[CLOSED/OPEN] No words can heal a broken heart

[chronomancer]

Characters: [AU1] Eridan Ampora & [AU1] Equius Zahhak; Eridan Ampora and YOU.
Setting: Meadow floor (closed/backdated to the January event), Floor 64 (open/current)
Format: Starting with action but I'll match you.
Summary: Two logs for the price of one, lmao so I don't flood the comm: closing up aged up shenanigans, Equius is displeased and Eridan is about to learn just how much. Also back in real time, Eridan finds a deliciously tempting slice of home.
Warnings: Violence and swearing for the Equius log. Eridan being actually honest and pathetic and stupid, for the open one.

[Closed: Meadow floor.]

[He wasn't tired so much as he was trying to hibernate. He wasn't entirely sure trolls, undead or otherwise, actually did the whole hibernation shtick, but he could at least try. Save up his energy. Make his last feeding last. He was pretty sure things didn't really work that way but he was lazy and this was a good enough excuse. So there he is, as long as he is, lying on his back and sunbathing in the meadow without a care in the world.

Not that he didn't have cares. He had a lot of them, actually. But if he started thinking about all of them he'd probably implode. Or go on a rampage. Or both. Really, it was for the best of everyone involved, if he just laid there, soaking up sunlight and carefully thinking of nothing in particular.]

[Open: Desert floor.]

[It's so familiar it hurts, really. The heat, the sand, the occasional blast of wind. It's probably a bad idea to head out, and given the last few terrible ideas he's indulged lately, mostly as a result of the experiment last month, Eridan resists the urge to go.

But he wants to, dear god, he wants to so bad.

He's curled up on the sandy floor, barely two steps off the staircase, staring aimlessly at the distance and quietly drowning in nostalgia. He's never really stopped to sit down and miss life before the Game... but now he does and the wave of homesickness is almost entirely too much to handle.]

Comments

[chronomancer]

Well, I am, but I'm magnanimous enough to wait for you.

[An eyebrow goes up.]

Well, at least until it rains.

[ghostytrainer]

Goodness, that is incredibly magnanimous!

[He figures now is as good a time as any to take a seat next to the troll. Mostly because he hadn't been chased away by now. That's basically an invitation, right?]

Anyway. What's up? Other than the temperature, obviously.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan manages a soft chuckle for John's benefit, before he shrugs, absently fingering the sand under his hands.]

Nothing much. Future me is a jerkface, I owe apologies to all my friends, my life is a constant spiral of regret and poor choices.

[Look at this flawless deadpan. It's amazing. Eridan snorts.]

Must be Tuesday.

[ghostytrainer]

But it's Saturday. [He can't help but chuckle a little bit. Yes, he knows what Eridan meant but he could resist.] So it can't really be that bad yet now can it?

Nah, but for real, you're talking about the time warp we got stuck in last month?

I regret nothing. NOTHING, I tell you.

[chronomancer]

[John's 'Saturday' quip gets Eridan to snort. He gives him a sideway smirk.]

Let's recap, shall we? According to Tower fuckery, I will somehow become a glowing, bloodsucking, undead abomination that can't shut the fuck up about anything and needs to have his face ground into the ground by his matesprit just so he'll stop being a dick.

[There's a small pause.]

Though on the upside, I'll still have a matesprit and a luvdisc so I probably shouldn't complain too hard.

as you very well shouldn't. omg.

[ghostytrainer]

Well, you know that might not be the case. According to Dave, there wasn't quite right about that whole thing. He said that in the forty years he'd been here, he and I never had the particular conversation we had on that day. [A beat.] Yeah that was worded atrociously but you get what I mean, right? Basically we were being fucked with.

If you don't want that particular future to become a reality, you have the power to change it yourself now.

[Shrug!]

Though uh...why would you want a Luvdisc? They're kind of a sucky Pokemon, dude. For that matter...how did Luvdiscs even get here in the first place?

THE PERILS OF DATING A STRIDER, the tag.

[chronomancer]

Oh, I know we were being fucked with. Time being my thing as much as it's Strider's. All Striders. But I still owe apologies to nearly everyone I know, so.

[Eridan shakes his head, then shrugs about changing it. Not knowing he will be telling his matesprit the exact same thing in the not too distant future. Then he blushes slightly.]

...oh my god, I can't believe I said that---

Wait.

Luvdisc is actually a thing?

yuuuup.

[ghostytrainer]

Oh, is it...aha, my bad. I didn't realize you were a time player. The Eridan in my universe was...uhh. You know, I am not actually sure what he was but it wasn't time.

Anyway, yeah. A Luvdisc is a species of pokemon. It's this little pink heart-shaped fish. Here, hold on a sec. [He pulls out a red cell-phone like device out of his fanny pack, flicking it open and tapping the screen.] Hehe, you know I never thought I'd be using the Pokedex function again but, here, this is a Luvdisc.

[He holds the device up in front of Eridan, the screen now displaying a picture of the fish as well as a few basic stats, as well as the following blurb:]

Luvdisc's heart-shaped body is a symbol of love and romance. It is said that any couple meeting this Pokémon is promised a loving relationship that never ends.

What did you think it was?

Re: yuuuup.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan linefaces at John's explanation, not so much because his explanation is lineface-y but because he can't believe he's been so consistently played by Jade. He loves her dearly, but seriously.

Excuse Eridan while he buries his face in his hands.

And then.]

Striiiiiiiiiiiiiideeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

[Okay, okay, that felt good, now pulling his face off his hands so he can stare at the ceiling and let out a long sigh. He shook his head and gave John a wry smirk.]

My moirail consistently refuses to use the word moirail, and instead uses luvdisc, which I never really gave much thought to because no offense humans are weird about naming shit, and I really shouldn't be surprised because Striders gonna Strider, but now I have to wonder if the heart-shaped bit is in any way significant at all and... Oh god.

[The last thing he needs is another palemate flipping red on him.]

not here

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[And somewhere in the vast Tower interior, Jade's ears are burning.]

[ghostytrainer]

[Ah...now there's an outburst that John both knows and understands. Striders. Just...Striders.]

Pfftt... hehe. That they certainly do. They Strider and Strider and just keep on Stridering until you wonder why you even put up with them anymore. But by then it's too late. [He flips the gear closed and slips it back into his pack.] Anyway, which Strider: Dave or Jade?

[chronomancer]

I know, and you kinda want to strangle them a little, but then they'll do or say something so Strider that you can't even handle it.

[Eridan runs a hand through his hair.]

...Jade.

[ghostytrainer]

Finally, somebody else who really and truly gets it!

[He grins a little.]

Somehow, that was my guess. Well, I don't know her well enough to know if there's any significance to the heart-shape but if I had to guess, I'd say she's just messing with you. It's the sort of thing I could see Dave doing. Besides, even if it was a false future, she was still loyally pale to you after all that time, right?

[chronomancer]

[Eridan chuckles at that, because yeah, okay, it's nice someone gets it. It's hard, handling Striders, it's hard and no one understands! Though he quiets down slowly.]

...yeah, there's that. I'm not... you know, the best moirail around, but I'd go crazy without her.

[Literally. Though he's not gonna say that.]

Still not entirely sure how I feel about having our quadrant equated with a fish, though.

[Face in hands.]

Like, how does that even happen?

[ghostytrainer]

Mmm...well that's exactly why she's there isn't she?

[Surprisingly enough, doofus here understands exactly how important moirallegiance is. A year with Vriska has taught him a few things.]

Hehe, who knows. Again: she's probably Stridering with you and figured you would never find out exactly what a Luvdisc is. So she could share a secret laugh with herself whenever you brought it up. Likely it's more of that twisted sense of Strider irony.

[chronomancer]

...can we take a moment to appreciate the fact Strider is now officially noun, verb, adjective and possibly adverb? I thought only fuck worked that way.

[ghostytrainer]

Certainly. And at the same time, I am going to take a moment to admire the fact that the conversation still makes complete and total sense.

[He can't help but laugh a little because seriously. There are only so many people you could have a conversation with like this about Striders that would completely understand it.]

[chronomancer]

I call that the Strider effect.

[Eridan makes an effort to joke around, affecting himself with a snotty, smarmy voice.]

It's a well documented phenomenon.

[ghostytrainer]

Oho, so it's a universal constant then? I'll have to go and collect my notes later so that we can compare them at a later date.

[Snooty scientists.]

And my clipboard because comparing notes without one of those is a damn travesty.

[chronomancer]

Oh, but of course.

[Snotty, smarmy voice is too much for him, so he goes back to deadpan. You simply cannot outdo Eridan Ampora when it comes to deadpanning. He's simply the best there is.]

Perish the thought of making you revise your data on Striders without the proper equipment. It would be a fucking scandal, is what it'd be.

[ghostytrainer]

Damn straight.

[John isn't particularly good a maintaining either of those things for too long, so he's back to his default of grinning in no time. Though, he falls silent for a little while, leaning back a little on his hands and staring out at the stretch of sand before them.]

So why the desert?

[chronomancer]

[As the joke ends, Eridan shrugs, expression softening a little.]

I used to live in one, back home. You know, before the game and stuff. 's nice.

[There's a significant pause.]

...well okay, no. It was a scorching death trap crawling with zombies. But. You know. It was home.

[ghostytrainer]

...desert zombies? Seriously?

[Nobody ever told him that Alternia had desert zombies. Probably because he never really talked to Kanaya...mostly because she wasn't actually in Johto for very long.]

[chronomancer]

Mhm.

[Eridan gave John a conspiratory look.]

Worst. Neighbors. Ever. Let me tell you.

[ghostytrainer]

I can only imagine. And here I thought I had it bad with non-existent neighbors.

[A chuckle.]

Tell me you at least killed a few of them.