towerofanimus | One failure too many... [open]

Entry tags:

One failure too many... [open]

Characters: Saber (Alter) and YOU
Setting: Floor 48 (Graveyard)
Format: Action (but I'll match)
Summary: Saber finds Irisviel's gravestone and loses control of her emotions
Warnings: Violence - ANY SERVANT ENTERING THE GRAVEYARD HAS A REAL CHANCE OF DYING VIA EXCALIBUR

[She should be used to not being allowed to have the things she wanted. After all those years being king, denying her emotions, ruling fairly and justly, and the time spent watching her once master with the woman she loved... she should be used to to it. Everything was always taken from her, no matter what she did to try and hold onto it.

Avalon, her kingdom, her knights, her ideals, her trust, her faith... All of it taken away because of her own failures. She'd lost Irisviel in the Fourth War, but had been granted a second chance with her. And yet, she still couldn't have what she wanted for Kiritsugu's ghost lingered even now, even here in the Tower, staying Saber's hand, making her swallow her emotion - her love - for the woman in white. Again, she had tried to be content as nothing more than Irisviel's knight and leave it at that. But it had been so hard with the taint of Angra Mainyu within her, making her feel all those emotions she suppressed so clearly. So, the knight had found other outlets to keep Irisviel pure, to not let her purity be stained by Saber's corruption. And Irisviel was a married woman; Saber could not and would not do what had been done to her back in Camelot. Circumstances may have been different then, but her honor would not allow her to walk the path Lancelot did.

But when Saber could not find Irisviel and instead found the gravestone bearing her name, everything came crashing down upon her at once.

Failure... failure... failure... She'd failed to keep Irisviel safe again. She'd failed to make her princess happy. She'd failed in her duty as a knight. Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Small moments of happiness, all she could ever have, were taken from her again. The one person who understood her as well as, if not better, than herself had disappeared. The loneliness inside of the Saber was a dark and hollow place. She was always lonely and in that emptiness surrounding her heart, Angra Mainyu sat and twisted and squeezed and poisoned Saber's heart. All the Evil of the World wrapped about Saber's core and fed on that emotion she suppressed.

Betrayal.

Failure.

Hatred.

Anger.

Sorrow.

Pain.

Longing.

Rage.

The longer Saber stood there looking down at the stone bearing the name of Irisviel von Einzbern, the more the taint coiled in that kernel of emotion.

Rage.

The evidence of her failure was right before her. The Tower Administrators were rubbing it right into her face.

Rage.

Mocking her. Taunting her. As if she wasn't suffering from self-castigation knowing her failure had sent Irisviel straight back to her death.

Rage.

Such an apt symbol of her failure - this gravestone - knowing Irisviel's fate. But it wasn't a real stone. Irisviel's body wasn't there underneath it. Irisviel had become the Holy Grail. The very thing Kiritsugu forced her against her will to destroy.

Rage.

She'd been the one to destroy Irisviel, to end her existence, commanded to by the man who supposedly loved her. Did he even love her as much as Saber did? Did he even acknowledge that she was there... And now, now, Irisviel was gone again. It was just like Saber had cleaved her in half again. The gravestone started to look to Saber like it was covered in mud as her emotions grew inside.

Rage.

Angra Mainyu coiled tighter and the emotionless king couldn't be emotionless anymore. She hated this place. Hated the stone before her. Hated the way everything she touched corroded and disintegrated. Her kingdom, her wishes, her desires, her hopes, her goals, her dreams... All of them crumbled in her grasp.

Rage.

Legend may call her a great king, the Once and Future King, that lead Britain to a time of golden prosperity, but she knew what she really was. She wasn't the King of Knights. She was the King of Nothing. Nothing... nothing... but RAGE.

Corrupt, dark prana flooded the graveyard then as the red marks of Angra Mainyu spread up Saber's neck and along her jaw and her armor materialized. Visor sliding down to cover her eyes, the black knight had little to no control over her prana, over her anger, as she raised her right hand.]

Excalibur.

[The black sword, tainted with her own corruption and pulling on the dark side of the fae, was summoned into hand. No Invisible Wind obscured the blade from sight. It glowed with a pulsing red and the swirling of dark violet prana around Saber traveled up the sword and then back down in opposite to the pulsing of the red.

She was the King of Nothing and Fuyuki City had been nothing. Her kingdom had become nothing. Her heart was well on its way to becoming nothing. Nothing but rage.

This graveyard should be NOTHING.

With a tremendous surge of prana, Saber activated her Noble Phantasm. The sword in her hand grew in length until it was hard to tell exactly how long it was. Power and corruption crackled along its length as the black knight wielded it like it was also nothing. The rage Angra Mainyu was squeezing out of her black heart was manifest in this version of her Noble Phantasm. Vortigern had indeed been a vile king of Britain before her father. His infamy was almost as famous as her legend.

She would smash everything to nothing. So it would be just like her. Just as all should be. Nothing. Then there would be nothing left to lose. Nothing left to fail.

Nothing.

And with that, Saber swung Excalibur and leveled the entire row of gravestones, Irisviel's included. Clearing a swath, she took another step and turned, cutting another row. Two more rows later, she turned back and saw that name on a stone behind her.

Irisviel von Einzbern.

Rage in her grew and she let out a primal scream as she cut the stone down again. Every few seconds, it would return, as did any other she destroyed. The more they returned, the more she was fueled by emotion to destroy them. Destroy them all.

Nothing... She wanted this place to be nothing. Why did it refuse to end? Unable to answer her own rage-filled question, Saber furiously destroyed row of gravestones after gravestones. It was unending. Neverending.

The stones just kept coming back...]

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[Hakuno could feel the wave of dark prana, even several floors below the graveyard. It was the most chilling thing she ever felt - worse than that feeling of an invisible blade at her neck, the one that crept up every time she had encountered Assassin. This was like someone had clamped a hand on the back of her neck and squeezed, and every part of her brain was screaming at her to run.

But... no. She didn't. Amidst the darkness and anger, she could recognize something... familiar about this energy. It was that Saber. The Black one... if this kind of energy was flowing from her, she was either in trouble, or angry. And, well... Hakuno didn't know her that well, but she was still someone that she had a connection to. She couldn't just ignore this.

So she climbed the stairs as quickly as possible, and nearly stumbled back down them when she reached the graveyard floor. Between all the battles she had witnessed, this was without a doubt the most intense display of a Servant's power she had seen. Again, she knew that the smart thing to do would be to get the hell out of there, but she wasn't. The way Saber raged against the gravestones... something was very wrong here.]

Saber, stop! [She has to yell to make her voice heard among the chaos, but she manages.] Whatever you're doing, it's not working!

[Saber whirled about at Hakuno's voice and the group of gravestones next to the girl exploded as the servant's noble phantasm smashed them. Chips of stone flew into the air as the faceless visor seemed focused on her.

The girl. The stupid girl. She was just like him. Like that idiot of a master she had. Like Shirou. She didn't say anything before turning her back to the girl and striding to a far end of the floor. Excalibur was twirled in her hands once before she cut a two handed strike at the wall itself as if the cut the Tower in half.

Which was her aim, except the wall remained intact and the blacked scorch mark from the blow faded before their eyes.]

[Hakuno flinched, arms raising to protect herself from the debris flying everywhere at the attack. But she didn't fall back. She didn't run from battle when she had her Saber by her side, so... she can't do it now. She has to be strong. Especially with Black Saber doing what she was doing now. It was one thing to destroy the gravestones, but trying to destroy the tower???

She ran forward, stopping far enough behind the Servant to hopefully not invade her personal space, but close enough so that she can keep talking to her.]

You can't do this! Even if you manage to break a hole in the wall, something really awful is going to happen to you! Is that what you want/

[Seething up at the wall, Saber swung her sword out to the side, destroying some more stones, before turning back toward Hakuno. She brought the sword before her, as if bearing the noble phantasm at the girl.]

Failure deserves punishment. But if all is nothing, there is nothing to fail.

[She then reversed the sword so it was point down and drove it into the ground beneath her feet before pivoting and ripping the blade out. It should have cut straight through to the floor below, but all that happened was a few empty caskets were unearthed before disintegrating under the power of Excalibur.]

Saber growled in frustration and lashed out at more gravestones.]

[Again, Hakuno took a step back. But only one. If Saber had really wanted to kill her... well. She had two perfect shots already, right? She can't be scared now.]

Failure...? [Ah. Then it clicked. The anger, the claim of failure, the rage against the gravestones which bore the names of all the people that had disappeared in this tower.]

You... someone important to you was taken from the tower.

[Her voice is softer this time, sadder. It wasn't a question: she knew. It had to be the only explanation.]

[Unbiddden, Saber found herself looking back at the spot where Irisviel's stone was. It stood once more, as if nothing had ever happened to it, but it still looked covered in mud to her.]

She is dead. I killed her.

[And with another rage-filled scream, Saber leveled that area of the graveyard again.]

[Hakuno waits for Saber's attack to finish before she speaks up again.]

I don't believe that. If this person... [She had gotten a brief glimpse of the name before Saber destroyed it. Irisviel...? Sounds feminine.] If this woman really was important enough to you to cause this much of a reaction, there's no way you could have killed her.

I did. He made me. He made me.

[She lashed out again, turning toward Hakuno, stalking toward her.] You are a master. You know how to make us do it.

[She holds up her hands in surrender, taking half a step back but no more. Saber... Saber was in pain, wasn't she? She can't run away from someone who's hurting like that.]

I don't- [Wait. "Make us do it"? Her eyes drift to the back of one of her raised hands, glancing at the faded marks where her command spells used to be.] Your... your Master made you kill someone you care about?

[The disbelief and horror - and perhaps even a tinge of disgust? - was quite clear in the girl's voice. How... how could someone even think of forcing a Servant to do that?]

His wife.

[Saber shifted Excalibur, still brimming with all that power and corruption, to one hand and moved quickly to grab Hakuno about the neck and lift her off the ground.]

I loved her. I swore to protect her. I was her knight. And I failed her. Now I have lost her again. We Servants are nothing to you Masters than tools. Weapons. Swords to cut down everything in your path to obtain power or your greatest wish.

And you all wonder why I chose the path that would lead to destroying it all.

[Hakuno lets out a choked gasp, hands immediately flying to grasp at Saber's wrist. She didn't struggle - no, that would only make it worse, most likely - but she continues to speak. It's slow going, but she manages to force the words out.]

I can't... speak for other Masters. [She winces. It's hard, trying to speak with the pressure around her neck, but she tries anyway.] But Servants... aren't anything like that to me...!

[She grits her teeth, eyes clenching shut. She'd been trying to bottle up all the hurt that she's felt since Saber disappeared, but that jab caused it all to just spill out.] It would be an insult... t-to call all of you less than human...

What is one more insult on top of another? A hero is one who is hated.

[She threw Hakuno to the ground.]

So be it. [And she draws Excalibur back, for the moment looking like she was going to cut Hakuno down, before turning and destroying that damn stone again.]

[Hakuno coughs and gasps for breath a few times, wincing as she pulls herself up into a sitting position. Ouch... she's definitely going to be hurting for a while.

But when she looks up, she notices that Saber had flung her to a spot in the graveyard that she knew quite well. She had been visiting a lot, after all.]

That's not true. [Her voice is soft again, staring not at Saber's turned back, but at the gravestone right in front of her.

The gravestone that bears the name "Saber".

But it's not in the location that this Saber would know her own gravestone to be. So that must mean...]

A hero can be hated, sure. But they're not someone who must be hated. A real hero is someone who's tales can shine above what the people who hate them may think. It's easy to remember people only for the bad things they do. But to be able to remember the good amongst the bad? That's... well. That's special.

[She sighs, rubbing her neck, flinching as she does.] I know I'm probably not making any sense. Sorry...

A hero does what must be done despite the hatred that comes from it. That is what a hero is. My people hated me enough to rebel.

'Arthur does not know the feelings of men.'

[She turned back and saw the stone Hakuno was at. She drove Excalibur through it.]

I protected them. From the Romans. From the Saxons and the Gauls. From everyone. I did everything for them and their prosperity and it got me nothing. My own son fought me.

It would be better if there really was nothing and all our worlds destroyed.

No, don't--! [Too late. A pained look crosses Hakuno's face; even if they regenerate, even if they're just chunks of stone placed over empty graves... it still hurts, seeing the only thing to remind her that Saber had really been here be destroyed.] ... That wasn't yours. You didn't have to do that.

[She was about to say something else, but she pauses as the name finally clicks. Arthur... a king slain by a son...]

You're... King Arthur?

Forgive me for not being a man.

[Those words were almost sneered at Hakuno. And she knew that stone hadn't been hers. She knew it belonged to the Roman, but she didn't care.

She whirled about and took another swing at the Tower walls themselves, scoring large black lines through them that just faded away as if they were never there.]

No, I-- [She pauses as Saber attacks again. She probably should try to stop her, for the Servant's sake, but she's starting to think that Saber needs this. Hakuno will just... have to help her through whatever punishment is sure to be coming.]

Believe me, I'll be the last person surprised that someone who was said to be a man in history or legend was really a woman. It was surprising because... you revealed your name to me without me asking. [A truly shocking reveal, since Saber seemed to cling so fiercely to the Grail War.] And don't worry, the last thing I'd do is tell anyone.

[She was angry. That was the only reason why it came out of her mouth to someone who didn't already know. She had to cling to the Grail War because it was the only way to achieve what she wanted. To truly be nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.]

It does not matter. You will become nothing like everything else.

"Become" nothing...? [Ouch. Low blow. She's not really sure if Saber realized just what that meant to Hakuno, but still... it hurt.] I already am nothing. Or... I will be. I would be. I don't know... being pulled from my world as my being was being deleted kind of messes up how I view myself.

[Saber had no idea what effect her words had on Hakuno. She wasn't aware of much regarding the Mooncell War.]

Then you can be yet another of my subjects as I am the King of Nothing. Be gone.

[And she turns back to destroying the stones, working away from Hakuno. The rage was making it harder and harder to control her attacks and not lash out at those that could feel pain like she did.]

Sorry, I'm going to have to ignore that request.

[She gets to her feet, moving slowly and keeping a safe distance behind Saber - close enough to talk to her, but far enough to (hopefully) not be surprised by any attacks.]

I don't really have much experience comforting people... usually it's the other way around. But I do know that leaving someone who's in pain alone is usually a bad idea.

And being in pain because you lost someone you really cared about is something I know quite well by now. I can't say I completely understand you, but... that much much I can understand.

The longer you stay, the less I will be able to direct my rage. Do not be Shirou. Get away from me.

Now.

But I can't. I know we don't know each other well, but I still know you better than I know a lot of the other people in this tower. And I don't want to just leave when you're like this.

I'll just... stop talking if you want. Or stay by the stairs or something. There has to be something outside of leaving I can do to help...

Can you bring her back? No!

[Another slash at the Tower walls.]

Will you die if you stay here? Yes. Do not linger that long. I do not want to be responsible for an idiot's death.

But doing this won't bring her back either! So what's the point? All you're doing is upping your chances of the administrators trapping you in some horrible punishment.

[It's here that Hakuno braces herself. She's not sure how Saber will react to this, but there might be a chance that what she says next could get her killed.] Do... do you really think this woman you loved would want you to be doing this? If she accepted you as her knight, that must have meant she cared about you as well! Do you honestly believe someone who cares about you would want to see you losing yourself to rage like this?

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