In the greyness and drizzle of one despondent dawn...

[culbutiri]

Characters: Nesir Aeser and you
Setting: Floor 20
Format: Prose but I will switch
Summary: Aftermath of being a drone.
Warnings: just event stuff and dark thoughts

When Nesir had seen the dress laid out on her bed she had almost lost her temper, cut it up and thrown it away. But she had forced herself to stay calm because it had been given to her to provoke that reaction, to make her lose control. And she wouldn't, she had put it on instead, transferring the poisons to the hidden pockets, and moving her daggers across.

She had never worn it before, it had been stowed in her trunk in the temple after Lotte had thrown it at her in anger, I had it made specially for you, and I almost had to bury you in it.

Only fitting that she should wear it now then, beyond death. A soul trapped, away from the natural order of things and kept, contained.

Theirs to do what they liked with. Nesir sat on floor twenty, at the edge of the tower, legs dangling off the side staring out into the fog and emptiness. She remembered every moment, the pain, the brainwashing, the feeling that everything was alright, her actions, what she had done, attacking, killing.

She had been controlled before, both as training and punishment. Her body a puppet. It happened rarely, for she rarely disobeyed, had never disobeyed before she went to the temple. Yet this had been different, because her mind had always been her own. She might not be able to speak, to move except on the whims of whoever was pulling the strings, but she could think, she could curse them silently, she could fight back mentally.

But even that had been taken away, her mind had been theirs, she had obeyed them mindlessly. Helpless, like a child, unable to fight back, not even wanting to...

And as far as she could gather there was no reason except that they could.

Causing chaos, it was a motive she could get behind but these were blasphemers, they worshiped no shadow god, they stole souls, they played with life and death itself.

Her life and death, her soul, her mind. She was more than a puppet, she had proven that. She made her own decisions, she was her own person. She was Nesir, she had made the name her own, she was Culbu. She had earned a name, and she had earned her free will. She was obedient, she was loyal. She didn't need to be controlled.

But these people played by no rules she knew and seemed determined to prove her wrong.

She would destroy them, she did not know how, or when, but she would. She didn't know if the shadow god could hear her hear, but she closed her eyes and pledged it, the destruction of this place, the blood of everyone who stood against her.

Comments

[terreifying]

Heeee~ey, Nesir.

[Rei peeps over from behind her shoulder.]

You look pretty today!

[culbutiri]

[Nesir looked over at the voice and managed a tiny smile back] Hello Rei.

[And then blushed because she still didn't know how to deal with compliments.] Thank you... The dress do be being from home.

[terreifying]

Ooh! That sounds really good! You should wear it more often.

[culbutiri]

I did just be getting it...

[She shuffled a little bit, making room for Rei if she wanted to sit down, she didn't mind Rei, Rei was safe, she hadn't met her whilst she had been controlled.]

[terreifying]

[Rei plops down next to Nesir.]

You mean the administrators just gave it to you or something?

[culbutiri]

[She nodded] They did be.

How do you be being?

[terreifying]

Oh, I'm fine.

[Except for the occasional drone encounter.]

I guess everyone is fine now that the people Jason played with are all human again.

[culbutiri]

Yes... I do be sure everyone do be fine. [Physically at least]

Did he be getting you?

[terreifying]

Nope. I was the same as I always was.

[A moment of silence.]

...And you?

[culbutiri]

[She was silent for a moment, staring outwards] Yeah, he did be getting me.

[nottheonly]

Oh.

[She stares at Nesir for a moment, then slowly wraps her arms around the other girl.]

[culbutiri]

[Nesir stiffens, not sure what to do, unused to this. It's one thing huddling for warmth but she could count the times she had been hugged since she left for the temple on one hand, and most of those times had been Lotte having a crisis.

So she sat still, glad for the comfort even if it made her feel strange.]

[terreifying]

Does this feel better?

[She continues to hug Nesir, waiting for a response.]

[culbutiri]

[She freezes not sure on the correct answer, not sure if there is a correct response. Because she knows plenty of people who like hugging and plenty of people who don't and there was nothing connecting them.

She wasn't sure if hugging was a thing that should make her feel better though. Because surely it would mean she cared, and she didn't.

Not at all. She shrugged.] I do no be knowing, it do be feeling strange.

[terreifying]

[Rei pulls away slightly.]

Do the people of your world not hug?

[culbutiri]

They do be. Some of them I do be guessing. Everyone do being different I do be thinking.

[terreifying]

Then...Don't you like hugs?

[culbutiri]

I do no be knowing. I have no been being deciding yet.

[terreifying]

Okay. But if you like them, I can give you hugs whenever you want.

[culbutiri]

Do you be liking giving people hugs?

[terreifying]

If they're my friends!

[culbutiri]

[She's good and doesn't even sneer at that, even if she wants to.] Why do you be liking it?

[terreifying]

Because it's comfortable and it lets them know you love them?

[culbutiri]

[The most confused stare ever] You do be loving me?

[terreifying]

I think I sort of do. As a friend.

Or do you call it something else in your world? That feeling when two people like each other as friends?