[OPEN] I guess that I don't need that though

[chronomancer]

Characters: [AU1] Eridan Ampora and OPEN!
Setting: Workshop.
Format: Starting with Action, but I'll match you.
Summary: Nearly fifty years later and Eridan still sucks at this sewing thing.
Warnings: Heavy handed sexual innuendo, attempts to make your characters uncomfortable, lewd bad jokes, Eridan being as trigger-happy with that gun as ever. Also Eridan being the troll-equivalent of a vampire, so expect him to glow if startled and shamelessly ask if he can bite your characters.

[There's a jadeblood sitting on a workbench, struggling with thread, needle and a really long, red coat. He's grumbling at it, squinting between each stitch and occasionally growling ferally at it. Sunglasses stuck on his hair, which is still black and green, Eridan seems to be slightly absorbed with his task. The short sleeve tshirt he's wearing is not very well suited for the cold, at least not without his coat, but he doesn't seem to mind. He's no longer wearing his sign on it, as it's just plain black with a small detail in yellow lines near the hem. His sign is now on his pants, black as well, stitched in jade along the lower part of his right leg. Shame the whole thing is dirty and slightly stained by blood and things you probably don't want to know the origin of. Rifle is, as always, resting by his side, an easy snatch away.]

Every fuckin' time, I swear...

[He shakes the whole thing in frustration, as he's once again, stabbed the underside of a claw with that needle. You'd think he'd be better at this, given how long he's been here. But nope. Some things just never change.]

Comments

[chronomancer]

I was thinking of something no less cold but slightly livelier.

[He smiles with all his teeth.]

But it's okay, Kar, nobody judges you for monopolizing dramatic crying in the ablution trap. Even though with all that jerking off you do, you're gonna clog the piping one day.

[caliginous]

Ah, so you've been reduced to daydreaming of what I do during my alone time. After all, its so rare, I guess you can't help but wonder.

[His head tilts in that annoyingly innocent way.]

You really should find a better use of your time.

[chronomancer]

I've got all the time in the world, darling.

[Something changes in his eyes, something in the way he looks at Karkat turns predatory, but not in a sexual way.]

One of these days, Vantas, I'm going to suck you dry. It'll be a very liberating experience for all parties involved, I'm sure.

[caliginous]

[Karkat tuts him softly.]

Not in this reality, buddy.

[chronomancer]

[Grinning with too many teeth again.]

Whatever lets you sleep at night, Karkat~

[caliginous]

Does the thought of "sucking me dry" get you to sleep at night, Eridan?

[chronomancer]

What, would you rather it kept me up?

[caliginous]

It all meets the same end either way, so frankly, I don't give a shit.

[His posture relaxes, cocking a hip to one side without putting extra distance between them. He doesn't seem to care if it puts him at yet another height disadvantage.]

[chronomancer]

Don't you mean you don't give a fuck?

[caliginous]

That was obvious.

[chronomancer]

Oh, let me have my puns, if nothing else.

[Oh what was that? An expression that almost wasn't a leer? Can't have that, here, have more leering.]

[caliginous]

Now you do puns too? What, is this some new coping method?

[Do you see that eyeroll?]

[chronomancer]

Oh, come the fuck on, Karkat. Time puns have always been my thing. And okay, bulge puns. You're so late to this party not even a timelord could save you, baby.

[caliginous]

[All the smug pretense swaps itself for vague disgust and confusion.]

Did you just fucking call me "baby"? Are you kidding me right now?

[chronomancer]

[Gotcha. Eridan's smile is smug triumph.]

Is something the matter now?

[caliginous]

[Karkat's nose wrinkles.]

You have to have better material than that. Or am I giving you too much credit?

[chronomancer]

I'm a reasonable, measured troll. I don't use a nuke to kill a cockroach.

[caliginous]

That might have been a good comeback, if you had actually gotten anything out of it.

[chronomancer]

I'm not the one that needs "a vested interest" in everything.

[caliginous]

You'd probably be more interesting if you did.

[chronomancer]

Some of us got better shit to do than try and mastermind everything around us, darling. It's called having a life, you might invest some time researching that.

[caliginous]

[Karkat bites back a reply to that, the corner of his jaw twitching slightly. Looks like Eridan found the sore spot. But instead of letting it shine through, Karkat instead just offers that fake little smile.]

My time slots are all spoken for.

[chronomancer]

Not the slots I'm interested in, last I heard.

[caliginous]

Then why are you trying to organize what I do with my time?

[chronomancer]

Because I'm bored and I'm a meddler. Fucked up disasters like you are irresistible to well-intentioned assholes like me, hon.