10

[looselips]

Characters: Shinji Matou & OPEN
Setting: Various floors, dangerous and otherwise, then Room 2-06.
Format: Action preferred, though I'll try to match.
Summary: Rider is gone, and Shinji isn't taking it well.
Warnings: Descriptions of a child's death-by-drowning in Part 2.
Notes: Part 2 takes place the day following Part 1, and is open to both passersby and roommates alike. If tag you into Part 1 without specifying a floor, I'll pick one myself; the only one that is really off limits is Floor 90, for reasons.

part 1 - various floors
[Shinji knows when Rider is gone, of course. He just doesn't accept it. He isn't the most rational, measured person at the best of times, and his circumstances now are obviously not optimal. So, rather than trying to quietly come to terms with her departure, he goes to look for her. He'll find wherever she has run off to sooner or later, he thinks, as though she's still somewhere in the Tower where he can yap at her until she pays attention to him.]

Rider! [He waits briefly, standing in the dormitory hallway. When there's no reply, he calls out again, louder and more agitated now.] Rider!

[And he keeps shouting for her as he stomps around the Tower, his voice growing increasingly demanding as he becomes increasingly desperate. He can be heard calling for her in all sorts of places, since while he starts with floors he is more familiar with and ones that are relatively safe, he soon begins to venture places an unattended eight-year-old really should not be. Mostly, he sticks to floors he thinks or knows would attract Rider—ones with water, or treasure, or that inexplicably smoky barroom—paying no heed to the way he is tiring himself out with all this searching.]

part 2 - room 2-06
[As it turns out, ten minutes is the perfect amount of time for reliving the way you died.]

[The lagoon had been a natural place to check. No one can blame him for going there. It isn't his fault, anyway—the blame lies on Rider, for leaving him in the first place, and those things lurking in the water, those things that had grabbed him before he even had a chance to scream. He can remember the feeling of their strong, wet hands wrapped tight around his wrists and ankles, and the way it felt to thrash as he tried to struggle free of them. But, more than that, he can remember the way it felt when he couldn't free himself. The panicked fear of death, the way water poured into his mouth and down his throat when his lungs desperately tried to suck down air...]

[His legs tremble when he is finally able to move again, but he makes himself stand regardless.]

[He can't take it anymore. As if losing to that pathetic no-name weakling wasn't enough, as if dying wasn't enough, as if being brought to this place only to have everything that made him special taken away from him wasn't enough, now he has been killed, again, by mermaids.]

[He doesn't even care that he's throwing what is undeniably a childish tantrum when he shoves his trunk over. He doesn't care that doing this might break something inside. What did it matter? He died, and now on top of being dead he's alone here, all because his stupid, selfish Servant went and abandoned him. He picks up an upturned item at random, paying no attention to what it is, and throws it at the nearest wall.]

[Unless stopped, he'll be at this until he calms down or tires himself out, and tiring himself out is probably the option that will come first.]

Comments

[looselips]

Yeah, real touching—like a couple of fingers to the back of the throat.

[Shinji doesn't understand Kariya's motivations at all. So, he dismisses them entirely. Obviously, if he doesn't think they're valid and worthwhile, they aren't.]

What garbage. You're going to make me sick if you keep it up.

[vermicompost]

[Sigh. The lack of understanding is mutual. Why is Shinji this way? What would make a child so harsh? It's sad, when he thinks about it.]

I couldn't let someone I cared about continue to suffer without doing anything about it. That's all.

Why did you enter the War?

[looselips]

...Oh, that?

[He tries to sound casual when he speaks, but he's never been very good at playing it cool, no matter what he might think himself. It's even harder to shrug the question off when he's been reminded of his own death as he has. He looks away as he shrugs.]

I just wanted the title. That's all.

[vermicompost]

That was your wish? You just wanted to win for winning's sake?

[It's odd to him, when the war is so dangerous in his world, when the stakes are so high. To enter for no real reason... But Shinji does sound less than casual, to Kariya's mind.]

Is it really just a game, then, in your world? Or is it something more?

[looselips]

Of course that's why I wanted to win! [He snaps his reply, his voice heated and maybe even a little defensive.] You realize the kind of recognition you'd get for that, right? There's no way I would pass up the chance to show the world how much better I am than the rest of those mouth-breathing cretins!

It's—

[His voice falters for a second, but then he swallows and presses on—except that his cheeks pale and his voice shakes. He's a terrible liar, even—especially—when it comes to something like this.]

Of course it's just a game! Saying you get a wish if you win and die if you lose— I don't know what kind of moron would believe that load of crap.

[vermicompost]

Right. Because there's only one winner, out of so many. But you're so talented, you shouldn't have to prove yourself to anyone...

[Kariya isn't being condescending. Shinji's obviously very intelligent (if abrasive), as well as talented, if he was able to qualify a contest like that. But then, why is he suddenly upset?

Oh.

Oh no.

Die if you lose. He can hear the tremor in Shinji's voice, and suddenly it all seems clear, though he doesn't know what to do, what the right thing to say is. His voice, when he speaks, is gentle.]

But it wasn't a lie. It was true.

[How could they--or whoever or whatever was responsible--create something so horrible and allow children to play?]

[looselips]

R— Right, naturally! [Though he isn't used to people telling him things like that, and his face colors a little. He isn't sure how else to handle the situation, so he just barrels on like receiving that kind of validation isn't the entire reason he got involved in the Grail War to begin with.] But no one else sees it, so I thought if they had that kind of evidence right in front of their faces, they'd finally have to acknowledge it.

[When Kariya correctly guesses the truth of the matter, Shinji freezes up. His eyes widen, and for a second he only stares at Kariya without speaking.]

That—

[He wants to argue and tell him that isn't true, but it is. Even if he woke up here, he can still remember the way dying felt. He had to watch his digital body disappear bit by bit, knowing that when it was over, he wouldn't wake up in real life again. It was horrifying, and the memory steals his voice again now.]

[He doesn't realize his mouth has started to work again until he hears himself make a distressed noise—a laugh, actually, though it doesn't sound amused at all.]

What does it matter? I'm alive here, so worrying about that is a waste of time.

[Not that he really believes that himself, but he can pretend.]

[vermicompost]

It doesn't matter if anybody sees. It's true, that's what matters.

[Sorry, Shinji, but Kariya can't hold out any longer. He's just going to lean in and give you a hug.]

That's right, you're alive, and you can stay here.

[looselips]

[For once, Shinji doesn't struggle against the gesture. He doesn't return it, either, but this is still leagues better a response than Kariya could receive. As with praise, he isn't used to hugs. His face burns, so he keeps it where it wound up against Kairya's shoulder.]

Please. Like I have a choice? [Leave it to him to respond with continued negativity. But, his tone isn't as harsh as it often is. He hesitates briefly, then finds himself asking,] Why do you care so much, anyway?

[vermicompost]

[How could someone let this happen to a child, let them die in some kind of computer game? Didn't Shinji have anyone looking after him, even at home?]

You're right, we don't have a choice, but if not for the experiments, I could almost be happy here... [Like the note says. He has his friends, Rin, people who care about him and people he cares for, so many more than back home. Like Shinji, he's alive here. He's been able to live for many months longer than anyone would have thought. But as always, he thinks of the Sakura, Rin and Aoi who are waiting for him back home.] But I have to go back. [No matter what happens to him there.]

I know you're not my nephew, even if you're like him in some ways. We never met. But we've met here, and you do matter to me. I care about what happens to you, and I don't care if that makes you sick.

[He gives a light smile at this slight joke, not releasing Shinji from the hug just yet.]

[looselips]

[He squirms a little, but he doesn't try to break away, really. It's hard to say whether that movement is in reply to the physical contact or the words coming out of Kariya's mouth. Shinji's reply, of course, is as harsh as is typical for him.]

Wow. How pathetic are you? I'm surprised you managed to still be alive before coming here.

[A person carrying an attitude like that into the Grail War is a recipe for disaster, as far as Shinji is concerned. Not to mention, being this soft-hearted isn't fitting for a magus at all. It's practically an embarrassment to the Matou name.]

You're way too old to need someone to mind you.

[After all, Shinji obviously doesn't need anyone. But if Kariya thinks like that, he's only going to get himself killed, and stupidly at that.]