towerofanimus | Against the brain's better judgment...

Characters: Enoch and anyone (except for one where it's closed to Lucifel and maybe his roommates too)
Setting: Outside room 1-12(closed to Lucifel and maybe his roommates), Floor 2, various
Format: I'm starting in prose but I'll match!
Summary: Enoch has something to give his guardian, and then it's time for his collar checkup. And he'd been promised to have memories returned to him re: his little hiatus trip.
Warnings: Repressed memories are repressed for a reason. Maybe mentions of death, trauma, mention of suicide attempt

Dorm Floor 1

Enoch had returned here after a visit to the mail room, where he'd found two boxes of chocolate, one of them for Lucifel. Tohko sure did take easily to people...he supposed he should be glad for that much, the last thing he wanted was tension between his friends. He stopped outside the room with Lucifel's name on its plate and knocked on the door, hoping Lucifel had slept late too. He'd been either nearly missing or completely missing breakfast, himself, ever since going to Meridian...

...oh, that reminded him, he'd have to go to the infirmary for his collar checkup after this.

Infirmary

The drones had to push him out of the room. Enoch wandered back out into the waiting room, his arms folded tightly. He shook as he picked through the now perfectly clear memories. Of waking beside a corpse. Of wandering under a vileness-red sky, and burying Asato, burying Sissel, burying Ashraf and Michael, and his collapse thereafter, his empty plea to the second level, burying Armaros in the sea(and trying and failing to join him), and the moment it really dawned on him - he was utterly alone. Isolated.

He made his shaky way back to the stairs, nearly running into things and people on his way there. He didn't know where he was going, but he couldn't stand still.

Anywhere else

The tower was much larger now, but Enoch was making his aimless way up the stairs anyway. Not even his usual resting floors, the eleventh and twenty fifth, were stops. He kept his head down, his face tear-stained.

He had forgotten them for a reason. It was intensely painful, recalling those moments of discovering corpses that should not be, interring an immortal's corpse in the sea. They, especially Armaros, they were never meant to leave him, Meridian was supposed to be safe, he had been trying to keep it so. And that soul-rending pain of being utterly isolated, having no one, mortal or otherwise...

...But he had wanted to remember for a reason, hadn't he? He paused where he was on the stairs to the eighteenth floor and looked out at the tables as if he'd never seen them before. So what was important about it that he'd forgotten?

He continued to climb and reflect. And, naturally, not watch where he was going.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"... I think I get what you mean."

Although, it sounded hard to believe. But if Enoch was right, then that means...

Enoch's body did not move. And Lucifel... Surely that was some sort of mistake, since he's seen beings that didn't need to eat here.

"I was right about the collars. They anchor us here... But to these bodies."

"That explains at least a few things... Not only are we trapped in this place but also got caged into these bodies."

Still not everything but at least a few things that had been confusing him.

Enoch lowers his head, resting it on Lucifel's shoulder. Now that he's not forcing himself to examine those painful thoughts, now that he has his answer, the adrenaline is slowly dying down, leaving a mental exhaustion in its wake.

"Having a body isn't so terrible... I'll help you however I can."

Even more body contact? Does he have to endure this even longer...?

"I appreciate it Enoch. However, so far I can't say that having a body has been good."

Sorry, Lucifel. It's just part of the role you stepped into a couple centuries or so ago.

"It's...hunger and fatigue, isn't it? Both eating and sleeping can be enjoyable, especially after you've earned them after a long day."

And he's kind of...going to deflect his pain using other peoples' problems. You know, like he usually does.

Yeah, that's the role he decided to take even before the journey. It had started with taking Enoch to Heaven.

"It's such a hassle that I need to do all of that so to be able survive."

That sounds like him, yes. But that's the wrong way to deal with problems, especially your own.

"It's all right. You'll get used to it quickly...we do, after all."

Well, it's the way he works. Unfortunately for him.

It did make Lucifel wonder if it was the same for Enoch after he had become immortal... But it was better to save that question for another day.

"Is there..." he lifts his head, finally. "Is there anything I could possibly help with?

"No, in the end I will have to deal with it myself." He said and shrugged. He's supposed to be the support here, not the other way around.

Enoch wanted to return the favor, though - and he needed to keep his mind off his own thoughts, the ones that had been so painful but necessary, and had now outlived their necessity. Funny, how it wasn't too long ago he'd considered any sort of forgetting to be a terrible thing...

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't give you advice if you're having trouble..."

"Should there anything then I'd talk with you about it." Of course he'd talk to him should there be anything, but Enoch seemed to have more than enough burdens to carry on his shoulders.

But shouldering other peoples' burdens is how he ignores his own! See how the conversation isn't at all near the memories he's just had unlocked?

"All right. ...I want to be able to be as much help to you as you've been to me..."

He sees, but pilling them up and looking them away inside himself isn't very healthy either. Not that the scribe ends up having a complete breakdown one day.

"Don't worry about me Enoch."

Oh, he very likely will, in fact it will probably be a more complete breakdown than usual. But that's still probably years ahead, maybe decades. Enoch is resilient and no matter how often he seems too close to the edge, he always seems to be able to spring back from it, especially if Lucifel is there.

"And why shouldn't I?"

"What good will it do for you? Worrying about me that is?"

"Worrying about other people usually isn't for one's own good." Enoch gave him a little smile. It was...kind of endearing, the way Lucifel missed the point here.

Enoch kind of seemed to missed the archangels point as well, but he wouldn't mention it. "I am aware of that."

"So it doesn't matter if it does me any good. I care about you, and hope to do some good for you."

"... I see. Because I'm your friend?"

Enoch nodded. Lucifel should probably let them off at a floor near one of the more attractive floors, before it occurred to Enoch they had been riding the elevator back and forth this whole time.

He should do that shouldn't he? But that riding back and forth had given them some time, even though they have been occupying the elevator for quite some time.

Enoch sighed and looked up at him, eyes reddened from crying, smiling weakly. He wanted to say he'd offer what he could to help him, but he still presented a rather pathetic picture at the moment.

Lucifel lead Enoch out of the elevator, a hand placed on his back as he did. "Everything will be fine."

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warriorscribe - 2013-04-02 01:48 (UTC) - Expand