Kain Highwind (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ajealouswind) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-05-06 12:16 am
ajealouswind) wrote in towerofanimus2013-05-06 12:16 am
03 - Dusk, Night, and Dawn
Characters: Kain Highwind and OPEN
Setting: Infirmary, Library, and Dorms
Format: Prose to start, will follow whichever you prefer.
Summary: A brooding dragoon can only brood for so long, even if he has to be dragged away from it. Kain has apologies to deliver, and has built up the will to do so. Hopefully.
Warnings: None yet
Infirmary - Orange Collar Checkup
Kain had been having some exceptionally good bleak thoughts, up on that floor with the mountains and the snow and the wind, when suddenly he found himself being assaulted by units. Oh, yes, of course, he had fought back. But he had only gotten one good jump attack in before one unit somehow knocked him clear out cold. How, exactly, he wasn't sure. But he was awake now, in an uncomfortable chair, dazed and irritated. To add insult to injury, they had not only snapped his latest spear in half, they had left the pieces next to him, propped against his seat.
Had he really been doing this for so long? Had he truly lost such track of time? Well, now he knew what they did when you didn't show up for an appointment. But never the less, though they could take him from his mountain, they couldn't take away his right to brood. And brood he did, helm in his lap, scowl on his face, eager to simply be done with this.
---
Library - At A Terminal
At least there was one benefit to that forcible check-up. It had gotten him down to the lower levels of the tower without much danger. Which meant that he could have a proper breakfast, and spend a little more time familiarizing himself with the terminals. It was important, after all. He had been learning quite a bit. He had even figured out that if you held down that one big key, you could type with capital letters. Fantastic, that.
He had also been learning that he wasn't the only one to be feeling such guilt. Oh, he knew that he had not been the only one altered in his way. They had collaborated, or at least intended to. But their grief, their self-loathing, their desperate need to apologize to those they cared about... so many of them had poured that out on the network, and left a record of it for all to see. For him to see. It was an ocean of sorrow, and he was but a drop in it.
So he ate pancakes and drank tea, and re-read old messages, and checked for new ones. Betrayers, all of us. If we share the guilt, is it lessened?
---
Dorms, Room 03-01 - Late Night (Locked to Cecil Harvey)
He had spent one final day in silence and avoidance... but enough was enough. What use was penance if it did not fix anything? He was still broken, he still felt broken, profoundly so... but he should not wound others because of it.
He should not hurt Cecil any more than he already has.
And so he comes to the door of her door room, knocks once, and attempts to call her name. It doesn't come. His throat constricts, his mouth is dry. I should leave. What if she isn't in? Then I tried. I'll leave. A few more seconds, and I'll leave.
Setting: Infirmary, Library, and Dorms
Format: Prose to start, will follow whichever you prefer.
Summary: A brooding dragoon can only brood for so long, even if he has to be dragged away from it. Kain has apologies to deliver, and has built up the will to do so. Hopefully.
Warnings: None yet
Infirmary - Orange Collar Checkup
Kain had been having some exceptionally good bleak thoughts, up on that floor with the mountains and the snow and the wind, when suddenly he found himself being assaulted by units. Oh, yes, of course, he had fought back. But he had only gotten one good jump attack in before one unit somehow knocked him clear out cold. How, exactly, he wasn't sure. But he was awake now, in an uncomfortable chair, dazed and irritated. To add insult to injury, they had not only snapped his latest spear in half, they had left the pieces next to him, propped against his seat.
Had he really been doing this for so long? Had he truly lost such track of time? Well, now he knew what they did when you didn't show up for an appointment. But never the less, though they could take him from his mountain, they couldn't take away his right to brood. And brood he did, helm in his lap, scowl on his face, eager to simply be done with this.
---
Library - At A Terminal
At least there was one benefit to that forcible check-up. It had gotten him down to the lower levels of the tower without much danger. Which meant that he could have a proper breakfast, and spend a little more time familiarizing himself with the terminals. It was important, after all. He had been learning quite a bit. He had even figured out that if you held down that one big key, you could type with capital letters. Fantastic, that.
He had also been learning that he wasn't the only one to be feeling such guilt. Oh, he knew that he had not been the only one altered in his way. They had collaborated, or at least intended to. But their grief, their self-loathing, their desperate need to apologize to those they cared about... so many of them had poured that out on the network, and left a record of it for all to see. For him to see. It was an ocean of sorrow, and he was but a drop in it.
So he ate pancakes and drank tea, and re-read old messages, and checked for new ones. Betrayers, all of us. If we share the guilt, is it lessened?
---
Dorms, Room 03-01 - Late Night (Locked to Cecil Harvey)
He had spent one final day in silence and avoidance... but enough was enough. What use was penance if it did not fix anything? He was still broken, he still felt broken, profoundly so... but he should not wound others because of it.
He should not hurt Cecil any more than he already has.
And so he comes to the door of her door room, knocks once, and attempts to call her name. It doesn't come. His throat constricts, his mouth is dry. I should leave. What if she isn't in? Then I tried. I'll leave. A few more seconds, and I'll leave.
2/2
Don't fall? Have you forgotten? Last I checked, even Dragoons weren't above the general laws of physics.
[Well-- Not entirely, anyway. But that's not exactly her point. Give her a moment, she's getting there.]
Everrrryone falls, Kain. It doesn't matter who they are, what they're doing or who they're trrrying to protect. It's impossible not to. The important bit is that you've got the balls to stand back up afterwards. Do you really think this girl would be better off without you? Hell, you think your friends would be better off if you just vanished? Gave up because things were tough? Or have you forgotten that this hell isn't just your own? If you think this is solely your "punishment" alone, then you're sorrrely mistaken. Everyone in this hellhole of a prison is being torturred - to place the blame of this past week on yourself is damning. Not just for you, but for everryone you hold dear.
[She reaches over to place a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him]
What happened to you is not a sign of weakness. Get upset, get angry, yeah, but stop pointing that damned fury at yourrrself like some sort of weapon and instead use it as a means of focus. You AREN'T the enemy here, dumbass! It's THEM. And if you're tired of getting drrragged around like their puppet, giving up on your friends isn't going to make things any easier. The fact that we're all stuck in this place together with those demons is dangerous, but remember that you aren't the cause of this madness. It's them. So blame the Administrrrators if you'rre going to blame anyone, and for the sake of any and ALL the gods out there, don't push your frriends away! I don't care what happened or what's going to happen. They need you. We need you.
[She's serious. Moreso than she's been. Look, you've got her tail standing straight.]
So just stop. Stop. Shut up. And eat yourrr damned pancakes.
no subject
Her hand is not shrugged away, but he remains quite tense and stiff.]
I have sometimes wondered if they would have had far fewer difficulties without me.
[But he was there. And he was here. And 'that girl' was... was Cecil better off without him?
He was finally beginning to doubt that. Up came his hand, to gently remove Mihli's from his shoulder. And he managed a smile.]
...I will stop. I will. But I'm done with pancakes. For if she's not better off without me, I've kept her waiting entirely too long.
no subject
Go get 'er then.