Sheba | Child of the Gods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
seekinganswers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-04-28 01:42 am
seekinganswers) wrote in towerofanimus2013-04-28 01:42 am
Entry tags:
009 ♃ the finger that you're pointing has knocked me on my knees
Characters: Sheba and you! And Sheba and Asch, too.
Setting: The graveyard and around the Tower in general for the open part; the third floor library for the closed part.
Format: Action to start, but I'll switch to prose if you want.
Summary: Backdated to a few days after the end of the Rebellion event. Sheba comes back to herself, and realizes that it's not exactly a pleasant place to be now that one of her close friends is gone and another of her close friends has died by her hand in the last few days.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death/body modifications, but hey... at least she's freaked out enough by the fact that she was able to hear everyone all at once during the event that the chances of her trying to read your character's mind are way downfor once?
[The graveyard.]
[It has to be a lie, Sheba thinks as she struggles to catch her breath. But the name on the grave's headstone can't be denied - Felix's name is here, instead of by his door like it was supposed to be. She knows by now what it means when a grave appears on this floor, and perhaps she'd realized what had happened even before she arrived here. She'd turned on her heel and run all the way down from the dormitory levels (not stopping for anything or anyone, because the elevator was just too slow and she had to keep moving) as soon as she'd seen it, and why else would she come to the graveyard if some part of her hadn't accepted but felt the need to confirm that he was gone?
He can't be dead - she won't allow herself to believe that. But he's not here. Has his soul been sucked back to the ruins of Weyard, she wonders? Or maybe he found some way out, and the Administrators simply don't want the others to know.
But then why wouldn't he take me with him?
It's now, looking down at the grave, that she realizes she's taken him - and his kindness - for granted. Why hadn't she thanked him for what he'd done for her on Weyard when she had the chance? Why hadn't she tried to spend more time with him while he was here? She knows that sometimes the people whose graves appear here do return, but she also knows that's less likely to happen than him just staying gone is.
She takes a deep, shaky breath and sinks to her knees in front of the grave, her eyes locked on the name etched in the stone.]
You're really gone...
[She'll likely stay there for a long while, thinking in circles about what this means and what she has to do next, because a small part of her knows that it's no good to just stay here uselessly thinking about things she can't change, unless someone happens to find her there and interrupt her.]
[Around the tower - you pick the floor!]
[Sheba wishes she could say she was doing something more productive than just wandering, but, well - she can't, because she's not.
She's not really aware of where she is, though she is keeping an eye out for immediate dangers. Could she tell you what floor she's on? No. Could she tell you if there were monsters about to attack? Certainly, and she'd attack right back. She could use some outlet for her frustrations, even if her preferred attack brings back rather unpleasant memories.
You might see her sitting quietly, deep in thought; you might see her idly walking around the floor; you might see her coming up or down the stairs, or even waiting for - or waiting on - the elevator. Really, she's not picky about where she wanders to as long as it's not the dormitory levels or the graveyard; she doesn't want quite a potent reminder that her friend is gone.
Deep down, she knows she should start working on seeking out the people she wronged while her mind wasn't her own, but for the moment... she's just looking for any sort of distraction as she sorts out what her next move should be.]
[The Library - closed to Asch.]
[Enough time has passed for Sheba to get her head on straight - kind of.
She needs more information, and if prior experience here has taught her anything it's that after things like the last few days people tend to swarm the network with posts. She doesn't really want to see them face to face - even hearing peoples' voices aloud, with more than one or two people around her at once, reminds her of being unable to control the thoughts she could and couldn't hear - but she does need to figure out what it is that they know and how she can use it.
There's too many people on the dormitory levels. She doesn't want to hear them, even if they are just passing by. And besides, it's still too soon -
No, the library was better. People were quieter, and if it got overwhelming she could just move to a less crowded part or hide behind some shelves or even just grab a book, stick her nose in it, and make it abundantly clear that she wasn't really in the mood to talk.
She's on her way to one of the terminals when she spots it - a beanbag surrounded by stacks of books. Her footsteps, echoing faintly in the quiet of the library, slow; when she sees red hair they come to a stop entirely.
It's Asch. She knows she needs to apologize for what she did to him, and while she'd wandered around the last few days she'd thought of how to try to word that apology, but now that she's actually seen him the words die on her lips.
She clears her throat to get his attention, but keeps her distance. If he doesn't want anything to do with her right now, she can easily leave him alone. She's incredibly reluctant to force him to stay in her company after she'd given him no choice but to stand there while she killed him just a week or so before.]
Setting: The graveyard and around the Tower in general for the open part; the third floor library for the closed part.
Format: Action to start, but I'll switch to prose if you want.
Summary: Backdated to a few days after the end of the Rebellion event. Sheba comes back to herself, and realizes that it's not exactly a pleasant place to be now that one of her close friends is gone and another of her close friends has died by her hand in the last few days.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death/body modifications, but hey... at least she's freaked out enough by the fact that she was able to hear everyone all at once during the event that the chances of her trying to read your character's mind are way down
[The graveyard.]
[It has to be a lie, Sheba thinks as she struggles to catch her breath. But the name on the grave's headstone can't be denied - Felix's name is here, instead of by his door like it was supposed to be. She knows by now what it means when a grave appears on this floor, and perhaps she'd realized what had happened even before she arrived here. She'd turned on her heel and run all the way down from the dormitory levels (not stopping for anything or anyone, because the elevator was just too slow and she had to keep moving) as soon as she'd seen it, and why else would she come to the graveyard if some part of her hadn't accepted but felt the need to confirm that he was gone?
He can't be dead - she won't allow herself to believe that. But he's not here. Has his soul been sucked back to the ruins of Weyard, she wonders? Or maybe he found some way out, and the Administrators simply don't want the others to know.
But then why wouldn't he take me with him?
It's now, looking down at the grave, that she realizes she's taken him - and his kindness - for granted. Why hadn't she thanked him for what he'd done for her on Weyard when she had the chance? Why hadn't she tried to spend more time with him while he was here? She knows that sometimes the people whose graves appear here do return, but she also knows that's less likely to happen than him just staying gone is.
She takes a deep, shaky breath and sinks to her knees in front of the grave, her eyes locked on the name etched in the stone.]
You're really gone...
[She'll likely stay there for a long while, thinking in circles about what this means and what she has to do next, because a small part of her knows that it's no good to just stay here uselessly thinking about things she can't change, unless someone happens to find her there and interrupt her.]
[Around the tower - you pick the floor!]
[Sheba wishes she could say she was doing something more productive than just wandering, but, well - she can't, because she's not.
She's not really aware of where she is, though she is keeping an eye out for immediate dangers. Could she tell you what floor she's on? No. Could she tell you if there were monsters about to attack? Certainly, and she'd attack right back. She could use some outlet for her frustrations, even if her preferred attack brings back rather unpleasant memories.
You might see her sitting quietly, deep in thought; you might see her idly walking around the floor; you might see her coming up or down the stairs, or even waiting for - or waiting on - the elevator. Really, she's not picky about where she wanders to as long as it's not the dormitory levels or the graveyard; she doesn't want quite a potent reminder that her friend is gone.
Deep down, she knows she should start working on seeking out the people she wronged while her mind wasn't her own, but for the moment... she's just looking for any sort of distraction as she sorts out what her next move should be.]
[The Library - closed to Asch.]
[Enough time has passed for Sheba to get her head on straight - kind of.
She needs more information, and if prior experience here has taught her anything it's that after things like the last few days people tend to swarm the network with posts. She doesn't really want to see them face to face - even hearing peoples' voices aloud, with more than one or two people around her at once, reminds her of being unable to control the thoughts she could and couldn't hear - but she does need to figure out what it is that they know and how she can use it.
There's too many people on the dormitory levels. She doesn't want to hear them, even if they are just passing by. And besides, it's still too soon -
No, the library was better. People were quieter, and if it got overwhelming she could just move to a less crowded part or hide behind some shelves or even just grab a book, stick her nose in it, and make it abundantly clear that she wasn't really in the mood to talk.
She's on her way to one of the terminals when she spots it - a beanbag surrounded by stacks of books. Her footsteps, echoing faintly in the quiet of the library, slow; when she sees red hair they come to a stop entirely.
It's Asch. She knows she needs to apologize for what she did to him, and while she'd wandered around the last few days she'd thought of how to try to word that apology, but now that she's actually seen him the words die on her lips.
She clears her throat to get his attention, but keeps her distance. If he doesn't want anything to do with her right now, she can easily leave him alone. She's incredibly reluctant to force him to stay in her company after she'd given him no choice but to stand there while she killed him just a week or so before.]
no subject
[Her voice trails off as she watches him settle into the beanbag, and her brows knit together in concern at his next words. Things certainly had a way of going from bad to worse in this place... her gaze wanders away from Asch as she thinks about that, and lingers on the stacks of books.]
It... looks like you've been here for awhile. [Unless he was really that fast a reader, but somehow, she didn't think that was true. Something occurs to her, and she struggles with whether or not to ask for a moment or two.
Finally, she decides to just bite the bullet.]
Have you been down here alone the whole time, since everyone's modifications were reversed?
no subject
Other than to sleep.
[So, yes. He's hiding, just a bit, letting people seek him out if they want to talk to him instead of approaching them himself. He feels safer that way; even acknowledging that he doesn't know most of them beyond recognizing a face in the hallways, the Tower has more people in it than he's ever had to deal with on a regular basis before. Isolation isn't foreign to him; it's a way to get his head together.
Or at least that's what he's been telling himself. The books he's been losing himself in say otherwise.]
no subject
Why?
[She reaches for one of the stacks of books and pulls the top one off, opening it long enough to glance at the pages before she looks back to him to meet his eyes - that is, if he doesn't avoid her gaze.]
It's not very easy for people to find you back here.
[Then something occurs to her, and her expression softens.]
...unless... was that the point?
no subject
Is it that surprising?
[He pulls his hands into his lap and folds them like he doesn't know what to do with them.]
With everything that happened...
[Sheba's actions weren't the worst. If he stops to think about it too long, he can almost hear the ringing in his bones again, feel the blood dripping from his ears.]
...It's not just you.
[That's all he can actually bring himself to say about it.]
no subject
[The "It's not just you" gives her pause. How frightening it must have been - to have been trapped in his own mind like that. To not be able to do anything more than watch as other people decided his fate.
She could confirm it, but she doesn't. There will be no telltale nudge to the back of his mind this time, because his private thoughts are just that - private.]
Asch...
[She reaches up to rest her hand on his forearm for a moment or two. He didn't have to speak of it; she wouldn't make him. But she would be here.]
Have you at least been eating well? You need to keep your strength up. [Because if past experience here has taught her anything, it's that when it rains in the Tower of Animus, it pours.] And it might be good to get some fresh air one one of the outdoor floors. We can go together, if you want.
no subject
Not really. I don't get lonely often.
[Not since he was a little kid, at least. And even then he was fairly comfortable spending his afternoons at the manor alone.]
And I've been eating fine.
[This with a slight gesture towards an empty plate on the top of one of the stacks - there's still from crumbs of nutrition bars left on it. Sure, he's been eating. Not cooking like he normally does, but eating, yeah, he's been doing that okay. It all kind of tastes the same right now anyway.]
no subject
[The question could apply to both of his statements, but Sheba doesn't clarify which she's asking about. Perhaps that's why she doesn't clarify - so that Asch can choose which one he'd rather continue thinking about.
She turns her head towards the empty plate when he gestures at it, and the sight of it does make her raise an eyebrow. If he's been holed up in here then of course he wouldn't have the opportunity to hunt or cook...]
...do you mind if I ask... how long are you intending to keep spending all your time here?
no subject
Guy and Natalia were the only people within five years of my age at the manor, and all three of us were busy with our duties most of the time. And then in the Oracle Knights, I was even more isolated.
[A princess, her intended, and their servant - it wasn't a terrible way to grow up, but it probably would seem lonely and stifling to anyone who'd had the chance to have a larger social circle.
In response to her other question, he leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees.]
I don't really know.
no subject
[She supposes that would make being alone here easier to manage, but - she still finds it a little strange. Even in the manor, there would have been some people around; in the Oracle Knights, there would have been the other God-Generals and their subordinates; and here in the Tower, he'd spent the last few months around so many people...
Sheba had spent a long time alone - in Tolbi, and even in Lalivero before that, since people tended to treat her with reverence rather than friendship - but she'd never really grown used to it. Maybe Asch stronger than she was.
...or maybe he was just better at lying to himself.]
But, you don't have to be isolated here, Asch. And there are probably plenty of people who will be worried if they don't see you soon... because they care about your well-being.
[She sighs.]
I'm not going to say, "Go see them right now." But... [How to word this...] ...you never really know how much time you're going to have with someone. Especially with the way people can vanish from here at any time. [At this, her expression flickers and she has to look down.] ...just be sure you don't spend so much time alone that you miss out on spending time with them, okay?
no subject
Being without a guidepost to point him in the right direction - he won't admit to being scared of it, but it does make him nervous.]
If they're that worried, it's not like I've made myself impossible to get a hold of.
[If worst comes to worst, someone could always come by his room and wait. He's checked his mailbox a few times, too.]
I doubt I'm that missed, anyway.
no subject
[There was plenty about Asch that would be missed.
And he doesn't really give his friends enough credit, either - sometimes, from the way he speaks, Sheba thinks he's of the opinion that they could give up on him entirely at any point in time. She knows he's got reason enough to be distrustful, given his experiences on Auldrant, but still-!
It's a little sad that he has such a hard time seeing the good things about himself, she thinks.]
Just because they haven't come to find you yet, doesn't mean they don't care. You haven't gone to find them but you still care about them, right? ...it's just really hard to people sometimes after... these sorts of things. No matter which side of it you're on.
...sorry. I don't mean to lecture you, or overstep my boundaries or anything like that. I'm just worried.
no subject
Maybe not.
[It's not exactly easy to get over being told for most of your life that you're not valuable as a person, though. Like a lot of other deeply embedded beliefs, it's hard to accept being wrong for so long.]
You're not lecturing. I just don't know what to do about it.
[Hard to admit that, too.]
Sorry for how late this is... OTL
But... that's alright. It takes time, and... [She manages a small grin.] If it comes down to it, I'll just have to give you the credit you don't give yourself. Right?
[The grin fades away pretty quickly, though, and it's replaced by a thoughtful - if still worried - expression. Sheba's brows furrow and she crosses her arms, idly toying with the hem of one of her sleeves.]
Maybe, after a day or two... or a little more time, if you need it... you should try taking the first step to reach out to one of them. They could be feeling just as lost as you are, right now. I think it will be good for all of you to see that you're not alone.