Suzaku Kururugi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordofzero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-07-05 10:52 pm
swordofzero) wrote in towerofanimus2013-07-05 10:52 pm
Backdated to July 1st and onwards
Characters: Suzaku Kururugi and open
Setting: Morgue floor. Right after event ends
Format: I'll match
Summary: Suzaku wakes up post monster event and angst happens
Warnings: mentions of event stuff.
Suzaku didn't need words of blood to tell him he was a monster, but he got them anyways. He lay still for a moment as his fake memories of protecting those in the tower, standing with them against Ruana's latest threat were replaced by the truth, memories of stalking to the tower, attacking, killing, being killed by those around him.
He sat up, wanting to get out of the room, away from people he could hurt. He saw the note and the object... F.L.E.I.J.A, or at least the trigger. Not the one he had used, but the one Nunnally had...
He didn't even read the note just snatched up the decorative button and strode from the room. He had kept his feelings at bay all month, holding them back because one thing or another had been more important. But now they flooded into him at once, the reality of their situation, the uselessness of everything, killing Rolo for being what he had been himself...
Killing, causing others to kill, causing rage and anger. And now as the final insult he held an object that was the symbol of oppression and death. Oppression and death he had taken part in.
Even though it was as fake as anything else the reminder was enough and he moved through the tower until he got to the morgue. He didn't even think of the white room, he didn't deserve to forget. He had spent a month forgetting.
Now he had to face what he had done, what he had become. The morgue was a familiar place of refuge and he found a quiet place far from the staircase.
He stayed there for a long time, not planning to leave until his Geass forced him to find food. His Geass might be as unreal as the rest of him but it still held power over him.
Setting: Morgue floor. Right after event ends
Format: I'll match
Summary: Suzaku wakes up post monster event and angst happens
Warnings: mentions of event stuff.
Suzaku didn't need words of blood to tell him he was a monster, but he got them anyways. He lay still for a moment as his fake memories of protecting those in the tower, standing with them against Ruana's latest threat were replaced by the truth, memories of stalking to the tower, attacking, killing, being killed by those around him.
He sat up, wanting to get out of the room, away from people he could hurt. He saw the note and the object... F.L.E.I.J.A, or at least the trigger. Not the one he had used, but the one Nunnally had...
He didn't even read the note just snatched up the decorative button and strode from the room. He had kept his feelings at bay all month, holding them back because one thing or another had been more important. But now they flooded into him at once, the reality of their situation, the uselessness of everything, killing Rolo for being what he had been himself...
Killing, causing others to kill, causing rage and anger. And now as the final insult he held an object that was the symbol of oppression and death. Oppression and death he had taken part in.
Even though it was as fake as anything else the reminder was enough and he moved through the tower until he got to the morgue. He didn't even think of the white room, he didn't deserve to forget. He had spent a month forgetting.
Now he had to face what he had done, what he had become. The morgue was a familiar place of refuge and he found a quiet place far from the staircase.
He stayed there for a long time, not planning to leave until his Geass forced him to find food. His Geass might be as unreal as the rest of him but it still held power over him.
no subject
As he walks, he holds his amputated left arm with his right hand, an old habit of his, though he had to move his grip up further after losing half his arm.
He moves through the floor quietly, cautiously, then starts when he belatedly realizes there's someone else here with him. "I'm sorry. I didn't see you there."
no subject
"I'm so sorry."
Shinji would probably threaten him for apologising again, but despite the fact Suzaku knew he hadn't been in control he still felt responsible.
no subject
no subject
"I meant... Your arm, I was the one..."
no subject
He smiled. "No, it's all right. It wasn't your fault. You weren't yourself."
He paused, his smile fading. "I'm sorry that was done to you."
no subject
"I hope you understand that I would never hurt him as myself."