Matou Kariya (AU) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
canofworms) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-03-09 04:08 pm
canofworms) wrote in towerofanimus2013-03-09 04:08 pm
[OPEN] Well, look what the cat dragged in.
Characters: Kariya Matou [AU4] & ALL THE PEOPLE
Setting: Dorms, Various Floors, Choose Your Own Adventure
Format: Any!
Summary: +1 flailing bug magus. Does it count if 'he' is already here?
Warnings: Fate/BUGS
This man, wherever you meet him, may look just the littlest bit familiar. Maybe it's in the hair, or the slightly gloomy look on his face, or even the rumpled turtleneck he's wearing.
Not many will recognize him as the Matou he is, though, unless he has his insect familiars out. His hair and eye (the working one) are a deep purple, and the prana rolling off him in warning waves is no longer a hallmark of the clan.
Now who could this be?
[Dormitory Floor: Room 1-16]
[Hey, folks, you may or may not have an extra body in here. Don't worry, it's wiggling and quite lively.
Click.
If not for the minor commotion of him going through his trunk, you probably wouldn't notice he's here; his clothes and hair are dark enough that he gets lost in the shadows quite easily. The slant of his shoulders is wary. There's a metallic glint in his hands.
Nothing to see here: just a magus loading a handgun.
(Unless that's a nice bulky camera in his hands, but in that case he's just taking a picture of the wall. So productive!)]
[F1: Cafeteria]
[New arrivals season! There are like a million of them here making faces at their oatmeal. You could probably fill an album with the variety. Maybe decorate each floor of the Tower with a different expression of disgust.
This guy would make a pretty boring picture, though, since he's sitting there with absolutely no trace of feeling on his face as he mechanically brings the spoon to his mouth. In fact, his eyes are closed.
Is he sleep-eating or just trying to find a safe space away from the mush??]
[F20: Outside]
[It's fairly chilly out here, but the thin shadow of a man standing about halfway up the ramp, carelessly at the very edge, doesn't seem to notice. He's strangely silhouetted, staring expressionlessly over the edge.
If you come in close enough, you'll realize that those strange irregularities and bumps in his figure are actually countless large, skeletal, demon-eyed insects perched on his shoulders and arms, crawling clumsily in their attempt to keep their foothold in the wind.
Every now and then, he'll raise a hand, and one or two of them will obediently go walking off into the air. They go plummeting downwards until not a trace is left, and leave him looking a little more frustrated each time.
In the meantime, that shadow in the fog behind him may or may not be something sneaking up on him. Or your eyes are just playing tricks on you.]
[F??: Choose Your Own Adventure]
[Any floor, any time, anybug flavor!
There's a rather surly-looking guy pacing up and down the place, muttering angrily to himself and occasionally raising a hand to swat at the two Blade Wing Worms buzzing along behind him whenever they hover in too close.
It's a little hard to tell whether the familiars are actually worried about their master or just trying to get close enough to chomp on his hair.]
If you're not going to make yourselves useful, go chew on each other or something. I don't care.
Setting: Dorms, Various Floors, Choose Your Own Adventure
Format: Any!
Summary: +1 flailing bug magus. Does it count if 'he' is already here?
Warnings: Fate/BUGS
This man, wherever you meet him, may look just the littlest bit familiar. Maybe it's in the hair, or the slightly gloomy look on his face, or even the rumpled turtleneck he's wearing.
Not many will recognize him as the Matou he is, though, unless he has his insect familiars out. His hair and eye (the working one) are a deep purple, and the prana rolling off him in warning waves is no longer a hallmark of the clan.
Now who could this be?
[Dormitory Floor: Room 1-16]
[Hey, folks, you may or may not have an extra body in here. Don't worry, it's wiggling and quite lively.
Click.
If not for the minor commotion of him going through his trunk, you probably wouldn't notice he's here; his clothes and hair are dark enough that he gets lost in the shadows quite easily. The slant of his shoulders is wary. There's a metallic glint in his hands.
Nothing to see here: just a magus loading a handgun.
(Unless that's a nice bulky camera in his hands, but in that case he's just taking a picture of the wall. So productive!)]
[F1: Cafeteria]
[New arrivals season! There are like a million of them here making faces at their oatmeal. You could probably fill an album with the variety. Maybe decorate each floor of the Tower with a different expression of disgust.
This guy would make a pretty boring picture, though, since he's sitting there with absolutely no trace of feeling on his face as he mechanically brings the spoon to his mouth. In fact, his eyes are closed.
Is he sleep-eating or just trying to find a safe space away from the mush??]
[F20: Outside]
[It's fairly chilly out here, but the thin shadow of a man standing about halfway up the ramp, carelessly at the very edge, doesn't seem to notice. He's strangely silhouetted, staring expressionlessly over the edge.
If you come in close enough, you'll realize that those strange irregularities and bumps in his figure are actually countless large, skeletal, demon-eyed insects perched on his shoulders and arms, crawling clumsily in their attempt to keep their foothold in the wind.
Every now and then, he'll raise a hand, and one or two of them will obediently go walking off into the air. They go plummeting downwards until not a trace is left, and leave him looking a little more frustrated each time.
In the meantime, that shadow in the fog behind him may or may not be something sneaking up on him. Or your eyes are just playing tricks on you.]
[F??: Choose Your Own Adventure]
[Any floor, any time, any
There's a rather surly-looking guy pacing up and down the place, muttering angrily to himself and occasionally raising a hand to swat at the two Blade Wing Worms buzzing along behind him whenever they hover in too close.
It's a little hard to tell whether the familiars are actually worried about their master or just trying to get close enough to chomp on his hair.]
If you're not going to make yourselves useful, go chew on each other or something. I don't care.
no subject
[The ridiculousness of that statement actually gives him pause before he just laughs at it, a touch hysterically; but the flat, furious rejection in his eyes doesn't fade as he glares at 'himself'. The fact that they're blind in the same eye makes it even harder to fight the urge to look away.
He won't concede, though, especially not to a wraith like this.]
I've heard about you. You lost to the Worms, and you're losing to Berserker. [His voice is brittle; he hates the words coming out of his mouth, the fact that he has to speak them aloud.] So don't say that.
no subject
Lost. The word cuts through him. His fate isn't decided, and he hasn't lost. He won't lose. Two can play at the laughter game, though Kariya's is more bitter than hysterical. He hadn't expected his other self would sound more like Zouken than himself. Expecting him to fail.]
I don't know what you heard about me, but I'm not losing. To the Worms or to Berserker. I've gotten better, since I came here. I'm going to win.
[There's bright light in his good eye and a deadly certainty in his voice as he says this. No matter what anyone else thinks, it's clear that Kariya himself believes this completely.]
I'll say what I want.
no subject
He has so few things left to be proud of.]
I wouldn't go off just hearsay, Kariya. [Of course, he's acknowledging it if he addresses it like that. He doesn't have the spare energy to care.] I can tell what your magic looks like right now, even if I don't want to look. Don't be stupid.
[He doesn't use the word 'lose' again, meeting the conviction in that one eye and recognizing it despite himself. It's a word that hurts both of them, and the memory of a little girl that he's done his best to put away for good.]
You might be 'better' here, but how long will that last when you go back?
no subject
What my magic looks like doesn't matter. I have my Servant, and I have enough power.
I'll last as long as I need to. That's all that matters.
[He knows that even with the help he's received here, it's more than likely that he'll still die. He doesn't even know what condition he'll be returned in. But he has a chance, and he's going to take that chance and win with it. He doesn't care what anyone else says, or how many people (including his own self) say he's doomed to fail.]
I have to. You know why. [He must know why, thinks Kariya, or he wouldn't be Kariya at all.]
no subject
[Pointless because they know each other too well? Or pointless because they don't know much about each other at all? He believes firmly in the latter, but...
It's just too bad they're just as stubborn as each other. The downside to carrying a conviction needed to live through more than ten years, carefully refashioning it as you go so that it destroys you just slowly enough to go on.
No, he can't deny that, but he's learned a few things even through that blind conviction.]
Sakura. [He's acknowledging, again, the fact that they can't be entirely untangled. The venom in his voice dissolves briefly, though, over the name. He shakes his head, pulls it back over himself like a shield.] I know. But how much do you know? Do you even know what you're fighting? Do you know what victory looks like?
no subject
[The rest of his family, he means, obviously. They'd never accepted him. He doesn't care if it's pointless to compare the two of them. Maybe it doesn't even need to be said, it's so obvious. But then, when does he care about that? If there's one thing he can do, it's belabor a point. He just doesn't want to think that he'd deny himself, of all people.]
Sakura.
[It's a name that means so many things to him: peace, family, happiness, Aoi. He calms when he says it. He's thought of her so often while he's been here. She's why he'll never believe their worlds were destroyed. It's impossible for her to have been taken away, when he's fought so hard for her.
He shakes his head, as if unwilling to consider the questions that the other Kariya raises, but he does consider them. He has considered them. He's had time to think here, even though he'd never asked for time to think. Thinking made what he had to do harder.] There's a lot I don't know. No one told me. I can't know everything. She's all that matters. What happens to me, that doesn't matter anymore. I'm fighting, that's all.
You won? [There's relief in his voice, but not surprise. Saber had told him that he couldn't win, but he'd known she was wrong.] Tell me what victory looks like, then.
no subject
[Even as he says it he feels laughter rising again, trying to choke him: it's an accident of birth -- that he's a magus, that he's a Matou, that he's not this, what is there left to do or say or fight? He can't accept it. He could never accept any of it, isn't that why he's standing here like this?]
There's one thing I can say for us, though. We're both stupid, stupid bastards. Victory-- [His voice cracks. He's had to drag his dirty laundry out so many times today, seen what seems like every ghost of that past by now (it's not even close), and yet. Faced with himself, he has to fight for words.]
There is no victory in the Grail War, you fool. There is no wish. You never had the means to give Zouken what he wanted -- all you're doing is playing into the hands of magi. Their stupid pride. [He's meeting his own eyes, but the rage in his gaze is unseeing. So much of it is elsewhere.] Keep crawling along blindly and that's what you'll deliver Sakura into. That's the only future you'll create.
no subject
[As easy as that. More magic. Just what he doesn't want. But that's what this man has, and that's why he's like this. Alive. After the war.]
I never wanted to be a magus.
I never claimed to be smart. I know my plan is flawed. I know I've made mistakes. [He's had time to think about it, after all. He's had no shortage of time here.]
But what do you mean? How can there be no victory? Someone has to win. [What can he even do with this information? He can't believe that it's all just a lie, that he died for a lie.] I can't stop now. There's nothing else I can do. [What is he supposed to do? Take it all back? Put the worms back where they came from? That's impossible. He'll die just the same.]
What happened to Sakura, afterward? [Because that's what matters to him the most.] What future do you mean?
no subject
[As if he needed to hear that. As if he needed himself to voice all the things that went wrong, that had to go wrong for the smallest thing to go right. That smallest and most important thing. It's like someone's hitting rewind just for the sound of those nails in the coffin.
His hands have balled into shaking fists at his sides, and if they hadn't still been so far apart he might have been tempted to hit himself, no matter how badly it would end. Because it's not like he can do much more. Because it's himself. Because he wants himself to shut up.
His voice isn't steady at all when he manages to unclench his teeth and speak again.]
There wasn't... anything else to do for us. Maybe there wasn't. But, listen to me: the Grail is nothing but a thing of evil. It's corrupted. Maybe it always has been. Give that to Zouken and there will be nothing left. [He doesn't even want to imagine--] Open your eyes. Kill Zouken, if he doesn't kill you first. Maybe you can do that much -- you have Berserker.
[A shuddering breath, and his tone softens until it's barely audible.]
Then Sakura can go back where she belongs.
no subject
[He's quiet for a moment, watching his other self warily. He can see the anger there. He feels it. He's angry himself, even if he can't quite articulate why.]
I know.
[He pauses again, takes a breath, lets it out.]
I never thought the Grail was anything that mattered. I never cared about it. If it granted a wish. I only wanted it for Sakura's sake. But if it's so evil--
I've had time to think. I've been here for months now. Six? I never thought I'd live so much longer. If I can get back now, I'll do things differently. Even if I can't go back and undo my mistakes. [Even if he'll die.] I have Lancelot. He's less of a drain on me when he's like he is now.
I'll kill Zouken. I always wanted to. But I'm not sure, even now... It won't be easy. But I won't give up.
[He's sure Zouken probably had the thought that Kariya might turn on him once he had control over a powerful Servant. He might have a plan in place to deal with that possibility. One never knows with Zouken. But he hates the old man. He would like to see him dead. Along with Tokiomi.
His other self is speaking softly, but he hears the words. He nods.]
That's all I want. For Sakura to be safe.