Xion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
attheclocktower) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-08-07 01:42 am
attheclocktower) wrote in towerofanimus2013-08-07 01:42 am
Fall down seven times stand up eight
Characters: Xion and the Tower
Format: Pick whichever you like and I'll match
Setting: All over the Tower
Summary: Post-infiltration recovery and ice-cream sharing, making a request, and information sharing of disorganized and more organized methods
Warnings: Possible mentions of traumatic memories including vivisection. Will add any additional warnings as needed
[Floor 1 - Backdated to July 31st evening]
[It's been two days since the infiltration, and Xion still doesn't know how to sort out the little ball of feelings nestled inside in her chest. Feelings like a multicolored skein of yarn - some bright and victorious, some dark and vicious, bold and determined, pale and fearful - all tangled up and knotted, that she's slowly had to pick out, thread by thread, until she's decided what she feels and wants to do now. The 29th would be a day she would never, ever forget.
She's mostly kept to herself in that time, since talking with people doesn't really help with the untangling, and often makes it worse, them pulling at the threads just making the knots tighter.
What finally gets her to abandon her more solemn contemplation is the impending end of the month, and with a new month - a Jason month - and (among other things) a new menu incoming… today's the last day she can enjoy certain things she's missed.
And thus, evening will find her in the cafeteria, wearing something rather more festive than her usual attire (something she just finished in the past couple weeks), with a bowl of sea-salt ice cream in front of her. She has a few other bowls set aside, similarly full, but with their own spoons, as if they're being left there for other people to take. She may be subdued company, but she's company at least, for what may be some of the last ice cream they'll have in a while.]
================
[Room 1-15 - Backdated to August 1st, locked to Namine]
[And by the next day, she's made her decision. What they'd seen - what she and Yu, the only true witnesses - had seen, cannot be kept to themselves. The others need to know, need to know what they were really facing, and what it maybe means. At the very least, it is a piece to the puzzle, like she'd said on the network. And every piece could help make the bigger picture become more clear.
Only every time she tries to describe what she saw, her mind suddenly becomes as blank and devoid of anything adequate as the fog surrounding the Tower. She cand just… describe what she'd seen. The words just won't come, too mixed up in everything that had come after, their brief triumph, the desparate flight, and then…
If there was only a way to capture what she'd seen, put it on a piece of paper, and show it to the other residents, the other rebels, instead. Then she wouldn't need words.
It's when she's staring at the picture of herself, Roxas, and Axel, pinned to the wall above her bed, that she realizes. Maybe there was a way.
And with that she slips down the hallway, to a room she hasn't been to in a while, and knocks on the door. Would Namine be there?]
================
[Around the Tower - August 5th-6th]
[It's taken a few days to truly feel settled and ready for this, but now she is. Now she has what she needs. And now… she just needs to find everyone she needs to talk to. So she'll poke around the Tower looking for certain people, particularly her closer CR and those she knows to be members of the resistance movement. It's a little frustrating, moving with her escorting retrieval unit, but she doesn't even bother to shake it off. Jason already knows what she knows, and if he hadn't wanted it to be known, he could have erased her memory, or something.
And as Dax had said, after all, the more people information is shared with, the less the admins themselves would be able to erase that knowledge. Though if Jason hadn't erased it, maybe it wasn't important knowledge at all. But she isn't sure, and that lack of surety in and of itself is enough reason to press forward.
Puzzle pieces.
Xion can be found hanging around different commonly visited indoor floors of the Tower - the cafeteria, the libraries, the lounges - sometimes even waiting on them, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waits. If she sees a person or group of people, she'll approach them, a little hesitantly, peering among them carefully. At other times, she'll be poking around the floors in general, clearly looking for something - or someone.
To anyone who sees her though, she's clearly clutching a piece of paper to her chest protectively, and consequently is avoiding all outdoor floors in the Tower.]
================
[Library - August 7th]
[At last she's realized - and perhaps gained enough confidence - that she's realized running around the Tower is - at best - horribly inefficient, and it may be better to approach the situation head on. After making a brief post to the network, she places herself in the library, at one of the more easily spottable terminals. She replies to a certain anonymous post as she waits for anyone who might answer her call, though her eyes frequently dart to the paper lying next to her, or to the stairs if she hears footsteps on them]
================
[Room 1-01 - Backdated to July 30th, locked to Yu Narukami and Shion]
[It didn't get any easier. It still didn't get any easier. No matter how many times she died, the being unable to move, the heavy feeling on top of her, the hallucinations, being able to hear things and sense things that may or may not be there...
She's trapped in that state for an hour, unable to do anything, even cry properly. Just focus on one breath, then the next, anything. Try not to notice the sounds and the feelings and most importantly try not to remember. Remember being strapped to that table and screaming and pain as Jason riffled around her insides for his own sick amusement-
She may not immediately notice, in fact, if someone comes in near the end of that hour, so wrapped up she is in the sleep paralysis and memories. She may not even notice when that same sleep paralysis releases its hold on her.]
Format: Pick whichever you like and I'll match
Setting: All over the Tower
Summary: Post-infiltration recovery and ice-cream sharing, making a request, and information sharing of disorganized and more organized methods
Warnings: Possible mentions of traumatic memories including vivisection. Will add any additional warnings as needed
[Floor 1 - Backdated to July 31st evening]
[It's been two days since the infiltration, and Xion still doesn't know how to sort out the little ball of feelings nestled inside in her chest. Feelings like a multicolored skein of yarn - some bright and victorious, some dark and vicious, bold and determined, pale and fearful - all tangled up and knotted, that she's slowly had to pick out, thread by thread, until she's decided what she feels and wants to do now. The 29th would be a day she would never, ever forget.
She's mostly kept to herself in that time, since talking with people doesn't really help with the untangling, and often makes it worse, them pulling at the threads just making the knots tighter.
What finally gets her to abandon her more solemn contemplation is the impending end of the month, and with a new month - a Jason month - and (among other things) a new menu incoming… today's the last day she can enjoy certain things she's missed.
And thus, evening will find her in the cafeteria, wearing something rather more festive than her usual attire (something she just finished in the past couple weeks), with a bowl of sea-salt ice cream in front of her. She has a few other bowls set aside, similarly full, but with their own spoons, as if they're being left there for other people to take. She may be subdued company, but she's company at least, for what may be some of the last ice cream they'll have in a while.]
================
[Room 1-15 - Backdated to August 1st, locked to Namine]
[And by the next day, she's made her decision. What they'd seen - what she and Yu, the only true witnesses - had seen, cannot be kept to themselves. The others need to know, need to know what they were really facing, and what it maybe means. At the very least, it is a piece to the puzzle, like she'd said on the network. And every piece could help make the bigger picture become more clear.
Only every time she tries to describe what she saw, her mind suddenly becomes as blank and devoid of anything adequate as the fog surrounding the Tower. She cand just… describe what she'd seen. The words just won't come, too mixed up in everything that had come after, their brief triumph, the desparate flight, and then…
If there was only a way to capture what she'd seen, put it on a piece of paper, and show it to the other residents, the other rebels, instead. Then she wouldn't need words.
It's when she's staring at the picture of herself, Roxas, and Axel, pinned to the wall above her bed, that she realizes. Maybe there was a way.
And with that she slips down the hallway, to a room she hasn't been to in a while, and knocks on the door. Would Namine be there?]
================
[Around the Tower - August 5th-6th]
[It's taken a few days to truly feel settled and ready for this, but now she is. Now she has what she needs. And now… she just needs to find everyone she needs to talk to. So she'll poke around the Tower looking for certain people, particularly her closer CR and those she knows to be members of the resistance movement. It's a little frustrating, moving with her escorting retrieval unit, but she doesn't even bother to shake it off. Jason already knows what she knows, and if he hadn't wanted it to be known, he could have erased her memory, or something.
And as Dax had said, after all, the more people information is shared with, the less the admins themselves would be able to erase that knowledge. Though if Jason hadn't erased it, maybe it wasn't important knowledge at all. But she isn't sure, and that lack of surety in and of itself is enough reason to press forward.
Puzzle pieces.
Xion can be found hanging around different commonly visited indoor floors of the Tower - the cafeteria, the libraries, the lounges - sometimes even waiting on them, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waits. If she sees a person or group of people, she'll approach them, a little hesitantly, peering among them carefully. At other times, she'll be poking around the floors in general, clearly looking for something - or someone.
To anyone who sees her though, she's clearly clutching a piece of paper to her chest protectively, and consequently is avoiding all outdoor floors in the Tower.]
================
[Library - August 7th]
[At last she's realized - and perhaps gained enough confidence - that she's realized running around the Tower is - at best - horribly inefficient, and it may be better to approach the situation head on. After making a brief post to the network, she places herself in the library, at one of the more easily spottable terminals. She replies to a certain anonymous post as she waits for anyone who might answer her call, though her eyes frequently dart to the paper lying next to her, or to the stairs if she hears footsteps on them]
================
[Room 1-01 - Backdated to July 30th, locked to Yu Narukami and Shion]
[It didn't get any easier. It still didn't get any easier. No matter how many times she died, the being unable to move, the heavy feeling on top of her, the hallucinations, being able to hear things and sense things that may or may not be there...
She's trapped in that state for an hour, unable to do anything, even cry properly. Just focus on one breath, then the next, anything. Try not to notice the sounds and the feelings and most importantly try not to remember. Remember being strapped to that table and screaming and pain as Jason riffled around her insides for his own sick amusement-
She may not immediately notice, in fact, if someone comes in near the end of that hour, so wrapped up she is in the sleep paralysis and memories. She may not even notice when that same sleep paralysis releases its hold on her.]
no subject
There's something I need to talk to you about. Something I haven't gotten to tell you yet.
[Perhaps she should have sooner, but... she hadn't felt ready yet.]
no subject
I'm listening. Don't rush into explaining, though. Take your--... actually... is it something that's hard for you to talk about?
no subject
Yeah... something like that. Why?
[If Sheba's about to tell her she doesn't need to hear it right away, then Xion will almost certainly wave her concerns off. She can talk about it. She needs to. For everyone's sake.]
no subject
[She's become almost reckless with the mind reading lately; it's quite the change from before, when she was so frightened by what had happened to her already when she used it to try again. But Xion needs to get this information to her, and Sheba doesn't want to force her to say it if she doesn't want to.
The obvious (to Sheba, anyway) solution? Read Xion's mind. Or try to, anyway.]
no subject
Unfortunately, she'll get a lot more than she bargained for. There'll be the decision to herself - to tell people about what she'd seen. Then flashes, bits and pieces of talking to others - one on one - showing them a piece of paper, and while Sheba can certainly find what Xion is talking about, it's the shadow of the thing, not the substance. If she were to dig just a little bit deeper though, into Xion's memories...
That's when there's a reaction. Psynergy is generally noticed by Adepts, and Xion is a magic-user in her own world, a very close equivalent. But more than that, Xion herself is memories. So of course Xion notices. She lets out a faint cry of pain and clutches at her head, as if experiencing a suddenly blistering headache.
But for Xion, memories are like a chain, one connected to the next. And now that Sheba's following along a particular chain, the chain of the infiltration, and what Xion learned there, she'll be able to see all of it. From the drawing that Namine did, Xion will be able to jump to the real thing. Jason, chasing after her and Yu, with arms pulling him along. The red lights shining dimly and Xion's own feet pounding beneath her, her hand in Yu's and a carefully controlled fear. Jason, pulling the skin of his arm back and hurling scalpels after them.
Stumbling through the dark, down stairs with silver scalpels falling like deadly rain. Landing in the morgue and finally being pinned down and helpless and afraid and frantic, knowing you're doomed yet trying to fight back anyway.
At least you've chosen a convenient location for this.
The pain in her feet and her arm as Jason goes after Yu, as Xion tries to stop him and her blade passes through him like water. Panic - fear for the friend she cares about so much so much, but knowing she's helpless. Shouting - demanding - that Jason leave him alone.
Did you both have fun?
The glamour ends. Sheba's seen all that Xion was discussing, but now it's like - in the process of digging through Xion's memories - she's started a process that won't stop on its own. A tangled knot of memories, all tied together and jumbled up given Xion's inability to sort them all out.
Now, let's see about dealing with you two. You are the main cause of this little chase, of course.
She's strapped down. Strapped down and helpless, unable to do anything at all. Barely able to move. Jason plunges a scalpel into Yu's neck. The cold, painful silver of the blade runs down Xion's own chest. She argues, tells him they'll fight no matter what he does. Then pain. Pain beyond imagining, pain beyond anything Xion's ever experienced before. Time seems to lose meaning as Jason cuts her open and works. As her own blood seems to coat everything, as her own vision becomes a red haze of agony that never stops, as Jason plays with his new toy. She screams, screams until her voice gives out but no one hears or cares.
Even with their entrails dragging along behind them, even when they're certainly dead, rats and mice will fight. That's why I like all of you so much.
And then it's over. And all that's left is Xion shaking with her hands over her face. Even if she didn't see everything Sheba just saw, she clearly saw enough.]
What... what did you do?
[There's the tiniest note of accusation in her voice, but it's overshadowed by the pain and the fear at what she'd just relived. She'd locked it away, hidden parts of it from even herself. But now the lock was gone.]
no subject
[That hadn't been what she was expecting at all. She's seen memories before. Usually, she's detached from it - she just views them, the person whose memories she's viewing has a vague recollection of the event Sheba is lingering on. But this is different. It's intense and overwhelming and -
That's what they went through when Dark Pit and I escaped.
The guilt is overwhelming. Guilt for escaping at all and leaving the others behind - guilt for making Xion relive it now - guilt for not being able to do more. She hears the pain, the fear, and the accusation, and each note in Xion's voice is another barb.]
I thought it would be easier... if I saw it, instead of making you talk about it. I didn't know your memories would be that strong... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!
[For the hurricane of memories, and for so many other things.]
no subject
A part of her wants to snap, to yell, to get angry. But the other part of her catches what Sheba said. I didn't know your memories would be that strong. Well, she was a replica, wasn't she? She was made of memories. That made sense - they were a part of her being, not just her head. She forgot it sometimes. Forgot - in her rush of hatred towards monsters like Jason and Ganondorf - that she wasn't quite human herself]
No. Y-you... you couldn't have known. [What she was. What she was made of.] I'm sorry. I should've... I should've known.
[Xion tries to push herself to her feet, move deeper into the library, get away do something, but her legs are still shaking, so badly she has to grab the chair she just vacated to support herself]
no subject
[Her brows furrow in concern and she gets up as Xion does, one hand reaching out to try and help steady her. She would understand if Xion pulled away or told her not to touch her, though; after what Sheba had just done, she wouldn't blame Xion one bit if she didn't want anything to do with her. It was bad enough having gone through that once. But to have to relive it a second time...]
I'm sorry, too. Do you want me to help you find somewhere else to be right now? The library can be a little stifling...
no subject
Still though, she wants the comfort of something familiar. Something almost nostalgic. And at Sheba's suggestion, a thought occurs to her]
Can... we go to Floor 20? I know... it's a bit of a walk though...
[She could make a corridor, though that was a bit risky and neither of them had coats. She's not sure she feels steady enough on her feet though, to go up all those stairs...]
no subject
[Sheba stops to think for a moment; Xion was in no fit shape to walk the whole way up. Seventeen floors is difficult even when you're not distraught or disoriented. Thankfully, Sheba can use Hover for a pretty decent length of time...]
I can float you if you don't feel up to walking. Unless you know of a faster way up?
no subject
I do but... it's dangerous. Floating's probably better. Sorry...
[Even though she knows Sheba is pretty capable with Float, seventeen floors feels like a lot to her...]
no subject
[Sheba smiles - and her smile is a touch confident, maybe too confident. In her defense, she sort of deserves it. Her skill with Hover came from a lot of hard work and practice.]
You're a lot lighter than a ship. --I'll have to tell you about that, sometime. But for now... [She concentrates, stretches out her hand towards Xion and then casts Hover. Slowly - carefully - the wind at her feet shifts and changes into something that will lift her gently into the air.]
Is that okay?
no subject
A hand snakes over to grab Sheba by the shoulder nevously as she's lifted off the ground. It's still a strange feeling. And gentle, not like how he'd dragged her off the floor and her feet hurting-]
H-huh? Oh. Yeah. It's fine.
no subject
She starts to walk for the staircase, and Xion floats alongside her. Sheba doesn't seem too bothered by it. Lifting a single person is much easier than things she's had to do in the past.]
Good. Tell me if we're going too fast; I can slow down if you want.
no subject
However, when she has to be set down on her feet again, on floor eleven, she looks out and realizes. In... in everything that'd happened, she'd forgotten that it'd been pouring rain outside.
Ignoring the stairway up to the upper levels, Xion takes one hesitant step after another towards the outside, out into the rain itself. The Tower overhang provides enough cover that she only feels the heavy spray when there's a particularly large wind gust. Still, the weather turns the skies ahead into a sea of dark, stormy gray. Quite unlike what she'd been hoping for.
She turns to look back at Sheba. There's really no point going up to Floor 20 now, not... not for the original reason, at least. But still...]
Sheba... do you think... you could do that thing again? Seeing my memories? Only... this time focus on what I'm trying to remember.
[She's not sure if the reliving thing is just for Jason's memories, or if it'll work for this too. But she hopes.]
no subject
[It surprises Sheba that Xion would ask her to do it again, when she'd had such a bad reaction to it already. Then again - it was bad memories that had been dredged up, not good ones. And if Xion wanted her to try something new, she certainly wouldn't say no. Especially not if it might help.]
I can, but... are you sure?
[If Xion insists, she'll get started right then and there - she just wants to make sure the other girl has thought this through.]
no subject
Yeah. I'm sure.
[When Sheba does look this time, it'll be immediately clear - even from Xion's conscious thoughts - what she's trying to point Sheba towards. It's a series of memories - a chain, like the one in the infiltration. But they're nowhere near as vivid, dulling a little with time and age.
High up - Xion's high up, wearing the black coat she used to wear before it was half-destroyed. There's two others with her, wearing coats. They're sitting together and laughing, eating the same flavor of ice cream that Xion had recommended a week ago. And the sky in front of them all is beautiful - golds and yellows and oranges and reds, a fantastic evening sky, worthy of the name Twilight Town.
There's several of these flashes, moments with her friends, always the same place. And overall there's a feeling of contentment.
It's not nearly as strong as the chain of the infiltration, but it should be enough to more than get the point across, and to leave Xion looking a bit calmer once Sheba's done.]
no subject
She can almost taste the salty-sweet of the ice cream, can almost feel the rays of the perpetually setting sun. She knows they're just memories, but even dulled as they are, they're vivid even after all this time here, and so maybe they're more than just memories - they must be. Experiencing them leaves Sheba with a strong sense of peace, and they aren't even things she's experienced. For Xion, the effect must be that much more potent.
When the chain comes to an end and the last memory fades out in a blur of orange and red and gold, Sheba smiles.]
...your memories are beautiful, Xion.
no subject
Thank you.
[Her voice is quiet.]
I think... it's my friends, that make them like that. The town was called Twilight Town. I've never been anywhere as beautiful.
[Not even Destiny Islands. Though that might've been something her friends made too.]
I... I miss them. And there, sometimes. Even though...
['Even though I know I can't go back'.]
no subject
[And Sheba thinks she does - her memories are at their best and brightest when she recalls her friends. The places she's been mean so much to her because her friends were there.
Remembering them is bittersweet - because in some cases, a memory is all they have left. But it's better to remember than it is to forget.]
Hey... [Her voice is soft.] You know what people said, about restoring the worlds? If we can restore them, we can find a way to fix them for the better, too. So that you can go back and everything will be alright.
no subject
[Xion shakes her head, looking out onto the floor, with its water falling and the gray skies beyond. Letting go of Sheba, she takes a few steps forward, feeling raindrops pelt her face.]
It won't be all right, even if we do restore the worlds. Maybe... maybe for them. [She looks down.] But not for me.
[Should she be thinking like that? Was that the learned helplessness talking? Like she'd talked with Asch about less than three weeks past. But there was so much about her situation back home that she... she didn't want to risk changing. She didn't want to risk her friends lives and freedoms... not just for herself.]
no subject
[She takes a few steps out after the other girl, paying the raindrops little to no mind. It's water, and getting a little wet is nothing when faced with her friend's words. Not for me - the words make Sheba furrow her brow. It sounds almost fatalistic, almost like it's an ending that's set in stone. And it's not an ending she wants to see Xion have.]
Don't you see? If we restore the worlds, we'll be remaking them with our own hands. [She holds out her hands as a demonstration.] We'll have been changed by our time here, and we can use the things we've learned to change our worlds for the better. Things that might have seemed inevitable before can be changed. Where there were once only one or two options, there might be three or even four.
...and after everything that's gone on here, you deserve the best possible option.