Only a shadow of what it seems (backdated to the 6th)

[warriorscribe]

Characters: Enoch and anyone
Setting: Floor 48, backdated to the 6th
Format: Doesn't matter!
Summary: Enoch has a new job! While he wouldn't necessarily mind being given something productive to do, this doesn't exactly count as productive considering they aren't real graves...
Warnings: Grieving I guess? Mention of a child's death.

He cut an eerie figure, himself, dirty brown cloak wrapped around him with the hood pulled all the way up. Only the duster in his hand marked him as working here, and only the gleam of white armor occasionally visible as he walked hinted at his identity, with his head constantly bowed. There were few flowers that survived the snowfall, so the watering can hadn't been necessary.

Enoch didn't like this floor. Each and every grave marker represented someone completely isolated from other people, all alone with nothing but the ruins of their world to call home. Perhaps some could starve to death; that one young man had said he foraged for food. Perhaps they would find release. But to die that way...

Oh, he didn't want to be here. He was actually somewhat glad the tower had doubled in size, taking it away from the dorms. But he'd received a letter in the morning telling him he was now in charge of maintaining it. And as much as it may hurt him, he knew disobeying would probably bring consequences.

Even though it wasn't the same at all. Even though it wasn't maintaining a peaceful rest. Even though reading names he remembered and seeing flashes of distraught faces in his mind's eye was worse than any instance of realizing they're dead now ever was on Earth...

...okay maybe he didn't want to do this. He fell to his knees at the grave that read Ryotaro Dojima - his first roommate here, someone who, like him, dearly wished for the presence of a loved one. Did he grieve over his daughter's little corpse even while she was right here in the tower he had just left? His eyes stung with tears - he'd only been gone a week. He hadn't seen Dojima in months. Was the man even sane anymore?

Wrapping his arms tight across his stomach, he forced himself to his feet and moved on, cleaning the newest rows of graves and again collapsing at the pain of considering each person here, trapped and all alone... Even if he didn't know who they were.

But he had finished the first day of his job, so he could afford to sit here on his knees and quietly weep, shaking with the pain of reopened wounds.

Comments

[brbtalkingtogod]

Was it? That really is a long way you have to go if there aren't any vehicles you can use.

[Lucifel shrugs it off and follows him into the elevator, leaning against one of the walls on their way up.]

I have seen better places.

[He would never admit it aloud but Armaros' floor wasn't that bad compared to the rest.]

[warriorscribe]

Of course... I'm certain no artificial world could compare to God's creation.

*Enoch seemed calmer now as the elevator reached its destination, and Enoch led him down to the third dormitory floor, to 3-18. He opened his trunk and undid the bundle of gauze holding the four notebooks together and removed the top two, sitting on his bed and patting the space beside him, inviting Lucifel over to read them.

The painful contents of those journals, he could deal with in a moment. For now, it was best for that talk to have worked what it did, only the fatigue in Enoch's eyes sign of his prior distress.*

[brbtalkingtogod]

Certainly not.

[The slightly taller man followed him with crossed arms and in his room, silently taking a seat next to the blond.]

Very well, may I have them.

[warriorscribe]

*Enoch handed Lucifel the first one, setting the second on his lap when he'd taken it.

He'd watch Lucifel's reaction. The first book didn't actually get into what became of Armaros's relationship with him, so Enoch wasn't particularly worried about it. The second one, however...*

[brbtalkingtogod]

[The first book left the expression on his face unchanged. The place he has been at seemed quite interesting. There wasn't much he could hold up against him befriending Armaros, especially since he hasn't been there. So he thought.

He reached for the second journal once he had finished reading the first.]

[warriorscribe]

*Enoch took the first book when he picked up the second, holding it a little tighter than normal. The volumes had, by coincidence, split right before the moment Armaros had confessed his feelings for Enoch. It meant that would be the first entry Lucifel read in this book.

It would be painful, after his ordeal, to reexamine these feelings, that peace, to defend them to Lucifel.

But he would, if he had to.*

[brbtalkingtogod]

...

[Well. If the scribe's stay in Meridian had been a novel then this must have been one great turning point in it.

This was an unexpected turn of events. And in all honesty, Lucifel wasn't sure how to react in such a situation. That wasn't supposed to happen. The archangel knew they had been close back in heaven, but them falling in love with each other? He couldn't have predicted that.

He takes a deep breath then and pinches the bridge of his nose. Okay, he has to stay calm. He's far from happy, rather close to getting mad. The situation Enoch had been in was something no one could have predicted. However, that didn't make it any better.

This is Enoch before he got rid of his doubts, of course any influence in a situation like this would affect him.]

... What am I supposed to do with you Enoch...

[warriorscribe]

Please, keep reading, Lucifel. It isn't the betrayal it must seem.

*Indeed, the entry immediately after that, Day 41, shows Enoch was not only willing to continue his mission despite his feelings for Armaros, but that Armaros even encouraged him to do so! And it has some praise for Lucifel as well if he doesn't skim it all in irritation.*

[brbtalkingtogod]

...

[As true as it seemed to be that there had been encouragement from Armaros, it didn't change the facts at hand. He knew better than to just judge over him and continued reading, but not because the scribe had asked him to.]

[warriorscribe]

*When his expression doesn't seem to improve, Enoch unconsciously shrinks back on the bed a little, towards the wall.

He hopes Lucifel will see it was not only harmless, but helpful...*

[brbtalkingtogod]

[It takes a while, but eventually Lucifel has finished reading the second journal. It still doesn't sit well with him.

Friendship would have been one thing, that could have been dealt with in some way. But something going deeper than this... sure, this Enoch was from a different timeline but in the end it fell all back on him.

Lucifel only looked at the scribe, waiting for him to speak.]

[warriorscribe]

What else is there left to address...? I wouldn't betray the mission, and even Armaros himself told me not to for his sake. He truly regrets the fall, and his participation. He's suffered for it.

*So why was Lucifel still looking at him like he had something left to explain?*

...What else is there? What else do you need me to tell you?

[brbtalkingtogod]

That might be the case, but if we leave all these details aside, it's a relationship between a human and a fallen angel.

[And that's probably the point where God will ask Lucifel how and why this happened. That the one who got favored by God, who became Heaven's scribe and was sent out to seal away the Grigori, ends up in a relationship with one.

As well as the question, which would more than likely come from God: "where have you been when that happened, Lucifel?"

Yes, he is considering that Enoch might not be able to remember it should they be able to return home and that maybe neither will he. If that should NOT be the case... then he has to expect the worst.]

Even if you don't betray the mission or Him and are devoted to Him with all you have, that fact still remains.

[warriorscribe]

And so? What does that fact do, if it changes nothing?

*Enoch sighs.* I love him. That will not change.

[brbtalkingtogod]

It's there but it shouldn't be.

[His expression doesn't change.]

Do you think He would just be okay with that?

1/2

[warriorscribe]

*For a moment, there's a flash of unmistakable fear in his eyes; doubt.*

That's-... no...

done

[warriorscribe]

*But then it's gone.*

Laws and rules exist for reasons. You cannot steal because it denies a man his rightful property and creates an air of distrust. You cannot kill because life is sacred.

But sometimes someone steals out of desperation and takes something they or their loved ones need to survive.

Tell me, Lucifel, what is the intent of calling this wrong? Hasn't everything I've said avoided what makes this 'wrong'?

[brbtalkingtogod]

Of course, in that case its an extraordinary situation, in which it's okay to act like that if-!

...

[Wait a moment, Lucifel needs a second or two to think.

... Did he just... contradict himself?]

[warriorscribe]

*Enoch smiles as Lucifel cuts himself off. Not, of course, the smug sort of smile Lucifel himself might have had the situation been reversed, but a genuinely kind smile.

He reaches out to gently take the journal from his hand, freeing one hand immediately to take the one that had just been holding the book.*

So you see... Everything will be fine, once Dax finds a way to restore our worlds.

[brbtalkingtogod]

[He hated to admit it but he had forgotten to take this part into consideration. It had come to his mind before but that he would get so worked up over this one fact...

It got him thinking, that much is sure.]

...

[he was about to say that Enoch shouldn't trust the people who lead this place so blindly, but he wasn't in the mood to have Enoch tell him something different again.]

[warriorscribe]

*It was only Dax that Enoch trusted, and even then only after speaking to him. If his people intuition could be called "blind", then yes, it was blind trust.

Enoch gives Lucifel's hand a light squeeze before letting go.* For now...we should worry about having a world to return to, first.

[brbtalkingtogod]

[Lucifel rather wanted to be safe than sorry. So until he is proven wrong he would continue not to trust any of them.]

Right.

[warriorscribe]

*Enoch gathered both journals in his arms. He was worried he'd managed to insult Lucifel by pointing out the flaw in his logic, but it was honestly better to have said that.*

Ah...Sola is here, in the tower...

[brbtalkingtogod]

Is she?

[Lucifel isn't so much insulted but impressed. Then again, he and the other have spent over 300 years together, it shouldn't surprise him.]

[warriorscribe]

Yes...she was the only one here who knew me from before this place for months.

*And it's still kind of weird to have two of the archangels around now. He's still kind of adjusting to Lucifel being right next to him again even though it hadn't even been a year since he'd seen him.*