You'll turn into a gargoyle at this rate

[puppy_lancer]

Characters: ProtoLancer puppy_lancer and Zero Lancer oathshackledbird; closed
Setting: Graveyard floor
Format: Prose
Summary: Lancer spent the entire event bumming on the graveyard floor. Time for someone to find him.
Warnings: Angsting, maybe

Lancer had lost track of time as he sat by Ayaka's grave. His days were filled with sitting there staring off into the distance and fighting off the occasional monster. His clothes were torn and his body covered in healing wounds. Maybe he would be able to sit here for the rest of his stay at the tower. Maybe some point some monster would catch him too cut up and exhausted to resist and kill him. He doesn't mind either. He doesn't care. He's just a failed Servant who shouldn't exist anymore, so anything that happens to him doesn't matter.

Now and then, a thought of his brother or his friends enters into the void that is his mind and he almost wants to leave his position to go and find them. But every time, he pushes the impulse away. They all have their own friends or Masters to keep them company. And he shouldn't bother them with comforting him. He can deal with his own failures.

And so he just sits there, immobile.

Comments

[oathshackledbird]

"That is the thing. Absolutely nothing as far as I could tell," Diarmuid leans against the edge of the bed so he can still talk to his brother while the man settles in to sleep. "It wasn't even one of those odd ones you sometimes see that are completely white with red eyes. Though, I suppose I should add that Oscar had been drinking a lot that night. A lady give us a few bottles to take us as a reward for helping her out with a few things as we passed by. He was determined not to share with anyone else..."

[puppy_lancer]

Lancer shuts his eys.

"He deserves some trouble then. Everyone knows you don't hog a drink when someone else asks."

[oathshackledbird]

Diarmuid laughs, "Well, in his defense I didn't actually ask for any. It would have been nice to have a sip or two, but it was no big deal. He knew I didn't drink that much and it was good. I couldn't really be mad at him. Besides, seeing him trying to hide behind a rock from that rabbit wouldn't have been anywhere nearly as funny as it was if I had been drunk. He kept cursing at it and it just sat there and wiggled its nose at him.

"'It's casting a spell on me, Little Hawk! Stop standing there laughing and do something!'" Diarmuid shakes his head, a wide grin on his face. "Oh Oscar. If your father had seen you that night, the story he would have told."

[puppy_lancer]

Lancer bursts out laughing again.

"How does a rabbit curse you? It can't even speak!"

[oathshackledbird]

"Apparently through some complex sequence that involves a lot of nose twitching and ear scratching," Diarmuid gives his brother a mock serious look. "It is very complex and very scary....all that nose wiggling and ear scratching. Does terrible, terrible things to a man. According to Oscar anyway."

[puppy_lancer]

"Oh yes, I can see how he'd be scared."

Lancer's tone is every last bit as mock-serious.

"Next time I run out of ways to flip people off, I'll scratch my ears at them and send them running."

[oathshackledbird]

"Don't forget to wiggle your nose too. That is a very important part of all of it, the nose wiggling," Diarmuid shakes his head and then reaches out and squeezes his brother's shoulder. "I'm sorry. As fun as this story is, I don't know that it is helping you sleep any. Shall I try another?"

[puppy_lancer]

He pouts.

"Alright then. Tell me another one. But can it still be a happy one?"

[oathshackledbird]

"No pouting!" He bops his brother on the nose. "You are suppose to be going to sleep. Maybe instead of a story, I should sing for you. You will fall asleep in no time just to avoid the awful screeching."

He winks to show he's kidding. Mostly.

[puppy_lancer]

"Well...your songs are beautiful too."

He scratches at his nose.

"Hey, can you tell me a story about you and your wife? You should have some funny ones about her, right? It can be a really short one."

[oathshackledbird]

"About me and Grainne? I guess I could..." Diarmuid seems slightly confused at the request and maybe a little...reluctant? "Are you sure you really want to hear about us? I could tell you about her trying to teach our daughter stuff. That would probably be more exciting."

[puppy_lancer]

"Nah, I wanna hear about the two of you. You don't talk about her much. Not as much as you do your kids."

Mostly there's one thing he's curious about now that he thinks of it. That one story he looked up in the Celtic mythology book about the knife in someone's leg...

[oathshackledbird]

"I..know..." Oddly enough, Diarmuid's hand drops to unconsciously rub at a spot on his thigh.

Notice that Cu Chulainn?

"Do you want a story from the time when we were running...or afterward once we were able to settle down?"

[puppy_lancer]

He notices it, and he snickers.

"Oh, definitely from the time you were running. There must have been some funny stories from that time."

[oathshackledbird]

"What is so funny? We were running for our lives, you know. That doesn't leave a lot of time for fun!" Diarmuid's eyes drift to where his brother is watching his hand and then he suddenly pulls his hand away, blushing slightly. "If you have something specific you want to ask about that time, just ask it. Stop dancing around the point."

[puppy_lancer]

"...Alright, wasn't there a story where she stabbed you? What did you ever do to warrant that?"

There, he's asking directly.

[oathshackledbird]

"I told her the thing no woman wants to hear. I told her no," Diarmuid sighs, looking blankly at the wall across from him as he speaks. "It is more complex than that, of course. One night during our flight we met with a man during a great storm. While we all waited out the storm, he and I played a game. He got the better of me and wished to take Grainne as his prize. When he took her up to leave with her and I moved to stop him, she struck out at me bemoaning that even though we had been together so long I had not even touched her as much as this man had now," he pauses, anger clouding his eyes. "She was my lord's betrothed. Of course, I had not touched her. She made me give up everything for her love and she dared strike me over a man she had just met? How very fickle the love that stripped me of everything I ever had!

"I slay the man in my anger, something I should not have done since it was not his fault he was caught up in this strange dance between she and I. Then, without bothering to remove the knife from my thigh, I left her in the cave we had been sheltering in. When she caught up to me and we talked, I pointed out to her why I was so angered. How much it hurt she would so easily defend another after all she forced me to give up. As usual, she didn't seem to understand my words. It was not until she asked for her blade so she could prepare a meal for us and I pointed out that her knife was still in the sheath where she last placed it that she seemed to realize what she had done. I suppose seeing that mark of violence against the form she so claimed to love finally made her understand."

Here Diarmuid pauses again and looks toward his brother, "I don't know what pointed you toward that part of my story. Did whatever it was make the whole event seem humorous? Or like I was being clever? It felt none of those things at the time. I merely wished her to understand me. And she did...finally." He shifts his gaze away, back toward the wall and when he speaks again, his voice is soft, "I suppose that is why I finally gave into her advances that night. She understood. If the love could never be real because of my curse, at least she finally understood."

[puppy_lancer]

As he listens, the smile falls off of Lancer's face. Of course, when he had come upon that story at first, it seemed to be hilarious. The fact that Diarmuid had just let Grainne stick a knife in him. But hearing it from Diarmuid's mouth makes him realize that it was a serious story. A sad one too.

His legs still feel numb, but he sits up and, gripping the side of the bed, hops out. He winces as he lands, but doesn't make a noise.

"...Sorry. I didn't know it was like that."

While Diarmuid still has his back turned, Lancer reaches out to hug him, even though he trips so it turns into a tackle instead.

[oathshackledbird]

"It's..." Whatever Diarmuid is going to say is cut off as his brother hugs him and then stumbles sending them both to the ground next to the bed. Once his surprise at the sudden fall passes, Diarmuid looks back at his brother, "What are you doing? You're suppose to be resting!"

[puppy_lancer]

"I'm apologizing."

He scoots away from Diarmuid.

"Sorry for making you tell that story. The book just made it sound funny."

He rubs at his ankle.

"But, hey, at least I can feel my legs now."

[oathshackledbird]

Diarmuid shakes his head, "You don't need to apologize. I am sure the stories did make it sound that way. I remember a story about you getting your head shaved that seemed pretty funny, but I doubt it was funny at all to you when it happened. Besides, our stories aren't exactly the happiest ones. Can you blame people for trying to lighten them up a little?"

He stands up and moves over to his brother's side, offering a hand to help him to his feet, "I'm glad the feeling is coming back. You still need to get some sleep so that your energy can fully replenish itself, though."

[puppy_lancer]

He laughs nervously.

"Ah...that might be funny to you and everyone else, but it was just embarrassing for me. Cu Roi could throw the worst fit over a woman who didn't even love him."

He runs a hand through his hair.

"And you know, Ferdiad and Connla went for the hair too. It's like they took offense to me having hair or something."

He takes Diarmuid's hand and slowly stands up.

"Do I need to sleep? I can do well enough just lying down."

[oathshackledbird]

Diarmuid gives his brother an odd look. He had been about to make a joke about the fact that they were obviously just jealous of his nice hair, but Cu Chulainn's last words distract him from that.

"Brother, why are you afraid of going to sleep? Are you nightmares becoming worse again?"

[puppy_lancer]

He freezes in his steps and stares at Diarmuid.

"Well...uh...I dunno. I haven't tried sleeping since Ayaka left, so..."

He laughs nervously again.

"Um...maybe. I guess. It could happen because I'd have something to dream about, but..."

[oathshackledbird]

Diarmuid gives him a gentle look and then ruffles his hair, "What about this? Often it seems like we dream about whatever we are thinking about when we go to sleep. Think of me telling you silly stories about my past or singing you songs. That would likely bring on better dreams than thinking about how sad you are Ayaka was taken again, right?"

Eventually his brother will have to probably dream about those sadder things especially since their dreams seem to be less dreams and more processing memories of things that have happened to them, but it doesn't have to be now. Not when there are other things he can try to focus on.