Sheba | Child of the Gods (
seekinganswers) wrote in
towerofanimus2013-04-28 01:42 am
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Entry tags:
009 ♃ the finger that you're pointing has knocked me on my knees
Characters: Sheba and you! And Sheba and Asch, too.
Setting: The graveyard and around the Tower in general for the open part; the third floor library for the closed part.
Format: Action to start, but I'll switch to prose if you want.
Summary: Backdated to a few days after the end of the Rebellion event. Sheba comes back to herself, and realizes that it's not exactly a pleasant place to be now that one of her close friends is gone and another of her close friends has died by her hand in the last few days.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death/body modifications, but hey... at least she's freaked out enough by the fact that she was able to hear everyone all at once during the event that the chances of her trying to read your character's mind are way downfor once?
[The graveyard.]
[It has to be a lie, Sheba thinks as she struggles to catch her breath. But the name on the grave's headstone can't be denied - Felix's name is here, instead of by his door like it was supposed to be. She knows by now what it means when a grave appears on this floor, and perhaps she'd realized what had happened even before she arrived here. She'd turned on her heel and run all the way down from the dormitory levels (not stopping for anything or anyone, because the elevator was just too slow and she had to keep moving) as soon as she'd seen it, and why else would she come to the graveyard if some part of her hadn't accepted but felt the need to confirm that he was gone?
He can't be dead - she won't allow herself to believe that. But he's not here. Has his soul been sucked back to the ruins of Weyard, she wonders? Or maybe he found some way out, and the Administrators simply don't want the others to know.
But then why wouldn't he take me with him?
It's now, looking down at the grave, that she realizes she's taken him - and his kindness - for granted. Why hadn't she thanked him for what he'd done for her on Weyard when she had the chance? Why hadn't she tried to spend more time with him while he was here? She knows that sometimes the people whose graves appear here do return, but she also knows that's less likely to happen than him just staying gone is.
She takes a deep, shaky breath and sinks to her knees in front of the grave, her eyes locked on the name etched in the stone.]
You're really gone...
[She'll likely stay there for a long while, thinking in circles about what this means and what she has to do next, because a small part of her knows that it's no good to just stay here uselessly thinking about things she can't change, unless someone happens to find her there and interrupt her.]
[Around the tower - you pick the floor!]
[Sheba wishes she could say she was doing something more productive than just wandering, but, well - she can't, because she's not.
She's not really aware of where she is, though she is keeping an eye out for immediate dangers. Could she tell you what floor she's on? No. Could she tell you if there were monsters about to attack? Certainly, and she'd attack right back. She could use some outlet for her frustrations, even if her preferred attack brings back rather unpleasant memories.
You might see her sitting quietly, deep in thought; you might see her idly walking around the floor; you might see her coming up or down the stairs, or even waiting for - or waiting on - the elevator. Really, she's not picky about where she wanders to as long as it's not the dormitory levels or the graveyard; she doesn't want quite a potent reminder that her friend is gone.
Deep down, she knows she should start working on seeking out the people she wronged while her mind wasn't her own, but for the moment... she's just looking for any sort of distraction as she sorts out what her next move should be.]
[The Library - closed to Asch.]
[Enough time has passed for Sheba to get her head on straight - kind of.
She needs more information, and if prior experience here has taught her anything it's that after things like the last few days people tend to swarm the network with posts. She doesn't really want to see them face to face - even hearing peoples' voices aloud, with more than one or two people around her at once, reminds her of being unable to control the thoughts she could and couldn't hear - but she does need to figure out what it is that they know and how she can use it.
There's too many people on the dormitory levels. She doesn't want to hear them, even if they are just passing by. And besides, it's still too soon -
No, the library was better. People were quieter, and if it got overwhelming she could just move to a less crowded part or hide behind some shelves or even just grab a book, stick her nose in it, and make it abundantly clear that she wasn't really in the mood to talk.
She's on her way to one of the terminals when she spots it - a beanbag surrounded by stacks of books. Her footsteps, echoing faintly in the quiet of the library, slow; when she sees red hair they come to a stop entirely.
It's Asch. She knows she needs to apologize for what she did to him, and while she'd wandered around the last few days she'd thought of how to try to word that apology, but now that she's actually seen him the words die on her lips.
She clears her throat to get his attention, but keeps her distance. If he doesn't want anything to do with her right now, she can easily leave him alone. She's incredibly reluctant to force him to stay in her company after she'd given him no choice but to stand there while she killed him just a week or so before.]
Setting: The graveyard and around the Tower in general for the open part; the third floor library for the closed part.
Format: Action to start, but I'll switch to prose if you want.
Summary: Backdated to a few days after the end of the Rebellion event. Sheba comes back to herself, and realizes that it's not exactly a pleasant place to be now that one of her close friends is gone and another of her close friends has died by her hand in the last few days.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death/body modifications, but hey... at least she's freaked out enough by the fact that she was able to hear everyone all at once during the event that the chances of her trying to read your character's mind are way down
[The graveyard.]
[It has to be a lie, Sheba thinks as she struggles to catch her breath. But the name on the grave's headstone can't be denied - Felix's name is here, instead of by his door like it was supposed to be. She knows by now what it means when a grave appears on this floor, and perhaps she'd realized what had happened even before she arrived here. She'd turned on her heel and run all the way down from the dormitory levels (not stopping for anything or anyone, because the elevator was just too slow and she had to keep moving) as soon as she'd seen it, and why else would she come to the graveyard if some part of her hadn't accepted but felt the need to confirm that he was gone?
He can't be dead - she won't allow herself to believe that. But he's not here. Has his soul been sucked back to the ruins of Weyard, she wonders? Or maybe he found some way out, and the Administrators simply don't want the others to know.
But then why wouldn't he take me with him?
It's now, looking down at the grave, that she realizes she's taken him - and his kindness - for granted. Why hadn't she thanked him for what he'd done for her on Weyard when she had the chance? Why hadn't she tried to spend more time with him while he was here? She knows that sometimes the people whose graves appear here do return, but she also knows that's less likely to happen than him just staying gone is.
She takes a deep, shaky breath and sinks to her knees in front of the grave, her eyes locked on the name etched in the stone.]
You're really gone...
[She'll likely stay there for a long while, thinking in circles about what this means and what she has to do next, because a small part of her knows that it's no good to just stay here uselessly thinking about things she can't change, unless someone happens to find her there and interrupt her.]
[Around the tower - you pick the floor!]
[Sheba wishes she could say she was doing something more productive than just wandering, but, well - she can't, because she's not.
She's not really aware of where she is, though she is keeping an eye out for immediate dangers. Could she tell you what floor she's on? No. Could she tell you if there were monsters about to attack? Certainly, and she'd attack right back. She could use some outlet for her frustrations, even if her preferred attack brings back rather unpleasant memories.
You might see her sitting quietly, deep in thought; you might see her idly walking around the floor; you might see her coming up or down the stairs, or even waiting for - or waiting on - the elevator. Really, she's not picky about where she wanders to as long as it's not the dormitory levels or the graveyard; she doesn't want quite a potent reminder that her friend is gone.
Deep down, she knows she should start working on seeking out the people she wronged while her mind wasn't her own, but for the moment... she's just looking for any sort of distraction as she sorts out what her next move should be.]
[The Library - closed to Asch.]
[Enough time has passed for Sheba to get her head on straight - kind of.
She needs more information, and if prior experience here has taught her anything it's that after things like the last few days people tend to swarm the network with posts. She doesn't really want to see them face to face - even hearing peoples' voices aloud, with more than one or two people around her at once, reminds her of being unable to control the thoughts she could and couldn't hear - but she does need to figure out what it is that they know and how she can use it.
There's too many people on the dormitory levels. She doesn't want to hear them, even if they are just passing by. And besides, it's still too soon -
No, the library was better. People were quieter, and if it got overwhelming she could just move to a less crowded part or hide behind some shelves or even just grab a book, stick her nose in it, and make it abundantly clear that she wasn't really in the mood to talk.
She's on her way to one of the terminals when she spots it - a beanbag surrounded by stacks of books. Her footsteps, echoing faintly in the quiet of the library, slow; when she sees red hair they come to a stop entirely.
It's Asch. She knows she needs to apologize for what she did to him, and while she'd wandered around the last few days she'd thought of how to try to word that apology, but now that she's actually seen him the words die on her lips.
She clears her throat to get his attention, but keeps her distance. If he doesn't want anything to do with her right now, she can easily leave him alone. She's incredibly reluctant to force him to stay in her company after she'd given him no choice but to stand there while she killed him just a week or so before.]
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At the sound of a clearing throat, his head jerks up from the novel he's currently skimming through, a panicked expression on his face for a moment before he looks at the sound. Recognizing Sheba makes him a bit more relaxed, but not by much. Mostly, he seems uncertain, looking her up and down. He wonders if she's listening to his thoughts right now.
Finally, he marks his page and closes the book, folding it in his lap. His voice is as steady as he can make it, mostly by depriving it of all the emotion he can.]
You want to talk?
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How to say it? "I'm sorry" sounds too shallow, and it bothers her that she has an easier time of thinking of how to say "I'm sorry for killing you, I shouldn't have done that" to a stranger than she does thinking of how to say it to Asch. She supposes with a stranger, it's not as awful if they don't believe her apology is sincere. But she and Asch are friends - or at least she hopes they still are, after all that - and she wants him to honestly believe that she regrets the actions she took while her mind wasn't her own.
But how to make sure of that? If only he could look into her mind.
She bites her lip and brings a hand up to fiddle with her collar, dropping her gaze slightly. She should look him in the eye, she knows, but it's incredibly hard to do that when the last time she'd looked directly at him, she'd taken him by the hand and held him there and--
Just the memory makes her flinch.]
I... I betrayed your trust. I shouldn't have... [Let Jason get in my head like that.] I should have found some way to stop it from happening.
I didn't want to hurt you. [Or kill you.]
same icons forever
I know.
[And logically, he does. He knows that little voice - save yourself - was the real Sheba, that she didn't really want to hurt him.
Intellectually, he knows that. Emotionally, it's much harder to get a handle on.
Instead, he says - ]
If something like that ever happens again, where I'm trapped in my own body...
[It's hard to admit weakness. The hand that isn't holding the book balls into a fist. He doesn't have any right to ask, really, but the helplessness is still on him, still worming its way into his mind...]
Don't leave me alone.
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With her gaze down, she sees as Asch's hand clenches into a fist. She can see the strain that just saying the words puts on him, and - she doesn't like it.
So she takes a step towards him, then another; they're slow and careful, measured so that she can easily stop if he doesn't seem to want her to get close. If he makes no move to get her to stop, though, she eventually comes to the side of the beanbag and crouches down next to it. Her hand rests on the beanbag, a few inches away from his. She makes no move to take his hand because -
Last time she took his hand it was a prelude to killing him and she doesn't want that -
It brings back too many memories, and they're not at all good. If she's being honest, the scene's been replaying itself over and over again in her mind whenever she lets her thoughts stray for too long.]
I won't. I'll be here for... [She can't say as long as you need me, because you never know how much time you'll have with someone in this place. She could go to sleep with the intention of seeing him the next morning and wake up somewhere entirely different - or not wake up at all.] ...I'll be here.
That's a promise.
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[Especially when you know you can't keep them. There's no aggression in his words - he just sounds tired. He's dealt with too many broken promises in his time to want to accept another, no matter who offers it or how good their intent is.]
It's hard enough to stand by your words in a place like this as it is.
[He's not sure if she would know what he's referring to, but he doesn't elaborate. "I don't need saving" - they were easy words to hold to in the beginning of that week of hell, harder by the end. But they have a meaning, they're thunderbolts in his bones, and he can't - won't - go back on them.]
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Sorry for how late this is... OTL
Graveyard
..He's gone..but you know, he might come back. Or you may see each other again somewhere else.
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Maybe he will. I'm not sure whether or not I should hope for that, though... I'd like to see him again, someday. Maybe on our world, the way it was before all of... this.
[A moment or two passes, and she glances at chaos again.]
...did some of your friends vanish from here, too?
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Perhaps you will..if the universes manage to get restored, there may be a chance that you will be able to go home and see him.
[..Now, how to answer that question..]
Yes, a few have.
[Not that he was here to mourn them primarily.]
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[She's not going to think about the chance of seeing him again; it's almost too much to hope for, and if it never happens she's just going to be disappointed.]
I suppose all we can do is... make the most of what we have with the people who are left, right?
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[After all, while it's sad, and while it hurt, the fact that people were going to leave chaos was something he had known for quite a long time.]
Right..with the people who are left and with the time that remains.
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[The Graveyard]--Because Allen lost a friend, too
Sheba.
...I see. He was your friend too, wasn't he?
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Yes... he and I were from the same world. [It wasn't as if they were childhood friends or anything, but they'd been through so much together that it was a strange feeling not having him here now, made even stranger by the fact that Jenna and Piers aren't here, either. She hasn't really been on her own like this since Tolbi.] You shared a room with him here, didn't you... were you close?
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[He smiles a little bit. And it isn't bitter at all.]
I can't really say Felix and I really knew each other that well. We didn't really talk all that much. It's not like we were complete strangers, but we could hardly be considered friends.
[Pause.]
...not like that really matters. I still knew him well enough.
[Timcanpy fluttered down from Allen's head and towards Sheba. It looked as though it aimed to land on her somewhere.]
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Felix is a man of few words. I'm not surprised. He always means well, though…
[She reaches a hand up towards Timcanpy as it left Allen's head; rather than have it seek out a place to perch, she means to give it one.]
It's strange, isn't it? Knowing someone for such a short time but feeling their absence so strongly when they're gone. I wonder why that is.
…do you think he's safe out there, wherever he is?
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["Felix". That's all the tombstone says as Allen reads it.]
Well they're not here, that's all certain. I don't exactly know how one just disappears from this place--I know I would have by now--but death's nothing new, right? I know that from where I'm from, it's a guarantee he's in a better place.
[Tim lies itself down in Sheba's hands, almost tying them together with its grip.}
Sorry for lateness! Final exams are eating me alive.
As you've said. I also have cursed internet!
Eep. Not fun!
Not fun, indeed!
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are you feeling better?
Much better, thanks! c:
Horay!
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*fav sheba icon
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Aaaand fade out?
The curtain falls...
Floor 81 - Round Two
So when the elevator doors opened on the 81st floor and the young knight stepped out, what she'd been expecting to do was to walk over and spend some time looking out the window, lost in thought. At least that's what she'd expected to do. But fate apparently had other ideas tonight because it took Amelia about three seconds to notice the Adept sitting next to the window, in the same spot she'd been occupying the last time they'd met no less. And for a moment, just a brief moment, she entertains the thought of ducking back into the elevator before it can leave.
But no. Even though she has no clue what to say, no clue how to go about this, she's a knight. Knights don't run from their problems, so she takes a moment to steady herself before slowly walking towards Sheba, well aware that her armored boots make more than enough noise to give herself away before she says anything. And really, what the hell do you even say at a time like this? "Sorry I killed you, lets be friends"? She's never talked to somebody she's killed before, and for a moment all she can do is think back to that fight. To the moment she killed Sheba...
... she can't run from this. It's time to speak up and set things straight.]
... um, hi.
[Well that came out less "Proud knight" and more "Kicked puppy".]
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But then she realizes, and suddenly Amelia's words are loud in her ears. She turns to look.
Oh...
The expression on the Adept's face is a mixture of surprise and guilt as she takes in the sight of the young knight. It's very clear that though her mind and actions were not her own during their fight, she's still aware of what she did. She knows she attacked Amelia without provocation. She knows she could have very easily killed her, if Amelia hadn't been quick enough and smart enough to get to her first.]
Hello.
[There's a slight pause before the greeting; she can't decide whether or not to launch straight into an apology. Small talk doesn't really seem appropriate in this situation, though.]
Ah... I was going to come find you, later. [That's a good a beginning as any.] ...about what happened a few days ago, um...
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[This could be going worse. She's relieved to just see Sheba in front of her again, to know that she isn't really dead. Or at least dead dead... this place is screwing with her entire concept of death really. Furthermore she doesn't seem angry, actually she looks more guilty than anything else.
And that makes two of them.
Quietly Amelia shifts her weight from one leg to the other, fidgeting for a second before speaking back up. Time to get this over with.]
Look... I'm sorry about what happened back there, I... I couldn't think of any other way. [Because even if she regrets what happened immensely, she's not going to make excuses for what she did. She simply couldn't think of any other way and she had to act on the closest thing she had to a plan. Even if she still wishes there was something else she could have done.]
Sorry for lateness! Final exams are eating me alive.
[It's not okay. Sheba doesn't like dying, doesn't like the aftereffects of waking up from a death, and definitely doesn't like thinking back to what she knows happens to her body and soul every time she has a little mishap and ends up in the pile of corpses to be processed.]
I don't think there was any other way. I wasn't in control of my own mind then... I would have kept attacking you until one or both of us were dead.
I couldn't stop it... for that, I'm sorry.
S'okay! <3
[Despite everything that's happened, despite what they're talking about now... she can't help but manage a small, if slightly awkward smile. At the very least of all the people she's been forced to kill, this one doesn't have to weigh on her mind any longer.]
But I am glad to see you're ok now, I was worried that... I'd heard people don't stay dead here but that didn't stop me from worrying. [A lot.] And I'm really glad to see you're back to your normal self.
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Oh god sorry for the insanely slow tag this time. ._.
Floor 3 library
He didn't think he'd changed too much. His hope had shifted around and at times been buried, but it never left him. He always had hope in something. He supposed what he was really there for was Dax more than it was himself. Seeing all the signs he'd actually been trying his hardest to help.
He wondered if the Freemen pondered over the Prophecies of Ishtar this way after her death.
Finally, unable to take the sting of loss anymore, even if it wasn't as personal this time, he got up to stretch his legs, to wander aimlessly and clear his head. What he found was Sheba, wandering likewise.*
...It's been a difficult month.
Sorry for lateness! Final exams are eating me alive.
[If the sound of Enoch's voice had startled her, Sheba doesn't bother to show it. She just turns to look at him briefly before turning her attention to the bookshelves, idly scanning the titles visible on the spines.
She'll probably never have enough time to really read through everything in here, but... it certainly feels as if all the titles are blending together. She sighs heavily and looks back to Enoch again.]
Are you... alright, Enoch? You seem a little weary.
[But didn't they all, these days?]
It's okay! I'm slow too.
@_@
[Or at least, if not better, that they'll become used to it enough that they can keep going. It's not ideal, but it's better than the alternative.]
Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather not?
/patpat
*How horrifying Jason is without Dax to push him away from his worst. How he had to fight and kill a good friend.
It's strange that he feels so well, too, however.*
u_u
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