Counter Guardian Arturia @ Tower of Animus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
no_longer_a_king) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-01-06 06:41 pm
no_longer_a_king) wrote in towerofanimus2013-01-06 06:41 pm
ITP: Meandering
Characters: Arturia Pendragon [AU5] and anyone
Setting: Dorms, Floor One, Floor Twenty-threefour, and Floor Thirty-eight.
Format: Prose
Summary: Arturia wakes up in the tower after what must be countless centuries of forced combat.... and has no idea what to do with herself!
Warnings: DEATH! WOOHOO! In the first post, too! \o/
[Room 03-17]
It was with a jolt and a gasp that she finally sat up, hand going to her neck only to find the collar there but all the same she could move. She could move. She could breathe.
"W-what?"
She could speak.
What was this place? Yet another battlefield in which she'd be made to slaughter guilty and innocent alike endlessly, an angel of death garbed in blood-stained white for all to see? It made no sense to her. None whatsoever. She glanced around the room for any sign of what she was meant to do but only found other beds like the one she laid on and a trunk much like the one at the foot of her bed. Her eyes finally fell on the notes and she snatched them up, reading them thoroughly, her heart squeezing with every moment.
The world was.... gone? She was free? Free from her punishment?
Arturia had no idea how to feel about this. On the one hand even she could be grateful of the reprieve, but on the other hand it had been at the cost of who knows how many lives? And what if the world itself was still in tact? Would she go right back to fighting endlessly as soon as she returned? Questions. So many questions she didn't understand, but she balled up her notes and placed them in the trashcan. With barely a thought she summoned what was now her normal attire, sans the collar. Apparently the collar placed on her here superseded it. No matter. It wasn't like she was really attached to anything beyond her sword at this point.
And so Arturia headed out of her dorm, wanting to know just where she'd wound up and where to go from here.
[Floor One]
If there was one indulgence she would allow herself, it was food. Naturally when she'd read she'd have to eat some oatmeal before she could eat anything else she'd been fine with it.
There wasn't much of a spread in the cafeteria, simply eggs for breakfast, and once she was done with her oatmeal she tore into them like a hyena. It wasn't very kingly or knightly or even as lady-like as her appearance would suggest, but it was something. They were not the best made nor would it have been memorable otherwise--but it was food! Real food! And a delicious smell beyond the smell of blood and steal she never knew she'd grow tired of.
Part of her mind went back to those meals in Fuyuki, how warm the house had been, how Shirou had insisted she eat at the table with everyone else despite her and Rin's protests.
How delicious the meals had been, cooked with a care and pride not common in her time. Arturia found her appetite gone, the food tasting like ash, but not wanting to waste it, she forced herself to finish, though she no longer looks happy about it.
[Floor Twenty-Two to Floor Twenty-Four]
Wait, had she lost count of the floors? Arturia thought back for a moment. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, she could have sworn she just went past the twenty-third floor to explore, so why could she not remember it. She turned on the stairs to check again. She needed to be thorough in creating a mental map of this place and the dangers it could present.
Except she bypassed it again! What was wrong with her? Had she been controlled for so long her senses were completely dull?! With a frustrated sigh she turned again to go up the stairs--
--and again she missed the floor entirely! And again! Again again again she kept missing it. This tower would not make a fool of her! She turned yet again, this time counting the number of stairs to make sure she didn't miss the floor, a determined look on her face, and unaware of how her body was slowly becoming vaguely transparent time she passed the twenty-third floor.
[Floor Thirty-Eight]
Her body didn't ache after climbing so many stairs like a normal person would, but Arturia knew there was only so much time in the day. The elevator would be a few flights up and then she could see about returning to her dorm to become further acquainted with her roommates. But for now this room seemed as good enough place as any to rest and gather her thoughts.
The elation of being able to move freely, to speak freely, to make her own choices was starting to lose its novelty. Arturia sank into a bean bag chair, for once in her now-long life not caring how dignified she looked in doing so. If the world had, indeed, ended and she had, somehow, been saved, it left one question on her mind that she couldn't hold back any longer. For so long everything had been clear before her, her path marked with a vivid certainty she could not take her eyes from.
Only now it was gone. Gone not just in the world itself being gone, but her Kingdom, her friends, every last person had been lost to her by coming here; destroyed by her own hand. For so long she had believed there was no escaping her fate, her punishment, and now here she was, completely and utterly alone and lost.
"What do I do now?" she asked aloud both for the novelty and because some part of her mind was beginning to settle into a sort of malaise of "who cares"?
Setting: Dorms, Floor One, Floor Twenty-
Format: Prose
Summary: Arturia wakes up in the tower after what must be countless centuries of forced combat.... and has no idea what to do with herself!
Warnings: DEATH! WOOHOO! In the first post, too! \o/
[Room 03-17]
It was with a jolt and a gasp that she finally sat up, hand going to her neck only to find the collar there but all the same she could move. She could move. She could breathe.
"W-what?"
She could speak.
What was this place? Yet another battlefield in which she'd be made to slaughter guilty and innocent alike endlessly, an angel of death garbed in blood-stained white for all to see? It made no sense to her. None whatsoever. She glanced around the room for any sign of what she was meant to do but only found other beds like the one she laid on and a trunk much like the one at the foot of her bed. Her eyes finally fell on the notes and she snatched them up, reading them thoroughly, her heart squeezing with every moment.
The world was.... gone? She was free? Free from her punishment?
Arturia had no idea how to feel about this. On the one hand even she could be grateful of the reprieve, but on the other hand it had been at the cost of who knows how many lives? And what if the world itself was still in tact? Would she go right back to fighting endlessly as soon as she returned? Questions. So many questions she didn't understand, but she balled up her notes and placed them in the trashcan. With barely a thought she summoned what was now her normal attire, sans the collar. Apparently the collar placed on her here superseded it. No matter. It wasn't like she was really attached to anything beyond her sword at this point.
And so Arturia headed out of her dorm, wanting to know just where she'd wound up and where to go from here.
[Floor One]
If there was one indulgence she would allow herself, it was food. Naturally when she'd read she'd have to eat some oatmeal before she could eat anything else she'd been fine with it.
There wasn't much of a spread in the cafeteria, simply eggs for breakfast, and once she was done with her oatmeal she tore into them like a hyena. It wasn't very kingly or knightly or even as lady-like as her appearance would suggest, but it was something. They were not the best made nor would it have been memorable otherwise--but it was food! Real food! And a delicious smell beyond the smell of blood and steal she never knew she'd grow tired of.
Part of her mind went back to those meals in Fuyuki, how warm the house had been, how Shirou had insisted she eat at the table with everyone else despite her and Rin's protests.
How delicious the meals had been, cooked with a care and pride not common in her time. Arturia found her appetite gone, the food tasting like ash, but not wanting to waste it, she forced herself to finish, though she no longer looks happy about it.
[Floor Twenty-Two to Floor Twenty-Four]
Wait, had she lost count of the floors? Arturia thought back for a moment. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, she could have sworn she just went past the twenty-third floor to explore, so why could she not remember it. She turned on the stairs to check again. She needed to be thorough in creating a mental map of this place and the dangers it could present.
Except she bypassed it again! What was wrong with her? Had she been controlled for so long her senses were completely dull?! With a frustrated sigh she turned again to go up the stairs--
--and again she missed the floor entirely! And again! Again again again she kept missing it. This tower would not make a fool of her! She turned yet again, this time counting the number of stairs to make sure she didn't miss the floor, a determined look on her face, and unaware of how her body was slowly becoming vaguely transparent time she passed the twenty-third floor.
[Floor Thirty-Eight]
Her body didn't ache after climbing so many stairs like a normal person would, but Arturia knew there was only so much time in the day. The elevator would be a few flights up and then she could see about returning to her dorm to become further acquainted with her roommates. But for now this room seemed as good enough place as any to rest and gather her thoughts.
The elation of being able to move freely, to speak freely, to make her own choices was starting to lose its novelty. Arturia sank into a bean bag chair, for once in her now-long life not caring how dignified she looked in doing so. If the world had, indeed, ended and she had, somehow, been saved, it left one question on her mind that she couldn't hold back any longer. For so long everything had been clear before her, her path marked with a vivid certainty she could not take her eyes from.
Only now it was gone. Gone not just in the world itself being gone, but her Kingdom, her friends, every last person had been lost to her by coming here; destroyed by her own hand. For so long she had believed there was no escaping her fate, her punishment, and now here she was, completely and utterly alone and lost.
"What do I do now?" she asked aloud both for the novelty and because some part of her mind was beginning to settle into a sort of malaise of "who cares"?
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Avalon rejected her? Avalon was here? Some part of her wondered if that meant Shirou was here as well, but no. No. As much as she hated herself for it she knew he would be the last person she would want to see--any version of him from any universe. Arturia had no idea how she would handle it.
She summoned Caliburn once more and held it out. She studied it for a moment. True, it was a king's sword, but it was the sign of one chosen to be king and this other self looked just as uncertain as she herself did about.... well.... everything.
"Here. You have as much right to it as I do," she said, holding it out and, this time, praying to any deity that would listen to those as damned as they that her mirror image would not be rejected by it.
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Saber's head snapped up and her eyes flared with... was it fear? It was hard to tell, but the emotion in that one word couldn't be ignore. Nor the way Saber quickly removed herself off the bed and away from that sword.
The knight stood facing the door. She actually thought about walking out of it for a moment, but stood still. Then she summoned Excalibur and drove the point of it into the floor. The blade was so black it seemed to suck in the light and the red markings glowed and even appeared to pulse if it was watched long enough. Saber crossed her arms, hands gripping her own arms tight enough that her knuckles went white.
"Do you want Caliburn to become like Excalibur? Or shatter upon my touch?"
She still didn't know if she could hold the king's sword... and she was afraid to try.
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"I do not wish it to become corrupted nor to shatter. However, I honestly believe it will accept you, at the very least allow you to hold it since I'm giving it to you of my own free will."
She held it out to her, more insistent now.
"If you are indeed Arturia Pendragon, King of Knights, then what are you afraid of?" Arturia felt a twinge of guilt for it, but if Saber was having just as much trouble controlling her emotions as she, then she wouldn't back down from a challenge like this.
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"Let me tell you what I am afraid of," she snapped. "I am afraid of what I will do if it does accept me. I want to hold it again, yes. I want my sword in hand. I want my birthright in hand again. It has been too long since I have held Caliburn."
Her hand lowered enough that Excalibur's blade touched the floor again. "But I also want to destroy it. I want to snap that gilded blade that names me King of Britain. And I do not know what I will do if it is in my hands again."
Saber reached out for it and stopped herself again, just like she had before. She then lowered her had, balled into a fist, down to her side, as she stared at Caliburn with a longing. "Tell me... Have you ever looked at someon-- something so pure, so perfect, that you knew your touch would just sully it? That while it did not seem to care because you were still you, that you knew you were no longer worthy to hold that pure thing again..."
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Someone so pure and perfect and she knew her touch would sully it? Shirou was not pure, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he was so driven, so determined, and so sure of what was right that it hurt every time she'd had to drive reality into him. To think someone could possibly have cared about her in the way he believed he did....
And she hadn't even stopped to consider an alternative when she'd been offered the Grail
"Yes. I do," she said quietly, letting her hand drop to her side and dismissing Caliburn, "I know very well what that's like."
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Saber walked back over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Can we agree on that?"
no subject
Shirou had held Avalon and Arturia witnessed Shirou's memories in his sleep. It had been easy to put the pieces together in her mind of one of the many reasons why Kiritsugu had wanted Irisviel to act as her master. Homunculus or not, Irisviel had been his beloved wife and he had wanted desperately for her to remain herself as long as possible. It only made sense to give the woman Avalon so she might retain her identity for longer if it was possible.
"Do you have any other business you wish to discuss with me?"
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"Yes, one thing. And this is only because I feel the need to voice something I know I should not need to," Saber replied. "You will treat her well. You will give your life to protect her if you must. If she requests it, you will be her knight again." Saber locked the emotion from her eyes then. "Despite your poor decision, you are still untainted. She should be with you - not me."
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Oh.
So Irisviel really was in the Tower then. Arturia made a mental note to seek the woman out and see how she was. Saber had been right when it came to the fact her order would not need voicing. If Irisviel was here, as afraid as she was of temptation, Arturia would never be anything but her loyal knight.
And yet....
"I apologize, but you know Irisviel as well as I do, if not moreso. She will not take kindly to you insisting she choose one of us. Tainted or not, she will still call us both her knights once she's made aware of my presence and I...."
Here, her voice faltered.
"I propose instead we keep the other in check when it comes to her. I do not have the strength I used to and it has been a long time since I have been able to battle under my own will. I do not yet trust my skills to keep her safe--" Or what she would do if she were tempted as she had been before--"and you clearly do not trust your emotions around her. Therefore, we will work to cover one another's weaknesses."
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She looked away then, the muscle along her jaw twitching a bit. "I have become used to not being allowed to have that which I want."
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She then got to her feet. "I will not discuss the matter of her anymore today. She is like Caliburn and I have already overstepped my bounds with her."
Saber made for the door and paused to say one more thing. "...I called her Guinevere once."
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She watched her darker counterpart get up and walk to the door. Then she spoke and suddenly Arturia understood just what had lurked underneath.
Arturia desperately hoped Saber, tainted as she was, would be aware of herself enough not to succumb to the temptation Arturia herself had.
"I see.... she does have Gwen's sharp wit. I know she'll be safe in your hands."
no subject
Saber closed her eyes and shook her head. "She deserves better than I. We will talk again." A pause. "And watch out for the succubus," she said just before taking her leave.