Saber (Alter) | Reul's Right Hand (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
scorchedchivalry) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-03-25 02:46 pm
scorchedchivalry) wrote in towerofanimus2013-03-25 02:46 pm
One failure too many... [open]
Characters: Saber (Alter) and YOU
Setting: Floor 48 (Graveyard)
Format: Action (but I'll match)
Summary: Saber finds Irisviel's gravestone and loses control of her emotions
Warnings: Violence - ANY SERVANT ENTERING THE GRAVEYARD HAS A REAL CHANCE OF DYING VIA EXCALIBUR
[She should be used to not being allowed to have the things she wanted. After all those years being king, denying her emotions, ruling fairly and justly, and the time spent watching her once master with the woman she loved... she should be used to to it. Everything was always taken from her, no matter what she did to try and hold onto it.
Avalon, her kingdom, her knights, her ideals, her trust, her faith... All of it taken away because of her own failures. She'd lost Irisviel in the Fourth War, but had been granted a second chance with her. And yet, she still couldn't have what she wanted for Kiritsugu's ghost lingered even now, even here in the Tower, staying Saber's hand, making her swallow her emotion - her love - for the woman in white. Again, she had tried to be content as nothing more than Irisviel's knight and leave it at that. But it had been so hard with the taint of Angra Mainyu within her, making her feel all those emotions she suppressed so clearly. So, the knight had found other outlets to keep Irisviel pure, to not let her purity be stained by Saber's corruption. And Irisviel was a married woman; Saber could not and would not do what had been done to her back in Camelot. Circumstances may have been different then, but her honor would not allow her to walk the path Lancelot did.
But when Saber could not find Irisviel and instead found the gravestone bearing her name, everything came crashing down upon her at once.
Failure... failure... failure... She'd failed to keep Irisviel safe again. She'd failed to make her princess happy. She'd failed in her duty as a knight. Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Small moments of happiness, all she could ever have, were taken from her again. The one person who understood her as well as, if not better, than herself had disappeared. The loneliness inside of the Saber was a dark and hollow place. She was always lonely and in that emptiness surrounding her heart, Angra Mainyu sat and twisted and squeezed and poisoned Saber's heart. All the Evil of the World wrapped about Saber's core and fed on that emotion she suppressed.
Betrayal.
Failure.
Hatred.
Anger.
Sorrow.
Pain.
Longing.
Rage.
The longer Saber stood there looking down at the stone bearing the name of Irisviel von Einzbern, the more the taint coiled in that kernel of emotion.
Rage.
The evidence of her failure was right before her. The Tower Administrators were rubbing it right into her face.
Rage.
Mocking her. Taunting her. As if she wasn't suffering from self-castigation knowing her failure had sent Irisviel straight back to her death.
Rage.
Such an apt symbol of her failure - this gravestone - knowing Irisviel's fate. But it wasn't a real stone. Irisviel's body wasn't there underneath it. Irisviel had become the Holy Grail. The very thing Kiritsugu forced her against her will to destroy.
Rage.
She'd been the one to destroy Irisviel, to end her existence, commanded to by the man who supposedly loved her. Did he even love her as much as Saber did? Did he even acknowledge that she was there... And now, now, Irisviel was gone again. It was just like Saber had cleaved her in half again. The gravestone started to look to Saber like it was covered in mud as her emotions grew inside.
Rage.
Angra Mainyu coiled tighter and the emotionless king couldn't be emotionless anymore. She hated this place. Hated the stone before her. Hated the way everything she touched corroded and disintegrated. Her kingdom, her wishes, her desires, her hopes, her goals, her dreams... All of them crumbled in her grasp.
Rage.
Legend may call her a great king, the Once and Future King, that lead Britain to a time of golden prosperity, but she knew what she really was. She wasn't the King of Knights. She was the King of Nothing. Nothing... nothing... but RAGE.
Corrupt, dark prana flooded the graveyard then as the red marks of Angra Mainyu spread up Saber's neck and along her jaw and her armor materialized. Visor sliding down to cover her eyes, the black knight had little to no control over her prana, over her anger, as she raised her right hand.]
Excalibur.
[The black sword, tainted with her own corruption and pulling on the dark side of the fae, was summoned into hand. No Invisible Wind obscured the blade from sight. It glowed with a pulsing red and the swirling of dark violet prana around Saber traveled up the sword and then back down in opposite to the pulsing of the red.
She was the King of Nothing and Fuyuki City had been nothing. Her kingdom had become nothing. Her heart was well on its way to becoming nothing. Nothing but rage.
This graveyard should be NOTHING.
With a tremendous surge of prana, Saber activated her Noble Phantasm. The sword in her hand grew in length until it was hard to tell exactly how long it was. Power and corruption crackled along its length as the black knight wielded it like it was also nothing. The rage Angra Mainyu was squeezing out of her black heart was manifest in this version of her Noble Phantasm. Vortigern had indeed been a vile king of Britain before her father. His infamy was almost as famous as her legend.
She would smash everything to nothing. So it would be just like her. Just as all should be. Nothing. Then there would be nothing left to lose. Nothing left to fail.
Nothing.
And with that, Saber swung Excalibur and leveled the entire row of gravestones, Irisviel's included. Clearing a swath, she took another step and turned, cutting another row. Two more rows later, she turned back and saw that name on a stone behind her.
Irisviel von Einzbern.
Rage in her grew and she let out a primal scream as she cut the stone down again. Every few seconds, it would return, as did any other she destroyed. The more they returned, the more she was fueled by emotion to destroy them. Destroy them all.
Nothing... She wanted this place to be nothing. Why did it refuse to end? Unable to answer her own rage-filled question, Saber furiously destroyed row of gravestones after gravestones. It was unending. Neverending.
The stones just kept coming back...]
Setting: Floor 48 (Graveyard)
Format: Action (but I'll match)
Summary: Saber finds Irisviel's gravestone and loses control of her emotions
Warnings: Violence - ANY SERVANT ENTERING THE GRAVEYARD HAS A REAL CHANCE OF DYING VIA EXCALIBUR
[She should be used to not being allowed to have the things she wanted. After all those years being king, denying her emotions, ruling fairly and justly, and the time spent watching her once master with the woman she loved... she should be used to to it. Everything was always taken from her, no matter what she did to try and hold onto it.
Avalon, her kingdom, her knights, her ideals, her trust, her faith... All of it taken away because of her own failures. She'd lost Irisviel in the Fourth War, but had been granted a second chance with her. And yet, she still couldn't have what she wanted for Kiritsugu's ghost lingered even now, even here in the Tower, staying Saber's hand, making her swallow her emotion - her love - for the woman in white. Again, she had tried to be content as nothing more than Irisviel's knight and leave it at that. But it had been so hard with the taint of Angra Mainyu within her, making her feel all those emotions she suppressed so clearly. So, the knight had found other outlets to keep Irisviel pure, to not let her purity be stained by Saber's corruption. And Irisviel was a married woman; Saber could not and would not do what had been done to her back in Camelot. Circumstances may have been different then, but her honor would not allow her to walk the path Lancelot did.
But when Saber could not find Irisviel and instead found the gravestone bearing her name, everything came crashing down upon her at once.
Failure... failure... failure... She'd failed to keep Irisviel safe again. She'd failed to make her princess happy. She'd failed in her duty as a knight. Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Small moments of happiness, all she could ever have, were taken from her again. The one person who understood her as well as, if not better, than herself had disappeared. The loneliness inside of the Saber was a dark and hollow place. She was always lonely and in that emptiness surrounding her heart, Angra Mainyu sat and twisted and squeezed and poisoned Saber's heart. All the Evil of the World wrapped about Saber's core and fed on that emotion she suppressed.
Betrayal.
Failure.
Hatred.
Anger.
Sorrow.
Pain.
Longing.
Rage.
The longer Saber stood there looking down at the stone bearing the name of Irisviel von Einzbern, the more the taint coiled in that kernel of emotion.
Rage.
The evidence of her failure was right before her. The Tower Administrators were rubbing it right into her face.
Rage.
Mocking her. Taunting her. As if she wasn't suffering from self-castigation knowing her failure had sent Irisviel straight back to her death.
Rage.
Such an apt symbol of her failure - this gravestone - knowing Irisviel's fate. But it wasn't a real stone. Irisviel's body wasn't there underneath it. Irisviel had become the Holy Grail. The very thing Kiritsugu forced her against her will to destroy.
Rage.
She'd been the one to destroy Irisviel, to end her existence, commanded to by the man who supposedly loved her. Did he even love her as much as Saber did? Did he even acknowledge that she was there... And now, now, Irisviel was gone again. It was just like Saber had cleaved her in half again. The gravestone started to look to Saber like it was covered in mud as her emotions grew inside.
Rage.
Angra Mainyu coiled tighter and the emotionless king couldn't be emotionless anymore. She hated this place. Hated the stone before her. Hated the way everything she touched corroded and disintegrated. Her kingdom, her wishes, her desires, her hopes, her goals, her dreams... All of them crumbled in her grasp.
Rage.
Legend may call her a great king, the Once and Future King, that lead Britain to a time of golden prosperity, but she knew what she really was. She wasn't the King of Knights. She was the King of Nothing. Nothing... nothing... but RAGE.
Corrupt, dark prana flooded the graveyard then as the red marks of Angra Mainyu spread up Saber's neck and along her jaw and her armor materialized. Visor sliding down to cover her eyes, the black knight had little to no control over her prana, over her anger, as she raised her right hand.]
Excalibur.
[The black sword, tainted with her own corruption and pulling on the dark side of the fae, was summoned into hand. No Invisible Wind obscured the blade from sight. It glowed with a pulsing red and the swirling of dark violet prana around Saber traveled up the sword and then back down in opposite to the pulsing of the red.
She was the King of Nothing and Fuyuki City had been nothing. Her kingdom had become nothing. Her heart was well on its way to becoming nothing. Nothing but rage.
This graveyard should be NOTHING.
With a tremendous surge of prana, Saber activated her Noble Phantasm. The sword in her hand grew in length until it was hard to tell exactly how long it was. Power and corruption crackled along its length as the black knight wielded it like it was also nothing. The rage Angra Mainyu was squeezing out of her black heart was manifest in this version of her Noble Phantasm. Vortigern had indeed been a vile king of Britain before her father. His infamy was almost as famous as her legend.
She would smash everything to nothing. So it would be just like her. Just as all should be. Nothing. Then there would be nothing left to lose. Nothing left to fail.
Nothing.
And with that, Saber swung Excalibur and leveled the entire row of gravestones, Irisviel's included. Clearing a swath, she took another step and turned, cutting another row. Two more rows later, she turned back and saw that name on a stone behind her.
Irisviel von Einzbern.
Rage in her grew and she let out a primal scream as she cut the stone down again. Every few seconds, it would return, as did any other she destroyed. The more they returned, the more she was fueled by emotion to destroy them. Destroy them all.
Nothing... She wanted this place to be nothing. Why did it refuse to end? Unable to answer her own rage-filled question, Saber furiously destroyed row of gravestones after gravestones. It was unending. Neverending.
The stones just kept coming back...]
no subject
[Saber closed her eyes then and drew in a deep breath.] I do not fault you for your ignorance, Wart.
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But, hearing that, it feels like a weight has been lifted off her chest. That, perhaps, Camelot's destruction truly was an accident and not her own fault. How could she have known the Grail's true nature? How could she have known that her wish to save Camelot would ultimately destroy it?]
And I do not fault you for anything, Arturia.
[Saber had not asked to be tainted and, given how much control of her self she had, she had managed better than anyone else in her position might. And, by her own admission, she had a future to go back to if her wish was granted. Something Arturia would see happen one way or another. She just had to get everyone free of this tower and save the worlds first.
Somehow.]
She would fault you for anything either.
assuming that's supposed to be 'wouldn't' at the end there...
[Her brow furrowed.]
I am not sure who.
Yep. My bad on that.
[Or was it similar to the madness that had consumed the Berserkers? If it was a noble warrior, he would seek answers and understand the situation and, if not, then she knew Saber would be able to protect herself from that servant.]
no subject
...Lancer class?
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[Then again, she's never actively sought out the people from their world.]
Do you remember anything else?
no subject
[She shakes her head.] Nothing else. It was fast. Two strikes of Excalibur, I think.
no subject
So, when you're like that, you really can't think at all?
[A stupid question, but she's getting curious about the taint Saber has to bear.]
no subject
This is the first time I have been unable to suppress the rage. I can think... It is not madness like the Berserker class. But it is... strong.
[Her hand touches the spread marks on her neck and jaw. She didn't even realize it was up to her cheek then.]
no subject
[The curse. The taint upon her other self's skin. She's heard bits and pieces about it before, but never the full story, never any of the details.]
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Picture a poisoned knife driven into your heart. You have two choices then. You can pull the knife free before the poison sets in, but to do so is to perish for your heart will bleed out. The other choice is to leave the knife there and heal around it. You still live, you still continue on, but the poison on the knife is continually leeching into your body. It first consumes your heart, infects your soul and then tries to eat at your mind.
Out of all three, there is only one willpower can stave off. It is the only think that keeps you from becoming a ravening monster.
[She looks over toward the stairs where Illyasviel had been earlier.]
Berserker was claimed by the taint as I was. But without a mind to resist it... [She shook her head.] He was covered from head to toe with the mark of Angra Mainyu.
no subject
At least Arturia still had her mind, even if she no longer had control of her body when called upon. At least her heart and soul were still in tact. Ragged, yes. Worn thin, yes, but still in tact. She did not have something constantly eating at her very being, something she needed to stave off at all times lest it consume her. And then the thought of Hercules being consumed by the same thing, unable to fight due to his mind being consumed is downright horrifying.
....part of her wonders if the people of Camelot went through the same thing when Angra Mainyu consumed them.]
And you mentioned before you had methods to help keep it at bay? [She's thinking back to the bar.]
I apologize if I'm prying into matters you'd rather not talk about. Please let me know if you wish me to stop.
no subject
[She falls silent for a moment.]
Sakura is here. That will help. It had become hard to deal with as of late.
no subject
[Sakura had been a good friend to her and now that she knew more about the girl's situation, the more she wished to protect her. She had been a dear friend of Shirou's, Rin's sister, and kind to Arturia herself in her world. The least she could do is help protect her.
And she knows Saber would kill her before she could hurt her Master.]
As to your outlets, if there's any way I can help you with them, do not be afraid to ask that of me as well.
[She thinks it's more along the lines of sparring matches and potentially being a human pincushion.]
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[Well. She remembers hearing about the various relationships on her post, but she keeps that to herself. Surely it can't involve the sort of things she, Rin, and Shirou had to do in order to survive fighting against Berserker.]
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[A beat.]
Will you be all right now? Or would you like me to stay a while? [They didn't even need to talk. She only intended to stay and keep Saber company.]
no subject
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[She rises to her feet, offers Saber her hand to help her up.]
You can stay in my room until Excalibur returns if you need a safe haven.
[That was another disturbing thought: the Administrators can call off people's powers so suddenly. Arturia has no doubt it will return to her eventually, but Saber needs to be able to protect herself should Cu Chulain come for her.]
no subject
I am tired. Would you allow me respite?
[Since she's not just going to assume she can sleep on Arturia's bed. Even if it was... hers. Sorta. Ish.]
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Thank you, Wart. Let us go.
OOC