towerofanimus | One failure too many... [open]

Entry tags:

One failure too many... [open]

Characters: Saber (Alter) and YOU
Setting: Floor 48 (Graveyard)
Format: Action (but I'll match)
Summary: Saber finds Irisviel's gravestone and loses control of her emotions
Warnings: Violence - ANY SERVANT ENTERING THE GRAVEYARD HAS A REAL CHANCE OF DYING VIA EXCALIBUR

[She should be used to not being allowed to have the things she wanted. After all those years being king, denying her emotions, ruling fairly and justly, and the time spent watching her once master with the woman she loved... she should be used to to it. Everything was always taken from her, no matter what she did to try and hold onto it.

Avalon, her kingdom, her knights, her ideals, her trust, her faith... All of it taken away because of her own failures. She'd lost Irisviel in the Fourth War, but had been granted a second chance with her. And yet, she still couldn't have what she wanted for Kiritsugu's ghost lingered even now, even here in the Tower, staying Saber's hand, making her swallow her emotion - her love - for the woman in white. Again, she had tried to be content as nothing more than Irisviel's knight and leave it at that. But it had been so hard with the taint of Angra Mainyu within her, making her feel all those emotions she suppressed so clearly. So, the knight had found other outlets to keep Irisviel pure, to not let her purity be stained by Saber's corruption. And Irisviel was a married woman; Saber could not and would not do what had been done to her back in Camelot. Circumstances may have been different then, but her honor would not allow her to walk the path Lancelot did.

But when Saber could not find Irisviel and instead found the gravestone bearing her name, everything came crashing down upon her at once.

Failure... failure... failure... She'd failed to keep Irisviel safe again. She'd failed to make her princess happy. She'd failed in her duty as a knight. Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Small moments of happiness, all she could ever have, were taken from her again. The one person who understood her as well as, if not better, than herself had disappeared. The loneliness inside of the Saber was a dark and hollow place. She was always lonely and in that emptiness surrounding her heart, Angra Mainyu sat and twisted and squeezed and poisoned Saber's heart. All the Evil of the World wrapped about Saber's core and fed on that emotion she suppressed.

Betrayal.

Failure.

Hatred.

Anger.

Sorrow.

Pain.

Longing.

Rage.

The longer Saber stood there looking down at the stone bearing the name of Irisviel von Einzbern, the more the taint coiled in that kernel of emotion.

Rage.

The evidence of her failure was right before her. The Tower Administrators were rubbing it right into her face.

Rage.

Mocking her. Taunting her. As if she wasn't suffering from self-castigation knowing her failure had sent Irisviel straight back to her death.

Rage.

Such an apt symbol of her failure - this gravestone - knowing Irisviel's fate. But it wasn't a real stone. Irisviel's body wasn't there underneath it. Irisviel had become the Holy Grail. The very thing Kiritsugu forced her against her will to destroy.

Rage.

She'd been the one to destroy Irisviel, to end her existence, commanded to by the man who supposedly loved her. Did he even love her as much as Saber did? Did he even acknowledge that she was there... And now, now, Irisviel was gone again. It was just like Saber had cleaved her in half again. The gravestone started to look to Saber like it was covered in mud as her emotions grew inside.

Rage.

Angra Mainyu coiled tighter and the emotionless king couldn't be emotionless anymore. She hated this place. Hated the stone before her. Hated the way everything she touched corroded and disintegrated. Her kingdom, her wishes, her desires, her hopes, her goals, her dreams... All of them crumbled in her grasp.

Rage.

Legend may call her a great king, the Once and Future King, that lead Britain to a time of golden prosperity, but she knew what she really was. She wasn't the King of Knights. She was the King of Nothing. Nothing... nothing... but RAGE.

Corrupt, dark prana flooded the graveyard then as the red marks of Angra Mainyu spread up Saber's neck and along her jaw and her armor materialized. Visor sliding down to cover her eyes, the black knight had little to no control over her prana, over her anger, as she raised her right hand.]

Excalibur.

[The black sword, tainted with her own corruption and pulling on the dark side of the fae, was summoned into hand. No Invisible Wind obscured the blade from sight. It glowed with a pulsing red and the swirling of dark violet prana around Saber traveled up the sword and then back down in opposite to the pulsing of the red.

She was the King of Nothing and Fuyuki City had been nothing. Her kingdom had become nothing. Her heart was well on its way to becoming nothing. Nothing but rage.

This graveyard should be NOTHING.

With a tremendous surge of prana, Saber activated her Noble Phantasm. The sword in her hand grew in length until it was hard to tell exactly how long it was. Power and corruption crackled along its length as the black knight wielded it like it was also nothing. The rage Angra Mainyu was squeezing out of her black heart was manifest in this version of her Noble Phantasm. Vortigern had indeed been a vile king of Britain before her father. His infamy was almost as famous as her legend.

She would smash everything to nothing. So it would be just like her. Just as all should be. Nothing. Then there would be nothing left to lose. Nothing left to fail.

Nothing.

And with that, Saber swung Excalibur and leveled the entire row of gravestones, Irisviel's included. Clearing a swath, she took another step and turned, cutting another row. Two more rows later, she turned back and saw that name on a stone behind her.

Irisviel von Einzbern.

Rage in her grew and she let out a primal scream as she cut the stone down again. Every few seconds, it would return, as did any other she destroyed. The more they returned, the more she was fueled by emotion to destroy them. Destroy them all.

Nothing... She wanted this place to be nothing. Why did it refuse to end? Unable to answer her own rage-filled question, Saber furiously destroyed row of gravestones after gravestones. It was unending. Neverending.

The stones just kept coming back...]

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[The call of her name barely registered. Saber was too buried in her rage, her higher mind lost to the corruption. This was what she'd always told Catarina she guarded against. This was almost as bad as the madness that infected the Berserker class. The difference was that she -wasn't- mindless.

And it was only that fact that had her tilt her wrist upward just a bit as she pivoted and cut her sword parallel to the ground to take out another group of stones. Had she not done that, Excalibur would have killed Kazumi. Instead, the tainted blade of Vortigern passes a scant inch above the girl's head.]

[Kazumi ducked instinctively as that blade whipped around, but considering how it struck her hat and sent if flying - no, completely disintegrated it - it was obvious she would have died had it been any lower. Crouched near the ground, Kazumi felt a chill run up her spine. This was... everything she'd felt hidden behind Saber's dignity, her sternness, unleashed. Some animal instinct in her told her to run away but... she couldn't just abandon her, not when she was obviously in pain. And considering where they were, she had a feeling she knew why...]

Saber!

[Calling out again, she started to try to move closer, slowly, this time erecting a barrier around herself. It was... painful, in a way, to use this magic like it was her own, but she knew she had to be careful...]

[The barrier at least protected Kazumi from the shards of stone being thrown about with every destroyed stone. Whether it would help if she got in the path of Excalibur was another question.]

Leave.

[That one word was spoken in a hot, strained voice, so unlike the knight Kazumi knew. All that emotion spilling out, she couldn't maintain her stoic demeanor at all.]

[ Sakura had felt the energy from some servant on this floor, so she had come up to cautiously observe and retreat.

That plan was scrapped as soon as she saw that Saber was responsible. And that there was an innocent girl crying out to her servant. No, that was no good. Sakura knew what it was like to feel what Saber was feeling and she knew no amount of words could calm her. Sakura didn't have any command spells either so that was out of the question.

She made a split second decision to rescue Kazumi, it's what Saber would have wanted considering she hadn't obliterated the girl on her first strike. Sakura isn't a great runner, but she sprints forward towards Kazumi and grabs her arm, staying low. ]

We've gotta go. Now.

[That command was chilling in its intensity, but it wasn't quite enough to discourage the girl as she tried to approach her friend. But before she could step forwards, she felt that hand grabbing her arm, and she turned back to see a girl she didn't recognize]

B, but Saber is...

[The protest is weak though, and Kazumi doesn't resist being pulled... she just wants to help her, and not being able to hurts so badly...]

[ If Kazumi isn't resisting, then Sakura is pulling her all the way to the steps. She can explain once they're both far away from the raging Servant. ]

[It took all Saber had of her willpower upon seeing Sakura to force herself to drive Excalibur straight into the ground and drop to one knee. The grass and stone in a large radius about her shattered and the knight's prana crackled between each shard. She held herself there, fighting against the rage for the few seconds she could, hoping it would be enough time for her master to get Kazumi out of there.

Even with the visor down, Sakura would be able to see the signs. The way Saber's gorget no longer hid the red marks, the pulsing of her rage... But it seemed Saber's honor and sense of duty was still just a hair stronger than Angra Mainyu's influence right then. Had Sakura been as before... the chance wouldn't have even existed.

Or if Rin was nearby...]

[Kazumi is pulled along a few steps, still looking back towards the knight, but finally she turns and starts to run with Sakura, retreating back to the stairs. Fortunately, she hadn't actually managed to get very close, so it wasn't very far, the girls stumbling onto that safe zone as the floor shook with that impact. Kazumi's expression was clearly upset though, tears welling up as they moved down a floor to be safe]

[ Once the two are down to a much safer floor, Sakura pulls Kazumi into a hug. In her mind, all of this was her fault. It was Sakura's fault that Saber is the way she is, and her fault that Kazumi had to go through that experience. The guilt was overwhelming and brought tears to her eyes. ]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[And embraced in that hug, Kazumi starts crying, burying her face against the other girl]

No, I... I'm glad you pulled me away. I don't know if I can help her like this... I just... I had to try...

I understand. You're a brave girl.

[ Sakura holds Kazumi tightly, trying not to sob. She has to protect someone this time, not the other way around. ]

Mn... maybe... [Or maybe just dumb. She remembers what it was like when Tohko was trying to stop her when she was influenced by the mist. She just wanted her to get away from her, to be safe... was she just getting in the way, trying to get close to Saber?] I just wish there was something I could do...

I know, but there is nothing either of us can do. It's better to let her vent than to let her hurt the people she cares about. That would only make her feel worse.

Yeah... I wouldn't want to add any guilt to her feelings right now. [She shuddered and clung closer to Sakura, voice muffled as she spoke] Do you... know what caused it?

[Though Kazumi kind of has a hint of it...]

... I caused her taint, so ultimately, it's my fault. Though something else likely triggered her outburst of rage.

I apologize for dumping this onto you but as her friend, you deserve to know that.

Her taint...? You mean, why she's so dark and all? [Saber had never exactly explained that much]

Thank you... I'm Kazumi. Her cook, I guess... and you are?

Yes, that is correct.

I'm Sakura Matou, her master.

Her master? I thought that was Irisviel? Or, you mean from the, um, second time she was summoned?

The second time, yes.

[ Better not to get too complicated, and she doesn't know if Saber wants everyone to know about Shirou. ]

I see... I'm glad, then. That you're here for her, I mean. I guess, you must know her a lot better than me, huh? [There's just so much distance between her and the knight, even with all they've been through here... the fact that she doesn't know what to do for her at a time like this is proof of it]

You'd be surprised at how much I don't know.

So she's just as mysterious with you too? I wish there was a way to get closer with her...

Just keep feeling that way. I know that means something to her.

Mm...

[She winces at a crash from above]

Um... I guess she might be like this for a while, huh?

[ Sakura separates from the other girl, holding her shoulders in her small hands. ]

Can I walk you to your room?

One failure too many... [open]

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