around someone like her anyway? How well did they actually know each other? The way this woman talks, she seems to know Saber almost as well as she knows Cu C....his roommate and that shouldn't be possible.

After all, why would someone as honorable as the King of Knights be hanging out with a self-proclaimed demon?]

... heh. Honor. So many of you speak of such a think as if it means something. [Her hand came up to touch his face, fingers close to the love spot]

And if she isn't who you remember?

[Lancer's first instinct is to pull away from her touch, but he realizes almost instantly that is probably what she wants. So, much like he has for most of this conversation, he forces himself into stillness--his eyes on her own.]

If she's not the Saber I know or if she is and she doesn't wish to associate with me again, then I will let her do as she pleases. It's not my place to tell a king what to do. I am merely a knight bound to preform what is asked of me.

[His eyes shift just slightly to the side, off from hers, and his voice drops to a whisper. For a moment, it's almost like he's not aware he's saying what he is out loud.]

Besides, after seeing what happened to me in the war and how I reacted, I guess it wouldn't be too surprising if she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Perhaps wishing to meet her again is just a foolish dream like so many others I've had in the past.

[She let him talk for the first part, her features turning triumphant... before he looked away and continued speaking. Her fingers tightened on his face and an animal's growl burbled in her throat.]

What did you do to her?

[He looks back at her, startled at first by her question, but then seems to realize he had been talking out loud much to his embarrassment.]

W-what do you mean, what did I do to her? I did nothing to her! It was she...she who saw...

[His voice falls so low that it's not even really a whisper now--just the barest of sounds on the breeze.]

My Master force me to commit suicide right in the middle of our duel. When I realized what had happened, that everything was ending like...that, I snapped. I said such horrible things. Such dishonorable things. Things no knight should ever think let alone say!

Not only am I a failure of a knight, you are right. I should not speak of honor. I no longer have the right to.

[With that, she surged up and forward. What would normally be called a kiss was more than that- this was an attack. Both physically from the sheer viciousness of her lips against his and metaphysically due to how fast she started to drain his prana. She growled against his lips, his words in her ears. Honor. Dishonor. Why were Lancers so obsessed with such a stupid thing?!]

[Usually, the weight of a human wouldn't bother a servant, but her attack catches Lancer completely off guard after he lets himself fall a little too far into his own emotions. He stumbles, and while such a little balance trouble wouldn't normally bother someone as agile as Lancer is, this time fate seems to conspire against him. With her so tightly wrapped around him, Lancer can't steady himself fast enough to keep them both upright and so, seconds later, they find themselves flat on the ground where fate takes one last jab at Lancer before it calls its job done.

She lands squarely on top of him.

Fortunately, though, the fall has separated their mouths and he takes the opportunity to push her far enough back that he can look her squarely in the eyes.

Lancer only speaks one word, but that word carries the tone of an order that won't be given again.]

Stop.

[Catarina snarled back, all manner of what he tried to name her gone. Her entire mannerism was now animal, angry and predatory. Her teeth snap at him, but due to him pushing her away, it couldn't land anywhere near him]

Lancers and honor! It's a stupid thing! This place will kill you a thousand times for it!

[Even her words had a wolf's growl on the edge of each one]

[Yet another personality shift. By now, it's obvious to Lancer that she's not what he originally named her, but something much more dangerous and deadly. Something without a name probably for very good reasons.

But he's upset. Waking in such a strange place, dealing with the emotions that his betrayal had awakened, and now dealing with her who so easily seemed to be able to dredge up emotions he'd rather keep hidden. It's almost too much for him to deal with at once and as a result, he's not acting the way a knight normally would. In fact, he's acting decidedly unknightly in a way that Saber, where she here, might recognize.]

What does it matter to you? Why do you even care? I'm just some stranger you happened to meet a few moments ago in this place full of strangers. Is it merely because I have a pretty face? Shall I just give you what you want so that you will leave me be?

[She looked down on him, and her face crumbled slightly. Youth shone in her demonic face, the fact she was barely an adult... and guilt. Guilt at what she did eating at her, telling her that Lancer was a better choice to ally with than the administrators, that she shouldn't have done what she did. The same guilt that led her to the angel she had sold out back in her world, and freeing her from the people trying to use her]

Shut up.

[Lancer falls silent, though he does raise an eyebrow as if to suggest the silence will only be temporary if she doesn't give him a reason why he should remain so rather quickly.

In the meantime, he studies her face. She is quite a bit younger than he'd originally thought from her actions. And quite a bit more troubled. What had he stumbled onto that had upset her so? And why did it hurt her so much that she went to such great lengths to try and hide it from the world?]

You speak of things you don't understand. Things you will never understand. [Her hips rolled slightly against Lancer's body as she looked down at him] Honor... why... why do you even need to know?

[Lancer lightly rests his hands on her waist to still her motions. If they are finally getting somewhere, he's not about to let her distract either of them with her little games. When he speaks, his voice is as light and gentle as his touch.]

I could ask you the same thing, Lady. Why are you so hung up on honor? What has happened to you that you react so strongly to it? For me, it is as much a part of me as one of my limbs. It has always been a part of my life and losing it would be like losing an arm or a leg. I am crippled. If I have no master here and I cannot strive to be honorable, then tell me, what am I suppose to do?

[Her hands instantly came to his head, caressing his face as she leaned her body against his]

Live. You Lancers...

[Her voice was strangled with memory]

I should twist your head off for reminding me of that.

I'm afraid you don't understand and I'm not sure how to explain it to you. Honor and loyalty are my life. Without them...

[His voice shakes slightly because this is something he truly fears.]

Without them...I have nothing. I am nothing... I shouldn't even exist right now. Without those things...

[He takes a deep breath to study himself and gladly shifts his focus from himself to her.]

I don't understand what I could have reminded you of, but it's obvious the memory hurts you deeply. For that, I am very sorry. Hurting you was never my intent.

It doesn't matter. Honor will get you killed. Living... the hound said the same- [She clamped her teeth down around her disjointed thoughts, peeling herself off Lancer]

You're disgusting.

[Once she moves away from him, Lancer sits up and rests his arms across his knees. For a few moments, he just watches her trying to sort out her thoughts. When the insult comes, he merely shrugs his shoulders. Though she has no way of knowing, she is far from the first person to call him that. It is a...familiar...insult.]

I suppose I am. At least, a good many people have called me that in my life. Though, I guess they probably had reason all things considered.

[One of his hands unconsciously brushes across the mole on his face.]

Honor has gotten me killed...twice now. I suppose I just never learn.

[Her eyes focus on the spot, narrowing]

... humans. Cursed... damnable... humans. What you believe... it makes no sense.

No, I suppose it probably doesn't make much sense to one such as you. Tell me, if it was your choice, what would you have me think? Would you really have me abandon something that has been part of my life for so long?

[His hand drops back to rest across his knees after one last rub at the spot.]

Though you couldn't be more correct about the cursed part. I am indeed cursed. At least for now, the curse doesn't seem to be active. I doubt I could really be so lucky as to have it stay that way.

Yes! There is no reason to live holding onto something that will have people laugh at you and stab you in the back! A life with honor is a life deluded.

[She watched him rub the spot, suddenly desiring to put her lips on it and taste for herself. But... this time, she held back. Catarina stood slowly, turning away]

[Lancer lowers his head and shakes it slightly.]

It's not so easy to do, Lady. I'm afraid we may be at an impasse. Even at the risk of those things, even after having experienced some of those things, I do not think I can so easily let go. If I did, I wouldn't be me anymore.

And if my foolishness bothers you so much, perhaps it is best you forget there is a second Lancer here and instead just focus on worry about your hound.

[She had already been thinking about taking that advice and leaving him alone, but a part of her now... ever so childishly wanted to hurt him. To eat him in more than one way and leave him hurting. But right now... she just started walking away]

[Lancer lets her go without another word. He feels like there is more he should say--that they should discuss--but at the same time, he feels drained in more ways than one. Continuing their conversation at this point would probably only anger her and upset him.

He has a very strong feeling that they will be meeting again soon, and he can only hope she doesn't end up coming out on top again...]

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I Don't Think That's How...

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Congats, you now have a pile of Lancer bits. What do? ;-)

Be Catarina, that's what

Yes, encourage the E-Ranked luck to trigger. Good thinking.... X.x

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