His passing thoughts and his sorrows and desires

[wegotlucky]

Characters: Neal Cassidy, OPEN
Setting: Floor 81
Format: Starting out prose. Will match
Summary: Neal contemplates what to do with the "gift" he was given at the end of June.
Warnings: None to start.


It had been a while since Neal had last found himself venturing around the Tower. The memories of June had left him wanting to avoid as many people as possible, and he had found himself struggling to sleep in his bed with the words scrawled on the ceiling. Nothing was safe anymore, and as far as he knew, things could possibly get even worse. His "gift"  from Ruana, Rumplestiltskin's magic dagger, was strapped to his side, hidden away from prying eyes.

He didn't plan on using it as a weapon, but he couldn't be too careful. Why would such an object be given to him? It was meant to torture him, Neal was certain. He had killed a child. He had killed someone he cared about, and he had attacked, he murdered a sleeping man, and killed one of the most threatening people in the tower. His life was a wreck, and he had only admitted what he had been to the little girl and to Zelda. He didn't want to admit it to anyone else.

Maybe Shion, eventually. But he was afraid what might happen to him if he got too involved in things. He needed to  protect himself, but he also couldn't stand back and do nothing, could he? He looked out below, staring into the haze. Pandora was something that he could do, wasn't it? He had spent his entire life running away from his problems. He had  been running for a long, long time. Longer than he could comprehend. He had been brought here for a reason. Probably to be useful to Ruana's sick and twisted games.

He might not have a clue how to stop running, but now was good enough as any to try.

Comments

[wrigurun]

Wriggle snuck up behind him silently. Even though she'd only gotten a quick glance at the man's face she was pretty sure she remembered him, and she definitely remembered the promised they had made.

Lifting herself up she tapped Neal on the shoulder.
"Psst..."
And the moment he turned around, she kicked him in the shins.

"Okay, now we're even!"

[wegotlucky]

Fortunately for Wriggle, Neal remembered the the promise he had made with the girl. "Hey there," he said, turning away from the haze that was the only thing visible from the windows.

Upon being kicked, he doubled over, rubbing at his legs. "Ouch," he said, though he managed to appear pretty good natured over the whole thing. He couldn't be angry at her. He had done something awful to her, even if he hadn't been aware of his actions. It was only fair that she got her revenge and that it had been a pretty simple one, all things considered.

He could deal with that. "You've got a good kick, there."

[wrigurun]

She gave a smug smile, put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest.
"I've been practicing," Wriggle boasted. Now that that was done she let her shoulders relax and her smile became a lot more friendly.

"So, did you find that guy in the end? Did he help?" she asked. Even though her promise had originally been to only kick him if Neal's acquaintance hadn't helped but somehow it turned into an afterthought.

[wegotlucky]

Neal nodded. He couldn't be angry at her. He had done something horrible to her, but she didn't seem angry with him. He was grateful for that, even if his legs were still aching a bit. "Yeah. He did," he said quietly. Though he would never outright state it to Wriggle, at least not until they got closer, Neal was grateful that his father was here now.

Not enough, though. He still hadn't gone looking for the man since he had been given the dagger.

[wrigurun]

"Ah, that's great! It's good to know I finally got revenge!" she beamed, even though she'd really done nothing of the sort. Wriggle really was happy that everything had been (seemingly) sorted though. She knew first hand how distressing it was to not be in true control of yourself.

"I bet you're pretty angry at those admin guys, huh?"

[lightofhumanity]

chaos often came up to the eighty-first floor to watch the stars, and even though he knew that these were just an illusion, it was still nice to look at them, even for a moment or two. When he saw and sensed Neal on the floor, he smiled at the person, and..while the urge to peek, the normalcy of looking into a person's brain was tempting, he chose not to. Both to avoid being suspicious and to be..polite to the other person.

"Good afternoon. If you do not mind my asking..what are you pondering about?"

[wegotlucky]

Neal turned to look at the boy, smiling slightly. He hadn't seen him before, but then again, there were so many people who were trapped within the tower with him that he couldn't keep track of all of them. People came and went all the time and many of them had been trapped here for longer than he was.

"Hey," he said, before he glanced back at the haze once more before turning to face chaos. "Nothing much. Just thinking," he said, his voice having a ring of false cheerfulness to it.

[lightofhumanity]

chaos caught that false cheer. You didn't live for six thousand years around humans without noticing things like that, but..he wasn't going to comment on it. He wasn't the type to rip off masks, especially since his own name of sorts was a lie.

"I see. Looking at the stars and the sea do help to clear one's thoughts sometimes. However..if you are ever having trouble, looking for guidance from friends and confidants around you can be useful as well."

[wegotlucky]

It was fortunate that chaos wasn't the sort to call a person on a mask, because Neal wouldn't know how to react to it. It had been a long, long time since he was truly happy. The last time had been years ago, with Emma, and being dragged away after being reunited with her was slowly taking its toll on him.

"You're right," he said, nodding, glancing back at the haze. It was something he couldn't hide for long. There was still Zelda to worry about. He didn't want to burden her with what he had confessed in June, even if the problem had... fixed itself in a rather horrifying way. "I'm okay, though. Just thinking up here."

[lightofhumanity]

While chaos wouldn't call out his mask, he could relate to that feeling perfectly well. After all..it hadn't felt pleasant to lose people in his own universe, and it didn't feel good to have KOS-MOS and other friends from his own universe here..only to watch them slowly vanish over time.

"I am glad to hear that. Most of the time, this is a good place for thinking, even if the stars are artificial."

[sageprincess]

"Quite the view, is it not."

An idle statement, meant more to alert Neal of the Princess' presence than actual commentary on the endless clouds visible from this observatory. She doesn't normally stop here, but it's between the nearest elevator and the mailroom, and Neal seems troubled. With good reason, she has to think. She doesn't know what she can do to help, but he trusted her enough to open up about his role in Ruana's game. The least she can do is try.

[wegotlucky]

Neal turned around, nodding at Zelda before he turned back to the haze. "Yeah," he said, quietly. "It feels like this tower goes on forever. Like it goes out into outer space or something," he said. He'd been to the topmost floor, though, and hadn't seen any stars or planets. It looked like it was outside, though with the ever-present illusion that surrounded them, everything about it made sense.

He turned back to look at her. "You think we can do it? Fix our worlds?"

[sageprincess]

"It certainly can do some spectacular things when it is not being turned against us," she replies. And that is what her hope is riding on regarding his question. That is what R-037 told her that fateful night. Once the obstacles standing in their way had been removed, they could use the Tower's power to fix everything and go home. Truly home, and not to some wasteland.

But does she really believe they can do it at this point? Or does she just refuse to accept death or an eternity alone as the only options? It's a fine line, and she's not quite sure she can make the distinction anymore.

"Yes," she responds after a moment of quiet consideration, staring out into the clouds. "If I did not think so, what would I be fighting so hard for? There has to be a way hidden in this tower; it is just a matter of finding it."

All she's done, all the lives she's risked... it cannot be for nothing.

[wegotlucky]

Neal wanted to go home. He needed to go home, to be with Emma and Henry. But as things currently were, they didn't have much time left, did they? A year. He had a year to help the rest of the people in the tower, and he planned to do everything that he could do.

"I hope so," he said quietly, nodding. "I want to, too." If there was any chance at all that they could fix it, he'd do it. He didn't have a drop of magic in his veins, but did that matter? He'd survived this long. He had survived on the streets for a long, long time. What was another year to create a miracle?

"I'm not a warrior or anything, but I can use a sword okay."

[sageprincess]

Unlike Neal, Zelda doesn't have a family or a home in the warmest sense of the word to return to. Link was gone, Impa had ascended to the greater purpose she was destined for, and even the land Hyrule Castle itself had stood upon was little more than an island of rubble floating in a sea of lava.

Oh, she yearns to see the fields of Hyrule again, but the idea of being alone once more is... not a pleasant one.

These are thoughts she keeps to herself, however, instead diving into the safety of logic. "Steel and strength are valuable, but at this point... cunning and intelligence are likely to be our greater allies," she explains, turning around and leaning against the glass of the window to face Neal. "Even the gods and demons among us cannot hope to face them head-on as things stand now."

But perhaps... if they can figure out what Dax meant by the "keys" in Jason's possession...

[earthshards]

Truth be told, the observatory floor was a good place to lose one's self in their thoughts; peaceful, quiet, and a great view of the (admittedly false) stars.

Terra's something of a creature of habit, and he had always enjoyed stargazing back home. That he would come to this particular floor every so often wasn't surprising to those that knew him best. But seeing other people on this floor was something he wasn't terribly used to.

It's mostly out of a want to make himself known that he speaks up. "Munny for your thoughts?"

[wegotlucky]

Even if they were false, it was still relaxing in some strange way. The sky may have been foreign, but it reminded him of home. His real home in the Enchanted Forest all of those years ago. "Hey," he said, turning to look at Terra, snapping out of his dark mood.

"You come here often?"

alkdjfa; gomen for all the late ;;

[earthshards]

He makes a small 'mmhm' noise and nods briefly. "Often enough. I used to stargaze a lot back home." That was something of an understatement considering what stars were back home.

He rises from the chair he had been sitting in and crosses the distance between them, stopping at the edge of the glass and staring out at the illusion-crafted stars with a definite look of nostalgia on his face. "My friends and I used to watch them after training. Ven would try to guess what kind of worlds they all were sometimes."

no prob!

[wegotlucky]

"Seems like a common hobby," Neal said, glancing at the stars. They were fake, but it was almost pleasant. It made him miss the night sky back home, and even the sky over New York.

"Worlds?" he echoed, curiously. "Aren't they just stars?" He knew that in the Land Without Magic, people had a tendency to talk about other planets and the like, but such things weren't really an interest to Neal.

[earthshards]

That question gets a brief, apologetic laugh out of Terra. "Sorry; it's easy to forget that other universes don't work like mine. I'll try to explain."

He briefly motions at the illusory stars, and continues. "Back home, stars aren't just specks of light in the night sky. The light we see comes from that world's heart, shining through the darkness that separates them."

He pauses, and sounds almost hesitant when he speaks up again. "We're not supposed to talk about it too much, but... I don't think it matters in a place like this. Everyone's already from another world."

[trulybecomedust]

He wasn't someone who would go out and investigate things, especially here where he was without magic and the primary method of travel here was stairs. The elevator helped somewhat, but not enough to make him go out often. So it's a surprise that he did so today, only doing so because he wanted time to himself to think without anyone around or the chance of getting murdered violently.

What he wasn't expecting to find was Neal there. For one, his son had been avoiding him once again and Gold really hadn't been planning on hunting him down to find out what was wrong. He knew from experience that it wouldn't exactly end well for him. So instead of going up and confronting him, Gold instead stayed back, leaning on his cane as he looked out the window.

[wegotlucky]

The sound of the elevator was enough to snap Neal out of his thoughts, turning to glance at whoever was getting off. He shifted awkwardly when he saw his father, quickly turning to look out the window at the stars and haze. His hand moved, unconsciously, to the dagger that he had hidden.

What was going on?

It had been many, many years, but he still remembered how his father operated. There was no way that he would continue to use the cane if his magic had returned to him. Neal hated this place.

Meeting Henry had been one of the happiest moments of his life, and now here he was. Away from Emma. Away from Tamara. Away from his son. It wasn't fair, and now he was stuck with the most dangerous magical object, and the owner of said magical object standing near him. He couldn't bring himself to say anything at all.

[trulybecomedust]

Awkward silence wasn't something that Gold enjoyed, especially if it was partially his fault. Stepping forward so that he was standing to the side of Neal, he continues gazing out of the window as he thinks. Since he's well aware that Neal wasn't going break the silence, he decides that he might as well, if only to stop the silence for some period of time.

"I haven't seen you lately," he says with a touch of concern in his voice. "Did something happen?"

[wegotlucky]

Neal glanced at his father, hesitating. He wasn't about to admit that he had the knife with him, though there was the tower-induced paranoia that made him wonder if his father knew anyway. "Nothing," he said a bit too quickly, not quite meeting Gold's gaze.

[trulybecomedust]

Neal's response grabbed his attention and he looked over at him, studying him carefully to see if he could pick up anything. To hide that he's doing so, his expression changed to mild annoyance as he turned to face him fully, leaning heavily on his cane as he does.

"Come now, Bae, you shouldn't lie to your father. What happened?"