His passing thoughts and his sorrows and desires

[wegotlucky]

Characters: Neal Cassidy, OPEN
Setting: Floor 81
Format: Starting out prose. Will match
Summary: Neal contemplates what to do with the "gift" he was given at the end of June.
Warnings: None to start.


It had been a while since Neal had last found himself venturing around the Tower. The memories of June had left him wanting to avoid as many people as possible, and he had found himself struggling to sleep in his bed with the words scrawled on the ceiling. Nothing was safe anymore, and as far as he knew, things could possibly get even worse. His "gift"  from Ruana, Rumplestiltskin's magic dagger, was strapped to his side, hidden away from prying eyes.

He didn't plan on using it as a weapon, but he couldn't be too careful. Why would such an object be given to him? It was meant to torture him, Neal was certain. He had killed a child. He had killed someone he cared about, and he had attacked, he murdered a sleeping man, and killed one of the most threatening people in the tower. His life was a wreck, and he had only admitted what he had been to the little girl and to Zelda. He didn't want to admit it to anyone else.

Maybe Shion, eventually. But he was afraid what might happen to him if he got too involved in things. He needed to  protect himself, but he also couldn't stand back and do nothing, could he? He looked out below, staring into the haze. Pandora was something that he could do, wasn't it? He had spent his entire life running away from his problems. He had  been running for a long, long time. Longer than he could comprehend. He had been brought here for a reason. Probably to be useful to Ruana's sick and twisted games.

He might not have a clue how to stop running, but now was good enough as any to try.

Comments

[wegotlucky]

Fortunately for Wriggle, Neal remembered the the promise he had made with the girl. "Hey there," he said, turning away from the haze that was the only thing visible from the windows.

Upon being kicked, he doubled over, rubbing at his legs. "Ouch," he said, though he managed to appear pretty good natured over the whole thing. He couldn't be angry at her. He had done something awful to her, even if he hadn't been aware of his actions. It was only fair that she got her revenge and that it had been a pretty simple one, all things considered.

He could deal with that. "You've got a good kick, there."

[wrigurun]

She gave a smug smile, put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest.
"I've been practicing," Wriggle boasted. Now that that was done she let her shoulders relax and her smile became a lot more friendly.

"So, did you find that guy in the end? Did he help?" she asked. Even though her promise had originally been to only kick him if Neal's acquaintance hadn't helped but somehow it turned into an afterthought.

[wegotlucky]

Neal nodded. He couldn't be angry at her. He had done something horrible to her, but she didn't seem angry with him. He was grateful for that, even if his legs were still aching a bit. "Yeah. He did," he said quietly. Though he would never outright state it to Wriggle, at least not until they got closer, Neal was grateful that his father was here now.

Not enough, though. He still hadn't gone looking for the man since he had been given the dagger.

[wrigurun]

"Ah, that's great! It's good to know I finally got revenge!" she beamed, even though she'd really done nothing of the sort. Wriggle really was happy that everything had been (seemingly) sorted though. She knew first hand how distressing it was to not be in true control of yourself.

"I bet you're pretty angry at those admin guys, huh?"

[wegotlucky]

He nodded. "I am," he said, a trace of darkness filtering into his voice. He hated them for bringing him here in the first place. He hated Ruana for tearing control from his grip.

"It's good you got your revenge," Neal said after a moment, smiling slightly. He couldn't keep on showing his anger towards things not in his control. He had spent most of his life with everything out of his control. For Wriggle's sake, he couldn't let himself turn into another monster, or be used as a pawn for some twisted game.

[wrigurun]

She could just about detect the darkness in his voice. For someone who seemed so meek it was easy to hear. Wriggle didn't dwell on it though, in a place like this it was easy to feel frustrated.

"I guess... Although I was never angry at you so maybe I feel a little bad," she shrugged. Obviously not that bad if her greeting was to kick him in the shins but comparatively it was nothing.

[wegotlucky]

Even if she was angry at him, Neal couldn't blame her. But so long as she wasn't, he was a bit better off. "Don't worry," he said, trying to make himself cheerful. Anything to keep himself from remembering how out of control he had been.

"We've got a year," he said. "It's not a lot of time, but it's enough. That guy, Dax, seemed to have a detailed plan before he died. If we can figure out what he wanted to do, we can get revenge for real. We can save our own worlds, too."

[wrigurun]

"Who's Dax?"

Wriggle had never actually caught the video of his demise. She wasn't even aware that he had been missing, the administrators often turned into a singular organism in her mind. She eyed him curiously, her attention piqued at the mention of their worlds.

[wegotlucky]

"One of the administrators," Neal explained. "He was apparently trying to help people here, but he was killed by Ruana the month before I was brought here." It was strange, wanting to help the legacy of a man that he would never meet and almost certainly would have hated if he had arrived before.

It wasn't like he knew too much about what was going on, just the fliers that had been passed out, and the announcements on the network.

[wrigurun]

She didn't know how to respond to that and only stared at him wide-eyed. The idea that there could have been an administrator that wanted to help them, the idea that he was killed off for real was just unfathomable to her.

Even though she'd heard the name Ruana many a time before, hearing it coupled with the name Dax seemed to spark something in her memory. The first time Wriggle saw her was just a little after she'd arrived, the residence had been split into three groups each supervised by a different administrator. One by Riki, another by Jason and a third...

"He was alive when I came to the tower..." She mumbled, and somehow that fact scared her.

[wegotlucky]

Neal's head lowered. "Yeah," he said. How long had this place been around? Two years, now? He'd only been in it for a few months himself. How long Dax had been planning things, Neal didn't know. It didn't even matter now because he was gone. Everything he had learned seemed to indicate that Dax knew what he was doing. He knew that he was going to die, and he helped people anyway.

"I don't know what yet, but we've got to do something."

[wrigurun]

"Yeah..."

She's wanted to do something for a long time but what is beyond her. There's still so much she doesn't know and the tower is so much bigger than she is. Wriggle has all of the eagerness but none of the direction.

"Yeah! We'll do something! Seems like pretty much everyone here wants to go home, there must be someone smart enough to figure out what to do next."

[wegotlucky]

"Yeah, I think so," Neal said, smiling. "We've gotta stick together, don't we?" He'd relied on himself for far too long. Being in the tower had made him want to warm up to people. He needed to help out, however possible.

"There has to be a way to find our more, don't you think?"

[wrigurun]

Wriggle nodded along, having such an affinity with insects she knew teamwork in it's purest form. Of course because of this she was rather dense to how ordinary people worked together.

"I guess, maybe there are books or something? I'd look but I'm still not great at reading," she suggested, a little sheepish at her shortcoming. Before she came to the tower it had never been an issue but reading comprehension turned out to be so essential here that she'd had no choice but to be taught.

[wegotlucky]

He smiled. "I could help you," he said cheerfully. At least for the books that he could read. There wasn't much information that he could find on the tower, and when there had been a few months ago, none of it had been readable. Still, he wasn't about to give up. He needed to help stop Ruana.

"I'm sure there are simple books in the library so you don't end up over your head."

[wrigurun]

"You could?" she chirped. There were so many people willing to help her here she almost felt a little irritated that she was being helped more than helping. Still, she was excited to learn new things that would help her here.

Survival was more important than her ego right now.

"Do you think the important stuff is gonna be simple though? I thought they'd make it super complicated and hard to read so less people would understand it and wouldn't learn their weaknesses"

...

"Or maybe it's just not there? Who goes about blurting how to beat them anyway?"

With the obvious exception of Wriggle herself, of course.

[wegotlucky]

"Probably not," Neal agreed. "But I'd guess that the important stuff isn't available to us in the first place. All I've found is information out there on worlds that are more than likely not worlds anyone here is from," he gestured vaguely with his hands. "Here, though, anything is possible, I guess. We might be able to find out something that is hidden in plain sight, you know?"